Princess Arabia

If you think you are this person and think you are the body and everything that comes with it, and all your experiences that changes with the wind and all the mind chatter and beliefs and whatever else, then yeah. But if you realize that none if this is you because you cannot be what you are aware of then you realize that awareness is all there is because that's the only constant. Everything else is arising out of me. When I say me I mean the fucking empty space that is something, me, you and everything else.

If you read what I said, I will continue to live life as is. I'm not saying I don't see a person here or that I'm not separate or anything. Wtf is depersonalization/derealization. They are just words and concepts. I cannot be what I'm not. I cannot become what I am already. I cannot be depersonalized if I'm already a person. You guys are the ones with all these fancy words and concepts and putting meaning to life. How are you going to tell me how i am or what is going to happen. The only way to God is through God as God. I'm already that which I am. Nothing but filters and veils and beliefs and assumptions and conditions can presumably turn me into what I'm not originally. So if I believe I can be depersonalized then that will be true for me. If I feel like I need to be grounded other than where I'm not already grounded then I will go get grounded and then believe that I'm grounded. Nothing can change the changeless and if I'm that, nothing can depersonalize that. Only the illusion of depersonalization can appear.

Careful of what. You're the one who keep saying careful. I don't treat people like NPC's. Why should I. That would mean I believe in anything to be true. What would be the difference between me and the NPC's. I'm real and they're not? You're projecting your beliefs unto me. What is it, then if this isn't it. You keep telling me to be careful. What's going to happen. I will end up in the psyche ward? I will end up being butchered and murdered? I will end up ostracized, lose my friends, be banned, lose weight, gain weight, get stupid, be smarter......idk what I'm being careful of, or what will happen if I'm not careful. Only one thing is for sure and that is I exist and will always exist.

This is a huge misconception. Think about it. Why would someone out there that's having a lot of sex or working in the sex industry want to spend their downtime watching more sex. Unless you're a sex-addict, you won't care to do that if that's what you do for a living. You would be surprised if you really knew who were the freaks, kinks and the ones into fantasy role play. The strippers and the hookers and the sex workers are the ones supplying the tools for the so-called ordinary people who are the real "freaks".

Your feelings aren't beliefs. A baby doesn't need a belief system to cry or laugh. No need to go to school to learn how to feel. It's innate. Every word is made up; language is made up, -isms are made up. Everything in society is made up. Every stage is a phase. Everything will pass. Your life is one big "MADE-UP". The Singularity isn't, Consciousness isn't, Awareness isn't, even the I AM is made up because what comes after the I AM is imaginary. There is nothing to believe in. I don't believe I exist. I know I exist. I don't believe in Existence, existence JUST IS. Whatever comes after that is pure imagination. Solipsism is real because we're taking about it, Santa Claus is real because children believe in it and it's a fantasy and fantasies are real. 1+1=5 is real because I just typed it. No-thing and Every-thing is real. If God wants to dream up Solipsism, Scientology, Islam, Jihadists, Al-Qaeda, ISIS, Buddhist, whatever, so be it. The only thing the mind is concerned with is maintaining this form. The body. Whatever it takes. I am stuck in this body. So I think anyway. It is so obvious to me that I am not this body. It is so obvious to me that I am constructing this life, my world, all my memories, all my illnesses, all my worries and fears. It is obvious to me that I am deluded and everything is a fucking dream. It is obvious to me that I am being lived. When I look from my eyes I can see the light that's being projected. When I look from my eyes I can see the oneness everywhere I go. When I look from my eyes I can see that my eyes aren't seeing anything, it's just a projection. I can tell that I'm the one fooling myself, I can tell that I'm trying to wake up to nothing. I can tell you're me and i am you. I don't know how I can tell, but I know. If you ask me to explain anything I can't. It's a phenomenon I can't describe. I can't live my life like this because I'm not in control of that. I will continue to see fear, joy, happiness, anger frustration etc. I will continue to see all that arises because it is what it is and there is nothing i can do about it. It's so fucking obvious the feeling of aloneness arises, but that's just a feeling. I am the aloneness that i am feeling. There is no one feeling anything. It's just energy appearing that way. It's so obvious THIS JUST IS. Now, if I seem deluded and crazy, then that just is.

Everything scares people. Even their own shadow.

The body is designed for food not processed junk. You don't give your car orange juice you give it gas. That's what it was designed for. Processing certain foods alters the natural structure of the food and the body doesn't know what to do with it. If you google foods and their body parts you'll see tons of images of foods that resembles body parts. E.g ginger/stomach, sweet potato/pancreas, avocado/womb, tomato/heart, walnut/brain and more. The body is a very sophisticated machine and needs the proper environment to function properly. Not every food in it's natural state, tho, is suitable for all body types and blood type does play a factor in this, so these are just generalized statements.

