Ninja_pig

Right now I don't spend too much time on this forum, but I can see that I could, which is why I wrote this post. I also use that app, and I deleted all the social media off of my phone (moderating my usage time just didn't work). Also, I think there is a lot to "words on a screen". I spend a lot of time reading on my phone, or reading emails, or reading articles. I'm studying computers in college right now so words on a screen is a large portion of my life. I think it matters which words.

There is a book called My Big TOE by Thomas Campbell that provides a highly sophisticated answer to this question. It might be worth checking out. I have also been watching a lecture series recently that seeks to answer a related question. It's called Awakening From the Meaning Crisis. https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLND1JCRq8Vuh3f0P5qjrSdb5eC1ZfZwWJ Leo also has a video on the topic:

It's so interesting how there are so many people who are experts on so many different topics in this forum. Anyway, for me, it was reading books, listening to seminars, and writing essays that helped me become a better writer. I think that Leo is a really good writer actually, so listening to his videos will make you a better writer. Maybe write a few research papers on various topics that interest you. Explain you ideas in an orderly, clear, and concise manner as if a very large number of people were going to read it. Also, listen to internet debates and engage in debates. Debaters are the most skilled writers in my opinion.

I respectfully disagree with this. Every morning we all make a very important decision, and that is whether or not to kill ourselves. If there really is no meaning, we should just kill ourselves. That is what I would do anyway. I'm not even saying this to be shocking or bleak, it's literally just the most logical option. Anyway, humanity is a beautiful thing, and having a reason to be here is one of the core aspects of becoming human. You can't just dismiss it or life is just grey.

Meaning is such a difficult thing to grasp for me. One thing I have found you can never go wrong with though is to help others. Service to the human race turns any wasted life into a meaningful one.

blunt but true. humility is the antidote to devilry and self deception. Be a seeker, not a preacher.

OK I am just going to assume this is not a troll post. @KoryKat I agree with you that there is a lot of "just be more conscious brahhhh" stuff that goes around on this forum. Although Leo will deny this, I believe that this general attitude is largely perpetuated by him. This is definitely a problem because even if people believe the need to be more conscious, telling them so will do nothing to actually make the more conscious. If you really want to know why this general forum is not exactly results focused though, I will offer an explanation. Of course it is important to pursue things like physical health, wealth, sex life, the lot. And even if you are a "spiritual" person, these are things that you should still consider important. Because they are. Again, the things you mentioned will always be important. A person like Elon Musk is doing very well in general I think. He is doing a lot for society and he is really pushing humanity forward technologically. And I agree we need more people like him, and we should look up to a person like him. I have a poster of him smoking a blunt in my room. The trouble is, though, that these things alone simply do not make people feel happy, fulfilled, and a peace. Have you ever really asked yourself Why you value these types of results so much? Have you ever questioned, "What is is about money, sex, health, success, knowledge, and perseverance that makes me want to pursue it?" Your psyche is deep and nuanced, and the world would not be fixed if everyone had these things. Action is too simple of a solution. You can't just go around "taking massive action" and expect everything to work out. Humans don't work like that. You really have to expand your knowledge, have uncompromising compassion, and seek truth above all else to become fully human. What you ARE, what you CAN BE, it's just so far beyond just things that you can acquire in the "real world". I highly recommend that you look into spiral dynamics and specifically study stage orange. You will find that all of the values listed as being stage orange pretty much exactly line up with how you think. Remember to treat it all with openminded skepticism. There are some things that you will disagree with, or may even become defensive about. Just realize it is a model and is meant to educate and not accuse. So basically, the reason why people are less focused on results is because it is more important to focus on internal matters in your mind and soul in order to truly grow.

A guy comes on here in search of advice, creates a post that is highly insightful and honest, and you respond with THIS? Aren't you supposed to be some self help guru? Why not say something useful? Things like this on this forum cause confusion and judgment that are counterproductive. I really don't know what you were trying to accomplish by saying this. Please help me understand.

