Breakingthewall

No thing is worldly. Or more worldly that another thing

Yesterday I did 2 breakthroughs with 5 meo, very negative, horrible feeling. The absolute is empty. Nothing. Today, 11 in the morning, another. Not full break, approx 15mg vaped, but same thing, total black hole. I go down to have a coffee, I'm thinking, well, but there is awareness of the void. What is the difference between the void and this? The void is a creation, even if it seems very strange. The void is the absolute, but this right now, too. What do they have in common? Being aware of it, obviously, then, there is no fear of emptiness. Just another experience. I go home, I prepare 20 mg in three tubes, one, ok, more to go. Two. Strong, but not enough. Three. Absolute. Reality is absolute depth, and that's what I am. Hallelujah. Yesterday after the breakthroughs, walking around the house looking at the floor thinking: trauma. Today I wake up and I'm dancing around the house, I say yes, yes, yes, i touch my body, I am fully aware of the creation of this moment. It is glory. Freedom. Perfection. Power. Liberation. Yes. ps: typical story of 5 meo, I know. but you have to live it friends. that is.

So what is the difference between saying that only you exist and you are god believing that you are a human, or that there are infinite manifestations of the absolute, there are infinite pov that really are one pretending to be many? It's a slippery thing, sometimes I think I have it and when I think about it, I see that I don't. it is absolutely impossible for anything to exist outside of my pov. my pov is the Reality. and yet there are others. I would say that it is something like that there is only one pov, and it is infinite, and incomprehensible to the conceptual mind, and the ego are the blinders on the donkey, a trick to make it look like you are an individual surrounded by others, when really my pov is the absolute , and the others pov too, because they are the same, appearing difference , so there are no others since the others pov are my pov...but still, the thing is twisted. Difficult to think in it

I just wanted to describe the realization. reality is infinite depth, and i am that, not "i", just absolute depth. nothing comprehensible, since the infinite depth is also an empty and dead realization, depending on whether the manifestation of what you are occurs or not. I think I will have to repeat the situation many more times to begin to intuit some kind of understanding. anyway, it's something anyone interested in spirituality should do. it is total liberation. still after two days the feeling is exactly the same. liberation, happiness by default, glorious vision of reality, the infinity just under surface. No need of interpretation

well, in an infinite state there does not seem to be such thing like others, alone, or self... There is only freedom, existence, perfection. in an apparently finite state, there seems to be "others" although this state is recognized as an appearance within infinity, therefore these others are apparent. exist? In the same extent that I exist as a self. only infinity is. but seems that only me can have experience, since it is me who becomes infinite. This direct experience is the same than the experience of being infinity but seems different. So it is absolutely impossible for anything to exist outside of my direct experience. strange and incomprehensible. the usual, the solipsism that nobody understands. The question is: exist another direct experience outside my direct experience? Seems impossible. But could be in a way that i can't understand .

Thanks! Yesterday was the third time I had an opening to infinity, but this time it was much more. It was not an opening, it was becoming infinite. Something not just mental but physical. I remember standing in my house with my arms up to the ceiling screaming yeeeeessss... a part of me said: wait, are you with your arms up saying yes? Why? And again my body disappeared and the big hole was. Just the infinite hole. The total happiness of absolute freedom. The discharge of energy from my body did not stop, it was almost unbearable. I still feel it today. It was the energy of the control. It was released. The energy channels of my body were unblocked and everything flowed. Then uncontrollable laughter. Today complete detachment. Everything is light, almost transparent. One millimeter away from becoming infinite. This thing is extremely powerful, the passport to freedom. And this is just the beginning.

The difficult part of the game is to realize that the suffering is god. Just another experience But i understand you well. When the walls get closed the life turns grey and everything is a no sense. That's why the psychedelic are useful, to dynamite the walls at will

Yeah! Good work inspiring people to realize that. The best work possible.

@QQQ it's the tool for this work. I just ordered HCl. Next time, snorting, since plugging doesn't work. I feel the strong effect with 30 mg, but comes so slowly that my ego can do the adjustments to stand. Maybe snorted is faster and works. who knows? Is it possible to know anything or understand anything? It seems that "know" or "understand" are just creations, like everything else. Does "always" mean anything? difficult to understand from the human mind. we will see the next one. no, nothing since dinner. important to have an empty stomach

Do the same analogically. silent retreats, meditation several hours a day for days, etc. But if you're really interested in the work, you'll get psychedelics. the attachment to the current experience is enormous and it is very difficult to break it. It is possible I suppose, as it was done traditionally. years in a cave meditating, those things. and with no guarantee and psychedelics alone won't do. you need a constant deconstruction work of all the pillars that support the structure of your self, of the separation between me/another, etc. there is always a little more to deconstruct. Some teaching could be necessary too.

Imagine that you are undergoing surgery in which a wire is cut in your brain and all sensory information is cancelled. not touch, not sensations of the body, such as breathing, not seeing, etc. after that, they put you through another operation and completely wipe your memory. where would you be? when?

you have to do psychedelics until you fry your brain. for what? to notice the changes of state. you have to boil the water and turn it into steam. then freeze it, then again water. to break the solidity of your current state. This will facilitate the opening to the reality of what you are, which is not at all thinkable, since thought is something that is being created. it cannot be used to understand the whole thing. reality is unthinkable. you are infinite depth .is that something? is it understandable? not. Well, it's not understandable by me. a psychedelic state is the same as a sober state. this is the key.

books don't make any sense as soon as you start getting deep . books only serve to prepare the ground while you are an ego that lives on the word. once you leave the word behind, books are just a pretty boring curiosity

