Realms of Wonder

Hey all, fully recognizing that the choice and decision will be up to me, feedback would still be super valuable. Basic premise... I do not know what kind of job to transition into while I continue to build my musical career. Back from an 8 day solo retreat, spurred into action by a health problem caused at my current vocation (Cook in a kitchen.) During the retreat, I began seriously strategizing what job/career I would transition into, main idea was... Get an internship at a music studio, work my way up to a producer, then work that job and gain the skills it would bring, till my music career takes off. Once back online, I began researching the viability of that plan, it took as little as 30 minutes of research to realize that it would not work, no way. Now I am at a loss. I am sitting in a large pool of uncertainty, not knowing what to do. Context. Life Purpose: To play Awe-inspiring music, guiding people into states of loving-introspection, making them Authentic. Ideal Medium: Live performance. Domain of Mastery: Songwriting. Top three values. Authenticity/Truthfulness Music Wisdom Signature strengths. Authenticity/Genuineness Wisdom/Perspective My long term strategic Life-Purpose intent/Vision (5-30 years,) is to be a successful independent musical artist, to perform Live, spiritually connected Music, leading to mystical, breakthrough experience for the audience. I am little over two years into the skill building stage, my music is getting pretty good, but not so good they cant ignore me, not to the point where I can quit my job and just start touring... There are so many developmental steps before that can happen, building a loyal fanbase, releasing a catalog of high quality, brand aligned music, marketing myself, a website, social media presence, and yes, eventually, live performance and touring. Ideally, this job would be creative, allowing me to increase relevant skills, anything from networking/social skills, to actual songwriting or playing music, marketing, website work, and so on. Also allowing me to work less than 45 hours a week, giving me enough free time to continue my training outside of work. WHAT DO I DO? Do I continue to try and find a job in the Musical field? Do I get a job that allows me a more healthy, stable platform to build my life purpose on? Am I missing something obvious? What questions am I not asking? What blind spots am I not seeing? I feel that I am missing something, I imagine there being TONS of opportunities, ways to make my life purpose work. I just dont know, I cant see what the future holds. Any feedback appreciated. Regardless of what happens, I will continue on this path, not knowing is fine. Much love,

4-ACO-DMT lead to a profound insight into my life purpose, everything led from that.

Watched Crazy beautiful, not usually into romantic dramas, but its a great love story, showing a powerful example of actual Love. Selflessness. Brought me to tears two times. Into season two of Carnival, symbolically speaking, its incredibly profound, and lots of great quotes from the characters, its got a lot there, its well made, the acting is great, the story is unique and gripping. the imagery is also really interesting, how the story is told, etc.. Also the MUSIC is awesome!

Admitted into East West College of healing arts! A 15 month, 800 clinical hour course, meeting all the criteria to apply for and pass the license exam.

like this?

Thanks for sharing your perspective. that bubble was burst a long time ago ? Have done a lot of work to understand the exact niche I am creating my music for, still more to understand, but that is a good point, a product build for everyone is a product built for no one! Congrats! Respect, that's a lot of Hard Work! What have been some of the mental hurdles/barriers you have had to overcome to do that? Good points! Currently working a cooking job, it pays the bills well, but it is so hard on my body, and mind, its stressful, and I see the negative impact my work does. Currently enrolling in Massage therapy school, working as a Massage therapist will be a stable foundation to continue building my life purpose on top of, and will free up another 20 or so hours a week to devote to practice, skill building, marketing, social media content, and so on.. Thank you! @Michael569 very encouraging

Well said, that is the stage I am in now, practicing, refining/discovering my style, putting together a catalog of songs for when I begin releasing them, and marketing seriously. Not just writing beautiful music, building the skillset of songwriting. I like that last bit, I often see things too black and white, one or the other, when they can be done simultaneously

That's a good point, that's another skill in the successful Independent artist's toolbelt

Yesterday, an easy day to keep my commitment to take care of my body, being at home, with the food I have there. There are no unhealthy options, so nice.

Admissions interview set for tomorrow, 10:30 A.M, requested transcripts from my old highschool. Attended a free, 3 hour massage class put on by the college. AMAZING!

Willing to sacrifice a lot, and do already, there is a balance there, a sustainable way to do it, or maybe not! I dont know, still figuring it out. Thanks for the comment It took all of 15-30 minutes of research to realize that working in a studio is very far from my life purpose. I want to write new music, create whole new genres and experiences for people, breakthroughs, emotionally, spiritually and mentally with music, studios dont really help make that happen. The current job I have (Working as a cook) pays the bills well enough, however it is very stressful, and very hard on my body, in the middle of a transition period. That is AWESOME that you have been able to transition into working full time playing/teaching/freelancing in music. proud of you! must have taken a lot Thanks for sharing your perspective. Thank you for sharing your wisdom! Not attracted to being a pop-star, or even being mainstream, instead to, like you said above, build a core, loyal fanbase that loves my work, is impacted by it deeply, akin to how Leo has impacted my life, I would pay to fly to see him at an event, I have bought his course, and book course, that person has created SO MUCH VALUE, its a no brainer. That's how I want it to be with the content I create. Thank you! You touched on a lot, thank you for sharing that channel! great to see others succeed doing something similar to what I desire to.

