Breakingthewall

If you've been grow up with narcissists, they'll notice that you're vulnerable. They will engulf you in their game, which is basically sucking your self-esteem to feed on it. Since this is not something you want to happen, you have to prevent it. the first thing is to identify that dynamic, the second, to put firm barriers against it. For me what worked the most is the attack. I know it sounds bad, but when you're in that dynamic you doubt. Kind: it's my paranoia, I'm sure there's nothing like that. and perpetuate the dynamic. On the other hand, if you sin by excess, you may have to apologize, but you are sending messages to your subconscious that will make that dynamic disappear from your life. After that, it will be easier to forgive those offenses of the past. maybe you realize that they were not so serious they are just poor scared idiots trying to run away from the harsh reality: their certainty that they are not enough, their inferiority

those kinds of situations are a key to liberation. living with that resentment is very unpleasant, so you look for a way to make it go away, but you can't, since everything was really so unfair, things should have happened differently, you have been scammed! that certainty of how they should have behaved, of how unfair everything was, is more painful than the damage itself. It seems impossible to get rid of it. what are you going to be? a lamb that allows itself to be used? the only way to rise above all that and completely lose its poison is to realize that things are exactly as they are, and cannot and should not be otherwise. You're not going to get to this with logic or with anything they tell you here. it is an awakening to the perfection of reality and to seeing the ego for what it is: it should be imaginary. This does not mean that you should allow the abuse, just that you see it as one more manifestation of reality, like the flu. So deepening understanding and emptying your mind with meditation are the paths that will lead you to free yourself from that pain

There is no self, it is an illusion. reality is a limitless void pretending to be something. apparent reality and infinite nothingness are the same. yes yes, all this is the starting point of spirituality. being able to see every moment the illusion of reality is a big step. everything is illusion. but obviously there is more. It is not that the ego wants to find something and all that, it is that it is evident. you are, and you are in unlimited depth, void source of love, sacred plenitude. say: there is nothing, I am already enlightened. stop fooling yourself, there's nothing. all of this sounds like you are stuck, that there is a part of you unable to open up.

because a guy from the tribe had sex with a girl who was the wife of another guy from the tribe, and it all ended with many deaths. because a guy wanted his land to be inherited by someone with his genes... in short, ego, patriarchy, possession, separation

@WelcometoReality @Gesundheit2 true, you can become a monk for example. stop wishing, stop being an ego, stop influencing reality. others will help you survive. We suffer because we have desires, it is true. We want things to be different than they are, and that dissonance between what should be and what is ,is pure anxiety, suffering. what is and what should be must be equalized. but you can still wish. align your desire with what is. a complicated step, for me the true art is here, and not in stopping wishing and being a monk true happiness is what you are once freed from the constant anxiety of what should be. Of the learned desires that are swimming against the current. once you start swimming with the current, everything begins to become simple, fluid. but you still swim

because the girls got pregnant, and they had to feed the child, and without a father who took responsibility, things got ugly

Is it possible to survive without desire? In some cases I guess so, but material survival requires struggle. can you fight without desire? as humans we do not have an instinct that makes us be adapted to the environment, we have to learn, and that requires desire.

abandoning the need to understand everything with the logical mind is essential. It's difficult because everyone is used to analyzing everything logically, everything must make sense, fit together. this is an obstacle, you have to let go of the need to analyze logically, otherwise it is impossible to meditate. it is something that happens little by little, it is like getting rid of a drug. psychedelics help a lot, since they erase the logical mind for a while. but the important thing is the intention to let go of control

Most of the suffering from trauma is not from the trauma itself but from the belief that it should not have happened. that you have been treated unfairly by ... life? things must have been one way and they scammed you, they went another way. this disappears when you become aware of the perfection of what is. nothing that can be arrived at with logic. trauma loses its poison in a second. It's like when neo starts to stops Smith's blows with one hand while looking away. you realize that it was you who was giving existence to that ghost, and then you let it go easily

