Proserpina

Member
 View profile  See their activity

  • Content count

    3,259

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by Proserpina

  3. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    Maybe I'm able to reach these states at all because I'm willing to play with madness.  

    My partner started to sing this song ^ when that thought crossed my mind. Aren't synchronicities winks from the universe when you're on the right track?

    Hahahaha

  4. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    Meditation notes:

    - mindfulness of head and spine is enough although intense concentration results in intense bliss. Don't chase bliss. 

    - Integration of major dualities like Self and Other. It's funny but I tend to only be mindful or non judgemental toward other, not myself.  It might be just unique to me and my journey.  Integrating myself results in leaning back, self love, masculine energy.  It's a major duality integration for me.

    - I'm very conscious of the whole and it's wellbeing.  But less so of my own cell. It's my own path.  

    - replace concentration ability with simple mindfulness/ non judgement practice,  polarization,  spine and head work

    - polarization: calm, sweet, cheerful, high big 5, non judgemental, mindful,  acceptance of otherness

  5. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    I experienced a full 'psychosis' last night. My first since being medicated: 

    Notes- 

    - Synchronicities lead up to full 'psychosis'

    - people's faces and their voices and the content display information that is not normal

    - was in a higher dimension

    - lyrics sound like they are talking right at me

    - the veil between the spirit world and normal world was exceptionally thin

    - it's a continuation of what I had already experienced

    - there was strong desire. 

    - full sentience

    - they had deep knowledge of everything I'd been experiencing without them present

  7. Posted

    10 hours ago, Razard86 said:

    What one fears the most is self-judgment. 

    What one fears is their being.

    Not just the capital True Self, but the ego self as well.

    Notice one spends their entire life pointing their attention outward.

    They complain about others, wish others were more like them. But the irony is, they don't even like themselves

    If you were to question someone why they say and do the things they do, they deflect. Why?

    Because they do not want to look at their ego. They are ashamed of their ego. Their ego is selfish and they do not want to admit it.

    It is much easier to demonize others, to project your shame onto those around you. Instead of acknowledging your shame and taking ownership.

    The only time you own your pain is when you claim someone else caused it, but that's not ownership that is blaming someone else as the author of what YOU ARE CREATING.

    Its funny, as long as you blame others for what you create within, you will continue to suffer. So why do you do this? Because you love to suffer.

    You would rather choose suffering than facing yourself and recognizing yourself as your own abuser. The pain of that realization is more scary to you                       than suffering. The lesser of two evils in your eyes so you choose to suffer.

    Your entire life your abuser has been you, it has always been you. You are sadistic, you refuse to face the fact that you enjoy your own abuse. Your abuse after awhile gets to become too much, even though you are a masochist even a masochist has limits. 

    Your abuse at this point either forces you to face yourself, confront yourself all along. To realize you as the creator of your own reality. Or you run even harder and choose to end it all.

    The choice is yours, but realize you cannot escape from you. You will exist for all eternity. Better to confront and realize what you are.

     

     

    Yes! ♥ 

  9. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    The more I mull over it by myself the more the STO and STS version from Law of One is legit.  Union oriented vs division oriented sounds very similar to law of One, no?

    How to reconcile twin flame theory with law of one?

    .........

    STS is transformed along the path to be union oriented.  STO becomes division oriented which is a part of being union oriented. 

    Angels on the sideline
    Puzzled and amused
    Why did Father give these humans free will?
    Now they're all confused

    Don't these talking monkeys know that
    Eden has enough to go around?
    Plenty in this holy garden, silly monkeys
    Where there's one you're bound to divide it
    Right in two

    Angels on the sideline,
    Baffled and confused
    Father blessed them all with reason,
    And this is what they choose?

    Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over
    Pieces of the ground
    Silly monkeys
    Give them thumbs, they forge a blade
    And where there's one they're bound to divide it
    Right in two
    Right in two

    Monkey killing, monkey killing monkey over
    Pieces of the ground
    Silly monkeys
    Give them thumbs, they make a club
    To beat their brother down
    How they've survived so misguided is a mystery
    Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability
    To lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here

    Gotta divide it all right in two
    Gotta divide it all right in two
    Gotta divide it all right in two
    Gotta divide it all right in two

    Fight till they die over sun, over sky
    They fight till they die over sea, over air
    They fight till they die over blood, over love
    They fight till they die over words, polarizing
    Angels on the sideline again
    Benched along with patience and reason
    Angels on the sideline again
    Wondering where this tug of war will end
    Gotta divide it all right in two
    Gotta divide it all right in two
    Gotta divide it all right in two
    Right in two
    Right in two

  10. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    When I would read books or listen to people speak in the hungry ghost/ hell realm all I would see and hear was hell realm and hungry ghost realm content unless I kept listening/reading then it would integrate and dissolve. I stood as No One. I served my karma by listening. 

    ohhhhhh....isn't this amazing?
    it's my favorite part because....you'll see
    here's where she meets Prince Charming
    but she won't discover that it's him
    till chapter three

  11. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    I think most of my experiences with psychosis can be explained that way.  