You're scared? glad you respect the substance. DMT doesn't have to be terrifying, its extremely dose dependent, start small, tiny, if you want, and work your way up.

Day Two: Not an easy day, but proud to know I followed through. No deserts, no fried foods, just salad, chicken, veggies, watermelon, almonds, some bacon, and stevia sweetened cold brew with coconut/oat milk. This is not as hard as I thought it would be. I keep re-committing. This is a choice that aligns with EVERY single one of my values.

In a stage of boundary setting, advocating for my needs and wants, better communication, and truthfulness with people.

A major hurdle is building trust with myself, that I will follow through, do what I said I would, and continue to take action aligned with my choice, which ultimately is aligned with my top ten values and vision for life.

Hey all, Beginning to realize the massive role trauma plays in hindering this growth journey, desiring to deeper understand the traumatic events in the past, to heal and integrate them as completely as possible. What are the most effective ways to integrate/heal childhood trauma? I appreciate any ideas and questions you have! Stay true, be you!

Day one actually living through the decision to treat my body well. 'Twas a long day at work, stressful, and instead of using the GF cake, or eating some coconut whip, or snacking on fries to cope, I just focused on the work, and allowed myself to feel how I was feeling. A successful day.

Applied to East West College of healing arts.

This is just the beginning, saying all this means little, the follow through, the struggle, the eventual success, is where this journal will focus on. Plus any more decisions made along the way.

Second Decision. To take good care of my body Via Nutrition and food. I have been letting my nutrition, what I have been putting i my body, and my standards around food, slide, a LOT over the last few months. to the point where at work, I will be snacking on anything Gluten free and dairy free, Vegan ice-cream, GF cake, French fries, Fried fritters, Almonds, salami, pepperoni, and so on. I feel it, my body heavy, the nausea, the lack of energy, the crashes, the lack of alignment with my Values. So last night, as I lay there, wallowing in the consequences of my unconscious food decisions. I choose. I will take goo care of my body. What does that mean? No more snacking. (unless I bring them from home) No more added sugars. Continue being gluten free and dairy free. As I lay there, and this morning on my walking, thinking and reflecting on how this decision aligns with my values. It aligns with every singe one in one way or another. I have been betraying myself, my values, and my Vision for my life by putting this in my body. There's nothing wrong with me, I still love myself, just realizing what I am doing has been sobering. The cost. The pleasure of sugar, snacking, eating. To face the underling stress and emotional turmoil causing me to look to food to numb it. the work to prep more food, and be more conscious of what I put in my body. To say no when my mind tries to convince me "Just this once." To say no to others when they offer it.

So Many: (New Rough Finished Song) https://drive.google.com/file/d/19fzXZYN40-npIOR0gMyLnrGnjY4RSww_/view?usp=sharing Verse 1 So many days Feeling uncertain So many years unanswered questions So many tears As I learn feel again Even more fears As I look within Chorus 1 How do I face every fear So I can love more than my self Something has pulled me to here To surrender to knowing myself Verse 2 So many times I had the answer Only to find More levels to life So many lies keep me from being Even more truth That I ran from in fear Chorus 2 X3 How do I face every fear So I can love more than my self Something has pulled me to here To surrender to knowing myself

Thanks for the suggestion

Thank you! @puporing Those are some really inspiring methods, seems that going through the grieving process, going meta wit it, and deeper awakenings call to me the most. I Love That visualization from the LPC, that was the first stage of realizing how deep/much trauma is in this mind. Thank you for sharing that video as well!

A Path With Heart: (New Rough finished Song) https://drive.google.com/file/d/1kI50zHxqFT82JgkhUkWJPY4FN4PJC6HO/view?usp=sharing Verse 1 The Good life is a few High quality choices away I feel so much uncertainty As I choose to make my own way I doubt myself in all the things I choose Cuz what if it is just the wrong path for me Even if it means that means that I gotta lose As I learn to see what life can really be Chorus 1 I choose The path that will grow me The one that I am afraid of I choose the way that will show me The path with heart Verse 2 What keeps me from making choices to grow my whole life Sometimes its fear that this choice is wrong maybe I'm scared of how it will change my mind I see the best choices that I've ever made So grateful that I had to courage to choose Also I see the times I chose to fear And took that path of least resistance until I saw Chorus 2 I choose The path that will grow me The one that I am afraid of I choose the way that will show me The path with heart