Best way to look like a pervert. But what the heck, I like perverts as long as they're not perverted.

Your nervous system too.

In my book, it's the men who are always right. I'm just trying to not make them see where I'm wrong. Equals out.

Yes, I understand what you're saying. Enjoy your drinks. Don't start sob, sobbing like I did last night. Lol

This made me chuckle. For now, I'll stick to ice-cream and almond flour brownies. Thank you for the rest of the message.

Maybe I was missing the bread. Lol

All you're saying I've realized and I've somewhat burnt through the lower karma, so to speak, but there's no such thing as fulfilled living. That's the illusion because we're already fulfilled. That's the realization. I don't really see anything to burn, so I take back my burning through Karma statement. I just see it as experiencing, experiencing happening. Even that is saying too much.

Mushroom burger coffee soup powder..hehe

Interesting story of the flatmate. Somehow I think it's because Creation is finished and we're just going through the timeliness in a linear fashion.....forever.

Lol. I was drinking wine. I was out and when I got home that's when it all happened. I wasn't drunk, as you can tell from the way I wrote, and I've drunk wine many times. Last night was just a very different feeling I had and I couldn't relate to it much. The feeling i had was indescribable and I wasn't even trying to describe it then, just experience it. Something weird happened the night before too. I turned to my cat and out the blue I started to sing Robin Thicke's "Lost Without You" song to her. Two minutes or so later, I reached for my phone and tuned into Pandora. Guess what song was playing. Yep, you guessed it. Lost Without You. I Didn't try to interpret it though, just shook my head in awe and left it at that. The moon is getting full. Weird shit has just been happening lately, but it's all good. No interpretations needed.

Just a feeling

Love you too

Love you too

Thank you

Update: So this is how I'm feeling this morning. I'm back to my normal self. I'm not feeling any different than I use to feel except there is a feeling i can't describe that's present. Last night when I was writing my initial post or I should say afterwards, I felt trapped. Trapped in a body. Kinda confused. I kept on crying and talking to myself out loud. It seemed every sentence I made wasn't making any sense. They were normal sentences but had no meaning, Every time I tried to make sense of what I was saying, it seemed to not be what I was feeling. Example, can't remember much of the sentences but I think they were like, "it's so obvious, I'm doing all this, it's so obvious all others are me, but then I couldn't understand what that meant because I kept feeling as if there was no me saying these things, but in a sense there still was a me. Then I kept wanting to get out of this body, and then I i kept saying what body, then I felt I was trapped inside of something, I kept crying (not hysterically but sobbing profusely), I couldn't even relate to myself anymore as if everything I said, that wasn't it. The only thing i really remember saying continuously was "it's a feeling, it's a feeling, it's a feeling. Then I tried to make sense of the feeling, but I couldn't. Not that I was trying to describe to myself HOW I was feeling, but just saying, "it's a feeling". I wanted to get out the body, not forcibly, but I felt the feeling i was feeling was trapped and needed to go somewhere. I can't really explain it. Before all this something inside of me felt dead as if there was no me but there was still a me, both at the same time. I couldn't make sense of it. Also, it was like my past experiences kept flashing back to me, the mind kept remembering past stuff I did and went through. That only lasted for a short while. Then I kept saying things again and couldn't relate to where they were coming from, meaning they just sounded like words, even though they were legitimate sentences I couldn't relate to them, then I kept saying it's a feeling, it's a feeling. I couldn't relate to anything else but that phrase. The whole time this was going on, I knew I was all alone, not as in the only one in existence, but more like I was trying to pretend there was an existence. Like there was nothing or anybody here not even me but I was trying to make sense of stuff because there was really nothing or no one here but I didn't want to acknowledge it (not believe it) kind of like a denial. This was not a conscious thing at the time, I'm just remembering the feeling i had and now I'm writing this and kind of remembering what that feeling was. It was very subtle. Anyway, It calmed down with me realizing I was stuck in this body and there was nothing more to do but go to sleep and i slept like a baby and woke up feeling normal again, only with less mind chatter and a sense of peace. Which kind of wore off as the morning progressed. The few videos that came up on my YT feed this morning that I never saw before were in the realm of what I went through last nigh and even an email from Sunny Sharma whom I'm subscribed to was about nit letting the mind taking credit for Spiritual Growth and to remain humble despite new developments and insights and so on. Like me sending a message to myself. But then again, that could also be the mind taking credit for that. So I'm just back to normal but just with a little more sense of peace. Thank you all for the love and encouraging words and @Javfly33your message made me cry.

I took my cat with me but I landed on her back and she look at me like, wtf....

Not panicky, just weird.