The0Self

When it's obvious that the place where you are, is not somewhere you arrived at -- it's where you came from. Sort of. It's not a place you go to from here, it's where you never even really left from.

This is only a play, but it writes sins, not tragedies... in a sense ?... But all sin is merely ignorance (knowing something which is not true). Step into the “light” of non-ignorance and all sin is already forgiven because there was no sin to forgive.

That’s definitely a nice inquiry

^^^ The only "dead end" would be thinking oneself to be fully enlightened. As long as that thinking doesn't happen, one is at the very least not bound by the aforementioned dead end.

1. Ask your self “am I actually ‘something’?” Then... Notice that you aren’t actually hearing this, even though it very likely will seem that you are. And of course no one notices that — because there isn’t anyone. 2. Or pray to God and see how you’re unable to see that there’s God praying to itself via an imaginary human, even though you are that. It’s hard to accept (not even possible for self) that things don’t matter. Hard... Raw. You aren’t alone in going through that (story). There being no more battles can take some getting used to. No need to rush into that.

In a way yeah it’s like there’s only one thing and you are that. But really it’s much more absolute... but simultaneously nothing. It’s not even really like bang you’re liberated... It’s more like all the sudden it’s recognized that the search is already over. (Might sound the same but those are quite different.) It really is a fading out of the grasping madness of truth seeking.

Even small amounts will raise tolerance but if you didn’t feel anything then you could probably get full effects whenever. But since you felt something, I’d definitely wait 7-10+ days IF you’re wanting strong effects. Mushroom tolerance doesn’t seem to be quite as bad as LSD, as for that it’s best to wait 12-14 days.

? Can attempt to describe it in many ways. One way to put it: the revelation that there is already only completeness. Not even that. Inescapable boundless completion. Simply and utterly no need for more or less of this or that.

When you reach what you’re pointing to, the whole world wakes up with you. No one is asleep while you’re awake. There’s no one to help. It doesn’t make sense.

1) How long are you into spiritual path? 7-8 years, but the path didn’t really start until the last ~2 — that’s an important distinction. In my estimation, once the path to truth-at-all-costs begins, it ain’t taking more than a few years at the most... ? it would be unbearable... unless detouring massively. Once the path starts, a hallmark I can illuminate is: embarrassment of your own naivety 3 days ago, on a constant running basis — it’s that swift — i.e. it ain’t taking 20 fucking years. 2) How many trips on psychedelics have you experienced? And what psychedelics? Hundreds. Lots of psychedelics (practically all of them aside from obscure research chems, though I’ve tried some of those too) and some dissociatives. Favorites include: LSD-25, 5-MeO-DMT, RS-ketamine, N,N-DMT. 3) How often do you meditate? Automatically (without any intention or effort) nearly all the time, but an occasional 10 minute sit every now and then. Used to sit up to 5 hours a day — Jhana access, witnessing, noting, etc. Learned primarily from Culadasa’s TMI, and also STF and TWIM and many others like Kenneth Folk and Daniel Ingram, Buddha/Sutras, etc. Ramana style inquiry; Witnessing; etc. Adyashanti... etc etc... 4) Has your life gotten better or worse? How? Literally a different order of being. Incomparable to what I was before. Nothing that makes sense on either side makes sense on (or relates to) the other. But before the path resolved so completely, I followed a book called Seeing That Frees by Rob Burbea as an adjunct to my meditation practice, and I would say I was about 10x happier than I was before getting skilled at meditation. I did a Metta practice during daily activities — this seemed to be associated with my relationships seeming to magically fall perfectly into place in easy flow. Highly recommend Metta, though I don’t really practice these days. Anything that uncovers the underlying natural flow of the dream-world-universe = good. Don’t underestimate how powerful meditation can be. If you are unaware that some of the states access-able in meditation are more intensely blissful than the cleanest drugs in existence, well now you know — believe it or not. There’s more to life than meditation, but having access to clean and as-overwhelming-as-you-want bliss at any given time? Or even some modicum of that? It can change you in a really nice way, and allows you to move onto other things. That had nothing to do with enlightenment, though at the time I was quite sure it did. Buddhist paths to enlightenment hardly make sense to me anymore... To wake up, you simply must want to wake up to truth at all costs, and that’s literally all there is to it! ? Keep on going until the end of knowledge and seeking is reached — nothing further to know, literally. And not even that, really. And it actually does not make sense — that may well be the strangest part about this. 5) What are your main insides, want advice could you give to others? This is the entire whole. Alone. Already. It’s funny how many times I heard that yet didn’t (couldn’t) even hear it. There is only God’s plan — play. Plan is rather misleading as it suggests time — there is only timeless infinite creation; play. If you’ll excuse the word God — it’s not important. Your whole problem as a seeker is that: You actually are not seeing what cannot be simpler! Right now... It’s like there’s the pretense of not getting a joke. You aren’t “the void and not the play.” You light up both and are everything but not anything in particular. There’s no fixed you witnessing what’s appearing. There’s just what appears, it’s everything, there’s no separate person, and what appears isn’t actually something that appears. There’s no it. If you think you’ve been seeking truth, and you think you’ve been doing it for more than 3 years, then your next step is to realize you’ve really been doing something other than seeking truth. The only truth is that there is truth — I am THAT I am. To want enlightenment is to misunderstand it. Any claim to knowledge is a confession of ignorance.

Yeah, I experienced similar, especially with ketamine. Really it was just indescribable though. The spiritual ego is the one who believes that whatever it is experiencing or doing, whether positive or negative, has some higher purpose. There is no need to end it. When it is fully exited, it's seen that it's either that or nothing, so you go back in, and everything is exactly the same but seen as appearance rather than truth -- although since truth is all there is, appearance is not separate from truth. A non-I living in a non-world, but what you really are is not of the world. There can still be the appearance of higher purpose, in a sense... It's just not for anyone.

