Proserpina

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Everything posted by Proserpina

  1. I've been properly meditating for quick 1 minute snatches of time. It's easier for me to concentrate that way if I know it is only for a short amount of time each time. Besides 'a small light repels a great darkness'; one minute of proper meditation can repel or cause the cessation of a huge amount of ignorance and immaturity whether in myself or in others. I want to stabilize into higher spiral dynamic stages than I am already at. But mostly I've found I've been maturing in my attitude toward meditation. I don't do it to get somewhere as much anymore but rather I do it for the sake of it. A value for Truth.
  2. The Difference I think the higher you go in development the more you get comfortable with delving into the unknown and making mistakes along the way. Those lower down on the spiral are less comfortable with the unknown. They need everything figured out. Those higher up in development kinda stumble around in the dark grasping their light of Truth, making a way in the darkness. Whereas those lower in development hold onto their maps mistaking them for a light source as the darkness closes in around them. Changing stories I have this issue where I rapidly change stories for explanations from psychosis to energetic readings to 'aftermaths'. They all ring true at the time. One of the core themes of my writings is healing from trauma and I'll take any contemplation or crutch along the way to get there. I want to use this healing space to express my emotions fully, to be authentic, to be transparent, to scream, to cry, and to do anything that is required of me to heal. Dark Vision I had a dark vision that I was all alone in the dark (yet again) except for my spirituality. I had been abandoned. My only refuge was Spirit. Hell surrounded me on all sides. It told me that unless I moved in the direction of Spirit now, this would be my fate. I would be forced to face Spirit one day. Stolen Away The vision was mostly a hellscape with spirit and oneness at the center to steal me away in the night, like a Greek God of sorts. The underworld would symbolize this hellscape that God (the Gods, Hades) would steal me into so as to finally face my final resurrection from my darkness, arising to the light as I swear my allegiance to God and Hades. 'Six months' of each year I am stolen away to re-remember.
  3. ExTx types I have been taken advantage of and bullied by many ExTx types in the past. They have a way of pushing you into a corner and then kinda 'making' you surrender to them. You will try to appease them, because you are vulnerable and they are strong, usually. You feel unsafe and vulnerable. And when sometimes the ExTx types (in the past they have) take advantage of that position I'm in I feel especially unsafe and uncomfortable. I mean a part of me is programmed to like it. A part of survival. Stockholm syndrome or something. To like your captor. disclaimer: not talking about Joseph. The Alpha My entire life my best friend has been the alpha (pure yang). I had the realization that I was an alpha as well, the feminine or yin equivalent, in one of my mystical experiences. Which just means I'm over 80% yin, despite my emotional regulation. The alpha (pure yang) and I (pure yin) share a soul bond, in combination with a spiritual connection and it is fire. Underappreciated The above post may seem simplistic but actually, it goes deep. The feminine is essentially underappreciated by this so-called alpha (should be called a beta, no offense betas). They are old, ancient friends, these archetypes. She is his heart and soul and home. She is a 'king who forgot her crown' and in his acknowledging presence, she remembers, it cascades into all her interactions. He is her missing key. If he would only recognize her, which he rarely does. ISFP vs INFP I could be a limited INFP or an ISFP. It could be either interpretation. It's honestly very difficult to tell. I relate to the intuitive nature of the INFP. I kind of make things up on the spot and brainstorm in a similar fashion as an INFP but my cognition is not up to scratch, physically. I have an illness. I come from certain genetic material. Whereas I do also relate to ISFP as well. I don't chase down and absorb naturally theory in a similar fashion as other intuitives. Perhaps my nature is more indicative of a sensorish tendency, I like to live in the moment. I like to be spontaneous. That is a hallmark of my personality. Breaking of the illusion I remember the illusion would break during my mystical experiences every single time I would be one on one with an individual or close in that kind of nature (small group setting). The spell would break and 'we' would come to our senses, whether subconsciously or consciously (on my end). Perhaps their radiance wouldn't wholely cease but mine certainly would and I would return to the human realm, return back to 'rags' from riches. Gift Being a pretty dumb person on the path who knows almost no theory, I was gifted with the spirituality that I have from birth. But I have to 'exercise' it (synchronicity) with meditation. The presence of God will leave unless you care for it. It goes to the background. Sometimes I think God chooses the dumb and lacking to teach the strong and intelligent humility. "But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty". Voices I'm not sure how to write this. My intuition picks up on the Oneness behind all forms and forms a translation of that behind each form, what I call 'voices'. Voices are a translation of Oneness. I am translating it with intuition. It is the closest representation, approximation, and formation of Oneness.
