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Everything posted by Bando

  1. Yup this is one of the paradigm shifting moments I had after doing many many cold approaches, if your a well groomed man, who approaches someone with a relaxed, confident, playful demeanor you'll actually make them feel very good. Ive hardly ever got negative responses from cold approach, if the girl isn't interested i'd usually get the "im not intrested but your compliment was really thoughtful" or something like that and you move on. Imagine if a chick came up to you while you were grocery shopping and introduced herself to you and gave you a genuine compliment, even if you didnt like her you would still feel happy, thats exactly how most other women are going to react if you do it right.
  2. Probably in jail that dude was living life on the edge
  3. @Whitesnow It depends on an absolute scale yes beauty is very objective, there have been studies that showed that certain features on a person's face are universally attractive to everybody all over the world. But in a practical sense everybody has their type and that can pretty personal. Why is it you want a high value man? There are many average or below average guys out there with nice personalities you could be compatible with. To be the most happy you want to find someone at your level, as harsh as it sounds punching above your weight class will just lead to potential abuse as the power dynamic in the relationship is too skewed in one direction. Even if you were hypothetically able to get your dream man you would lose him in an instant because you have such a negative view of yourself, people can sense the bitterness and desperation coming off you, that will naturally repel people in its own right. You should invest some time into consciously dating, learn how to optimize the hand you were dealt with, your postionion is nothing new as this is actually what a majority of men face when dating which leads them to massive self-improvement. You cant skip over the "relationship and dating" phase of your life, it will always nag you because its in our biology to develop good relationships with people whether is platonic or romantic. You should prioritize the next 1-2 years making yourself as attractive as possible, consider getting plastic surgery, devloping a comprehensive workout routine, dialing in on your diet, learning social skills and how to be more "open and approachable", understanding male vs female relationship dynamics. ect. The average guy is not going to screen so hard on beauty if everything you can control is in good standings. Check this link out if your curious on what you can do to improve about your appearance- You don't have it as easy as other naturally attractive women but you can use this as a catalyst to pour tremendous amounts of self-improvent into yourself and grow from there. Not only will you feel more confident in your own skin but most importantly you will develop a deeper love for yourself which is probably the most important quality a person could have about themselves.
  4. Working as a club promoter, bartending, working in any retail stores specializing in womens clothes, personal trainer, being a male stripper, basically anything where a majority of your customers are women and your allowed to talk to them without it being weird.
  5. This isnt always true some guys just have an urge to sex and nothing more, they don't want to dance around and play games and don't expect anything afterwards.
  6. Hot take- Everybody has a price, and yes I would but only short term
  7. Anything difficult you do and make a considerable amount progress in will make you into a stronger man.
  8. Yes and no at the end of the day no matter how conscious you are your still limited by a human ego. This will lead to a survival bias which leads to its own set of challenges. Most men are very visual creatures and that large part of that determines what we are attracted to. Especially if a man puts enormous amounts of effort to turn himself into something he is naturally going to be picky. But there's also a threshold if a girl is hot but isn't compatible with your personality and there is a cute one that is, 9/10 guys will go for that but there still must be attraction
  9. Anybody can cold approach but that takes massive amounts of self-esteem, if 98% of people cant cold approach and their perfectly normal do you think someone with genetic problems will be able to? its just not cost effective if he has a deformity he shouldn't be doing cold approach he should be finding social groups that reflects his values and accepts him and go from there. Some people arnt meant to sleep with many women and that.s fine you can still build deep connects with people and something good may turn up. Don't create more problems for yourself if your a normal guy embrace it and be grateful I can see you using this to rationalize why cold approach isn't worth it and thats not a good mentality
  10. @zazen Solid post, did you write the quote yourself or did you get from somewhere? That quote hit the nail on the head
  11. If your fear of talking to women runs this deep going out and getting a prostitute wont do you any good. If your insecurity was about your sexual performance and you didnt have the necessary experience this would make sense, but hiring a prostitute to fix your social anxiety is not a good move. If I wear you I would try to really break down what's making you create this limiting beliefs you have towards women how has the content you've watched you, life experiences, your environment taught you about women? Being terribly anxious around women is a symptom of something deeper, Do you have a good friend group? Are you physically active? Do you have enjoyable hobbies? Hows your mental health? Can you financially sustain yourself? You should really take the time to contemplate these things and address the mental side of the equation because even if you found a chick that liked you she would smell your needies and run. Take some time to understand things before you dive straight into your fears.
  12. Go to a juice spot or any place and just order a non alcoholic beverage, the place or activity isn't important, getting to know the chick under a "romantic setting" is all that matters. Remember if the chick agrees to meet with you she is interested in you know all you have to do is see if shes compatible with what you want. The more important thing you should be worrying about is your date logistics, you want adventure on your dates don't just go to one place. What I do is grab a spot chill for a little bit and then go for a walk and then invite her back to my place at the end, (which you don't have to do if your a beginner). Use your judgement if she clearly looks out of it and can't communicate don't waste your time move onto others, theres some people who say that cold approaching chicks is predatory its all up to you.