right, the problem is that if you don't have desires you sink into shit... which doesn't matter if you don't have desires, obviously. if you have no desires, if you do not distinguish between good and bad, you are in paradise. but you die, they enslave you, you get cold and the rats eat you. I think that a balance is possible: desire with passion, and at will, when it is not necessary, cut off the desire and enter the kingdom of heaven. but never wishing and being a saint in a cave seems to me to lose something valuable, the human gift of doing, of changing reality. which is a source of suffering, sure, but it is also satisfying. If you know that suffering is imaginary it's bearable Edit: but who knows, maybe the world is a stupidity and pure source of suffering and would be much better be a saint in a cave, as the xingxing ming poem says: make the slightest distinction between good and bad and heaven and earth are infinitely separated

like all wishes. we are humans, maladjusted animals that need to desire in order to adapt. if we are cold, we make coats, if it takes a long time to make a trip, we make a plane. everything is desire. if we accept the world as it is, it eats us up. we have to change it. since we came down from the trees it is what it is. it is much more relaxed and beautiful to be a monkey in the jungle, but that is not the case. we have to chop wood and all that

desire is what keeps you alive. if you are cold, you want heat, etc. if you stop wishing, you die, unless you are in very special circumstances. to be taken care of by others who wish to take care of you, for example. buddha says: desire is the source of suffering, eliminate desire and you eliminate suffering. better, wish, suffer, nothing happens, if you know that your suffering is imaginary. in the end nothing is real, but you have to act as if it were

it is if you are a bird, for example. We humans play a more twisted game. we have played a trick on ourselves called the mind. get out of the maze is the game

desire is something good, a sign that you are alive, you are human. the point is to see it for what it is. It's all a game, but why not play? It's more fun than not doing it, there will be eternities to not wish

It's not being a coward to give up doing something when something tells you it's not the time, it's being smart

You do not have to do it. only if you want it so much that you can't help but do it. doing it because you're supposed to is a very likely failure. The time will come, if it comes. On second thought, you are absolutely right in your post. rushing can be stupid

there is another option. if you really want something, you do it, and you adapt as you can, and do what is necessary. I guess maybe it's not the wisest thing to do, but the other way around, you never start. a powerful enough desire flattens obstacles, external and internal

I think that archetypically the figure of the mother implies home, security, protection, safeguard from the unknown, love as attachment, childhood. that of the father, guide, toughness, loneliness, learning, freedom, love for the unknown, adventure, maturity.

What I do in these cases is send links to articles that talk about psychedelics, documentaries about mushrooms, etc. although so far no one did ...normal, either you feel the call, or you're not going to do something like that.

take a backpack, turn off the phone, and travel for a month to some remote and cheap country. a break works miracles

@Muhammad Jawad It is not so easy if in your culture family hierarchies are fundamental and respect (and submission) to your elders is a fundamental value. These elders, out of insecurity, since they do not feel really comfortable in their role, but they must pretend that they do, could tend to treat their descendants with condescension and mockery, thus affirming their role as patriarch. they are not free, they are scared, they fear all the time that they will not meet expectations. you have to understand them. a direct confrontation will leave them baffled, and you feeling guilty. it is better to treat them as a little senile and endearing and make them see that their stupidities slip you. deep down they will realize their ridiculous behavior and in the end they will respect you, if you respect yourself, of course. Growing up in a repressive culture where everyone has to play roles and deep down they're scared of not being enough, it's very alienating. it is what it is, there are no simple solutions, a boxer's waist and a lot of intelligence to see behind appearances Another possibility would be to talk to him alone and make him see his behavior, but open and honest conversations could be difficult in this environment, people feel threatened right away. still i would try but everything has to be built on a foundation of stone: your real and unwavering respect for yourself. if not, there is work to do

Could be...who cares

the imaginary as maternal in the sense of needing ties, of being at home, tied to the cord. the absolute as father in the sense of free, detached, wildly loose the maternal must be overcome, otherwise the adult will not arrive. must be loved and honored but the ties must be loosened

good explanation of something unexplainable. there is nothing, but it looks like something. then it is something. but it really is nothing. completely empty, unlimited. although there is a pressure, a need, to look like something, because the infinite void looses itself in it's infinity. But right now, there is nothing

the truth sets you free because there is no you, freedom was always. The Bible does not say that, but somehow it is understood. the Kingdom of heaven, etc. a manual for enlightenment corrupted by people who did not understand it and believed that they did