Princess Arabia

Death is the giveaway that one doesn't exist. Jesus Christ i'm not really here. I think I am. I most definitely am not. OMG, how didn't I see this before like truly see it. I'm not referring to no self and all that jazz. Like I'm not actually here. The body seems to be but I'm not in it. There is just no I to be in a body. Like truly. I don't feel it as I speak but it might come back. Death is nothing to fear, if anything life is. Life is the illusion. Life is the pretense. It tricks. It deceives. There's no life, there's no death. There's simply what is.

How is death an illusion. A body appears to an observer as alive and a body appears to an observer dead. One doesn't die, there's no one to die. You, yeah you, reading this there is no you. There is not a person inside that body that ages and dies. Other dead bodies appear so you think you will die some day. No, you are already not here. No one is.

It is just as silly to expect the silly to not be silly. How else can silly be. Nothing becomes something else. Everything just is. Becoming is an illusion.

We will all never agree on everything. This is life in a nutshell. Nothing being everything. All different. Never exactly duplicated. Even twins aren't exactly the same. All fresh and new. Save your frustrations. Well, that's life being frustration too. This forum is a great replica of life's expressions. Everything about it. We tend to think we need extravagant things to appear; or we need to feel an extraordinary feeling to feel, see, experience reality as it is or to see it for what it is. The real reality isn't lurking behind some psychedelic experience or some mystical experience or some flashy lights and elephants in walls. It is timelessly what is appearing. The coffee cup, the pencil, the grass, the birds chirping, the hurricane, the sunshine, that man cursing, all of it. It's all magical. We can't see it because it's known. There's a kind of normalcy with things known. That's why we crave fresh and new. How can we all agree on everything when it's all fresh and new. All ideas are fresh and new. If I have an idea of baking a cake yesterday and an idea of baking a cake today and an idea of baking a cake tomorrow, all those ideas on those respective days would be fresh and new ideas even if they were of the same essence. If I read a book yesterday and reread the same book today, I wouldn't be reading the exact same book. This computer is not the same computer it was 5mins ago, a sec ago. How can anything be the same it only appears that way as in the same idea or even day. There is no today. There is only timelessness. So, no matter what appears to happen, nothing can ever duplicate itself so no one can ever get this exactly. THIS CAN NEVER BE DUPLICATED, and the sane goes for life. It can never be GOTTEN or GRASPED. It cannot be wrapped up nicely in a gift wrap and be presented as a case study to KNOW what Reality is. Knowing is one sec too far. The fact that one knows has turned reality into a dead weight. It cannot be truly known. This is how this is neither alive or dead. It just is.

All dream stuff, You have personalized God to extremes and made it into a replica of humanity while ignoring the rest of existence. You have intellectualized it all and turned reality into some kind of structural thing to be analyzed and reasoned out. What is, is everything. Even this attempt to put God in a box is also everything, so it really doesn't matter the accuracy of any of it. The I AM is the dream and it doesn't have a reality on it's own. It's all energy and energy can not be personalized but only in fantasy and in a dream.

Is a rainbow real. Is it really there. Yes and no. Are those eye floaters really there or are they seeming to appear. Is that reflection really there. When the moon reflects in the river, is the moon actually in the river. Most will agree that the moon isn't in the river; but will most agree that the reflection is real or is it unreal. Some will say both. The reflection seems real but that's all it is - a reflection. You'd say it's a reflection of something real. A rainbow cannot be grasped or held unto and is empty and void of any depth and substance. Most would agree with that. A moon's reflection cannot be grasped either and the moon cannot be taken out the water the same way your body cannot be taken out the mirror. Would you say your body's reflection is real or is it unreal. I say the reflection is real, any reflection is real as long as we're referring to reflection. The reflection is there. Is it an appearance, yes. The moon appears to be in the water and is only a reflection. You see, these terms aren't as cut and dry when distinguishing between the terms real and unreal. Most will say water is water but not most will say something that's a reflection is real or that an appearance is real. It all depends, and depends on how one looks at it. It's all a matter of perspective; and because of that, how can anything really be real. Things might appear to be real, but what makes something real or unreal. That too will be a matter of perspective, opinion and belief. So, don't be so quick to say what's real or unreal is truth or untruth or not there or there or whatever adjective you want to use, it's not that dry cut when it comes to language, communication and perception. I say nothing is really real and everything is. But in the Absolute sense nothing is, not even relativity.