  4. @KH2 At least he is a gentleman and has respect for women.
  5. @KH2 You literally told her she was low IQ. You have no respect for women. You've done this to me as well. Please don't pretend like you are the innocent party. Please stay away from her.
  6. Deconstruction work means to deconstruct the dream to where you realize reality to be a dream using either the feminine or masculine, intuition or intellect, respectively. Deconstruction happens automatically as a result of spirit. You don't have to try just means intuition is a fruit of the spirit in the sense that it results from communion with God and that intuition, the feminine, can be used for deconstruction work in conjunction with intellect, the masculine. You can use contemplation work for deconstruction. That would be using the intellect, the masculine. Or you can rely on your intuition. Ideally, you would be using both. The masculine and the feminine as they work with each other, not over and against each other. Surrender I have one 'downside' (it has pros and cons) trait which I picked up from my mystical experiences which is suggestibility. It's difficult to describe, but I am easily 'hypnotized', I bend easily, and I melt easily. I am sweet and open and melting in the palm of your hand. I was taught to SURRENDER. Completely and utterly. Distractions Unless wild horses couldn't stop me and I'm having psychic green lights I won't be using my 'sword of truth' in the future. It's the ultimate and last distraction by the ego as far as I'm concerned. Beginner's path stuff. It's a distraction. I know it in my heart. I'm not going there anymore. I don't feel good. This is not the kind of person I want to be. Anything that you have to clear as a 'barrier' to the spiritual path then is NOT a distraction. The monk lighting himself on fire. Its all a distraction from my spiritual path. I have to be single-minded. Spiritual Compatibility Spiritual compatibility, even in friendship, will turn that relationship otherworldly. I've experienced this compatibility during mystical experiences and you both aren't 'human' anymore. You both become many different kinds of archetypes (the feminine taps into the mother, the wife, and the maiden). It taps you into what I call the well-being of the collective and you both glow with radiance like no other, especially the masculine, a radiance like a lion's mane. . In my experience, there was only one major instance when I had to pick up my sword directly when wild horses couldn't stop me. There have minor instances but no major instances like that. The collective will notify you basically through premonitions and sharp energies that something isn't right and needs to be balanced by the 'Word'. The aftermath wasn't pretty. Definitely, it won't look like you are in alignment on the outside in the aftermath. During it, you will feel in alignment. You'll be stripped of your power. Using the 'Masculine' or the sword is brutal. Always make sure you are doing it inspired by spirit because the aftermath isn't worth it otherwise. Otherwise, you can shift the collective in the background through concealed energy work. A more feminine approach with the 'Word'. Depending on what spirit is inspiring you to do. Witness The feminine is surrendering, she gives herself up. She is melting in the palm of your hand. When all is said and done. Masculine can take advantage of that fact. He will shut down displays of vulnerability and transparency, or ignore it entirely and plaster his preaching, bulldozing her into oblivion.
  7. @thisintegrated Astral sex makes sense. I remember sitting down in my garden feeling um...penetrated. On another level. By a woman. It transcended gender and gender roles. But it was holy and sacred, I was a wife and mother. And she was a divine masculine. I remember being on my knees at her radiance. Such was her authority.
  8. You have to become aware of how you make people feel. Sometimes it's not good.
  9. I have no idea what you mean by this. But I'm pretty sure I'm not interested in finding out more either. Please keep comments like this out of my journal. It's disruptive. If you ever get a job I wouldn't be surprised if you get busted for sexual harassment.
  10. In my experience, there was only one time when I had to pick up my sword directly when wild horses couldn't stop me. The collective will notify you basically through premonitions and sharp energies that something isn't right and needs to be balanced by the 'Word'. The aftermath wasn't pretty. Definitely, it won't look like you are in alignment on the outside in the aftermath. During it, you will feel in alignment. You'll be stripped of your power. Using the 'Masculine' or the sword is brutal. Always make sure you are doing it inspired by spirit because the aftermath isn't worth it otherwise. Otherwise, you can shift the collective in the background through concealed energy work. A more feminine approach with the 'Word. Depending on what spirit is inspiring you to do.
  11. @Loba I agree. I've been realizing a similar thing through trial and error recently. Put down the sword unless wild horses couldn't stop me and spirit is guiding me there. Focus on my own inner work. Build up those around me.
  12. Bingo. Intuition is right on. Spiritual compatibility, even in friendship, will turn that relationship otherworldly. I've experienced this compatibility during mystical experiences and you both aren't 'human' anymore. You both become many different kinds of archetypes (the feminine taps into the mother, the wife, and the maiden). It taps you into what I call the well-being of the collective and you both glow with radiance like no other, especially the masculine, a radiance like a lion's mane.
