The0Self

You sound like someone who just awakened yesterday. If your chest tightened when you read that, you still have a position to defend. If absolutely nothing happened, you may have the abiding enlightenment goods. If you felt both of the following: completely inwardly unbothered by it, while at the same time having outward anger towards me, that's narcissism.

Nice. Yeah DXM + cannabis can be a bit much sometimes. It's very GOD but rather psychotic too. I don't think I'll be doing it ever again, especially since I have access to ketamine. I too experience anxiety with cannabis more so than with conventional psychedelics, strangely.

Meditation. Serious meditation. Adequate protein and carbs, and minimal but sufficient fat. I used to think sugar was the devil and fat was great but that doesn't seem to be the case. Interesting rice was an issue for you. White rice gives me energy and clarity.

I didn't feel anything off 600mg ALA + 100mg DMSA e3h for 30+ day rounds, fwiw. I mean, I didn't get side-effects. The brain fog and fatigue went away. And ALA only affects mercury (and arsenic, which is not as big of a deal). DMSA chelates lead and mercury. Btw 64 hours is too short. That's cutting it way too close -- healing/damage ratio is positive by the 72 hour mark for adults, and maybe 60 hours for small children, but you might as well get the ratio as high as possible... Aim for 96+ hours; preferably 7-14+ days. The longer the better, provided you keep copper under control. You CANNOT take ALA for long cycles without zinc (and preferably molybdenum too) 4x/d, or you will be profoundly overloaded with copper.

I worked 11a-9:30p at a women's department store for a while. With a 1 hour lunch break. Physical work. It didn't bother me at all. Maybe because I used it as pickup practice. I have a history with high level competitive sports since I was 10, so maybe that trained my work capacity. Squatting 315 lb deep leaves me more drained than a 10 hour work day. Mentally demanding tasks might be a different story, but I was planning to be a doctor at one point and the undergraduate course load I was taking + the planning with this goal in mind came pretty close. Meditation at high levels can be very demanding as well, when done with enough complexity to induce the flow state.

They have some good and bad qualities. I wonder if a self-aware psychopath is possible. On one hand they have virtually no shame, but on the other hand they're a walking lie -- however most people are, in some way, psychopaths are just very aware of it. The thing that makes me lose hope for them is the fact that every single one of them is narcissistic -- I'm not sure how this quality can be redeemed, at least as far as self-awareness is concerned. And one aspect of psychopathy is lack of fear, so it would seem they're not very neurotic or constricted... however what flies in the face of this is any threat to their self image -- they seem to protect their self image like it's the only thing that matters. Almost all psychopaths are grandiose narcissists who actually cannot hear criticism -- it seems like they take criticism as an attack, and I wouldn't be surprised if they pretty much never look inward. Just watched the weak sense of self part -- yeah; makes sense. And the gray rage seems like a tumultuous attempt to put their self-image back in check -- "no way in hell I'm gonna let this person wrongly assume I'm not powerful."

A pretty decent source on how to get into investing is Phil Town, from what I remember. He has a podcast called InvestEd. If you don't want to put a lot of time into conscious investing in individual companies; discounting cash flows; etc, you might just want to at least use an index, preferably the S&P but NOT just the standard SPY/market-cap-weighted index... but rather, modified to be equal-weighted (so it's not almost entirely in only the top 5 or 6 biggest caps), which consistently has a larger return than market cap weighted. There are also conscious-funds. And vice-funds -- casinos, tobacco, liquor, etc. Vice generally outperforms conscious though.

@OneHandClap DXM is quite dirty, but it (like anything) can certainly bring about a Godhead experience when combined with cannabis. Psychosis as well. It's especially powerful with cannabis -- more than pretty much anything else. I'd try to get some ketamine if you have a high affinity for dissociatives -- I too seem to get a ton of mileage with dissociatives, but combining them with psychedelics and weed is where they truly shine. Some of the states I've experienced from LSD are ridiculously lofty for humans, but when it's combined with ketamine, I seem to have accessed what I can only describe as "the arena," wherein like-minded-compound-beings of all sorts are allowing you to merge into them through shared ego death -- I feel like I have so much more to say about it but can't even begin. It's ineffable.

I intuitively feel this to be true as well, for the most part. But I can imagine negative entities might be able to offer magical help at a price, usually that the victim/sorcerer/whatever is unaware of, or vastly underestimates.