We look up to some and look down on others. We look at drug addicts in street alleys shooting up in a different yes, but less than flattering light like say Osho or Moojii. We speak of some with respect and awe while bastardizing others. The drugged out individual on the street corner isn't someone to look up to Sadhguru is or Allan Watts, or Oprah or Rolling Stone. Then we wonder why there's a drug epidemic in the first place.

People don't even know who they are but they love to talk about conscious this and conscious that. First go figure out if you yourself are conscious before labelling and categorizing people into the low conscious and high conscious domain. If i ask you who you are, you'd probably say consciousness. I guess there are categories of consciousness for people to be at even though you'll say consciousness is everything. States of consciousness too. It cracks me up to see the same thing in spiritualists as I see in the materialists. Categorizing who is better than who.

I cannot take life very seriously. I just can't. Seriousness just says you're scared to me. Yeah, fear of some sort will always be there but to take life seriously on a whole, doesn't compute. Especially since life itself doesn't take itself that seriously. Infact, it plays too much.

I shouldn't have a journal of this kind since I have a hang up about men just wanting sex and getting laid so much. Maybe precisely why i need to talk it out. It's my only gripe with men. Maybe as a working girl I should love it as it helps my work and i wouldn't have been in business this long if men weren't horny pigs. I know people are reading this thinking what they're thinking and saying wtf is her problem but Idgaf, it's a journal for speaking the mind and that's what I'm going to do. You all probably know by now I have no filter even though I'm trying my best lately to put one on. I haven't gotten into any fights lately on the forum I've just been like mostly saying OK to this and that and letting things be. When I first came on here I was very hot blooded because I used to get picked on. Still do, but not as much and i don't show too much emotions when do so it doesn't stick, plus the haters haven't been on for a while. Some just can't stand me just because of what I do while they're out looking for strange pussy to fuck and cold approaching hundreds of women just to get in their pants. The hypocrisy is astounding. Then calling working girls low-conscious. The defense is that men have high testosterones levels. Oh God, if I hear that one more time as a defense to whore down the planet, I'll puke.

I should get out of grown men's discussion where getting laid is a highly-prized pursuit.

Lol, you're right.

Don't mind me when I'm venting, it's just a short phase that goes in and out. I don't take it seriously. I couldn't care less what I think about me and what bothers me. Who cares, only me.

How are you sure people are low-conscious and not just avoiding annihilation. Some would rather stay there than to face their own absence. Don't be so sure of your own high-consciousness persona. It could also be a front of some kind.

Just because one feels like they are, doesn't mean they are. I AM feels like an I AM, that's not proof of existence. A body seems to be here. Doesn't mean I AM.

Haha, you're funny. I like that light tone and humor you made. It made me laugh. This is just me venting and changing up my vibe a bit. Nothing serious here. All in fun. Seriously. No pun intended.

Explain away, explain away, what millions of men think but some won't say. No need explaining, guys think this all the time it's just it sounds funny when heard. You're seeming to think it's only with sexually frustrated. Lots of men getting pussy left and right will still act that way. The main reason I think is because they can and society has given men a free pass to be promiscuous without it having a negative impact on them socially.

When I say i've been traumatized I don't mean it in the normal sense of trauma. Imagine being labelled and put into a category simply because of what you do not for who you are. That can take a mental toll over the years. It's like you're ostracized while you sit back and watch "ordinary people" act like the real whores and tramps and be promiscuous and whore the town down just to get laid; by strangers, nonetheless. At least a girl gets to pay her bills from it but she's the tramp while "Mr. I'd Like To Tap That Ass" gets advice on how to get that done. That's the kind of trauma I'm talking about. Seeing the hypocrisy. Hearing the tales told of men who are whoring down the town so frivolously and spreading their dicks around to Mary and Sue for no other reason than to get laid, but a get paid woman is a tramp. I realize it's because women are supposed to be the prize and not give their shit away so loosely, I get that, the signs are everywhere but it still takes a little bit of a toll to see the competitors for the prize be so freeing with their tools while judging and criticizing the prized pool. I'm the first one to tell what I do and couldn't give two shits what anyone says just to get that out the way and neutralize the situation fast. At first it will be a shock to the system then an expectance (expecting me to act like their idea of one), then a normalcy phase then a what do you do again phase. It won't even come up again as I'll be so normal and they'd actually be the one drugging out life away, sexing up the whole town and partying like an animal every week-end, while I'm watching Rupert Spira waiting for my date who is a functional businessman alcoholic that works on computers for a very large cyber security firm but no one knows he sees escorts and has an only fans account and cheats on his wife and smokes weed because he doesn't fit the bill and works in a reputable company that's considered of a high caliber and only smart people work. That's where the trauma comes in. Seeing this shit played out for years and years while getting called out for what I do and not who I am as a person. It actually woke me up to realize it doesn't matter.