  13. Focus Background triggers Regular meditations No Archetype idolization Note to self: Intuition told me 10 minutes every 4 hours of intense meditation is the magic ticket. More frequently if I can.
  14. Beautiful read! Thank you. ❤️ Surrendering is a non-doing that can sink into every facet of who you are. Influencing every facet of who you are. For example, my personality has been deeply inexplicably influenced by it. You surrender on every level.
  15. The sword of the truth is but one archetype that can come forth from channeling, there are many other archetypes that can come forth as a result of channeling. Channeling is multidimensional and complex. I've been focusing too much on one archetype and not on channeling itself, which is a mistake I think. I want to use the sword of truth only if wild horses couldn't stop me and I'm receiving psychic green lights. Otherwise, it's just all distraction.
  16. I hadn't connected it to Ti before. Hm. It is a value for truth above all else. Self-sacrificing. That could be linked to Te or Ti. The Sword of Truth The Sword of Truth zeros in on certain values (truth) at the expense of other values you may hold. Whether or not it is 'right' to zero in on certain values at the expense of others is up for debate. The blade cuts through swiftly this way, with very little in the way, just a clean cut. Highly focused. It might look clumsy. Socially unaware. It may even look malevolent, but if you look closely if it comes from a pure place, you'll see it. It cleans up energies that need cleaning up.
  17. I think we need a Razard Appreciation Thread.
  18. @Galyna If you had already read the thread you would recognize that I've surrendered. You don't need to further question me, nor wave my 'lack of awakeness' in my face. I'm trying to create conflict resolution. You can place all the entire blame on me if you want to, that's up to you. In my eyes, this entire discussion has been a success if this is the full extent of my 'triggering'.
  19. "Descending (self-immanence) is the downward drive towards earth, into the world of many manifestations and the body. Descenders celebrate life and its many forms, the body, and their sexuality. They go with the flow, are in touch with the richness of the manifest world, and experience things from the fullness of existence by diving in deep. Descending is also characterized as “the love that reaches down” (Agape), embracing everything—including earth and all its inhabitants—with selfless compassion and devotion. Descending energy expresses itself through feelings, empathy, emotions, warmth, movement, surrender, fullness, and flow. A descender perceives the world from the inside. Healthy descending means to be connected with and sensitive to the richness and fullness of the world, to be down-to-earth and in touch with one’s body, feelings, emotions, and sexuality. Unhealthy descending means to be overwhelmed, fused with, and run by the many details of life and its manifestations, feelings, earthly desires, and needs. The fear of descenders is to lose touch, to get lost, or to be dissociated from the fullness of life and its forces (Thanatos)"
  20. @integral Interesting analysis, integral. Thank you. Yes, I think there are different paths, feminine and masculine, and it may be causing the 'conflict' in this situation at an almost unconscious level. I was trying to surface it.
  21. @Galyna This is just the energy I'm picking up from his post. I'm not going to sit here and play 'nice' and submissive. His post even plays up the importance of not playing 'nice'. Its called the sword of truth, not necessarily projection, that may be projection on your part, or it may be truth on your part. You'll have to decide on that. At the end of the day, we have to go home and decide for ourselves what is and isn't true for ourselves. I don't think anybody here is going to change anything unless they realize it for themselves. Most people on here are spiritually entrenched and assuming the role of teacher with student in their shadow. All any of us can do is present our own point of view and leave whatever happens after that to fate. I do think he has the feminine in his shadow but I'm not going to shove this down anybody's throat. I said it, I stand by it and if it helps, great, if not then feel free to pass on it.
  22. If the vulnerability and transparency of the feminine is going to be demonized on this forum as lack of self-love, I give up. If the masculine wants to pretend that his lack of vulnerability is above and superior to the feminine's display then go right ahead. I guess that's the 'red pill'. Sorry that the feminine is trying her best to explore her inner innards which isn't exactly easy. The masculine gets to sit back and criticize her, telling her she needs to go to therapy for being vulnerable and transparent. It's not right.
  23. @Tyler Robinson I understand what you are saying and I agree. I was just saying that I like him too. I was just sharing the entire picture of the situation, not trying to appease to his ego necessarily. The entire picture of the situation (imo) is that he is a good guy sometimes whose intuition is grossly off the mark and ego has gone off the rails at times. He has a lot of potential.
  24. He's very likable. He's like a sponge, open-minded, sharp, loving, insightful, and truthful. Love you Razard ❤️