That kind of stuff really does seem to work. More "integrated living" in general can be quite fruitful. Prayer works too, especially inward prayer for alignment with truth, rather than prayer to an external God for some personal benefit.

I figured so, but even still, the distinction I made is a meaningful one. And it seemed to me you were indicating that there really is a self, which is not the case. The integrated state of true self I speak of is a less contracted way of being than that of being ego-bound. The higher self you speak of though (absolute/God) isn’t higher in the same way, because it’s simply all there is and has no discernible qualities, other than the limitlessness of having no qualities. I just simply wouldn’t ever refer to the ultimate (God) as higher self, because it really isn’t higher — i.e. it’s just Self or consciousness without other — and considering there also does appear to be an illusory higher self, the absolute isn’t illusory and thus isn’t said illusory higher self. To be clear, I’m not disagreeing, just making an additional distinction.

If it's quality, 100-125ug will be an utterly incredible experience. Then it was likely weaker than advertised. Or perhaps some medication may be blocking it to some degree. Sometimes with 110-140ug, I could hardly see the room I was in, because the visual effects and the senses were so bright and intense.

Secure Score Mother/CG1: Anxiety: 1.00 | Avoidance: 2.17 Score Father/CG2: Anxiety: 1.67 | Avoidance: 1.50 Score Partner: Anxiety: 1.67 | Avoidance: 2.67

Both are, but higher self is a far more integrated and interesting playpen, which I can only recommend... to everyone.

Enlightenment. It’ll happen just as soon as it’s actually what’s longed for. Right now, if it is indeed what appears (not saying it is), then what’s longed for is a mock journey to said imagined state. There is only what is longed-after, already.

God realization in that sense wouldn’t really be God realization, but yeah upon fully recognizing you’re God there isn’t much need for terms like God anymore. Not only that, but there isn’t actually even a you as a separate self so there is no God as a separate thing or person. Any God talk after enlightenment, it seems, rather glosses over the amazing direct reality of there being no separation of any kind. Basically there is no God unless you mean all that is. Words fail... However, the distinctions made here do seem apt, rather than (only) being mere conjecture, simply because: many who realize god think there’s still an ultimate enlightenment to be attained... or “even worse,” they think they’ve reached the end of the path when really they’re still under the illusion of self — which would seem to be the most effective imprisonment possible. Not saying anything is wrong with imprisonment in that sense though — not at all. Plus it’s just words anyway. You’re of course not not-God, though, as there is no actual you (duality) to begin with.

What’s true is never born and never dies — doesn’t necessarily not exist.

Insincerely Unserious -> Sincerely Serious -> Sincerely Unserious. ?

LSD + ketamine. Like 8 years ago while living in parents house. Cops came. I could see that everything was an infinite play, free will is an illusion, and since it was the first time I actually saw this, I thought surely the cops and paramedics would be thrilled to hear this shocking news. It freaked them out or they just thought I was wacked on drugs — especially since ketamine makes you slur your speech. They stuck me with some tranquilizer. I tripped even harder in the hospital. It was a pretty insane trip and one of my first glimpses of “something more.” I legit couldn’t tell which character in the room was the one that I myself was playing. Very strange messianic narratives were materializing out of and evaporating into infinity rapidly. Ego death + mild psychosis.

? ❤️ Back atcha!

Logic and reason is somewhat necessary but not even approaching sufficient. All one really needs is focused intent + a desire for truth -- by being more averse to falsehood than death, which at any given time, one either is or they aren't. Therefore, the most important thing on the path is illuminating one's desires -- most do not even know what their authentic desires are. Universe always gives you what you truly want, but that will of course only be recognized if you know what you truly want. The mind protects itself from being "found out" far more than I think nearly everyone assumes. Ever followed a dedicated inquiry into emptiness of self and all the sudden the mind just slows down and refuses to go further, and so you try harder and it just takes you down any path other than the direct obviousness that there is no self? That's because illusoriness is all-encompassing. That's why desire, and the resultant focused-intent extended over long periods, is crucial. Delusion (knowing as true what is false) is prior to perception, so two-ness (falseness) fills the entire view. You've got that to contend with, and it is virtually insurmountable -- its destruction is only assured with a desire and focus that is absolute, or at the very least a strong knack for very powerful feeling-intuition. Logic and reason really just ain't gonna cut it.

Take the play of Romeo and Juliet. Is it ultimately true that their love for each other caused them to kill themselves? Obviously not. Why not? Well, because it's just a play. If anything caused that to happen, it was (for example) the money being paid by guests (or just something going on in real life) which in turn caused actors to pretend to be characters which then kill themselves in the play (story) -- but to make the forthcoming analogy more accurate, let's say there is only the play... meaning of course that nothing caused their deaths because the only cause was the money; preparation; real life and we've just established there is no real life in this example simply because there is only the play. Okay? Alright then: Their love is not really a cause of their suicide -- but it is a cause in the play (story) only. In the same way, getting hit in the head is not really a cause of the mind getting "weirded up" -- but it is a cause in the story only. Though there isn't something other than the appearance of the story -- no hidden process "making it all work" -- the story still has no actuality. Causality is only apparent, not actual -- everything is only apparent, not actual. The infinite has no needs -- such as the requirement of actuality.

It's not possible to say whether anything is true already, drugs or no drugs. But for instance, psychedelics can blow apart the belief systems of the materialist paradigm such that the beliefs can no longer arise again, because they never had any substance to begin with. Anything tangible where there could be a question of "whether it's true" is not what I'm talking about -- those types of insights are basically mayko as they pertain to the universe, which has no actuality anyway.