@Hello from Russia I'm going to put together a post that goes over every way Leo is wrong and why he's wrong. It's kind of a project so I haven't finished it yet.

This guy has some good insights! Thanks for sharing.

The reason astrology exists is to give people grounds and suggestions for their identity. It's not predictive of reality, but you can make it reality. Example: "I'm a Pisces, so I'm super pragmatic and sensitive, and Jupiter is 50 degrees ahead of earth in its orbit, so that means I can't wipe my ass more than 3 times when I shit this week". There I know something about myself with 0 effort put into introspection. Doesn't matter if it was true, it's true now because I believe it.

In my opinion you can never not be a fool. All you can do is learn in which ways you are a fool, and find out what you don't know. We are all so tiny, all you can do is your best.

@something_else I agree changing your self image is not exactly something you can instantly do, but I think it is true that your self image is largely independent of reality. The idea is that you are not reliant on the outside world in order to know you are a valuable man. This concept is talked about in David Deida's The Way of the Superior Man. In essence, be a rock, unmoved by the ocean waves crashing against it. Maybe you can't just arbitrarily decide to be like this, but you can definitely work towards it. I think state is a poisonous idea because it puts a guy's attention on himself rather than things outside himself. A high value man is generally just living rather than judging himself. If you believe in state it will become a self fulfilling prophecy because it will make you less confident and more prone to fluctuations in "state".

I personally think that interest and curiosity is a choice. You are an intellectual type right? You like to explore various topics? Do the same with people. Every person is a deeply nuanced and complex story that is practically bottomless. All you have to do is listen to them very closely. A person will tell you pretty much tell you all their deepest secrets if the believe that you will listen to them without judgement. If you find people uninteresting, that is either because they are not opening up to you for whatever reason, or because you are not truly listening to them. Give them your full attention, never judge any aspect of a person, but still have boundaries. I know Jordon Peterson is not exactly a trusted source on this forum, but I think he says it pretty well in this video: I also highly recommend the book How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It's basically a handbook for people like you and me who don't automatically know how to be sociable. It will tell you everything there is to know about seeing people as interesting and being more easy going. As far as relationships go, yes there are many girls who will enjoy deep talks with you, but you have to remember to flirt! Don't be %100 cerebral. This is a problem for me personally. I tend to stick to intellectualizing because that's where I'm comfortable. I have to remind myself to stick my neck out a little and be sexual. If you are an INF person like me then you might make this mistake from time to time.

Dude 7g? that's metal. I personally have to drink tea and lay down for the first part of the trip to avoid throwing up, and that's on 4.5g

Fr Fr In my opinion most of the stuff on there is straight up counterproductive (Probably due to the fact that Leo is a mediocre dating coach (Leo if you are reading this I love you its just you are wrong about a lot of the dating stuff))

Why is all this stuff about moderation in masturbation bro-science? I mean, I can see intuitively why moderation may have benefits, but it seems that no one here is interested in actual scientific studies. Can someone PLEASE point me to any case studies or any instances where someone has gathered evidence to support a certain amount of masturbation?

What is this whole concept about "state"? Always have the mindset that you are a 100/100 attractive male. Think about it, you are. You're the shit. You do cool shit, you look good, you know how to give a girl a good time. Always go into interactions with this mindset. This whole concept about state is poisonous, counter productive, and wrong. To maintain your frame, have a deep understanding of who you are and what you want. Make it so nothing in the world could ever make you doubt yourself, especially the shit test of two broad German girls. This is what women are fundamentally attracted to in my opinion. Always be self-assured.

Don't give compliments with the intention to boost the girl's ego or to make yourself look more agreeable. Give compliments in order to sexualize the conversation and move things forward. It's like talking to a close friend except you are being sexual (as in you are commenting on her looks, making sexual jokes, generally flirting). You don't just hand out compliments for no reason, but to let the other person know you like them and want to be close to them.

