Breakingthewall

Ok, but if the self disappears and absolute infinity remains, you are still you, in the sense that that is what you are, without meaning but still is you, the same that you are now, since nothing else is, but without that encapsulation that make the self attached

@axiom what is a self?

Doing 5 meo many times . I explained it sometime. It is usually vaping like 15 mg and having a pretty horrible experience, there is no me, there is nothing, the reality is absolute emptiness, bottomless, dead. then again, 18 mg , I return to the void, to the total depth, in the void existence is revealed. it's me, total, unimaginable, unfathomable. what was always. absolute freedom, absolute joy. Absolute everything. there is no loneliness, there is totality, there is recognition, there is the greatest possible happiness, it is beyond any expectation. there is understanding. burst. It is reality when nothing veils it. The veil is me. It's a shit to live being blind to that. Sometimes I'm blind, sometimes not so. you see what makes the door close or open, and you orient yourself to the latter. Only that is happiness, life. everything else is misery . What totally escape to my understanding is why I'm limited now, how, what are the others, what is that experience. I'm contemplating all time.

@VeganAwake 2 questions. Are you? In case affirmative. what are you? I think the problem here, as axiom mentioned, is semantic.

I am the totality of existence. Not me, the person who is writing, that is a construction. What i really am. immeasurable, incomprehensible, happy beyond imagination, absolutely free

I ve small experience with lsd , but more with mushrooms. What happens to me is that if I take a low dose, you are still in the realm of the mind but with a strange psychedelic effect, which leads to crazy rumination and analysis. it is better a sufficient dose that gets you out of there, that does not give you the possibility of thinking in confusion

I don't think it's possible to erase the vomiting being that my father was, drunk and insulting everyone, especially my mother, and me, where it hurt the most, since I was 8 years old. He also died of cancer before it could leave his face a red mass that gasped for breath. what I see is that this shit is me, that I like to play hard, putting myself in a maze of rats to find the exit. I could also have been born paralyzed, or a dwarf, or a woman in Arabia, or a thousand shits that make up the madness that is to be human. we are soldiers, and if we are lucky enough to have a good time, great, but we are here to solve puzzles, not to have a perfect life. imperfection is our hallmark, and we must love it. accept your humanity, love those vomitive motherfuckers. they are you, and they are the humanity

it's incomprehensible imo. Let's see, I am an experience, like a dream of God, a tentacle of God that has infinite tentacles, but really what I am is God, complete. If this experience fades, God remains. this experience is god, but it doesn't seem like it, it seems somewhat limited. this experience eclipses god. So, if I die, there will simply be god. but... God at the same time is all the other possible experiences. So when I die will I be those experiences? or am I already being? "when" is temporary, and reality is not. to say: I will live all the experiences...it doesn't make sense. they are already being lived. So, the only conclusion is: when I die, all experiences will die, and only God will remain. but then...is there time? incomprehensible

@Harman in short : go completely, without reservation, out of your comfort zone. if not your life stagnates. When 18 and when 60, but when you are 18 you have to start the habit of be brave, don't be lazy, do the radical. I don't know, buy a bike and tour the Congo. Forget the videos, Leo, and all that, go for the real thing

Just vaporize your ego until nothing remains, face the horror of absolute emptiness, absence of anything, and realize the absolute glory of what you are, the impossible that is. Wtf.

Agree, i don't want even 1 gr of that shit in my life. That's why I totally limit my social contacts to real thing, one to one only and when it really worths. Results: 95% of time alone. But for me it's much better

Yeah. I'm fake too when I'm there. No other option, it's the dynamic of that. What I mean is that it is ok to pass time but not good if you are trying to get deeper

@Tyler Robinson more common example: a Friday I meet to lunch with my friends from school. everyone shows great humor, everyone makes jokes, it seems like a fun and relaxed situation. everyone drinks beer and wine, some gin for dessert, everyone talks about girls, sex, politics and work, and someone who is not present at the time. everything seems normal, light, nice .... ufff it's unbearable fucking shit. They should pay me to be there. everything is fake, I notice the tension in the environment, everyone with their defenses bristling, not showing weakness, saying what they are supposed to say, each one in their role. When I get off that shit my mind buzzes for two hours. Why to do that? But for them it's a great time, after they go to another, and another... After that I go to a place where people I know from my ex meet, hippy style. It seems more authentic, people drink beer and smoke weed. They look closer and less fake. we talk about politics and about the world and people listen to what you say and give their opinion. it is a higher level. I perceive the need to communicate, to find common ground. to feel part of something, to feel that I am also part of it. they're nice but it's alienating. for them only the conceptual exists, everything is made of words. In the end, it's almost more alienating than the others.

