yetineti

First— I will not hurt myself. I have never self harmed and I am actively trying to take better care of myself. Second— I am tired and will likely not respond until tomorrow. It is late here. I will vent my situation and will be open to advice. Ultimately, I am not happy with myself and beat myself up. I tell myself I know what to do and when it does not work out or I find no motivation I throw a fit. — I am a control freak and I do not even know what I am controlling. I completely disassociated years ago. I smoke too much weed. I had purpose with my family as a teenager in a Devilish sense I could only have imagined. I sacrificed my own sanity to maintain sanity. Acting as my parents own psuedo parents, babying them through their decisions in scenarios where I was given responsibility and no control. Living alone now, for a couple of years, I am burnt out. My systems suck. I am impatient. I catastrophize. — I bounce between relativism, absolute certainty, intellectual understanding, hypersensitive feeling, complete not knowing.. — I bounce between deep emotional attachment and what comes across as ruthlessness. I view caring as stupid. Emotion attachment is stupid. Yet I overextend myself to others to the point of vomit. — And I worry about people in my life right now. I chose solitude the best I could young. I had an intuitive fear as a kid that one day I’d stand embarrassed, in front of the whole world. It almost feels like that. Watching loved ones fade while I remain skeptical of my own perspective and attachments, responsibilities, rationals, etc. — I overthink. — I am afraid to share my circumstances. I worry my attachment is a weakness. — Dad is unwell, low funds, suicidal, ‘reaching that point.’ — I am a control freak. I have not found my purpose. I have no purpose. — Loneliness. — Bad foundation. — Optimistic. — I meddle in others lives, elegantly. I have long lost the line of intent. I understand now, why, and my responsibility it remains. — Had results in numerous domain. No progress. I feel the difference. Beginners luck. — Lazy. — Cynic. — Spiral. — I should meditate— a lot (what kind?). Quit/greatly reduce weed intake. Stop catastrophizing and calm down. — “You know, I know this steak doesn't exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize? Ignorance is bliss.” — I don’t know what that quote has to do with anything and I post all of this at risk of seeming insane. I am comfortable with that. I am not comfortable in general though. — Absorb. Purge. Absorb… — Reality is madness.

😂😂😂😂😂

@Leo Gura You are more provocative in your methods than I ever would’ve imagined. You should have a degree in Experience Engineering.

Why use the term ‘God’ at all? Why not just say ‘Everything?’ You are Everything. I am Everything. Everything is an Endless Love Dream, etc. @Leo Gura

I use AI quite extensively, actually. I have used it for diet and supplements, for example. I find I am willing to tell it height, weight, etc. I will also explain specific situations and see what it thinks as well. I am just weary of it being centralized, like with a journal, or accidentally giving personal information, etc. It also struggles with such large context awareness like you may be wanting, at least with out custom models or additional funding.

AI can be a gift or a curse. It will not make a good commonplace journal/journal. It’s memory is poor, it would depend which AI you use, data issues, no real back up for data, no file management system or custom organization, etc. There is also epistemic consequences that have to be considered for such a thing. Be careful giving your sovereignty to anything, especially an AI. Do not give AI any personal data, remain vague, avoid using qualifying information/information that could build too personal of a data log on you, etc. Always use a VPN and encrypted emails or burner emails that do not have your name/qualifying information in them. — If you can do that, AI will be great. I’d highly recommend ChatGPT and even ChatGPT+ for $20 a month. You get a very liberal amount of usage time and if you can remain anonymous enough it can provide some great contemplation and insights. — You do not even have to protect your privacy to the extent I do— mainly I do not think it would make a great commonplace journal. Its format is not suited for that. — For a commonplace journal, I used to use a 2010s version of OneNote. I had to buy it from Germany, though, and I think it probably is not sold anymore. I do not trust new, cloud, serviced writing applications. I like having personal backups and data privacy. — I once heard, ‘If all you tell is the Truth, you won’t have to remember a thing.” I do not remember where I heard that. But I ended up living by it, maybe more than I’d like to admit. — I use reminders, ‘vent’ journal, leave myself notes, save documents or charts on my phone, have a calendar, etc. But really the idea of a commonplace is a knowledge catalogue, in my interpretation. It’s obviously more than that as well. Which is why I do not like to put my eggs all in one basket. I have already done that with my self. — If all I tell is the Truth, I won’t have to remember a thing. — I have no need to recite numbers or facts. When I contemplate something, it is either understood or it is not. I am either right or I am wrong. The answers may change or they may not. — I find the process around a commonplace book highly engaging, fun and practical regardless of whether there is actually a commonplace book itself haha.

