well .... Second fail. share that I did not surrender this time neitherr. What mental mechanisms ... I returned home, weight this time 15, and while I was weighing it it seemed that I was weighing plutonium. that is not much surrender. later, feeling like a brave man who ventures into the unknown, instead of putting it in a pipe, I put it in two ... so I surrender in stages. then walk an hour to the perfect place, and meditate bla bla bla. I smoke a pipe and immediately I see that there is no surrender. I smoke the second one, and ufff I don't remember well but no. I don't remember fear or anything because I had the situation more controlled even than the previous time. Nothing, this is not about pretty places, or about meditating or increasing perception. is yes or no, that's it. there is no middle ground. for next time I hope I am not a crying kitty and take 18mg in one shot. I'm especially afraid of breathing, which is very strange, looks like I have to control the breathing and if I forget, I ll stop breathing. maybe with a friend looking couldn't be a bad idea neither. I think that with this you surrender for the molecule, not for the environment. now I pay the penalty for my cowardice. walking an hour with nausea and a cloud of flies around me, knowing that I did not. okay I will
