Breakingthewall

@Razard86 It's not exactly like that . I can, for myself, have a commitment to the truth. my vital intention is: the truth is the goal, I want to be true. The truth will set me free. So you ask me: do you know Jesus? and I deny him three times (for example), because I poop in my pants. I lied, yes, but out of cowardice. In a normal example: i lie because i think that the truth would show me as unworthy, but I'd like a lot to be capable to say the truth. When I'm alone i tell the truth to myself as much as I can, and i try to do more and more, and my ego grows and get more mature another very different thing is if I intentionally have a commitment to lying. my life intention is: hide who you are. you're disgusting, get as far away from yourself as possible, and invent another character. you are totally unworthy of love and you must create another character who is worthy of love, and become it. work hard to create that character, and when you have it done, you will finally be lovable. and never reveal who you really are, what you really feel, what's more, forget it and replace it with the other, then you will be free. So your ego gets totally stuck , and your false ego grows, but he is a demon, he is not you real ego. If the ego is a lie by definition, the fake ego is the lie of a lie

because your consciousness, if you take away the form and content, is empty and formless. Being so, it has no limits. Being no limits it encompasses everything. if it encompasses everything, any other consciousness is the same consciousness.

the ego is as it is because the traps of attachment are strong, and many. if it is weak, it will let itself be dragged over and over again. he has to conquer the world, or at least in part, so that he can later discard it. maybe there are cases where this is not necessary, natural mystics who are born in mystical cultures, but in our materialistic culture you have to be very strong to swim against the current

Maybe 5 meo is different. I find it extremely straight. It erases the mind in a level that seems impossible in another way Could you explain? I'm really interested . I would say that it is to be in a state without barriers permanently. the constant perception of the infinite that you really are. So a state. Independently if you couldn't sit without movement more than 10 min Of course have control of yourself is important, a tool, manual practices are fundamental, but maybe not always needed

I'd say quality is in intention. the narcissist intentionally tends to lie. the non-narcissist tends to the truth. He wants it, even though he fears it and sometimes behaves more narcissistically than the narcissist. This is degree too? Could be, at the end everything is. But not, i think that a narcissistic person can stop being one if he changes his desire to lie for a desire for truth. I think it's a quality. a level 1500 ego can be less narcissistic than a level 1000 ego. what happens is that his fear is greater, but his tendency is positive, while the other is negative

I do not think it is like that. if I am sitting face to face with you having a beer, I try a genuine communication, with more or less success, trying to understand you and for you to understand me. to flow together. As I am far from perfect, I will do it with relative success and narcissistic touches will escape me. But if instead what I do is a performance where I'm selling you my character, having the need or see me reflected in a mirror , and you are the mirror , apart from being an unbearable pain in the ass and giving you a boring time, I'll be a narcissist. You never tried sex with a narcissist? She is masturbating and you are the dildo

But but from what I've read I deduce that you've never done 5 meo. there are psychedelics and psychedelics

imo the message is very superficial. if this is neo advaita, it is an empty message, which does not understand or want to understand....because there is nothing to understand in her opinion. But you can know. She says the ego is not real, that it is a construction made for survival. ok, yes, and? that's completely obvious. and yet you are. they say: but you are nothing and there is nothing to understand. you still are. I think she speaks from logic, from avoidance and from dogma. Without will to really go deep. There is nothing, but nothing is, and there start the thing, no finish. They think they are enlightened and they stopped in the first step

accurate and subtle perception imo

people are sad because they are smart. only idiots are happy running after the carrot and trying to fit in. sadness makes it necessary to look for an alternative and the alternative is liberation

I would say that you have to build a strong ego because then you have to deconstruct it, and to do that you are going to have to overcome one obstacle after another. your ego moves with the inertia of the collective ego, forged in thousands of generations. it is very easy to get carried away by that current, so you need an ego capable of following its own path and believing in itself to start deconstruction

Yeah I Know it. I try to remove the lie from me, and I realize that behind one layer of lies, there is another. and all generate resistance. Now I think I hardly lie to myself, but two years ago I believed the same thing and from now on I realize that I had tons of pretense, half-truths, resistance, so I suppose that in two years I will think the same as now. the ego is a difficult labyrinth, because it has the capability of to hide things to itself

well, ultimately it is. Degree makes quality. I would say that the characteristic of the narcissist is that he has lies at his core, while a non-narcissistic ego uses lies, but does not need to believe them himself. that is the difference in quality. but at the same time it is also of degree, since the ultimate nature of the ego is the lie. its existence is a lie. then, an ego that uses lies like trump and does not believe it, and admits to himself without problems that he is a son of a bitch, would have a lower grade than one who also needs to feel integral and lovable, morally superior. what happens is that the degree barrier between these two ways makes a great qualitative leap. the narcissistic ego will go into crisis if pushed. the non-narcissist will laugh in your face. The non narcissist has the possibility to trascend itself because he can face itself. The other, looks impossible except with years of intense suffering