Which were you?

In order to leave a country and live somewhere else easily and comfortably, people usually have to have at least one of these traits: a) Highly socially adaptable b) A job offer c) Family ties d) Wealthy e) Retired f) Fleeing crisis g) Specialized skills or education h) Government sponsorship or diplomatic status i) Marriage or partnership j) Student status k) Asylum or refugee status l) Investor or entrepreneur visas

@oldhandle I’m not arguing that America is better than Europe. I’m saying leaving out of fear and emotion isn’t a strategic decision. If you think things were bad, the burden is on you to explain why leaving was necessary for you. Otherwise, it was just reacting out of fear, not making a thoughtful decision. — Are you actually looking for a discussion, or just for people to agree with you? If the goal was to debate leaving vs. staying, wouldn’t you be making the case for why leaving was necessary instead of expecting everyone else to justify staying? It seems like you’re looking for validation.

@oldhandle Sarcasm isn’t an argument, and exaggeration isn’t evidence. If you think leaving is the only rational choice, then make the case for it. Otherwise, all you’re proving is that this is just fear and emotions masquerading as strategy.

So standing firm and handling things rationally is ‘cucked,’ but running away at the first sign of trouble isn’t? Interesting logic. Definitionally, leaving a place due to fear or instability is fleeing—I used that word correctly. I never said it makes someone a traitor; that was added by yourself. Yes, moving to another country is a privilege. If you have that privilege but choose to stay— it means you see value in staying. And if you have that privilege and do not understand how it is a privilege that is called being ungrateful. If you also think exercising that privilege to leave is a necessity rather than a choice, you’re just panicking and acting entitled to said panic instead of standing your ground and being strategic about your positioning and actions. If you moved halfway through the Biden administration or feel like you need to move now— that is by definition fleeing. And if that made sense to you, you would’ve made a point instead of dismissing me. — Biden’s economy could be expensive. It also took awhile to recover. But it was nothing like 2008 or other examples. If you make over $34,000 a year you’re in the top 1% of the world. People will always complain, run, justify, dismiss. Nobody wants to sit still and deal with any of it. @oldhandle

@Socrates Running isn’t a strategy, it’s a reaction. Staying where I am is the least risky thing I could do and the most fiscally sound.

@Jodistrict I wish this was obvious to Americans. They all sound so ungrateful. Like you said, they won’t move. And I won’t either. Because there is not a better system than America. There is no obvious 2nd option. Everybody talks about leaving the US. Nobody tells you where they’d go. If there was a better system to exploit, Americans would be exploiting it already. — And for the millionth time, everyone, it costs money to leave. How spoiled of you to even be able to decide what country to live in!

@Socrates If you have the option to leave, you are not in a fascist state. At least not an effective one.

@Emerald 90% of people still spend their time the same way they did 10 years ago. What does that tell you? We’re all insulated. It sounds like you have biases of your own, having to deal with the issues around Medicaid and your husband that you described. I would not want to be in your shoes. But I wouldn’t say I’m overly privileged either. I am a white male, but I live alone and I am not rich and I don’t think I will be anytime soon. I have issues too. But I live alone. When the time to flee the country comes, there will be nothing between me and making that decision as I am the only one responsible for me. Most people are far from that. I am far from that. Never panic. If you live alone, you cannot afford too.

The US economy affected me was when I was seven years old and my dad was laid off for a while around 2008 for longer than usual. Otherwise, Scott Walker (Wisconsin) passed a right to work bill 10 years ago that affects a Union job I have now. However, it is more an issue of principle than a direct effect on my experience. COVID was big obviously. Nothing has really changed though. Especially compared to other countries and other standards of living. Like Leo said, war or major crash and I am screwed— but otherwise? There is a reason you can live life without ever engaging with politics. It doesn’t affect your life the way you think. Try going a week without politics and see what your real responsibilities are at the moment. Then go a week without water and notice any differences. — Sidenote — You guys started this topic, asking a question, and then just tell Leo he has no ground to give his input because you did not like his answer. If you moved halfway through the Biden administration or feel like you need to move now— you’re fleeing. You’re running away and your brain is being rotted by politics. In countries as bad as the ones you describe, your ability to leave is much lower. Your ability to leave is the insulation itself. Not staying. What are you afraid of, really?

