Bando

Let's look at the context he was a 38-year-old virgin before he met his wife. He wasn't a virgin due to religious reasons it was due to his incredibly low self-esteem he stated this on his earlier podcast before. He found an attractive young Indian woman who was a "virgin" and decided to blast through all the red flags that came up in the earlier stages of their courtship to secure a relationship with her The stuff Akash is going through now is the kind of things you expect someone in the early-mid 20s to be going through. While he has carved a nice career for himself, he still hasn't resolved the inner wounds that he spent his 20s and 30s in that's what attracted him to the low quality woman he's with what a shame. Depends on your definition "playing the field and learning game" in the PUA world this typically correlates to increasing your notch count, the lessons learned from optimizing your skill set for this pursuit doesn't translate to healthy long-term relationships well. Learning how to attract women to have sex with them is different than retaining them in a way that constitutes a healthy relationship.

Gotta add a TLDR when you post walls of text man

People who refer to themselves according to spiral dynamics colors will always be funny to me, this perspective is best used for populations, not individuals.

I feel for the teens/young men growing up in todays dating environment, the content & advice I had coming up while "toxic" was at least centered around going outside and talking to girls, nowadays you have these "looksmaxing" channels push this "blackpill" content essentially saying if your not a 6ft chad with a full head of hair theres no hope. Horrible content for men with little social experience to find

Absolutely it is especially in countries where Eurocentric beauty standards are the norm. Brazil is notorious for this, just look at OP response below he is willing to relocate to a Country an entirely new country just to pratice eugenics. If you were white I wouldn't have a problem with this but given that your a Brazilian living in Brazil and your willing to move to a country who's culture and language you don't understand just to be with a white woman is laughable. I could probably guess your politics too based of what you've been saying in this thread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SPmwMjLsww&t=2166s You would find this video clip interesting start from 36:08 - 53:37 its him breaking down how toxic and chaotic his relationship with his wife is due to his lifestyle. Allegedly she cheated on him, physically abused him, the usual toxic shit when you see from these people due to his need to have threesomes and have rotations with other women. I always laugh when I see Redpill / Manosphere content creators push this idea of One sided monogamous LTR, utterly impractical and ridiculous. It never works, no sane woman is going to commit herself to this style of relationship unless it comes with a heavy $$ tag and even then this will be the problems you deal with. The comical part about this is the other guy on the call playing therapist is his student who is paying him thousands of $$ for "coaching" John ended up snaking him and burning bridges with him as usual, and as retaliation the guy leaked these phone calls.

Over 6 feet tall, white passing, med student & lives in brazil and your having trouble finding a girl? Further more your having don't have a social circle? That is very odd. Ive travled to Brazil before and the social culture there is insane, both the men and women are very open to conversation. Try to ease your way into dating by doing online game, based on your description of yourself you should do fine. Choose the 3 biggest apps in your country and get 4-6 high quality photos of yourself and see what you can get. Also try to ask the students in your university what they do after class and if you can join, having a social circle of both men and women can really open up opportunities for you, especially in a place where there is such a strong social culture. Don't get too caught up in courses or theory people with the low social skill, introverted, analytical archetype need to cautions with consuming theory, they usually end up spending more time crafting elaborate frameworks for dating than actually going out to talk to women.

@Raze Nothings made up I've spent many years in the PUA scene and in "underground" group chats with these guys the stuff I mention isn't even scratching the surface. I do expect this response from you as a lot of the sources you link when it comes to relationship stuff typically come from PUA guys, any LMR techniques is manipulation no matter how you want to dress it up. Lets break this down why would you need to do a freeze out in the 1st place? Its because you not getting compliance so the strategies of breaking LMR at the core level is to increase compliance by manipulating her emotions. In this case its creating an anxious attachment response by purposefully withdrawing your attention, only "giving" it back when she is compliant with you escalating. This is silly approach, and while it may work to get you sex you are almost guaranteed to not see her again, if you know anything about the PUA scene one of their biggest problems is retention, how they get sex is one of those reasons If your "game" is good there shouldn't be any resistance when its time to close, she should be playing an active role in the process. The core idea of negging is to purposely lower someones self-esteem so you can have an easier time gaining compliance, I'm being purposeful with my language.

