Proserpina

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Posts posted by Proserpina

  1. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

     

    The highest score you received says you are - "A loyal, devoted, inspiring idealist

    Your highest purpose involves devotion to an ideal or cause. Below are some phrases that may give you more clarity. Pick and choose different words and create your own purpose or vision statement.

    To inspire others to offer their lives to the highest ideal

    To passionately live up to a high ideal or to a guru

    To totally love and give my all to some high ideal

    To fight for a cause for the good of many

    To attain the highest level of connection or devotion to someone or to an idea

  2. Posted

    Vision board

    04 Carbon Based Lifeforms - Nattväsen

    {Grown up girl}
    Many years ago, when I was a little girl, I found myself lost in the forest. Alone
    I felt a strange warm energy. Something was coming closer
    It guided me deeper into the forest
    And down under the ground

    {Chorus: Girl, repeated 4x}
    They were friendly creatures, not at all evil
    I followed then down underground
    This is my home now

    pandemic_by_irenhorrors_delvg0a-pre.jpgchimera_by_irenhorrors_ddqr5q2-fullview.jpgluna_and_thestrals_by_irenhorrors_d7ynlmv-fullview.jpg

    the_scarlet_flower_by_irenhorrors_ddrnrgl-pre.jpg

  5. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

     

    God and not God : 

    God -  Stage Green  (deactivated, right soil for God realization)

    God Becomes Not God - integrated stage orange, God realization. (Activated)

    Not God - Stage orange

    Not God becomes God - transmission, integrated stage green

    Excess womanness/manness - lack of God realization/transmission 

    Zen/Love - God realization/transmission

    .

    God and Love :

    STS and STO. Trying to get STS to be STO. 

    Growing up correlated with/ leads to waking up

    STO includes or leads to transmission/realization. 

    Spiral dynamics analysis: 

    Love - Feminine Stages, bias

    God - Masculine Stages, bias

    STS - Stage Red

    STO - Stage Green

    Integrated God and Love - Tier 2, Spiral wizard

    Awakening - Growing up leading to waking up

  7. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    Healing will result in my return to yellow. I went back one-two space due to damage sustained from psychosis. But I'll rise back up. You can't actually go backwards for forever, eventually you heal.  

    .

    "Fill your core with Love. Its easier to sustain forgiveness, acceptance and unconditional love if you are already full." - My version of Stage Yellow.  

    "Radiating love you'll already be your ideal self so it won't matter what others think of you."

    .

    There's so many downsides to a public journal.  It puts me in pain,  for one.  I just want a place I can keep track of my notes without losing them like I always do, lol.  But then I feel this need to be better, to do better.  It's painful.  I'm trying to mind my own business and keep notes, however amateur.

  8. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    I have intense chemistry with NTs as an ISFP.  Particularly INTJ and ENTJ as we share the same functions. I tend to find SFs boring.  Opposites attract and birds of a feather flock together.  

    ISFP sp are: 

    Mellow

    Honest

    Quiet

    Rebellious

    Anti mainstream

    Fearful

    Famous ISFP

    images (37).jpegbritney_spears_____baby_one_more_time_by_daekazu_dambojl-pre.jpgmarilyn_by_fantasio_d8qft56-fullview.jpg

  9. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    Self service and transmission is not separate ime. When your type matures into 'me', yellow masculine, the spiritual dimension opens up. Ego falls away.  

    Turquoise is when the spiritual dimension really opens up. 

    .

    The Mystical experience was very revealing as to my own personal path.  Although I'm sure it would help many people at green.  

    This is only my path.  My path is deeply, deeply lopsided for some reason, so when I honour the self I transcend. 

    Ime transmission and STO is not separate. When you polarize you transcend, when you honour the self you transcend. Law of One says the next dimension is accessed through polarization, I think.  You graduate this dimension. Stage Green and Yellow is mastery.  

    You transcend due to God realization and due to honouring the self when you honour the self.  

    .