Yes, quite a few times. One of them sticks out, in that it was before I really got into consciousness work, and it had a different characteristic than the rest: I experienced a being with a tail that I was merging with, and it felt like a personification in serpent or dragon form of my nervous system -- this is the last moment I remember being a materialist, mainly because I also felt the reality, whether hallucinated or whatever, that this was all in the mind of God, and there's nothing other than that -- the vantage point I was looking from was shared with absolutely everything and I felt infinitely connected to every other being who ever has or will exist. Another time I was going to sleep at night and a female looking white colored being flew into me as if possessing me. And once I was on so much LSD I could barely see the room I was in, and on the other side of the room was a large neutral being who took out a spirit-bow looking thing, and shot me in the eye, and the arrow pierced my whole visual system, slowed time down to almost a dead halt, and started reverberating energy throughout my body for what felt like days. And of course hundreds upon hundreds of other psychedelic, dream, etc encounters. I've done astral projection many, many times as well but rarely see other beings when I do this.

If you're not investing (partaking in the capital gains that are already present), you're gonna get left behind, and those resources will just go to someone else who may or may not have your values.

Happy (late?) birthday! You're an incredibly prominent force of integrity, depth, intelligence, profundity, and wisdom. Seems so.

^^ And OP, if that's the case, finding out what you DO want to be doing is probably good practice -- but it's something I've struggled with and don't have much of an answer for. Even though it might sound wise to me, and may even help you (or me), it wouldn't be coming from a place of much direct experience or deep understanding.

I guess it depends: how much sexual chemistry did y'all have? For me, this type of thing, with someone who I shared an intense sexual and romantic relationship with, very often leads to sex, rekindled feelings, and someone getting hurt. Not always, but quite often.

Not very many of them They contribute in other ways They see reality as not having something (evil) outside of it to oppose it, so are not driven to "do good" in the same way -- at least not in very public ways since they don't depend on admiration in the same way Perhaps

@ilja I guess you could say another answer to your question is: Infinity. But that's not an answer with much explanatory power. It's a mystery, ultimately. Infinite intelligence. God is only everything, so if there is an assumption that someone sometimes see's something other than it -- that assumption is a hidden knowing or belief about God/truth, and knowing the unknowable is a contradictory dream that seems real.

The certain one attempts to crucify the awake one within -- but the awake one is untouchable, and the certain one is imaginary. Imaginary since, by definition, one can't actually be certain of something that's unknowable, so if this illogical possibility seems to happen, it's just an illusion. This doesn't mean one can't colloquially "know"/understand things about the mystery -- there just won't be any certainty or doubt. If one is ever certain of something, they could notice that, and realize it's impossible -- well, if they are certain but being certain is impossible, then that identity is clearly impossible -- they're in a circular dream. Apart from that delusion, all-that-is/God doesn't delude itself, it just fills emptiness and empties fullness.

Deeply reflecting upon past, and inspecting present, occasions wherein you experienced knowing something to be one way, but later found out it was not that way.

The obstruction is beliefs about your self that you’re identified with, which are not up to “you” to change, simply because “you” are defined by that belief in the first place. My God, it’s a strange loop... As far as, “what practices have people done that seem to lead others to assuming they’re enlightened, in a story?” Many pretty much boil down to seeing that what appears is concocted by you, including the idea that the appearance somehow at-all-accurately signifies something real behind the appearance, which hides as a belief. It’s not really possible to stop believing this just-like-that, but what some seem to do is just see over and over again something along the lines of “oh wow, I fully believed X was _____ way, but I was actually totally wrong, and yet I believed it; experienced it, as reality... What else am I experiencing as real when it isn’t?”

Or any other permutations of belief. The mind can believe every which way, and evidence for that belief will arise. When the belief apparently no longer arises, evidence for it no longer arises. The mind seems to build experience through a process like this. When building is seen, the party is over in a sense. You can’t believe in Santa Claus anymore, try as you might. There’s nothing to get, really — it’s the opposite of knowing “I know that’s true.” I’m not telling you anything, it only seems that way; these are just words happening. There’s nothing I know that you don’t know.

Exactly. Truly. OP: Not that I’m saying you’re definitely trying to debunk anything. I’m taking you at your word that you just want the truth (or at least you think you do). I guess you could believe reality is hypnotized — it’d still just be what apparently happens — that never changes and I’m unsure how that could be argued against, but I suppose one could try.

We have to either defend or give you the answer. But there’s no one here to defend, and there is no answer that can be given, friend.

It’s almost too simple. It’s not really something to get your knickers in a twist over. Hence, the unrestrained laughter and profound safety and freedom. The truth is beyond you, or me, since it is by definition the only thing.

Perfect ?

Agreed. I don’t see why it’s not possible either.