Proserpina

Thank you for sharing this ♥

Healing My stomach pain disappeared ever since my discovery and practices. I can feel wellness flowing through my body. Body flows wellness when it is not blocked and is thriving. Anyone who knows LOA knows this is significant for manifestation. Explodes with a golden light, body and mental spheres are transformed. Lit on fire. Beautiful energies. All healing and manifestation and awakening takes is being held with Love. Jesus practiced his knowing of their wellness Healing and manifestation is also tied to awakening. It stems from God realization. 'I am that'. Understanding who you are in your full glory. It radiates outwards into the body etc.

@Fearey I'd like to think that's the case but I have too many examples in RL that is contrary to that, that have low abundance/IQ and are shallow aholes. I was born with the abundance of my mother and I've always reaped the benefits, just as my Dad's low abundance has hindered me in my growth and reaped only hindrances.

Usually. People with lower IQs are given less opportunities to move up the spiral in a way, poverty etc. I guess suffering from having a low IQ can move you up. But are you suffering? Ignorance is bliss. Moving up the spiral equates to abundance and some suffering, something high IQ people have.

" 80.11 Questioner: Could I say, then, that implicit in the process of becoming adept is the possible partial polarization towards service to self because simply the adept becomes disassociated with many of his kind or like in the particular density which he inhabits? Ra: I am Ra. This is likely to occur. The apparent happening is disassociation whether the truth is service to self and thus true disassociation from other-selves or service to others and thus true association with the heart of all other-selves and disassociation only from the illusory husks which prevent the adept from correctly perceiving the self and other-self as one" So Love realization is a part of service to other. I didn't get that wrong. . I'm still debating Steve Pavlina's version. I think it might be wrong because my very first vision had no self dominant. Might be a distortion. Self dominant was immature during first mystic state, the other was mature and could change self dominant. My third and fourth vision there was no self and other dominant, only STS and STO, STS ultimately being less mature. STO other dominant was immature aswell. STO self dominant or other dominant are not properly polarized.

Notes: - I'm getting synchronicities very frequently now. It's building up. - All describing the same territory: Paradox effect, Narcissism - empath, Runner - chaser, STO STS , Masculine feminine. -STO and STS goes into more detail. - Paradox effect or runner/chaser describes relationship best and the ideal outcome. Leaning forward purposefully. - HG Tudor's super empath describes STO in more detail in its development. - masculine and feminine shows the dynamic in every day interaction - I'm going to continue on with my observation that there is self dominant and other dominant STO and a STS. STS does not honour both other and self, self dominant STO does. Both are masculine, self dominant STO more balanced masculine than STS. Less extreme. Like stage red vs stage yellow masculine. - Paradox effect, runner/chaser, leaning back/ leaning forward is the feeling, it's not an action. It's the feeling of integration of Self and Other.

I think Law of One is correct. Integration of Self and Other. It lines up too closely with my experience. Not to mention there is an alien entity channeling the message. Very similar to my experience of an alien entity channeling the same message through me. It's so subtle, you can confuse it for other things. I confused integration for God realization (God) and God realization for integration (Love). It's a mistake I make again and again. I made the mistake while I was channeling, I'm bound to make the same mistake now that I'm not channeling. I got it wrong. Okay. So atleast I have that down. I have to study the ra material.

In the Lord of the Rings, the ring was destroyed when the fool was listen to, accepted, integrated and appreciated. Hobbits are youthful, ignorant, overlooked and underestimated, 'the fool'. The fool remains a fool (hobbit) until the very end, only they have been integrated and the strengths have come to fruition. Fool's Anthem

I used to self harm when I was young. I thought I could somehow claw the fool out of me. I still have some demonising (a type of self harm) tendencies. No matter how how much I clawed I could never get it out until I clawed so hard one day I learnt the value of acceptance inadvertently. In mastering your inner fool through acceptance, you'll unlock a wealth of wisdom, kinda like how in the shadow hides creativity. You'll still be a fool but a wise fool that walks with Being.

