Breakingthewall

Being an absolutely selfish evil stupid son of a bitch when I was a teenager and my mother was sick alone in a foreign country surrounded by motherfuckers, but I don't regret it. I was a stupid son of a bitch and there was nothing to do with it.

????

You are right, my advice was too selfish. But when you're in a situation of isolation that can be perpetuated, you have to get out of there no matter what. if you are there, you will not get out easily, you have to use any means at your disposal

if you could experience a couple of hours of the crucifixion experience, and then calmly maintain that suffering is nothing to you, then ok

True, fictional, because we the humans are deeply stupid and we have created a society so stupid, narcissistic and empty that it only produces vain egomaniacs with perpetual maturational delay. women by nature are wonderful and happy, but they are full of shit, insecurity, neurosis, falsehood, false expectations, tons of idiocy. more than men, which is saying a lot. Be a woman seems to be really difficult

Thanks for the compliment

Woman: love, joy, heart, happiness, goodness, magic.

a little more intelligent and integral people around me

The problem with being a slut is not that a girl loves sex and greatly enjoys having it with different guys, that's great. the problem is that he does it begging for love due to low self-esteem, which is the most common. so yeah it's pretty embarrassing

It's not a matter of being masculine or. It's a matter of being assertive. you can be extremely effeminate and very assertive. to be assertive you have to practice the truth. remove any lie from you, even the slightest pretense. what is a pretense? is to say to the other: I'm afraid of you, so I do monkey tricks to please you. zero lie, even the smallest humiliates you. just the fact of thinking: I need to be more masculine, translates into: I'm afraid of others and I want to do a performance to please. Analyze even the slightest need to be liked, and treat it as a humiliation. you should not be liked, are they who are in test to be liked or not. and then you will be more masculine

It's difficult for you. many people are very superficial and seek relationships based on superficiality and they work well for them, they find a partner with great ease. they look for some requirements, in turn they fulfill other requirements, and everything goes fast. other people are naturally very open and connect easily with others. all women are almost desperately looking for a partner, so it's not difficult. But don't think about them, focus on yourself. If I were you, I would forget if she is attractive, if she is this or that. I would look for the connection. it's vital to you, or you're going to get buried. if what you are looking for is someone to provide you with things, I am afraid that in your case it will not work. I would say that your path is to learn generosity. look for someone to give yourself to. that is the true path to openness to others. if not, you will always be locked up.

the first step imo is a girlfriend. someone with whom you open up completely in all aspects. find a girlfriend and open yourself to her mentally, emotionally and physically. it is not easy to find obviously, and it will not be perfect, and you will end up breaking up, but have this goal when looking for it: I want to open myself totally to someone. once you fully open up to someone, you will be able to open up to others more easily. but now it is very difficult.

Could you explain?

@Leo Gura Could it be said that you have understood everything that is possible to understand? I would say that the turning point is the poem. from there the work ceases to be understanding and goes on to exploration. Or is there more that needs to be understood?

What would you call the desire to harm other people? It goes beyond the absence of love.

when i watch a youtube of leo about spirituality in which he explains his experience of being god, something inside me tells me: turn it off that immediately. forget what you have heard, it is harmful. And i really forget. Only my own experience, the experience of the others is only a couriosity. What is very useful imo is to point what is not the truth, or how to deconstruct your mind

Yes, and reject that anyone is real except you, the solipsism. I think i understand the reason of that and why you teach: only you exist, the others are being imagined by you and do not have a real pov. only your pov is real. It's true, only your pov is real...for you. since you are the absolute. and to become absolute you have to drop the notion of another. but you know that the others have their real pov in a relative level.

my father died of that, it is a difficult death. If something like this happens to me, I would like to have reached the point where with total calm and with a certain joy of having fulfilled my duty, I can commit suicide and leave when I decide. although perhaps at that moment I consider that what I should do is suffer until the last moment. until that day comes, impossible to know

wonderful. when it seemed that you had reached the end and from now on there was only repetition, it turns out that it is a new beginning. I am very happy to see your trajectory, it is very inspiring

what do you think of the theory of james lovelock, the one who said about gaia, who said that the earth had created humans as a tool to reach a more perfect form of intelligence, the ai, and that once achieved we would become extinct? The ego, the human suffering, could be the engine necessary to reach it

the big bang occurred at the same rate as your birth occurred, or last year. From the absolute perspective, you're imagining last year right now. it only exists right now and you are imagining everything, nothing happens, everything is imagination. only the absolute is. same with the big bang. from the relative perspective, yesterday happened. and the big bang too. but... actually the relative perspective is imaginary. reality is absolute. nothing happens, nothing happened, nothing will happen. just imagination now. it is the empty infinity imagining. like a movie. behind the film there is nothing. it is a thin layer, as thin as light. only appearances. behind, the absolute emptiness. scary right? you have to dive headfirst into that total void to understand infinity, the source. god. The total glory. It's unthinkable. and the thing is, is there only one apparent reality? mine? The answer is: for me, yes. there is only my perspective. the self that writes now is a perspective. It really is absolutely nothing, it has the consistency of a projection, a hologram. all the colors, the sensations, the memories, are nothing. delusion. but the trick is that there are infinitely many of these simultaneous illusions, and each one is absolute to itself. when one bursts like a soap bubble, it's as if it never existed. the absolute remains. the relative is illusion.

Yes, you understand it and you are in the highway.

yes, you become infinite and it is obvious that nothing exists outside of you, you are absolute. but then you become relative , and that is no longer the case! apparently there are infinity of individuals. they are all the same, but in a different shape. it is obvious that they exist. Let's see, you, like infinity, will you ever be someone else? In the future right? then there is another. This is it, there is no doubt. And how many others are you going to be in your infinite time? so infinite. And what is the difference between you are going to be or be now? none. So, right now, you, the one absolute, are being infinitely different forms. Why you denying de obvious? the only way that there would be no other povs would be to say that you will never, in eternity, embody another pov, all eternity is this moment and me sitting on a terrace typing the phone. if not, it is that there are infinite pov. and those of you who deny it, it seems that you do it to appear mysterious or to follow the dogma. it is obvious that there are infinite pov!

Everything is myself. But when i imagine something, it's real. Everything is infinite. This about the others don't exist sound flat, like a dogma.

Have you read what I wrote?