@Razard86 thanks! I also enjoy your posts. what I see is that the problem with trauma is that it generates anxiety in the long term since it opens a gap between what it is and an imaginary should be. this gap is pure anxiety. in my experience it is impossible to equalize the two tracks from the ego. the ego looks for strategies to get rid of anxiety but what it does is hide it. there is still a dull anxious vibration in the background, since the ego in the background is what it should be. the only thing that has worked for me is the realization of infinity. It doesn't mean that there is no longer anxiety, but every time I realize infinity, the should be disappears and the tracks get closer.

Imagine the reality for a fetus. or what is the same, imagine that they cut a cable from your brain and disconnect you from your senses, and then they erase your memory. what would you be? according to the ego's point of view, you would be nothing, a vegetable. something without capacity or characteristics. but you really would be everything. unlimited. Out of time or space, infinity. every attribute is a limitation.

Well, you could say: the truth is the infinity. It's an idea that point the truth, but it's not the truth, because you can't imagine the infinity, you can realize it if you dissolve the limits that the ideas are.

you have put dams on the mind to become a survival machine. to survive you need to be integrated into the collective ego, so since you learned to speak you have been shaping yourself to become a piece that fits in a puzzle. you have (we have) fear of the unlimited because we are made to our golden cage. infinity is freedom, but it is indefinite. becoming used to it and flattening the mind to flow is the goal of spirituality imo

Many people are in a relationship like someone who has a job: they need it but it's a pain in the ass. they need stability, to mean something to someone, to be loved and to love, but they also want to fuck with many girls, or boys (although it's more for men imo). since they do not conceive of having an open relationship, and having sex only with their partner until death do us part, it seems like death in life, and being without their partner seems unbearable to them, they lie and look for sex out there. a logical solution. I have been there and for me the only option, very difficult, has been to break up the couple. I can't be in a relationship since I start with that loop that lowers you and turns you into a scammer and a piece of shit. better alone

Absolutely, but in that time was impossible. I don't have much control of my subconscious right now. the beating was hard.

It wasn't a question

The truth is not that. The truth isn't something. The truth is to dissolve the limits, the falsehood is the appearance of limitation. To say: there is nothing except you, is another limitation. The truth is: i am. No i am something, or alone, or with others. Everything is the same. You couldn't adopt a deluded belief because all beliefs are delusion

Who can't stand to be alone? God? But he is. And he is not he, it's the infinity. The infinity is not alone. There is something wrong in that idea

The problem with hidden trauma is precisely that it is hidden. it may be that you do not have it, or that you have brought it to the surface, but the normal thing is to have it and deceive yourself. or normal for me. if there is agitation in you, some degree of unhappiness, compulsion, fear, anger, desire to prove something, need for evaluation, etc....it is because there is distortion between what is and what should be. is this trauma? I would say that all trauma is that, although perhaps it has to be qualified. If your mind is equalized, if what is and what should be follow the same track, you are enlightened. are you? I do not. I don't mean if you realized god, i mean if you could stay without any distortion. Me definitely not. so there is hidden trauma.

I remember very well your report from when I was researching to do 5 meo. that was just a touchdown. even having been 30mg, it seems that your ego's resistance was so tenacious that you couldn't let it go completely. I have a way to do it, especially for fearful people. I vape, I prepare 4 pipes with mg to spare, and I start small, it's like a meditation. first 2 or 3 mg, after 10 minutes a little more, after again, and your mind opens up. if you perceive that you really want to open up, you vape at once 10, or you can continue little by little. Suddenly, without realizing it, that's it. infinite. total. for me it has been fundamental not only because of the transcendence of the ego but also to go beyond my hatred. My family was problematic, and I couldn't erase it, impossible. just total openness, many times, to the point of leaving a permanent hole in my ego, has worked to erase that shit that tortured me. I did it maybe 100 times, not always completely, but enough to see how the ego patterns disintegrated and reassembled. from seeing it so much, you start to understand

this is infinity, unfathomable, and everything that seems to be happening is just a dream. the past is a dream, everything is unreal. there is only this and it is imaginary. nothing has any importance. there are no limits and anything divided by infinity=0 . there is only love flowing infinitely. Nothing ever happened, or everything happened. is the same. dreams that disappear