Vrubel

I took this girl home on our second date. She was super into me, we intimately danced, made out and basically, all the touch barriers were breached. Throughout our date I felt very grounded, masculine and secure. We didn't have sex because of responsibilities she had the next morning and she needed to take the last train, so basically because of logistics (we only spent a little over a half-hour at my place). I could tell she was having a good time and would have had easily slept over if it wasn't for these logistics. If I was more of a pick-up pro I would have definitely slept with her but I made the judgment that day to let her go, out of respect, non-neediness, and a sureness that she would come back. But the next week when I started to plan our next date she came with the "as a friend" spiel. She is not my only option but I am still bummed out that she left and I mainly want to learn from this experience. Was I not enough of a dick? (though I definitely created negative spikes, most of the time I am very gentlemanly. I also have the balls to kiss her and escalate with touch. So why would she leave after the sexual tension, trust, and the very decent investment on her part?

@bejapuskas @Fleetinglife People did whatever was necessary to survive. I can make statements about how people were more animal than people in the past, yet I am just not that judgemental and I also don't have that black and white vision of victims and oppressors. Let's take Ghengis Khan, he was an absolute maniac that spread death, destruction and disease from Korea to Crimea. Yet I don't have the urge to hate and demonize him. Why would I spend my energy on that? He was simply a force of history. Fun fact: He literally catapulted plague diseased corpses into a Genoese settlement in Crimea. The Genoese fled back home and introduced the plague to Europe. 1/3 of Europe died, absolute tragedy but then what? Due to diminished population, labor became more valuable resulting in more rights, the abolishment of serfdom, technological inventions, the renaissance, the reformation etc. AKA progress. Just give thanks to Ghengis Khan for the fact that you're not a peasant who is forced to work the land 24/7. Nothing is black and white in history. Napoleon killed a lot of men, most notably a whole generation of French youth but he also spread the ideals of the French revolution which made absolute monarchies in Europe unsustainable. He introduced the Napoleonic code, abolished the Inquisition and emancipated Europes jews. That's progress! Even the sheer horror of the ww2 and the Holocaust pacified Europe and the world to a historically unprecedented degree. Look how tolerant places like Germany are now. Colonialism isn't evil, it's progress! Chompsy wouldn't be alive to criticize America if it wasn't for America. Him being born in America and not Europe saved him from the Holocaust. And so was-and-is America a safe haven for millions of people. Just Think of all the inventors, scientists, businessmen, entertainers and even spiritual teachers America produced that make your life so much easier. The harsh fact is that this never would have happened if America was never colonized the way it was.

@Fleetinglife I have read your lengthy reply and I appreciate your well-informed take on this subject you are clearly passionate about. It's true that most European colonizers did not care the slightest about the well-being of the natives. The few people that did were exceptional religious figures like Bartolomé de las Casas. As somebody who traveled throughout South America, I am well aware of the barbarity and the horror the Europeans unleashed upon America. The destruction of cultural treasures, the inquisition, slavery, silver mines and all under a rigid cast system based on race. But why did they do this? The answer: Life in 1500's and 1600's Europe was absolute misery and a struggle for survival. You had plagues, religious wars, civil wars, the little ice age, hunger etc. Why would they feel compassionate towards some foreign heathen when you struggle yourself so much and all you know is some intolerant religious worldview that deems those that are different as sinners. Also, the natives were not just innocent victims, I think it's very disrespectful towards them to just only think of them like that. They were brave warriors, shamans, stonemasons, artists, and traders, and still are! They conquered, build civilizations and empires and like all the rest they fell. War was a fact of life for both the natives as well as the Europeans. History is brutal and both the natives and Europeans navigated this brutal world they were born in, the best they could. That's also why I think It's silly to feel offended if a helicopter (which is a pretty badass machine) is called after a native tribe. Hitler wouldn't call his helicopters jew or gypsy because he was just disgusted by them, he had zero respect or intrigue for them. I think it's good that a bit of native terminology and culture seeped into mainstream American culture. That's just one of many ways how their culture lives on.

People celebrate Columbus because he stands symbol for the spirit of pioneering and discovery. (with emphasis on symbol). He was after all the man that connected two worlds, that's huge in world history. We know that Columbus was very stubbornly ignorant, bigoted, exploitative and a slaver (as was the norm at the time) but you cannot really accuse him of genocide because he never intended to exterminate a race. 90% of America's population died of European disease, which is a mindboggling tragedy even surpassing Europe's plagues. You can blame the Europeans for going to America and bringing the diseases but in a sense, the native Americans were the victims of history and just plain human progress and evolution. European settlers not coming to America to form colonies and ultimately nation-states at the expense of the natives is something that never could have happen knowing the ambitions, struggles and worldviews of the people at the time. Also the Apache, Blackhawk helicopter names are mostly out of respect for the warrior spirit of the respective natives. Intrigue and fascination along with bigoted racism was also part of the European relations with the natives. The native Americans truly deserve our compassion and understanding for their struggles and tragic loss but framing them as just victims and to over-fucus on the political correctness of semantics does not do justice to their role in history as fearsome tribes that fought the Europeans as well as against each other.