Yeah, but it was just an experience. The thing is very subtle. only now is. I do not seek to have many experiences. but I know that these experiences are breaking down the walls that enclose me in the illusion of being a person who evolves over time. I'm going to break them until there's nothing left. why? Because freedom feels good You didn't think in taking any psychedelic to see what happens? Was it a state of depression? let's say the walls were closed for you, and not a bit of light penetrated. that's hard, misery. How did you get the light to come in? Meditation? How was your analogic process :)? I think it was good since reading you now is easy to perceive a real opening, much more than before . At the end, everything is just this present moment, but can be more close, more open, or absolutely open. We are trying to open it totally, because it feels great. If i compare my life now or 2 years ago it's crazy. I lived in the mud and in the misery and i thought i had a good life.

the problem is that you can't wish for something you don't know. it is better to forget the word god, and anything else we have read. First, you have to realize that existence is this present moment. only this exists. is the absolute. second, wanting to penetrate to the bottom of what this is. for this we must delete any projection. what will you find there? you don't know. Everything that Leo has said, they are just stories. It is not that they are not true, it is that they are just stories in your present moment. unreal. the real is only the moment. true that they are a guide. even so you have to go to the bottom by yourself, without knowing anything. When your self disintegrates and reality is an infinite hole of nothing, not being, is the last frontier. I have managed to cross that door twice, for a certainty: I am. if you die absolutely, you plunge headlong into total emptiness, the manifestation takes place. but not always! so overcoming the fear of that empty death is essential. Today i did that twice, and every time, when it finished, i though: shit, I'm going to be traumatized for ever. This present moment is just...no thing. No life. No self just a nfinite hole. But in a while i already forgot and i could to do again:)) . Because i have faith: i am. So even I'm just nothing, let's be nothing. This nothing feels so good now so it couldn't be so bad. And i remember that times when the source manifested. But wait... maybe it's just an history in my mind...but well, maybe the nothing is just another history :))). Only the present moment is, so let's go deeper and deeper. I'm glad I can talk about it in this forum, because if I talk about it with anyone I know, they would think I have schizophrenia.

The realization of the absolute that Leo speaks of is something that is not easy, at least for me. I think that without something like 5 meo it is impossible, because even if you think that you have realized the absolute, it is not really that, since your mind is still fully functioning. They may be glimpses, but you're still there. but be careful, 5 meo does not guarantee, it only facilitates. I have had many experiences with 5meo which are: infinite emptiness. and that's it. the few times that the absolute has opened up for me has been after having 2 or 3 of those total ego dissolutions where reality is a flat screen that expands to infinity devoid of all life. on the third, the void opens and the inexplicable happens. It's a bomb, not a glimpse. My strategy is to force that absolutely sad emptiness until my being gets used to it. and so in the future not need psychedelics. Sounds like I'm trying to rape god with a conquering ego... and so it is. So a lot of times I get absolute horror, but it's not in my nature to stop. Let's see.

I guess it's a matter of detachment above all

Well, understand...i mean, manifest . I'll give you an example. Today I have done 5 meo dmt, for me it is a serious challenge, since it takes you to the absolute. but the absolute is nothing more than the void. there is nothing to understand here. Today I did it 2 times. first, the horror of total death. reality is nothing...empty. horrible vibration of death. complete hopelessness, complete horror of real non-existence. weeeell... again this, i already know..., but there seems to be something, right? then i did again. the absolute is... nothing, emptiness. This is the void and that's it. zero. but hey, it's not that horrible. let's be the void ,okay. A hole of infinite nothing. Non sense . Infinity emptiness. You need balls to stand this. What I mean by this? that there is something "behind" the void. I have opened up to it two times. not today. Today I knocked at the gates of heaven, and I was filled with a stream of empty horror. I already know this, for me it's ok, it's just another step. you can't stay here, it's a nonsense. What led me to go further with this tool is the certainty that I am. Those two times when I really opened up to it, were a manifestation of the unthinkable. that is enlightenment. the rest are histories. when that happens, it is the glory of existence. The truth. not today. Today just a lesson of detachment . But I'm going to open that door, permanently.

agree more or less. nothing can be circumscribed since reality is unlimited, but it can be understood. the realization of its unlimited or infinite nature is what dissolves any separation and any sense of separate self.

the word is the apple that adam ate, and that immediately expelled him from the garden of eden. we need the word to break the spell of the word. the word must be stripped of all its power, until for you one word is the same as another. just words. the word is an agent of separation. When you name something, you are automatically defining I/act of naming/thing named. subject and object. Self separated. hell of the mind. your present moment must be free of the word to begin to deepen. to free yourself from the word, you have to understand what the word is

Don't be so mysterious and explain what God Realization is for you, what it is to go beyond that, what is non-experience, what is that enlightenment you are talking about. It is not allowed to say: it is so deep that I cannot speak it. the old trick of the zen master . Just try to explain.

society has been forged by violence. war, slavery, ethnic cleansing. from the ancient empires, the tribes of africa, the cannibals of polynesia... no one has been spared. So what do you expect from a world in which the one who is not from your tribe is your enemy to death? gay friendly? It is not friendly at all, neither with gays nor with anyone

the aim is not to achieve a pleasant life, it is to go deep into the understanding of what this is. this present moment that I am. It is crazy not to try if there are the means to do it.

well said. ultimately wisdom is knowing that reality is love manifesting itself. Wisdom is opening your heart to the love that reality is.

have you ever had a complete breakthrough with 5 meo? Become the absolute infinite emptiness. When you talk about God Realization, what is it according to you? god is ....depth. that is not an experience. You are the absolute nothing. void. But the void is an infinite source of... everything. Nothing=Everything=love=this moment=you. Impossible to understand, just it is.