    Spiral dynamics or the like already covers all of this: 

    - growing up vs waking up (transmission vs Polarization)

    - polarization: Stage Green

    - God and Love: Stage green and Stage yellow

    - Me vs We : Self and Other

    - importance of the feminine: Stage Green

  12. Posted

    Here from the king's mountain view
    Here from the wild dream come true
    Feast like a sultan, I do
    On treasures and flesh never few

    But I, I would wish it all away
    If I thought I'd lose you just one day

    The devil and his had me down
    In love with the dark side I'd found
    Dabblin' all the way down
    Up to my neck, soon to drown
    But you changed that all for me
    Lifted me up, turned me round

    So I
    I
    I
    I
    I would
    I would
    I would
    Wish this all away

    Prayed like a martyr dusk to dawn
    Begged like a hooker all night long
    Tempted the devil with my song
    And got what I wanted all along

    But I
    And I would
    If I could
    And I would
    Wish it away
    Wish it away
    Wish it all away
    Wanna wish it all away
    No prize that could hold sway
    Or justify my giving away my center

    So if I could I'd wish it all away
    If I thought tomorrow would take you away
    You, my peace of mind, my all, my center
    Just trying to hold on one more day

    Damn my eyes!
    Damn my eyes!
    Damn my eyes if they should compromise the fulcrum
    Wants and needs divide me then I might as well be gone

    Shine on forever
    Shine on benevolent sun
    Shine down upon the broken
    Shine until the two become one

    Shine on forever
    Shine on benevolent sun
    Shine down upon the severed
    Shine until the two become one

    Divided, I'll wither away
    Divided, I'll wither away
    Shine down upon the many
    Light our way, benevolent sun

    Breathe in union
    Breathe in union
    Breathe in union
    Breathe in union
    Breathe in union
    So as one survive
    Another day and season
    Silence, legion, save your poison
    Silence, legion, stay out of my way

  13. Posted

    It's fine.  As long as it's not forced onto the individual for years against their will unless in extreme cases.  I think it is counterproductive to their healing and adaptation and essentially places a bandaid on the issue. 

    I can't feel emotions like I used to.  It's blunted.  It's very frustrating. I also feel as if my freedom has been taken away from me and my spiritual gifts have been taken from me as a result of the emotional blunting.  

  15. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    My partner says I made a mistake publicly journalling that. Except I don't want to be embarrassed or ashamed.  It was what got me through a hellish experience but no one will believe me of course and everything shifted to where it never happened.  Sexuality has a way of shifting higher dimensions.  So I did that.  Strange men in black who I didn't know but apparently knew me took me so it resulted in that.  

    "Extreme times call for extreme measures"

    It was like a ritual.  

    .

    God and Love was basically a message forced out of me with a gun to my head.  So of course it wasn't going to be channeled properly even if I had assisting forces. 

    'God' is a type of way of accessing Self Realization through transmission or 'Love', a self realized person. 'Love',  or a self realized person,  transmits 'God' or self realization.

    .

    God and Love was also STO (God and Love) and STS (God). 

    I combined it. Because it looked fuzzy and I was unwell. In that way I didn't channel properly. I didn't create a duality of God realization and consciousness. 

    God and Love was transmission (NOT consciousness and God realization)

    God and Love was STS and STO

    .

    Possible analysis:

    An avatar leans forward naturally and its mirror leans back.  When the avatar leans back it pulls on the duality and the mirror acts a certain way or leans forward,  when the mirror leans forward and the avatar leans back the spirit world is seen.  It is on the same frequency as that calibration.  Avatar is in a relationship with the human world.  It is a mirror of human relationships.   Avatar is feminine,  mirror is masculine.  

    It may be that the extra dimension is accessed because of right action and mastery.  

    Goddess worship and the feminine is still a key component to all of this. 

    .

    The beings told me they were forcing me to sleep. The next dimension and this dimension are melded, they aren't so separate. What happens, what mastery is obtained in this dimension, impacts the next dimension. 

    Leaning back/chakra work and transmission occur simultaneously.

    You have to keep up leaning back/realization for a time (especially if you're medicated like me) to see the next dimension. Enjoy the process.  

    .

    I've lost my capacity to think/ visualize/ concentrate which was the backbone of my practice due to illness so now I have to find other ways. 

    So far I've found: 

    I am that meditation

    Mindfulness of the self meditation

    Short spurts meditation

    Relying on realization meditation (blank object or very gentle visualization/ concentration meditation)

    .