This is why I think twice about starting this type of journal because I know some projection is going to leak out and some things said that's not so flattering. Maybe it's the exact thing I need to get this stuff out and for it to get some breathing room. It's not all that serious, though, but as a working girl it can take a toll over the years to see how many of the atrocities have been committed by men and how some men can be who are professionals and are outstanding citizens of society but a female will get slack just for being on an adult website or selling her pussy. No one asks about her personality, if she's a mean girl or not, is she cruel and is she abusing men and clients or stealing and robbing or whatever. You do this for a living....you are this and you are that. While the clients get a free pass. They are the poor victims and the girls are taking advantage of lonely, fat, ugly men. So far from the truth. If anything, it's the men taking advantage of women stuck in this work for financial reasons or whatever else reason other than if it's done willingly. They pounce from woman to woman and carry on with their sexual fantasies and escapades of getting laid by strange and new women while the women go home after work and are usually faithful to their families.

This journal is not going to get me popular votes I can see that now. I have a little bit of a bone to pick from what I do and to get so much slack from men themselves for it and who have no shame in spreading their dicks around to who will take it. I have a little bit of an issue hearing men describe their loose ways while women are called whores and sluts for theirs. I have a little bit of an issue for when I see only fans girls get dogged out but guys can just proudly and openly share how they'd like to be with as many girls as they can and the more the merrier. I have a little bit of an issue when women are called out for being working girls when pick-up is just working men in reverse. I have a little bit of an issue when men can just be open with their "I'd like to bang that ass" comments and "the more the merrier remarks when asked about dating preference" when women get slack for trying to make a living doing this shit. Same shit men are doing. I don't see any much talk about relationships here only a few but lots of bang 'em and hot girls and 'closing' like a real estate transaction but we get slack and whoring guys get told prostitutes are low-conscious people by men who go to strip clubs where prostitution is going on in the back. It's called the champagne room. I have a little bit of an issue, not much but a little bit, when I see how women are supposed to act VS men and how their whoring ways are praised and they feel entitled to hot women and have a problem when women are picky and want to choose men of value. I'm not ranting just speaking my fucked up truth. Not all men, obviously and not even most, just some. When I see them I just want to puke, though. Don't blame me. I've been traumatized by this but not really. Just disgusted to see how men are the first to complain about women but they don't care about women but only for hedonistic pleasures and they judge working girls for doing the same thing they're doing only worse because it's just for carnal pleasure.

Of course it's not true. I never claimed anything to be true. It's just talking. Plus, obviously it's never ALL in any scenario. Do I have to say SOME for every sentence. Go read the relationship section do you see any men there caring about a female's personality and how kind and compassionate and all that jazz she is. All I see is how hot they are, cold approaching strangers to hook up with, congratulating guys who got laid or met some females and asking where the hottest sections of a city is or if they should pa k up and move to go get laid.

We are the prize period. Look at the stories. Men get congratulated just for meeting and hanging out with the prize. Men also don't care about personality to want to bang a chick. Tits and ass is enough. Nothing worth being a prize would want to stick their precious ting-a-ling- anywhere if it were precious. The difference is whether it's a hot prize or not. Then it's a homerun prize. Then unto the next prize. Like a yearly football match.

Ok. You're right as the dream. Can't deny that. "KNOWLEDGE of" is separation. There's none.

Ok. Word semantics at play.

I see a boat you won't see an orange, you'll also see a boat. The experience of seeing the boat is a different matter which i'm not referring to in the OP, just the raw seeing of it. How can I see a boat and you see a boat with different sets of eyes and different bodies if we are separate. I say there's no one actually in these bodies seeing anything and it's just seeing happening. No one seems to be getting this. You mentioned experiencing things the same when i didn't even mention experiencing anything.