Your father is a mental appearance. So is your Jesus and your path and your Religion. @gettoefl

There is always more.

I think you would have coasted past it more than you think. You’re smart. You just probably would throw fits like I do when you see people like yourself try to explain it away. I saw people buried in Christianity and I tried to have these debates— they go nowhere. But you’re doing it right— your way— your platform. I shouldn’t be so pessimistic. You do. Yes, I agree. As a young man in his 20s— I am the one who struggles with hate. Any advice on how to remain strong in your convictions against the devilry of someone like Trump without having it corrupt yourself on some level? Or do you have a brief re-hash on how one could frame such a situation in a healthy manner? It’s hard. Thank you for your work. You have. It’s confusing. But I understand. You are and I forget that. I do not know that I could ever understand and explain like you do. I think I can be patient and but have had to give patience up for some in my personal life for my own sanity. It can be too easy to become flustered hearing back and forth takes on some topics while holding my ground as a young man and being strong in my values. I am not trying to whine. You know it’s hard. I am in a constant battle of ‘Bad Trump’ — this is why he does it. ‘Bad Christian’s’— they don’t know any better.

@puporing So what is your goal?

Did you go to church for a decade? I swear I read a post of yours saying you never had a true affiliation with a religion. I did— against my will. You think I just sat there and ate it all up and now I’m bragging I am pure still? Who said I was the most woke person on the planet? You are legitimately the only person I have ever heard say that.. Teach me something and I will listen. I don’t even know how to respond to this. Is that the Christian or the North Korean’s fault? You have literally intervened in the past because I harassed Puporing over Christianity. I hate Christianity. But you hate Christians it seems. And maybe I cannot explain my point articulately— but I am more focused on understanding than explaining my every insight to someone. Maybe I should not have posted at all then. But in my eyes, you’re missing something. You do not know what it is like to be stupid, for example. Should a 7th grader be blamed for not completing his 8th grade homework? These people are slow and you critique their arguments. It is like explaining how you feel to a blind man using pictures. Or trying to teach a dog algebra. Debunk something— greater Or come at it differently maybe @Leo Gura

@puporing At the very least, you have a responsibility to speak using dialogue that is universal, if you claim to have the insights you do. Jesus is not a universal term. It is a controversial term. If you do not want to teach… you do not have to teach. But acting surprised every time you have this conversation will not get you anywhere and it makes people doubt you. You are obviously very intelligent. You still have to prove the rest. Leo taught me most of what I know on this stuff while I mowed lawn as a teenager. Leo was foundational for me. I invented Leo. See how this works? You’re not just causing misunderstandings to people who have gone deep here, you’re communicating in ways that display your own misunderstandings and use a 2000+ year controversial religion as a sort of proxy. Lose the proxy, gain credibility, you deserve it. I believe Jesus was your path. Time to make it your own.

@puporing Have you considered having those realizations alone, without Jesus?

@Nemra It’s deeper. They can not— and there is no reason for some 😳 and no way out. There’s a reason why some people have such strong religious takes towards God without formal indoctrination. God is inherent. Peoples take on him are not. People with less control hope. Consider hope as an intelligent survival strategy for some. This is not to say all they do is hope. Strangely, they may be good at something still. Or very caring… atypical to a rational mind or perspective.

@Leo Gura Yeah there’s no Christian ideology in me ha ha. They used to put me in special classes when I was five because I thought they were all retarded. Some of them actually are. That’s what you’re missing. Corruption can’t be causal when it is inherent. The space you are trying to fill with explanation is void. Reality cannot be void, sure. But it has voids. And one is the Christian mind. The true, good hearted, no grift, Christian. I’ll put it this way. They are so stupid that any devilry that they commit you should feel bad for like a dog you did not let out and has peed on your carpet.