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About Jaccobtw

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  1. Can someone refer me to something or give me some steps on how to raise my consciousness without psychedelics? Or better yet, are there ways I kind raise my consciousness in order to better prepare for psychedelic use so I don’t have a bad trip? I’ve tried things like meditation and self inquiry but they don’t seem to be very effective. I’ve also tried changing my diet but it’s extremely difficult to maintain.
  2. I was watching a Teal Swan video where she says that healing from codependency rests on one's capacity to see themselves as the bad guy. Also, codependents are obsessed with escaping from pressure. What exactly does she mean by this? Can you come up with some examples of what she's talking about? Video linked below.
  3. So I was vegan for 3 years but it became difficult to continue so I went back to eating meat. Almost four year later (now), I wanted to try vegan again. Red meat and processed meat are now considered carcinogenic so I know I need to make a change. I went to whole foods and I bought some healthy food - fruits, vegetables, beans, seeds, and flax oil (supposed to be the healthiest oil out there high in omega 3). The first few days went relatively fine, but it did get harder to fall asleep but for the first time in a long time I vividly remembered a dream I had. Despite the lack of sleep, I did have a lot more energy. The diet became extremely difficult on the seventh day. I became extremely irritable and there was a ripping and tearing sensation in my hands and feet that put me on the brink of having a psychotic episode. It felt like I was going to have some kind of demonic outburst. My hands were even clinching up like I had demonic claws. I'm not sure what went wrong. I'm pretty sure I didn't have any deficiencies with maybe the exception of sodium. So I went to a fast food place and ordered a vegan burger and fries to see if any difference would be made and there was, but it only lasted an hour. Later that night the constant ripping and tearing in my hands and feet was still continuing so I ate some meat finally and the sensation went basically went away, but I'm still not keen on eating meat. It seems the the meat desensitized me to the ripping and tearing sensations in my limbs kind of like what a medication does - helps me to suppress certain emotions. One positive of the week was that a cough I'd been having was greatly reduced but came back after eating meat again. I've been trying to discover what my actual needs are because I've been using food as a cope. When you only/mostly eat fruits and vegetables, you cant eat to cope. Also does anyone know how to process rage/anger? I know this story probably sounds extremely personal but I thought I'd share. Also Teal Swan says that at some point on the path of awakening and awareness it becomes impossible to eat meat https://www.facebook.com/tealswanofficial/videos/teal-swan-veganism-daily-update-593-tealswan-catalyst-vegan-veganism-animalright/268293227448098/
  4. @Yimpa How do you connect more to yourself
  5. There's this spiritual teacher, Teal Swan, who deeply emphasizes the importance of connection and relationships with others. I'm extremely introverted but I feel like my life has suffered due to a lack of connection. She even claims that if you want success its important to have close friends and relationships. How do you guys feel about this? Was having connection/socializing with other a key component to your worldly success?
  6. Firstly I'm not suicidal or anything. But I wanted to ask if there is anything objectively wrong with death. One might say from a higher perspective there is no death, but this is not what I'm talking about. I mean from a relative perspective. Like I've heard spiritual teachers say that if you die you'll likely reincarnate or that "you'll have to start over' or some crap. Like how does death affect the human race or the greater universe? Are there bad consequences for people who are still alive when people die? Or does death really not matter at all?
  7. So I just had a God realization, but to be honest I kinda forget how I got here so I'm gonna explain what I remember. I believe I was laying down on my bed playing some of my favorite childhood music and watching some youtube videos by The Alchemist. Then I put my hand over my heart and began mediating on it while contemplating a previous relationship I had - a sort of shadow work process. I went to work the next day as an Amazon Delivery driver putting smiles on peoples faces and I'm pretty sure I began staring at the sun on and off throughout the day which honestly energized my body and made me feel insanely powerful and confident. When I was done with work I came back home and meditated and layed down so I could recover from work and I was thinking some of the most fanatical thoughts ever like I am the creator my reality and must take complete responsibility for what I create. I had a similar day the next day at work: very positive and making lots of people smile. But then when I worked by second job that day at night many people seemed to be horrified by my presence. I looked in the mirror and it seemed that I had a massive ego - an arrogant know it all, overly confident looking person. I was working in a warehouse passing people by and I could see the horror in their eyes. It is quite possible I was demonic/selfish looking. Anyway through this whole time I had a ton of energy working a 10 hour shift on Friday and then a combined 14 hours on Saturday between both jobs and I was barely getting any sleep throughout this time because I had so much energy. So I woke up sunday morning and began meditating/contemplating thinking some of the wildest thoughts like "I can do anything I want, but It would take several lifetimes to fulfill it all," My mind kept emphasizing the importance of responsibility throughout this. I wish I could describe more but I've honestly forgotten a lot that has happened but eventually the thought "I'm God" came to me and tears just started coming down my face which happened a few more times throughout Sunday where I was at church listening to the music and yes more and more tears. I also had a few oneness experiences throughout this time where my mind was like "I am whole and undivided" but I don' think it was quite as powerful as the God realization. Expressing kindness and love was very easy in this state but also I got the feeling I was coming off as highly egotistical to some people as well. I think I heard a spiritual teacher say oneness is source's biggest ego. In this sate I was getting a ton of visions about what I wanted to do with my life and my struggle but after it ended it ended and left me questioning how real was the incredible experience I had over the past few days. So I guess it was a peak experience type of thing not enlightenment.
  8. Psychedelics: 5 meo malt or 5 meo dmt
  9. Everywhere I go to buy it says its only for research purposes only and not to be ingested. Should I be cautious?
  10. @halfknots What's the cleaner?
  11. @halfknots Ok cool! Do I need a tor browser
  12. @halfknots because they are illegal. I only want 5 meo malt
  13. I want to obtain some psychedelics but I'm worried about getting into legal trouble. I'm aware that we can't source psychedelics here so don't. My plan is to go to Canada and get some. I do want to bring them back but I'm worried some dogs at the airport will sniff them out. Are there psychedelics that dogs cannot smell or am I screwed? Thank you for your replies
  14. So I've been trying to become an engineer at university but I keep having this problem where I get more and more resistance to school as the semester progresses. I start out doing well, but later in the semester it gets harder for me to do work. It's not necessarily the difficulty of the class, but rather an extreme decrease in motivation to the point where I get physical resistance in my body when trying to do work. It gets so bad where I literally cannot do work for an extended period of time which obviously wastes time and puts me behind in class. Also, I'm an extreme loner. I only talk to people if I pretty much have to like in a lab or group project. I watched a video by Teal Swan saying that connection is important for success. She basically says there is an aspect of consciousness that will resist success unless you have connection:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUdaVwxdnak&t=1122s Has connection and being lonely ever been a success barrier for you? Ever been in a similar situation that I have described? What are some other success barriers that you have gone through? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thanks
  15. How is Teal awake if she always talks about "other beings" and extraterrestrials? I know she says were all one but is she aware that others and extraterrestrials are imaginary? She says reality is a cocreation. Is it really if other people are imaginary? She likens a person who is "disconnected" from others as a cancer. She says "the real task is to master relationships". But how? She never talks about solipsism, probably because It'd threaten her career. Also in her documentary she says she's the most woke on the planet. She clearly has a big shadow.