@Harlen Kelly @Leo Gura Update: I sent her: Eey (name), let's meet up she replied with: "I don't get it, so you do want to be friends?" I want to reply: I never do this but for you I can make an exception or Sure, let's meet as friends (I will reply the next day)

Okey I will say to her: Eey (name), Let's meet(; (in Dutch) The fact that we have said our goodbyes will make this comical and cheeky if she interprets it well. If I am lucky she will counter with her friends premise, then I will go along and say that for a time we can meet as friends

@Harlen Kelly Oke, I will send the simplified message tonight

When we were leaving my place she got (very slightly) disappointed because she missed some plants I said to her that she will see them next time. Also when I escorted her to the station I purposefully turned away from her but she kept standing close to me, right by my chest. The only worrisome thing that she said to me is that she considers herself just an "average level of fun". Maybe she was being vulnerable but usually, girls will boast and qualify themselves in front of guys they like. But maybe this is just nonsense. @Harlen Kelly @Leo Gura Can I send her this (but in Dutch): (Name), I don't normally do this and it's a huge exception, but since we both really had a good time together, I'm willing to continue our relationship as friends and meet up as simply friends

@Harlen Kelly You make good points. My goodbye text to her was actually kinda cute I made an inside joke that she was more than "an average level of fun" and then I wished her the best. She reacted positively to me and also wished me the best. What should I text her, if anything at all? Can I say: I usually never do this but I really enjoyed our time together so I will not mind spending some time as friends.

We already wished each other the best so it's very much so swallowing my pride to ask her on another date "as friends".

@Harlen Kelly Sure, I could have done that but that's A: very manipulative (It goes against my integrity and is a very beta tactic) B: I have options and I'd rather not waste my time on girls that are not into me. C: She probably just said it to be polite without having real intentions to do so. If I was a dick/creep she would have just ghosted me but because I was mostly gentlemen she at least respects me at that level @charlie cho Why? It didn't break my heart so why would it break yours?

Thanks for the advice and help @Gili Trawangan It was not a shittest or defense she really lost interest in me. She sent me a whole respectful paragraph and offered to see each other again but as friends. I told her honestly that I am not interested in being friends and that we can meet and take it slowly from there. But she refused. We respectfully departed ways. On our date we have spent more than 3 hours in multiple places and at some point we headed back to the train station, she was asking me to stay a little longer. I said: "no, at some point it's enough" (in Dutch). This was a "push" and clearly a negative spike for her. At the moment of departure, I said: "we can do two things, we either grab each our own train or you come with me to see my plants (I am into plants)" and so she was very happy to take my train to my town and place. I see myself as a very high-value young man: due to my psychedelic use I am (relatively) spiritually evolved, chill, centered, fearless and loving. I am very expressive (especially with my eyes), I have ambitions, a job, passions, I know a lot about history, botany, geography, I do art, have my own place and I travel a lot. My weak points are mainly due to my inexperience with women and enormous introversion. Also, I care very little about sport. (I am short and thin) Also, she knew I was high value because she would have seen other girls staring at me when I was with her. Also when we first kissed she was super receptive but maybe I am a horrible kisser. But yeah the real chemistry just wasn't there.

Help, I am clueless. I have LSD blotters, how do I microdose? Do I just cut them up with a razor blade?

@RobertZ @Ora @Kamo Thank you so much!

@Striving for more Please don't be disrespectful on my thread. I appreciate your honest expression but you sound very immature. Yes, It's normal to manifest desperation and you probably will f*ck up a lot of approaches/texts/dates because of that, that's just part of the learning process. The important thing is to remain steadfast and results will be guaranteed. Also, nobody is desperate for sex all the time, you probably feel just fine most of the time. Do some meditation or explore psychedelics to gain some centeredness, strength and wisdom. Holding a grudge against women because of being rejected a lot is a very predictable egoic trap, if you had some consciousness you would have shaken of these toxic thoughts and attitudes pretty easily.

Since this spring I started approaching women in the streets. A huge motivating factor was that I thought of myself as a very attractive guy. Like before I knew about even the existence of the possibility that you can approach a woman on the street, I would get a lot of attention from girls when I was simply walking and running errands in the city. Girl's heads would turn, they'll look straight into my eyes, often being all feminine and bewildered, sometimes smiling and even glowing. Hot girl would feel my presence even before I turn the corner and they actually saw me. These "magical" moments of attraction were very common for me. The very reason girls were so intrigued by me was because I had a very secure, strong and even spiritual energetic presence. (I am short and not that good-looking). But now that I started approaching women in the streets there is none of that magic. Women don't look at me when I am doing "sets" and the only result that I got so far was a few dates with just barely-average-looking girls. Nothing more. I feel it's because doing day-game and scouting out girls to approach is an inherently needy activity. The paradox is of course that when you cannot care less about girls you will get a lot of attention from them but when you are doing an activity that involves actively scouting and approaching girls you will stop existing for them. There is inherent neediness and the power balance advantage is with the girl. Is there a way to be energetically secure/strong and still actively seek out women and approach?