I wrote this and I think it's a good way to visualize the future. I think it will be interesting to some of you. The idea is to write about one good future and one bad future for yourself. A positive and a negative motivator to do what is right in the present. I encourage you all to do the exercise too. I think it will be useful to just about anyone. Future #1 - The good future This is a possible future 5 years from now if I do the following things: Stop wasting time with short term pleasures (youtube, video games, movies, tv shows, porn) Keep up with my responsibilities (get good grades in school, pursue current opportunities like research) Keep up with my health (meditate daily, work out daily and eat properly) Make new friends and maintain current relationships Keep up with reading and playing the guitar I am close to obtaining my PhD in physics. I'm working on research that I'm interested in. I am very skillful with my craft and I understand the inner workings of my field very well. I can communicate with other experts at a high level and I am amazed daily at the spectacular complexity that I knew was there. I am working in a respectable institution and my future career paths look ripe with opportunity. I feel as though my work is important and is really pushing the field of physics forward. I am proud of the work I have done so far and I really feel like I am living up to my potential. I'm excited for what's to come and I feel as though I'm only getting started. I have the ability to dream. I am inspired by the people I work with and feel uplifted by them. Physical movements are easy for me. I have reached the physical potential I always knew I could have. I can run a 5 minute mile without too much pain. My physique is sculpted and lean. Others compliment me on my looks. Girls I don't know pay attention to me as I walk into a room. I feel comfortable in my own skin. I could take anyone in a fight, but I don't have to because people don't really want to mess with me. I sleep easily. I'm flexible I have a circle of friends that I have a deep connection to. I'm either in a relationship with a girl I truly believe to be the most attractive girl I have ever met or I frequently go on dates with girls I find attractive. I keep up with my mom, dad, brother, and relatives and I know what is going on in their lives. I don't forget people's birthdays. People feel good around me and I feel good around them. I have the ability to make people feel important. I make new friends quickly and often. I can feel what others are feeling. I feel at peace when I'm alone. I can explore my own mind without loosing focus for hours on end. I wake up and go to bed in accordance with sunrise and sunset. I have ultimate piece of mind. I have the ability to fully appreciate the present moment. I am grateful to be alive. Reality feels magical. I can reliably become lucid while I am dreaming. I remember my dreams very well. I'm generally optimistic about myself and the world. I have a deep understanding and love of myself. I can sing and play the guitar with many songs I've memorized and I can do it well enough that others are impressed. More importantly, I deeply enjoy playing guitar and feel at ease when I can escape for a little bit by doing so. I am well read, I have read many of the books I have been interested in for a while. I don't feel in the dark with regards to my knowledge about the world. I feel mentally fit and stimulated. I can use my words quickly and with precision. I speak like a samurai cuts. I speak in a manner that is easy to understand, entertaining, and makes listeners feel smarter by listening to me. I'm quick-witted and funny. Future #2 - the bad future This is a future 5 years from now if I do the following things: Spend unreasonable amounts of time watching YouTube, playing video games, watching tv/movies/porn Let my grades slip and don't follow through on opportunities Neglect to go to the gym and eat aimlessly. Only make friends when the opportunity falls into my lap. Be lazy in my current relationships and offer no effort on my part Quietly forget to read and play guitar I'm in a mediocre university position earning $20 per hour. I'm not really an expert in anything and I'm not particularly good at anything. I kind of just took the easiest path and now I'm not doing awfully, but in my heart I know I have failed. I have completely forgotten about my dreams. I see no real opportunities in science/engineering in front of me. My heart is not in my work. I look forward to the weekends and watch the clock. I'm continually uninspired and seek to do the minimum amount of work possible in my job. I don't feel as though I have an identity. I have a faint idea/memory of what life could be, but I've never really experienced it so I don't really care. I feel numb and my life feels pointless. It doesn't really look like I'll be able to change my position ever. I feel both anxious and lethargic at the same time. Daily life is a workout for me. I don't really have much energy. My body is high in fat and I'm not strong at all. I am kind of disappointed every time I look in the mirror. When I talk to girls I come off as creepy. I can't really feel how my body is doing. I get injured easily and I don't really like doing outdoor activities. I get pimples a lot. I know a couple people that I talk to from time to time but we're not really friends. It's been a long time since I've had sex and there are no good options for me for a relationship. I don't have much of a drive to be sexually active because the porn keeps me sedated. I don't really flow easily in conversation and people don't really want to talk to me. My family doesn't really think about me that much. I don't feel as though I can talk to them easily. I feel cynical and jealous whenever I see others in a relationship or having a good time with friends. I don't have the confidence to talk to anyone new. People politely ignore me generally. Life generally feels dull to me. There is a constant tightness in my chest that I can't get rid of except by numbing the pain with a distraction. I feel all the time. I get very caught up in the day to day events of life. I generally don't feel secure and I'm constantly worrying about the future. I have no idea what dreams even are. I'm not in touch with my emotions. Sometimes I wish I was dead. I know there's something more to life but I can't see it. Life is kind of boring. I don't know how to play the guitar and I haven't finished a book in a long time. My thoughts are murky and speaking is kind of hard for me. People don't really understand me well. I have faint whispers of ideas in my head but can't make them concrete and certainly can't communicate them.