This was a very insightful experience you shared, I distinctly remember the coaches in this space describing the "ideal" kind of woman to game was a girl with low self esteem. A woman with low self esteem would be easier to manipulate into doing things they weren't enthusiastic about. They wouldn't outright say this but implication was very heavy. In this case these forums/coaches would teach guys about breaking through LMR (Last-Minute-Resistance). The common underlying strategy would be to "wear down" a woman emotionally until she kind of just "gave in" Some coaches would tell guys the only time they should stop trying to "close" is if she gets up and literally leaves your place. This is why ideas like negging was a staple in the PUA world. The problem with operating like this is that it leaves women very dissatisfied, this is one of the reasons why guys who have a high lay count or do PUA also struggle with retention, at worst it could land them in legal trouble like many of these PUA coaches go through.

@EdgeGod900 You must have discovered John recently, around 2022-2023 when he had his biggest fallout out with people in the space, he end up going after Alex, Todd, Charsima King, Kyle and literally every other content creator that made dating content. He wouldn't even criticize them on their "game" he would just insult their partners and call them gay, it was so silly. And when they would respond he would send cease and desists to anyone who made a critical video of him, even to channels with x<50 subs, at the hight of this nonsense he was sending lawsuits to literal commenters in other peoples comment section think how insane that is, very low quality human.

I've been away from the PUA scene for a while as it's something I've outgrown, so finding out John has been banned from YouTube in this forum of all places is a surprise lol. I had a close wing that took a Boot Camp with John and spent a good amount of time with him when he still lived in the states & told me a lot of personal details in his life and why he is the way he is. He grew up in a very verbally, abusive and religious household, where his parents would consistently demean him. He never socialized, was a hyper analytical person and showed signs of agoraphobia, the typical archetype of the person who gravitates towards PUA. He had a deep insecurity regarding women due to him, not having much experience with them growing up until he went off to college. Once he got into there, he ended up discovering PUA, which after a while led to him joining the community when it was at its most toxic and manipulative state. He would post his "Lay Reports" on RSD forum, a pick up forum back in the day, where he would get a lot of social validation for consistently demonstrating his ability to sleep with women. This was the point where he cultivated his belief system that a man's lay count is heavily tied to his self-worth, which makes sense as this was the first time in his life, he received an abundance of social validation. This belief system would run deep, he would end up getting multiple tattoos signifying his lay count milestones. Looking back from a more mature perspective, the PUA scene from the late 2000's up to late 2010's was a sludge of low quality disturbed men teaching insecure, impressionable men how to manipulate women in into sex. Seriously the stuff that used to get pushed by these coaches & on these forums got people locked up, put on sex offender lists and banned from countries. There's a reason why all of these PUA forms got nuked off the Internet. This was the space John operated in for nearly two decades, being with these low quality men and building a business around it, coupled with his unfortunate childhood, resulted in his corrupted personality. He then made waves again by making, 20-50 minute long videos where he would disrespectfully insult the wives/gf of the other "coaches" in the space; the worst part being when they would make a response to his videos he would immediately send them a cease and desists and if it was ignored, he would sue them into taking down their response videos to him. The ultimate coward move. This would lead to him burning bridges with every single person he has collaborated with, even people that he looked up to like Mystery, or his long term, best friend Alex who is also runs a dating channel called "Playing with Fire" His wife even ended up cheating on him at some point, which was a sore spot constantly used to make fun of him. John is a deeply insecure sociopathic man who is the representation of what happens when a child grows up in a dysfunctional home and is taught a value system by an equally dysfunctional community, which is typical in the PUA/Redpill space. John was one of the driving forces that made me outgrow PUA. The fact that a man who slept with that many women, built a successful business, and had a somewhat large media presence was still deeply flawed, low self-esteem individual, sending cease and desists to YouTube channels with a couple dozen subscribers b/c they made a critical video on him showed me how limiting the ideas in the space are.