It is both a gift and a curse to have not knowing. The fool's path in life is to master the art of not knowing and to accept his disposition. In the tarot, the fool is an admirable card. Though his foolish ways push him soon off a cliff, he falls into the arms of his beloved, Being. Being will always catch him as he walks blindfolded into death. He is both the representative of those who are different and those who tear and rip at the blindfold with death incoming but cannot erase who they are. He knows their plight and he does not chastise but shows them the way out and into Being. "Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all." Beloved fools who are cared for

Being is always there when I need it most. In a way I still have many factors of 'psychosis' present. I'm treated vastly differently depending on time of month or other reasons. I'm just like in unbearable pain this time of month. What I'd like to work on in this journal: Easing the pain and mistreatment (mirror/loa) this time of month Amplifying the good Learning how to tune into Being again through practice and not just when I need it most Gratitude Practices Self expression (no matter how bad). Alignment Vision, Other Ways (polarization, mature STO, super empath, paradox effect- leaning back purposefully leaning forward, stayer, big 5, mastered not knowing etc.) . "My favourite part on the path: Being a beginner again. Forgetting it all. " 'Pretending' (to be not who I really am, insecure etc. Playful slant), secure, playful is the attitude I want to channel.

Self demonising, strange posts, other symptoms indicating I'm not well. I've decided there are two occasions when I become unwell, near when my depot is due and certain times of the month. I shouldn't write or be around people during those times. I notice that I take on a very similar state as when I'm in the depressive part of psychosis, there is a paranormal level amount of dislike I recieve from people, it's not natural.

100%

I have distinct sides to myself. An extraordinarily babyish feminine side and a serious masculine side. They are split off from eachother as separate personalities, although very rarely they unite. When they unite its a maturity that includes a softer yielding side. It's quite pleasant. It's easy to pathologize it, to say it's an aspect of my bipolar, Mania and sobriety/ mild depressive but I don't think that's quite right. It's more like the 'mania' is there to fully explore the Mystical, since it is tied to an otherworldly playfulness and pleasantness when on its own. That side of me is easily dismissed though, even though it's the more mystical side. The masculine gets taken more seriously.

Contrary to popular belief Infinite Love is not boring. God is endlessly vibrant and entertaining. It's like being with your crush for all eternity and you never fall out of love or lose infatuation. You don't care about the creation side of things, except that you want to see the beloved in more dimensions.

That's beautiful. I agree.

Okay, solutions..... 1. Better is okay. I have to drop perfection. I was chasing peak states. 2. Knowing I'm the jewel is enough. Just spend time reminding yourself of who you are. Small moments of seeing the jewel and then reminding yourself. 3. Trying is enough. Peak lifetimes come and go, they are temporary. You're tested on your love for Spirit during valley moments. 4. I still have access to strong sensations and preferences as entrances (not really). Just find entrances that people with chronic illness can find.

This is lovely. ♥

♥

"A being who is imbalanced in the direction of service-to-others will basically destroy their own vehicle. For example, in this particular density of what we call “incarnational experience,” you will see those who have an imbalanced striving towards service-to-others. They become martyrs of some kind. They try to bypass (for a very long time) everything that makes them tick, everything that empowers them, everything that gives them further strength and nourishment. And by doing so, they become martyrs. Ultimately, in some way, they severely detriment their own vehicle, and therefore lessen their ability to be of service to others. In some cases, they eliminate the bodily vehicle altogether through, say, rash action in service to others. Sometimes this can be very balanced and aligned; it can come from one’s thematic experience. But often, it is an overcompensation for believing that other beings do not have their own journeys and their own Higher Selves that are also taking care of them. We have to find a really good balance between Love and Wisdom. (I will talk about this a little bit more in a later lesson in this chapter.)" Bentinho Massaro

Mature STO are super empaths (narcissist empaths) Immature STO are normal empaths STS are narcissists THIS goes into the territory I speak of. Another angle. You don't have to jump through hoops to honour the self and become a super empath. Just polarise and lean back. Apply love from intense concentration. You give yourself the love you shower on others. I love yous to yourself- Matt Kahn. The silent guardian, the watchful protector, the dark knight (super empath)

Lost a post. Restate. STS leans back Immature STO leans forward Mature STO leans forward and back What the energy looks like. . Honouring the self results in leaning back. Honouring the other results in leaning forward. . STS can't really lean back through self love because that would require that they are leaning- forward- oriented. So they rely on others. Like narcissists rely on empaths

Importance of honouring the self: - You are heard by STS or mirror. Your words carry more weight. - Empathy with STS or mirror - The subtle shift in dynamics socially, you go from being a child (partner calls it stage purple) to an adult - You respect yourself so you are respected in response - Your energy changes . Grimes - matured STO, self dominant (masculine) Maynard - matured STO, other dominant (feminine) Different preferences within a main preference. There are different levels of mature too. When I'm mature, I'm matured STO, self dominant (masculine)

Someone awakened breathes life. This doesn't breathe life.