Breakingthewall

Thanks for read and understand, I really appreciate, I erase that history that I wrote before, irrelevant. The thing is to let it go, light, forget the weight of the histories. That infinite void is the fire of purification. It's great that I found, if not, I will be for ever a stupid sad ego

Hey, I just woke up at 4 am and I really think it is impossible to dare to go to infinite death. It is the most horrible cosmic horror. Much better if he could just die, not go to the eternal grave without escaping. My heart beats, no one can help me with this, my god, it's going to infinite hell. Did anyone have to face this shit? Maybe it's normal for everyone who tried 5 meo, it just takes more doses, but go there ... hahaha what a horrible unimaginable horror. The taste of death. It is infinite and there is no god there, just get lost forever in the infinite grave. Bah is fear, my fear and nothing else. Fear of infinity. But fear ... fear. I'm trembling friends. It is nothing that is possible to handle. If I surrender to this it is more than giving my life, it is' s I surrender my soul, more than everything. This is not a game no. I was never really afraid of death because I was never there, but now I was and I saw that it is infinite. The only reason to go there is because I know I have to go when I am really dead, so the cosmic infinite tomb is waiting for me. Empty. edit: well I know what is that fear and the answer: I have to go naked to the infinity. There was a small piece of me with me. Even a 0.1% of me can't go in. I have to humble my self and surrender my soul to the infinite nothing. Wtf. It's infinite. If were only a torture room of the middle age, ok, but the infinity ... I'm impure and I ve to purifier myself to go in the eternity. I hope I don't get sick or crazy if I go to that horror too many times. But it's normal, who said that to know God is easy? Fast food god? Only an hour in the middle of the day, enough to realize God? Well stupid, go in a tour for the infinite grave, maybe you learn a bit of respect.

Do you mean that the death, the void, isn't real, itsnt it? It's the absence on mind activity that creates the appearance of infinity, eternity? But at the end it's real in a sense too. Seems the most real thing I ever saw

Maybe 5 meo is the key for you too. It's the door of death Who knows, its possible that we can. Until we are in the truth, for me better not imagine. I have some realizations over all in the middle of the night after a 5 meo experience like I told. Was like: yes it is, but if you try to grab, the light get off. It's a place to stay, but if you leave, it's lost. Sound beautiful to accept the nothing like james123 said .for me it is an obligation. I am a miracle of existence, like all humans, and I find it a shame to waste who I am in shitty thoughts, I want to be what I have to be

Yes , that's why I keep going. Sure there is more to see. And the death is fascinating, even it's the most scary. Completely unimaginable

There is nothing to think, only increase the dose. It's not a work that I could do without 5 meo

You call it nothing, but same time singularity. And you remember it so you was . For me nothing is different, you are talking of a nothing that is, so god, the same than the spiritual masters said. Well, let's see if the next time.

Could be, if I'm facing that horrible shit again and again it's because I want to accept too, seems Impossible but more impossible is to stop

Ha ha and ha. Maybe you can't understand what I'm talking about. There is nothing, absence, you aren't there, no thought, no mind, only the perception of the nothing, but the nothing reveal as infinite, there are no words for it, and suddenly a certain: death, eternal void, zero, off, bye, let's die! For the eternity. No one is there to think anything that could be learned. Is your primordial being, before the words, facing the infinite void, where is nothing, and there is no escape. You are no thinking there, only a realization exist: horror This is the 5 meo party for me

The definition of absolute terror

Yeah, the ego wants to get better, the wonder, etc, but if you do 5 meo there is no way to control it , and without this work is almost Impossible for most of people. I wanted the wonder too and I found the infinite death ??

Now I have a great sensation, like...infinite, incredible...but Everytime I was there I remember another sensation not nice at all: death, absolute absence, horror. Maybe if I go 100 times to this terrorific infinite at the end im going to love as you said

What do you mean? That I read or listen of Leo is more or less that enlightenment is to realize that you are god, and God is nothingness, and same time everything, so the same that you are saying, or the same that all spiritual masters use to say

He looks very healthy and strong now. And in the pictures where he looked older maybe with a good hairdresser he d look better. But it's true that many enlightened masters died young

@James123 yes, let go the self. It's a total surrender to merge with that infinite nothing. Really scary, I can't imagine how it's possible without 5 meo. Even with it it seems really difficult to me, it's the most intense thing that I ever experienced, and it's not nice at all

He said that the people above 84 is not going to reincarnate... maybe he is enlightened, but he says a lot of bulshits

Source?

Yes , exactly. Maybe next time. The pure empty seems to me death, the point is that shouldn't be a "me", and even with a quite big dose the horror is still there. But embody the infinite? There is no one to embody , only infinite and death without return (seems like) Yes, I'm masochist and now I feel very good. Maybe because I'm not dead for now. And positive too because I think it's one step more to the real dissolution. For me seems very difficult

No one left to talk, was infinite , but still no total death. Maybe wasn't the moment. Serious thing

Where are the balls to dead? Let's see if I find them, maybe they are lost

the transcendence of the "i". placing oneself in the perpetual present beyond the mind that creates time

I was in the void recently, there was no one there, there was no reference, no god, no beauty or ugliness, it was an empty hole, the absence of something, terrifying when I appeared. I want to go there without psychedelics, because his purity is complete, I feel a huge atraction. the problem is that I and nothing cant live together. I'm trying to educate myself to agree to come to nothing , but no ... no one can come in, I have to wait outside. difficult, but it supposed is possible

Yes, getting used to emptiness is not an easy task, ego and emptiness are like two powerful magnets that repel each other. a point about illusion: for the human, everything is illusion, the world is a creation of your mind. maya is an empty hologram without substance. fine, but that doesn't mean it doesn't really exist! the point is that the multicolored mental image that forms in your mind from ... something, is that, a mental image. it doesn't really exist. That does not mean that when you look at a tree, the tree does not exist. the tree is, you are. your body is real. you want to call it "just a thought", "illusion" ok, if it makes you happier to give it that name, wonderful. What does it matter if it exists or not? for you it is a creation of the mind, that is evident Totally agree

That is. When I go to the void (artificially) it's nothingness because my ego hates so much the void that even with psychedelic it's a big reject, but I'm in the process of understanding and costume. It's pure logic that if you are in the nothingness, there is a conciousness perciving, if not, how do you know there is a void without illusion?

Great report, I enjoyed a lot the reading