Princess Arabia

When you're used to something i guess, maybe through psychedelics or whatever, you can sit there and bask because you expected it I wasn't thinking about basking during something I was in awe and wonder about that just happened outta nowhere, wasn't even sure what was happening . All I kept saying was oh god, oh god, oh god, this is it, this is it it's this. Around 5-10mins in after that wore off a bit, I decided to. Or rather I just happened to get on here and started talking about it. Nothing planned out. It just happened.

Neither do you.

Ok, doesn't matter what is, is. I don't need to understand what I'm talking about when the Universe itself is total chaos. I'm not supposed to know what I'm talking about. I just randomly appeared on the face of the earth and I'm supposed to figure shit out? I think you're the insane one for expecting me to be able to. If your psychedelics and meditation routine in what's going to be your guide and mentors more power to you, I've already figured out that I don't need any.

is that the idiot or the consciousness.😊

What is this like every two months. Same story.

Yeah its like I'm using known phrases to express the unknown, trying to make sense of it. Using phrases i'm used to, but it's hard to explain. You know what I'm trying to say though.

Not right now please i'm still trying to get through idiot consciousness 😜😜

It is what I said if you reread my comment. The only difference is it didn't feel as if it pretended to be a human it was just that, with no pretence. As if I wasn't me, as if it was all it. Thats what I'm saying. You're all telling me about me but I don't see me I saw all it. Whatever it is. I didn't see nor felt it it was just it. If you know what I mean.

I saw my body but it was if it was a part of the scenery. Thats what I mean. Not me as Arabia. Like in and out, in and out.

I said that in my live last night. I said it is everything I'm conscious of.

Yeah it appeared to be more like that. Thats it. Only it seems like I wasn't in the picture, but that was explained to me earlier something to do with subjective and objective.

lol. Didn't feel like that last night it felt or looked or appeared as if it was everything excluding me, as if it was living and moving through me. I guess the I fell away. Don't know. More like it was never there.

Ok, so even though it experiences itself doesn't mean it itself actually moves only appears that way.

There's no "happiness limited". The energy of happiness sadness, joyfulness, anger, envy, jealousy, whatever and the contracted energy of the I latches on to that energy thinking it is it that feels those things and now when happiness in gone you think it left, when sadness arises you think its your sadness, its only energy appearing as sadness and happiness. Drop the I thought and what remains is just sadness and happiness. There is no you. There is just what's appearing, don't hold on to it. It doesn't need a you to appear but the you need it to appear.

No, I get this. I can see it even more clear now. It truly seems mysterious and not at the same time. I don't have any rule structures in me, anymore anyway, maybe that's why I'm seeing a bit more clearly, while still not really seeing more clearly. It seems to be that and not that at the same time. Every description I give it, it seems the opposite is also true.

Ok, this person.

I was just saying, that my instincts kicked in to try to comfort you and tell you comforting words but then I realized that it wouldn't have mattered because it is what it is, Even me not doing that was what it was. I usually would respond to these kinds of posts with empathy but it's not about the empathy but more of what is, empathy or not. Let the thoughts be and don't engage, just see them passing, sounds woo woo but that contracted I energy is what's doing it not you per se. You're just believing in it. Just keep going about your business, let the "I want to end it thoughts be', don't try to stop them or feel good or bad about them. Just let them be, they are dead. You give them life if you focus on them. They won't go away but they will lessen and lessen.

What if its not really experiencing itself, though. Only appears to be. What if nothing really moved and that's where the real magic is. What if its just infinite imagination without actual experience.

Right. The only sense I'm making of it now is that it's simply what's happening. Everything else is thought and memory which is a good thing because I would have had no idea what was happening still don't because nothing seemed to change only everything seems alive.

There's no keeping it simple and letting it do anything. It is already that. Saying to keep it simple and let it flow doesn't compute right now. Thats like a command, a call of action. There's none of that, it's just what is already the case.

I expected this kind of response from somebody, wasn't sure who, but a least you're not being definite, you're saying be careful. It's kind of the opposite, it's so ordinary that all I'm saying is this is it, its this, I'm still making my tea, my breakfast, hollering at my cat and normal shit just its more alive now, nothing seems dead not that it did before but its active, hard to put into words, I'm OK, if anything the psychosis will be the non psychosis.

Ok, I understand what you're saying, I really do and it makes sense, right now it just doesn't seem to be what's happening, it just seems raw, unfiltered and present, like it doesn't even need a frame of reference, but I'm not saying what you're saying isn't so, just not what I'm seeing or whatever the word. Seeing, feeling, pointing to.....

Seems like I didn't have any thoughts to be the now, now now now that I mentioned. Seemed like I was typing it from the now and couldn't grasp time but tried to. Idk its hard to explain. I didn't even feel or see or even thought about eternity it was just now. As if eternity is in the future and this is just here now.

@Adrian colbyIt seems like I didn't even have to actively remove myself from anything, it automatically just wasn't there. It was, but it wasn't if you know what I mean. Not like I was invisible or couldn't feel or see myself but more that everything around me just seemed alive and i didn't.

This explanation I can relate to more, it seems like that's what happened. Thats why I kept typing "Now, now, now, now now now. Someone said it is only one now in the comments but it wasn't like that in live time. But I can relate to this and will bookmark it for reference and try to understand it better. I will also keep my journal and write through it so the energy doesn't get stuck. Don't even know if thats a thing or not. But I think I know whats been said here. Thanks. Even though not exactly. Seems there wasn't really a witness.