Breakingthewall

we know that reality is illusory right? a kind of hologram whose substance is nothing. A thought. we are illusion, we do not exist, only like a thought. So if you stay in a coma, they give you propofol, deep sleep, whatever ... what? it's part of the dream too. where did you go when propofol? If there is no propofol, neither you , nor where to go

I would say that all the possibilities, infinite, are right now, and they are all nothing. why are we perceiving something concrete right now and not something else? the eternal question ...I don't know

why would you want to do that?

as a form you were born from nothing, and you as a form will disappear without a trace

I've had that experience many times, it's terrifying. there is nothing, empty. I am not there. only empty, immeasurable, infinite. The feeling when the ego comes back is indescribable. the point is, that's what you are, but it's also nothing at all. neither love nor intelligence in this moment. Void. getting used to that is quite a challenge. it's possible ... more or less, I'm working on it. If I vape 5 meo in high dose that's my experience. All is void. if I do it again, the emptiness explodes, in an instant, it is all that is possible. the infinity of possibilities being in this instant. the two are the same. and it is also the same me now writing. hard to understand. I hope I'm getting used to that void, i feel it's very important

The thoughts are nothing more than you talking to yourself because you are afraid of being alone. You've been depending on others your whole life to live, if they leave you alone, you will pee and poop. so you talk to yourself and you talk to yourself to give yourself the feeling that mommy takes care of you (and me, i can't stop neither). That is the whole mystery

addictions are usually a tool that you use as a patch, to cope with your unbearable anxiety. If you can't get your anxiety levels down, no strategy, method, idea is going to work for you. It is obvious from reading that you are fully aware of what this addiction does in you: it rots your mind. It doesn't matter if you know it, the anxiety is worse. anxiety eats you inside. Anxiety is a horrible hole in the center of your being, telling you: you are not worthy of love. God don't love you. what you have to do is serious, it doesn't matter if you are a teenager, a child or whatever, that's life: hard. you have to understand, solve the puzzle. If not, your life will be miserable, a shit. understand is difficult. First, you are not aware of what has caused your anxiety. you think yes but no. you have to go deep, to the bottom. therapy, psychedelics, real action, honesty, intelligence, courage

have you tried 5 meo dmt? It is not a psychedelic, it is something else. it is a ego killer. No ego remaining. and without ego, only the truth remains

@Karmadhi try to understand that it is not about competition, who is more handsome, or brilliant. it's about connecting. you have to go with your radar open, that is, contacting girls, until the connection occurs. You don't have to force it, just learn to be as yourself as possible, open up, eliminate any expectations, and let the magic happen. You don't want to win an award, be more than the boy next door, and take a girl who is not on your frequency. for what? so that they give you a medal? that is lowering yourself. you want magic. You want things to flow, and if it does, it doesn't matter if you have the most handsome guy in the world next to you.

the ego has no faith. He believes that everything depends on him, that without his constant attention and work, the worst will happen, death. fight, be attentive, anxious. having faith is the opposite. Everything is as it should be, let it go, stop fighting

the prophets were mystics who liked the attention of the public and who were brilliant orators and magnetic personalities, like osho. the question is not how deep they went but the people they reached. imagine that instead of prophets they were singers. There are millions of singers, not so much mystics but a lot as well. Have the best singers endured in time, or the most charismatic? a mix i guess, some really good, some really bad

Happy to hear it . constant anxiety is a condemnation

faith as surrender. Stop trying to be, abandon yourself, have faith in God, reality, merge with it without opposing the slightest resistance, and you will be swimming in an ocean of love of which you were always a part, although due to your lack of faith, you fought, you opposed, remaining separated, walking alone through the desert, determined, fast, believing that there was a destination to reach, when everything was right here, now

happy New Year! good looking, nice place. but happiness is not that, not even close , brother. I have recently discovered it, or re-discovered it. you, as I was, you are lost. you are looking, and you do well. There was a moment in your life when you turned away from yourself. It seems impossible, but yeah, you did. it was out of fear. You thought you were unlovable and you walked away from yourself. pure anxiety. so it is impossible to be happy, ever. the day will come when you come home. One day, meditating, or whatever, you will notice an smell, something, a being ... you. finally. So much time wasted and you're back at home, you moved away, and to go back ... you had to go all the way around. When you open that door to you, love will flow until you cannot stop crying, the air smells of spring, of childhood, and within you there will be joy. that is happiness, that is love. what you are. It is rare that to find yourself you have to go through an odyssey, a fantastic journey in which you will have to give all your strength, your intelligence. To arrive and see that you are in the beginning. You only had to undress to enter. abandon all vanity, all pretense. humiliate you. but that's how this game is. I hope you are lucky and play it well.