@Esilda Women intuitively understand dating and the dynamics involved, most men are not so socially wired and need to learn this. You can be a "self-fulfilled" attractive guy but if you are a reclusive and autistic ape when it comes to interacting with women you will remain forever alone. Guys learning the proper dynamics of dating is also for the benefit of girls. Maybe you will never meet your dream prince because he has a limiting belief that approaching women is needy and that he is not yet "self-fulfilled" enough. Again: watch the virtue signaling and projections, Both sexes have their own struggles when it comes to dating, but you don't seem very understanding of the struggles of men

Connect? Ouch, I even get rejected when I just try to share my perspective and understanding.

All guys want connection but connection alone is not going to satisfy his core need. A woman can be lustful and promiscuous but at the end of the day, her core need is intimacy/connection. What? No. If a guy dates a girl and they have sex after a few dates, that means that a sufficiently deep connection was successfully built. Or if the men and women are clubbing, are horny and go for a one-night-stand this also means a connection was built. Maybe in a short time but maybe that connection was really intense. Of course, there is always the risk of bad sex.

I stated the core biological needs of both sexes. Yes, it's a generality but a pretty solid one. Your examples don't disprove this. This is what all girls say, it's your core need. Normal women are not prostitutes, they all have standards and need a connection in order to have sex. A guy facilitates this connection by being attractive to you.

This is definitely true, that's evolutionary biology for you. It's harsh. For women and men but in different ways. I have by the way no interest in having a "man vs women" discussion. I understand this is your feminine perspective as what I wrote was my masculine perspective. The one is not better than the other. Your need is first and foremost for romance, intimacy, "decency" and emotional connection. You think of this as a pure angelic wish, this is your rainbows and sunshine. Your most heavenly fantasy. A guy wants that too but his biggest priority with women is sex. men equate sex with rainbows and sunshine. His most heavenly fantasy is a harem.

The need for sex is something a guy feels on a daily basis in varying intensities. It is a deep biological need that really has the potential to f*ck you up if you don't deal with it properly. So it is crucial that men learn to handle and satisfy this need but at the same time, It is very much so looked down upon if you are honest about actively pursuing women to satisfy this need. Guys want emotional connection too but it is not their priority. It is virtue-signaling if you start your spiel about how much you value love and emotional connection and guys that "just" want sex are creeps. The comment was a tacit example of this feminine and societal attidute. That's totally understandable, there is no judgment here. After all, as a society we cannot admit we are horny animals and as men, we cannot explicitly admit that we first and foremost want sex from women.

@Esilda I love that you brought this up because this is typical of how most women think about game. Notice the tacit virtue-signaling and disgust you have for game. I am not judging you because this is how 90% of women think about the concept of "game". What you don't understand is this: If you get approached on the streets by a strong, confident, charming good-looking guy you will go home and tell your girlfriends enthusiastically that this very cute boy approached you and you will probably note that he was tall, dark whatever. (even though it was a more unconscious primal or spiritual-energetic aspect that ultimately won you over). Now if you get approached by a dark soul loner with poor social calibration your face will shrivel up in disgust and you'll go home and tell your friends that a maniac approached you. You will then reiterate the importance of #metoo and feminism. Strong guy = massive survival value for you therefore everything he does "I accept and think is cute". You will yield massively to him. Dark soul nerdy guy = "Ewwwwwwww. Please get him away from me." Of course, these are two extreme examples. But ultimately your biggest problem with game is that it is a seemingly love devoid statistical endeavor and that a "creep" can grow into a stud that you are attracted to. As a guy, I think the best thing that "game" teaches me is how to act whenever I meet a girl that is just my type or we are in love. When there is a match like this girls assume everything will be smooth and effortless. But you have no idea how easily an inexperienced guy can ruin a match made in heaven. I personally was so inexperienced and insecure that when an absolute tenner fell in love with me there was nothing I could do. I actually broke her heart with my inexperience and insecurity.

This tells me you know nothing about women

It is not an excuse, I am planning on continuing (I even hired coaching for the coming weekend). It’s just when I day game I come into this state of consciousness that is “seeking/scouting” almost plotting. As in contrast to being energetically centered, secure and deeply strong as whenever I am just running errands. I was asking for advise to overcome this issue and ideally combine my attractive non-needy state with the scouting (more needy) aspect of actively day gaming. I am extremely introverted so day game is pretty much my only hope.