  13. Its just conditioning the more women you talk to the less strange it becomes to walk up to random people and strike up a conversion. Most of the time if your friendly, respectful and and exclude authenticity you will not get a bad response. Mabey out of 100 daygame approaches you get 2-3 negative responses,(they arnt really that negative tbh) which is something you have no control over, they could be having a bad day. Do you feel anxious when driving in your car? Think about it your getting in a box traveling 60-70 mph where one wrong turn or someone else's mistake could cost you your life, yet you could do it without thinking. Most times you have a pleasant drive but there'll always be that one asshole that honks at you or does dumb stuff for no reason other than he's in a bad mood or something. Its the same with women, there's a reason anybody who is good with chicks tells you, you must interact with hundreds or thousands of women. You must condition yourself to view this as normal they same way you view getting into your car and driving to work normal.
  14. Dude relax man im assuming your a young 20 something year old stop focusing on women and just improve yourself. Start at the gym learn monitizable skills read uplifting material and set goals you want in life. If your here to vent thats ok but you have to realize since this is a self-improvement forum people are going to try to help you when when you post stuff like this. Lets face it you have your youth a healthy body and mind why waste it on this negative bullshit, forget about women for year or two and focusing on just getting comfortable in your own skin. Try finding a therapist who you can vent and explain your life story to, maybe they can give an insight on traumas you may have experienced in the past. and you can go from there. Understand even if girls were to find you attractive or interested in you cannot do anything because you have so many limiting beliefs and insecurities your literally preventing yourself from experiencing love
  15. @Whitesnow is a Woman, cold approaching guys as a chick does not help. Her issue was that she is not being approached by men and she wants to be the purseurer but in unsure how to go about it.
  16. Yea ive never really considered what dating is like from your point of view I know that you can get sex if you want to but that's really not you want you want some type of commitment from a man that can love you and fulfill your needs. I don't know if this was you but im pretty sure you said you were a lawyer clearing over 100k a year would you be willing to settle for an average to below average guy that accept you the way you were? Have you considered plastic surgery to help alter your appearance? Would you be willing to move locations? What does your ideal guy look like? How many new men are you meeting each month? Are you satisfied with your social life in general? Theres a lot of stuff to unpact
  17. Very masculine energy and deep attraction will do it. Its never attractive chicks who cold approach they play more coy and throw choosing signals and then i approach which is much better imo
  18. Just keep meeting new people who cares what 3-4 chicks say about how your socializing, don't form your personality to fit in or please others if you don't align with it. In terms of fixing your game aim to go out 2x times a week minimum, here's a trick you can try, i used to do this in the beginning phases of going out. I used to have one airpod in my ear while I approached and recorded my interactions and would listen to them on my way back home or something. Learning to control voice tonality is one of the most important factors in devloping an attractive personality.
  19. Hedge your bets wisley there's nothing wrong with long term relationships but as others on this thread said try to not get the government involved in your marriage. You can have ceremonies without getting the legal documentation. The problem is very few women will be ok with getting married without the gov involved for security reasons, which is why we return to protecting your downside. Make sure you understand female nature so you can spot toxic women, understand prenuptials, understand how the courtroom works in case there's custody battles ect and make sure the woman you want to marry can be a great mother to your kids. You should properly vet a woman at least a 6 months to 1year before considering entering a LTR. There's so many more checklists you should understand but these are the basics to get you thinking.
  20. @Molaric Do NOT cold approach in highschool you will 100% percent mess up your reputation you want to pay the social circle game. When i was in highschool one of my friends had a car and we would go to high schools near us that had basketball games/football games ect. We would go there make some friends who would then invite us out to gatherings and then from there we approached other chicks. You need to get creative stop settling for average solutions, Ask yourself how could I talk to 50 new chicks this week? Allow your brain to come up with weird solutions and try them out
  21. Humans will always be humans doesn't matter if your enlightened. If you have a village of 100 enlightened people hierarchies and politics will always exist. There must be laws to safeguard against human bias
  22. That shirt crisp as hell
  23. Find out you maintenance level calories, add 300 calories and get 1 gram of protein per pound, (if you weigh 170 pounds eat 170 grams of protein). Drink 2 high protein/calorie smoothies and 2 regular meals and lift heavy gaining muscle isn't rocket science it about consistency and discipline. Protein powder and a nutri-bullet blender are your best friends in getting fit
  24. Get a job first. Field test everything you learn theres thousands of yt vids explaining how to make money and finances, the biggest trap at your age is believing that you'll be young forever. 15 is really young but start looking around on yt on how to make money find a person whose teachings you agree with save up buy there course and set out with the intention to make it work. Consider it like a project dont even worry about making money. At your age unless your parents are abusive you shouldn't be worrying too much about becoming financially independent If i were you I would save up to buy a car as your first big purchase. Second you should put some intensive thought whether college is for you or not. If it is try to get into a top 25 college on a full or partial ride scholarship thats what i did and don't regret my decision one bit.