I absolutely love this channel. It's so raw and interesting. My favorite has to be the ex mob boss.

Might be different for other guys, but for me, the time a girl can really get me under her spell is when I believe she is a help and not a hinderance to my other goals in life. If a girl can see in me my dreams, and aspirations and gets excited about them, I want to just have them around all the time. Sexual attractiveness is important, but if your man is dating you at all, that means he is already attracted to you son don't worry about that. Other than that, be sweet, be kind, but also have clearly defined boundaries and don't let him walk all over to you. Be submissive but make him work for it a little. If it's too easy it is sometimes boring. Also be aware that guys are sensitive on the inside no matter how little they may show it. Words really do affect guys and what you say can affect him. Lastly, and probably most importantly, remember that not everything that goes wrong in a relationship is not necessarily your fault. It is indeed very important to take responsibility in a relationship, but there are some things you just can't control. Counterintuitively, the best mindset in general in a relationship is to not be in need of a relationship. Learn to be content on your own and don't need your guy. Love like you have never been hurt, but be able and willing to let go of him when that is the only option. Love yourself no matter what. Don't let your man's opinion of you change the only opinion that truly matters: your own. This will be the most attractive to any guy. Self love videos (please watch these, it's literally the key to a happy life. THE key)

Man I think it would be great to have a discord server or something for this forum. I would make one but if I posted it on here, daddy Leo would smite me in an instant.

Honestly, it might not be your fault! I think some of Leo's pickup advice is good, but some of it is... not. My favorite pickup teacher is John Anthony Lifestyle (Look him up on YouTube). Don't put too much pressure on yourself! Pickup is not a skill that takes forever to learn, despite what Leo might say about it. You don't need to go through some ridiculous amount of self help in order to get laid! Keep hope by reading success stores from people with a similar situation. To solve your problem specifically, I would say be more sexual on your dates. Talk to the girls like you would a friend, but make it sexual! Make sexual jokes, comment on her looks, touch her, frame it so that you will go to your house after the date. Only back off if the girl is getting uncomfortable. Ask for forgiveness not for permission. This will make your dates exciting for the girls and will move things along rather than letting them fizzle out. If a girl sees that you are not being sexual, she will see that you are not willing to be ballsy or maybe even think that you re not interested in her. So sexualize! John Anthony talks about this more in depth on his channel. Again. Highly recommend.

READ!!! GET EDUCATED!!! Education is the process of bringing out your internal knowledge, not acquiring it. Really brah just be well informed, think for yourself, and trust your gut. In my opinion spirituality is very valuable but intuition relies on you being able to think and that really only comes from learning.