    Polarization and integration of union and division leads to union. Major polarities integrated or collapsed. 

    Union can mean so many things.  

    Disharmony can mean so many things

    ........

    God - Union - feminine

    Not God - Division - masculine

    Realm of Union - Realm of Women

     

    It's a play between division and union

    ..........

    Blur is Union.  Union leads to more Union.  Union includes division

    ........

    Lack of union between union and division in the realm of Union leads to the hell and hungry ghost realms.  Demons of excess.  

    ..........

    Feminine is union,  leaning forward.  Leaning forward is uniting,  attached, union - oriented, security seeking. If it was up to the feminine there would be union.  But union can be clingy and  pushes the other away, especially if the other is division-oriented. Division-oriented are freedom seeking.  Avoidant. They are dividing (men responsible for most wars). 

    ............

    I think it's a mistake to create any hard lines between self development and spirituality. If you want ascension. 

    ...........

    -This was all born out of feeling different, to a ridiculous degree.  I think it's STO. 

    - STS feels like an amplification of 'normal'. STO feels like an amplification of 'other'. 

    - STO essentially becomes God during crisis if already integrated.  Activation. 

    - All that is required is union orientation,  alignment with God.  

    - STS and STO are ideal partners

    - STO that is not integrated will encounter hell and hungry ghost realm (as lesson?)

  19. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    If you collapse major dualities (Masculine,  feminine,  STO, STS, leaning forward, leaning back) within yourself through Awareness or other means, it impacts the mirror or your relationships with others.  There is Union.  There is harmony. 

    This major Union and harmony between major polarities begins to collapse the divide between reality and the spirit world.  And then everything else collapses if you follow that trail. 

    But again major dualities have to collapse before massive dualities collapse. 

  20. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    Awareness creates Union.

    Dualities and polarities collapse.  

    But what does that LOOK like at advanced levels.  It's looks like Union on all levels. In myself,  in 'others',  with 'others' and with God. The rapture. That can be frightening.  

    Just continuous Union on all levels until it all collapses.  

    Yin and yang collapse. Active and passive collapse.  It all looks like spirit. 

     

  22. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    -Pointing to mirror, mirror is the blur. 

    Mirror occurs as a result of leaning back.  

    -Summary: 

    1. Polarized Feminine energy results in masculine energy mirror.  (Woman-Man)

    2. Integrated masculine energy results in feminine energy mirror. (Man - Woman) Total mirror. 

    Masculine and feminine in unity in the earth. Polarities in union.  

    3. Mirror results in blur

    4. Blur results in spirit realm

    -New world allstar talks about pulling in your energy. That pulling in your energy results in Union (in self, mirror [twinflame] and with God)

    -Carl Jung recommends integration of the unconscious and anima/animus. He was having visions. 

    -I do think Carl Jung and New world allstar and Ra and whoever created the paradox effect saw what I have glimpses of. They have maps of it.   I should study their work more.  

     

    Let me love you like a woman
    Let me hold you like a baby
    Let me shine like a diamond
    Let me be who I'm meant to be
    Talk to me in songs and poems
    Don't make me be bittersweet
    Let me love you like a woman
    Take you to infinity
    Let me love you like a woman (let me hold you like a baby)
    Take you to infinity
    Let me love you like a woman (let me hold you like a baby)
    Take you to infinity

  23. Posted

    It's like all that consciousness gets channeled in a healthier way with medication. I'm too imbalanced atm to handle the consciousness in normal state without medication. Medication decreases my level of consciousness in exchange for it manifesting in a healthier way.  

    Upsides to being medicated: 

    Inhibition

    Sweet natured 

    calm

    Cheerful

    Conscious in a different way

    I make sense

  25. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    Things I've experienced in 'psychosis' part 3:

    Demon possession

    Smell of death everywhere on earth as the blood ran

    Strange alien object giving me vital information

    Booming energy coming from the sky forcing me to act

    Collecting bad karma

    Prostitution (not literal)

    Channeling higher information

    Guided by higher forces

    Legion of angels assisting

    Garden warrior (sitting in the garden to shift vibration)

    Martyrdom. Sacrificing myself for collective accruing massive trauma

    Meeting prince charming (don't laugh)

    Near assassination 

    Disembodied visual voices

    Called to lean forward 

    Lack of leaning forward -other than polarization- resulting in spirit world

    Radiant beings

    Wedded with a child with a higher being

    Booming sound and energy coming from a black object with children on it in the city centre

    Drilling sound next to and on my bed and at random times