So, what will you do? his memory is indelible. you have to recontextualize it. there comes a time when you realize that shit is just what you needed, for that game you came. realize that when you think things should have been different it is pure vanity. things are exactly as they are. You, the you who judge, have no voice here, you must bow to reality, not deviate a millimeter from it. the past cannot be changed. just realize that your pain is the distortion between what was and what should have been. when you see that it should have been, since it was, the distortion disappears. to see this you have to go deeper, to get away from the social matrix, to understand who you are.

What I did when I was about your age and in a very similar situation, was to move alone to another city on the coast that attracted me, with little money and the determination not to return for a long time. The truth is that it was hard, but it made things clear for me. salaried work sucks but you have to go through it. at least one year. later...you are in a complicated game, you have to play it with intuition, intelligence and decision. no one can tell you how, it's up to you. Just don't stay still, act

I would say that if you want to go deeper, you have to limit your social interactions to the minimum and maximum quality, only one on one, not groups. normal social interactions take you away from yourself, draw you into the social matrix. you also have to completely leave any entertainment like Netflix, novels, movies... any evasion. the basis of your life must be total solitude and you must be perfectly comfortable in it. Nailed in the present moment. and the people chosen to interact must be of the highest quality, you should be totally true with them. If not, you are going back every time you interact

existence exists and that's what we are. there is no death. There is only the cessation of an experience that is like a lens of God. you are god but you don't see it because experience prevents it. so in a way, you are the experience. but the experience is not real. then, you as experience are not real. so when you die someone will die who is not real, so death is not real. only god is

Women based in fear are attracted by strength and success. Women based in love, by true connection and real sexual energy

boredom is something that occurs in children, to encourage them to play constantly, which is a mechanism of stimulation and learning. in adults more than boredom there is anxiety. almost everyone is addicted to the mind and if we are left empty, we can't stand it, we need to fill the emptiness with whatever, movies, socializing, etc.

I have never been addicted to porn, I have used it to see the girl's bodies, but it always seemed empty to me. but I have been addicted to something else, a paraphilia. I guess I won't be the only one. my addiction was looking for a girl in contact apps to masturbate together with a video call or talking on the phone. and when i got it, to keep searching for another. I could spend hours a day with it, and i wasn't really interested in dating them, i did, sex too, but really i preferred the paraphilia. I thought that I would never be able to leave that addiction, but the solution occurred by itself: real, true sex, of total surrender, divine. makes everything else look like misery. the difference between quality sex is in your partner, she has to be pure in her way of being, without lies, and over all in you, that have to be the same. Now i think i know why I was addicted to that: i didn't really enjoyed sex because it was to many lie in me, but the sexual impulse was impossible to ignore, so it was an scape

Yeah, and beautiful. Much more than be blind

I'm not talking about an ego that has to get anywhere, I'm talking about an ego that must move apart so that reality manifests itself and the story that keeps us on the surface could be detached. Where is the history? In the depth? Do you understand the depth of reality, of what we are? Not understand, realize. There are not histories. Reality exist and is unfathomable depth. It's not just emptiness. I don't mean to know anything, i mean to be open to the depth, to be limitless I read your posts and for you spirituality is : there is no self, nothing can be explained. That is a dead end road, the neo advaita approach. Reality exist, and we are. And it's a door to open. Yes it sounds like to go anywhere but it isn't anywhere to go, is a door to open your mind and your heart to de depth that you are and you always were, just you were closed to it, as if you perceived in 2 dimensions example: imagine that you are a guy who only thinks about making money by scamming people and compulsively looking for sex with prostitutes. one day you take mushrooms , or have a traumatic experience, or anything, and realize the true aspect of human relationships, the depth of the human condition. Since then you see people differently, you make true friends and you have integrity, you set up an NGO to help the homeless. is this real, or is it the ego that has created a story of a path from *psychopath" to "great guy"? It's that you now are able to see a dimension that before you were blind to

Same could be said of the Nazism

it's just that Islam is less evolved than previous religions. and not only that. Other religions have a background of truth, in Islam it is difficult to see it. rather it is a pack of lies. It is true that other religions arose in sophisticated and cultured environments, such as Rome, India, China, and Islam in a very primitive environment and that would be an excuse, but the lack of truth is still there. The religion of the Native Americans, for example, is much truer, and they were more primitive.

in short: transcend your ego. the usual in spirituality, nothing new. only that we, who use psychedelics, know that this ego has enormously deep roots and it is totally impossible to transcend it. you think yes, but no. the last layer, the total emptiness of existence, you cannot go through it, unless you are enlightened like maharshi. for a normal guy it is absolutely impossible. But there's the chemistry. Chemistry gives you the breakthrough, but it also gives you the understanding of who you are as an ego by destroying it over and over again. Seeing the glory of existence lends an underlying joy, but it is temporary, the door closes again in a few days and only the memory remains. you have to repeat the play a thousand times, until for you the structure of the ego is obvious. then you permanently identify with existence, you are open to the deep, when before you were open to the superficial, to the linear, to time. with this you conquer neither more nor less than immortality, completely real and without a doubt