BlackMaze

@Gesundheit thank you. You are right maybe i should start by learning more about radical self honesty.

I know what i want and also know how to get it. I chose my wants. To actually create them though needs something more. To 100% mean it. I don't feel that i 100% mean it when i make a decision to create something even though i am very sure that i want it happen. Any ideas?

As i understand it everyone is born different. Different genetics for example and from birth each one tends to have a certain personality. Of course an ego is formed along the way and it's this sense of self that is an illusion. If someone is free from identification with the ego is he/she also free from his unique personality? What is the right balance there? Can someone function in this world and be successful for example without a healthy dose of ego or without embracing the character traits or tendencies he is born with (personality)?

@LastThursday Your answer was very enlightening. Thank you very much i think that this helped me understand where i'm stuck. @Forestluv thank you. What is an efficient way to unclog the pipes? Other than gradualy increasing the inspiration by setting goals? @Gesundheit you are right of course. If i subconsciously want to continue smoking this is clearly a problem. If my authentic desire is self harm for whatever reason i need to change it somehow to genuinely want to be healthy. Is there a way to do that?

@Gesundheit i appreciate your answer but this is not exactly what i'm looking for. I want to activate an inspiration to do all the things you mentioned naturally without fighting anything. @commie this is not a metaphor it's as simple as the example i gave. To start cooking pasta at all you first need the vision either you do it conciously or not. To clarify things a bit. I just read the 6th book from the booklist about how to be a creator. This book gave me a new understanding of things. I want to be able to apply what i learned fully. Just trying to find how to go fully in the creative orientation and understand what i don't understand.

@commie you want to cook pasta today let's say. First you need the vision of pasta. I don't mean anything different than that.

@commie i don't know exactly what you mean but i don't consider myself a believer either. The when i can is not enough. I want to do the right thing effortlessly by choice and willpower is not the answer. @Forestluv so if the i is removed the actions will align themselves with a vision? Of course i agree with this. I'm not at all saying that anything will happen just because i made a vision for something. I'm not looking to be just a dreamer. As i found out willpower is not the solution. It is possible to work my ass off and just drive by resistance without sweat. I experienced this in my life some times. Those are the times that i feel inspired to create the vision no matter what. I just know that it will happen. The question is how do i enter this state?

@commie so do you have a solution for this? Because this is what i'm trying to find by asking this question. How do i align my actions so that i'm not an obstacle to the vision.

How do you know that? I don't agree or disagree just curious how you came to that conclusion. I'm referring to the pre-planned purpose. For the intelligent design i would say that it's obvious.

So i guess the answer to everything is to stay silent and appreciate the present moment?

@LastThursday ok let's have a specific example. I understand more or less what you mean but i think it depends on what you are creating. For example i want to be a non smoker. I can form a vision of being a non smoker and not being bothered ever again by cravings. If i could have this i would take it. Then i choose to do it. This choice doesn't seem 100% honest. Maybe i'm too addicted or my character is weak. I can't just let it go. If i do i will just continue smoking. Of course i want to be healthy. So what is exactly problematic in this process?

@Vibroverse it seems that there is a pushing through circumstances in the direction of growth. On a deeper level i could say no it doesn't but this is true for every word that exists. @nistake it's scary how both the things i like and don't like are created. It sure feels that i created some of these. Maybe i am deluded this is a possibility. But i somehow know that i created some things good and bad but without having any control over it.

@allislove it sure seems this way. No matter what i do the circumstances are leading me there. I don't use the word synchronicity because of the fear that i use it wrong but it feels like i had enough of them so far.

@Inliytened1 did you have at least a glimpse of that? If yes what changed when this happened?

@Endangered-EGO don't underestimate it. Just from one session i digested something that i never thought i could fully let go off and was carrying for years. Even if you don't set an intention you will get the release you need. Repeat some times and it can change your life.