    Green - avatar leaning forward

    Yellow - matured avatar, leaning back

    Turquoise - when spirit sweeps you up. 'Vortex sucks you up from hopefulness'

    .

    My partner typed me as (ISFP or INTJ):

    extraverted Sensing (Se)     **************************  (26.1)

    average use

     

    introverted Sensing (Si)     *************************  (25.3)

    average use

     

    extraverted Intuiting (Ne)     *********************************  (33.2)

    good use

     

    introverted Intuiting (Ni)     **********************************************  (46.2)

    excellent use

     

    extraverted Thinking (Te)     ********************  (20.9)

    limited use

     

    introverted Thinking (Ti)     ******************************  (30.1)

    good use

     

    extraverted Feeling (Fe)     **************  (14.6)

    unused

     

    introverted Feeling (Fi)     ********************************************  (44.2)

    excellent use

    .

    Green to yellow

    Empath to super empath

    STO  to mature STO

    Anxious to Anxious- avoidant

    Love to God and Love

    Attached to attached-detached

    . 

    God and Love is polarization + maturity or self service. 

    But polarization has to come first. Stage Green. Priority. 

    Self service or 'narcissist'-empath is stage Yellow. In my system. 

    Stage Green in my system is deeply self sacrificing. Stage yellow is your reward in heaven.  

    .

     

  16. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    Major things I've gained/learnt/sorted through from journalling: 

    God realization (I had a proper realization that I am God)

    Life purpose

    STO, STS: Self and Other, Law of one, super empath etc. 

    Benefits of medication

    Alignment with God eases trauma

    Sorting through psychosis and trauma and my mum's death

    God and Love was a mistake and correct (Law of One, it worked and led to God realization). Both. Learning from my mistakes so I can be better next time.  

     

  17. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    The Law of One talks about this.....

    The next dimension is like the dimension of higher selves who are awake/half awake. There are extra layers of reality. I'm saying this because it explains why people are 'crazy'. There are higher dimensions they are accessing. It requires God realization. It is a result of God realization and transmission.  The entities in these higher dimensions are not always pleasant.  

    . 

    The True Self creates a gap between thoughts, less identification.  Less bothered by identification, less stickiness, more distance. Rooted in abundance. Increase in wisdom and rationality.  

    "Eckhart says it’s more important to be aware of oneself as presence than to get lost in the mind. With practice, gradually the spaces between thoughts increase and more spaciousness grows within. This will cause our lives to become more peaceful and move us closer to a feeling of liberation."

  20. Posted

    5 hours ago, AndylizedAAY said:

    @Proserpina I think I somehow lost that ability, what do you mean by the divine?

    It's what is here. It is reality.  Happiness. Beauty. 

    I mean I don't always 'see' the divine in the foreground.  But I can bring it to the foreground. It's how I got through 'psychosis'. It dissolved everything immediately.  

  21. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    I think appreciation or gratitude is the best prescription.  We take for granted what is right here.  Psychedelics help us to appreciate but also it can make people attached to a peak state.  Not realizing that what is here is more than enough if we don't take it for granted.  Psychedelics unlocked my spiritual gifts, so of course I appreciate them too.  After the first hit though, I recieved what I needed to recieve. 

    In other words,  it can create the wrong attitude conducive to enlightenment.  

     

     

  22. Posted

    Sometimes I can't relate to others not seeing the divine because I've seen it my entire life,  since I was 7 and had the ability to. So I speak as if it's easy or something natural.  To me,  its seeing what is right in front of your face. 

    I mean I don't have a million insights (I'm not wired that way) but I see the divine.  

  23. Posted · Edited by Proserpina

    7 hours ago, Nilsi said:

    Kinda. But in practice this is not really useful advice. I think the 10 Ox Herding Pictures should be a good orientation.

    True, true. That's just my experience. I was really just talking to myself,  reminding myself.  Sometimes I forget.  

    Sometimes I can't relate to others not seeing the divine because I've seen it my entire life,  since I was 7 and had the ability to. So I speak as if it's easy or something natural.  To me,  its seeing what is right in front of your face.