Not agree, there is a source of anxiety. It is the dissonance that your mind creates when you perceive a lack of love, (which can be criticism, violence, contempt from your parents, from your friends etc.) your mind does this: there is an unbearable lack of love, so I am not correct in essence, as a being . there is a should be that is correct. I abandon what I am and try to be that it should be. This is impossible, you are what you are and the should be is a ghost. But you try to get away from what you are and achieve what it should be. you become a dissonance. pure anxiety. That should be marked with fire, it takes you away from your center like a magnet. has you in no man's land, land of anxiety. You have to see this clearly, and little by little the magnet should be losing its strength. If you don't, your life will be a misery, always. to understand this is to understand yourself. meditation, psychedelics, terapy. the times, the time it takes. nothing is that important.

for leo and others, for this whole forum: my deepest thanks. for being an oasis in the middle of the desert. for being the drop that makes the river overflow. for being the impulse of a revolution that i could not even imagine

self-love, but also gives to others, true relationships, without reservations

@tlowedajuicemayne @tlowedajuicemayne are you or have you been schizophrenic? it is supposed to be irreversible. could you go deeper?

@tlowedajuicemayne Exactly, we are empty, just like the cat, only that we seem filled by our mind, the self, but this is unreal. there is no self, this is the illusion

@Nahm thanks!

the good thing is that you are on the right path. The bad is that narcissistic parents are probably affecting you much deeper than you think. there are layers and layers of lack of love, of manipulation, of deep fear, that you hide from yourself. it is something very sad and painful. a child is extremely sensitive to this type of way of being "evil", in the sense of without love. In addition, narcissists tend to undermine your security on purpose (unconsciously I suppose) in order to feel exalted. you, as a son, are just a bitch in which to see their greatness reflected, to feed their sick ego. they can only think about it and feel a terrible inner emptiness that they usually cover with addictions. being a child with these people around is a biblical proof. don't underestimate it. you have to redo your development, start from scratch. maybe leave the university, start an absolutely original path, yours. fight a lot, but it is what it is. the faster you do it, the better or this shit will weigh down your life, your relationships, and you'll run the risk of seeing yourself become a sad and loveless adult. you have to fight to the death for your life, all is in game

Hehe I'm not trying to debunk, just get you noticed ... maybe .... an excess of condescension. btw, many of your comments are inspiring

Ha! Where is the difference between books or opinion of other (illusory) people? Of course you need ideas from other people to soften your ego. Without spiritual theory all of us would be in the blue or maybe orange stage for ever. True that arrived to some point Theory is no longer necessary, it is even an obstacle, everything is within each one, but the ego is firm and needs to be softened. this is what we are here for

beautiful report, I really enjoyed reading it, I even sent it to a friend. I have two questions: why did you think that the cat was a kind of false being, without depth, when the oranges and the ground were conscious, full of love? The other day I was observing some cats on the beach, and it seemed to me: they are all the same being, within them is the infinite emptiness, in silence, being. as in me, but more pure. I could kill one of those cats right now and nothing happens. There are the others. Another question: how about these two years of meditation in the monastery? have you reached the purity of mind that makes it open in the same way it did with lsd?

I don't think there are good or bad feelings, there are more egoic and less. egoic feelings, such as hatred, aggressiveness, fear, comparative complexes, are egoic. I notice it because they have a peculiar, vicious, annoying taste. They can be addictive, like hatred or revenge, or completely unpleasant and paralyzing, like fear. non-egoic feelings are beauty, openness, wonder, lightness, selfless love, and they feel good, pure now I am feeling especially the bad ones, since tomorrow I am going to have dinner with my family. it is great therapy to observe this. and if not, lets drink good wine