Shamanic breathing of course. It did miracles to release trauma just by doing it 4 times

I guess the heavy metals in my brain will protect me from going too far

@Carl-Richard i see. Thanks. The question was just curiosity i have a long way to go. Not sure if i even want to go too far. But if nothing crazy is going to happen then i guess i do.

@BipolarGrowth damn i had no idea that he killed himself. Didn't heard much of his talks but they are great. I wouldn't say that i agree with what you said. I just assume that the result must be unpredictable.

To invent gravity

I wouldn't be so sure. For example someone here once mentioned that Alan Watts was an alcoholic. Maybe this is not true i don't know. The fact is that you are not identified with your physical body anymore so i don't see any guarantee existing that you would care for it. Never heard about those ultra enlightened people that are so blissed out that they don't even bother eating anymore?

What is addiction? Addiction is a behavior or a thing that without it we feel like crap. It may be physical, psychological or both. It is something that we feel we need. In healthy amounts it could be necessary, for example food but in excessive amounts is harmful. It could also be something completely unnecessary and harmful like smoking or heroin. It could really be anything at all. There are many really weird addictions if you do a google search. What leads someone to get addicted to something? It could be social pressure, emotional pain, chemical dependence, a way to escape reality and trauma among other things. When someone is addicted to something he/she feels powerless to stop the behavior or feels that can't live without something. Their lives would be better without the addiction and they know it. Just knowing this doesn't seem to help people to quit addictions, in fact maybe this knowing of the harmful behavior reinforces it example: smoking and the fear of diseases caused by it. I think that addiction is ultimately a non acceptance of current reality because of the belief of the inability to change it. Maybe i am wrong and is alot more complex but if this is the case the solution is rather simple. Accept the current reality fully by seeing it exactly as it is without mental filters and become a creator. Becoming a creator just means to create something rather than fight against something as i recently learned and realized. The solution is to create a clear vision of a non addicted person going on with his life without even being bothered from the lack of the object of his former addiction.

Egos never shut up. I'm tired of them and i'm tired of mine. Are egos necessary? Ego means getting stuck and being rigid. Not flowing. We are used to this mode of the world. We just don't know what the alternative is. I read somewhere in here that personality in not the ego. That sounds right and feels like a relief. You are unique but you are not you and that means that everything is unique. Don't worry i know about my ego. I can also see yours. What do i even want? A nice dream? Do i want to wake up? Should i wake up and start building dreams? Does it even matter? See this? This is nihilism and i got trapped in this before. If nothing matters then saying that nothing matters also don't matter. Good thing that i read this somewhere. That means that everything just is. I'm going back to the video about free will because it left me confused af. What are plans? Things i want to do? What does this mean if there is no doer? Really no free will? Just enjoying the ride? Let the spirit do its thing expressing itself through this body? Even my desire to make the body healthier and strong to express "myself" is an expression that i can't control because i don't exist? What the fuck are thoughts. Really wtf are thoughts. Just by asking this question and by trying to find an answer bla bla - It's everything thoughts. Can i really know what a thought is by using thoughts? Who is using the thoughts? Me that observes them. So the observer is also a user? Is using something the same as observing something? Are those symbols on my phone enough to find an answer? Is a seeker the same as a user or as an observer? Is every verb a characteristic of the Self? Self is the source of every action everywhere. Does this mean that every action is also the Self? Where am i going with this? Probably it ends with the phrase everything is one. Where do i go with this as a human in a body? Probably looking to realize this for myself. But no, the self expresses itself by looking to get this realized. Why? Why does everything exist? Why does this soup has so many forms, good and bad, male and female and so on. I understand why psychedelics must be very useful to get closer to the truth. But why does a truth needs to be found? I'm getting lost. The next step is having a good life in the human form and letting dreams get created. Somewhere psychedelics will be experienced. And understanding alone is not freedom from thought because it is thought. Or a vision or whatever. You can let it go. If you do it's like surrendering. Maybe surrendering is letting the self shine through. Ok enough for today. Maybe i should let a mental no fapping happen.

Thank you all! I got the answers that i needed.