Ive seen some many large accounts on twitter try to spin the Israel involvement angle, jeez those people are relentless

This was a $2500 lesson Tai Lopez is one of the most studied course seller scammers in the space you falling for his get rich quick schemes should be a source of contemplation for you. Btw every guru that sells courses online can be found for 1/100th of the price if you do enough googling.

You could have made a course & charged $999 for this info lmao, such an insightful post thanks. I have a few questions. How do you track progress for your clients? For context fitness coaches can track things like weight progress, lifting strength over time ect, since overcoming self-sabotage is more subjective how do you know you've solved their problem what metrics do you track? Also on the discovery call, is your aim to close the prospect on that call, or do you reach out and go for the close on the 2nd attempt?

Humans will always be humans no matter how "developed" you perceive them to be, there will always be a couple character flaws somewhere. Anyone who prescribes heavily to online mentors, understand you don't know them in real life, you don't know their true unfiltered beliefs on how they view the world. This applies even more to online figures that promote "consciousness", discuss new age topics, and has a following, there is a certain ego that someone develops after having mystical experiences or any success in general that makes them have an attitude of "others just don't understand their too stupid" Its not a coincidence that these "conscious" people usually always fall into right leaning topics, its a safe space for "ideas outside the matrix" this aligns with their core attitude. The best way to observe human nature is to contemplate on the levels deception the mind is able to cultivate. Leo has been hammering this point a lot in his blogs this year and I agree.

@jacknine119 Stay outside the house and be busy, its hard to want to fap when you come home dead tired. Seriously only make your house a place where you Shower and Sleep, try this until you have better control of your urges

This is really good advice, have you thought about making more mainstream personal development on your youtube channel? It would be a good way of introducing "normies" into Shadow Work and other practices, kind of like what Leo did with spirituality. You have a really good way of articulating ideas especially on topics regarding psychology / relationships. Maybe something like "Psychology with Dr. Ana" @Dana1 https://www.youtube.com/@TheDiamondNet/videos -This is her channel

@fabger Try day game its surprisingly more forgiving, look for day time venues / gatherings and do approaches there, I also lean towards introversion, this approach is pretty good for this kind of personality. For night game as Leo said try to find other wings in your area to game with, join PUA forums get to know the layout, add value, and then make a post asking if there are any wings in your area. Night game is all about state management women want fun energy, this is easier when your with guys you can laugh / have fun with One forum I joined when I was heavy into this stuff lead to a 2 week long "boot camp" with one of the top guys and a few other members, cost about $1000 for travel / accommodation / coaching some of the best money I've spent in this space

@Raze This was an interesting conversation to listen too any more podcasts/discussions like this?

I swear this section of the forum never grows its always the same 3-4 people posting the same shit over and over this conversation is nearly identical to discussions had over 2 years ago by the same people, nothing productive will happen here

@Miguel1 I second this every week make time to record for 30 minutes talking about whatever interests you. Review your content and watch the way you would watch any other creator. You'll learn a lot on how to speak and use body language in a more engaging way.

@jimwell What happened to her? Was she banned

Its not often I come across a video in the space of dating / relationships that I'm genuinely blown away by, but "Hoe Maths" (lmao) new video explaining relationships zones is one of the best foundational pieces of content I've watched on how to navigate dating. The interesting part is that it seems balanced as he also gives advice on how women can maneuver themselves in the dating market to find their ideal guy vice versa, without the angry Red-Pill dogma thats so strong in this space. It gives a high overview on how attachment and attraction plays for both men and women and provides nice explanations on the different relationships zones each person has when dating. This is a good video for beginners, it lays out a nice overview on how the dating market works and provides several verticals you can work on to improve your success. Check out the video

Let him be, some people don't change, theres no advice you can give him besides asking him clarifying questions

Every couple of weeks I comeback to this forum with the anticipation of reading what insightful wisdom @Someone here posts truly an enigma