Princess Arabia

That's OK. This is how I weed out the weeds from the shaft. I'm not the type of girl that you will be able to play those games on where you pay for the date just to get in her pants and then after you've got a nut off on her behalf, now you're different towards her. You shouldn't be talking about someone's behavior with that kind of mentality. Shame on you. Poor unsuspecting women who gets into your devious path. All men have to worry about with me is to pay for a date they've asked me out on or not ask at all. Simple and genuine behavior. Not sure what kind of behavior you're referring to.

I never said that. I said I don't ask men out. I'm not the kind of girl to approach men for dinner dates or any kind of dates, not even when I'm working (but that's not the discussion here). Sorry, if that's a bad thing for a woman. I might give signals that i like you etc, but I'm not asking for a date unless we're already in a discussion and talking and you kind of hint it and I'm agreeing something like that, but I don't come outright to ask men for dates. Of course, if I already know you and we've been out before or we're dating or married I might say let's go to so and so, that's different.

Nothing to do with all that. No one should be expected to pay for themselves when asked out. This is not paying for themselves. This is paying and coming out of pocket for a date you asked for whether she agrees to go should not entitle her to pay for your suggestion. If he respected her, he would acknowledge that he needs to pay because he asked. I'm respecting myself by not coming out of pocket for a date that was proposed to me. It's disrespect to propose a date and expecting them to pay.

Why are you guys bringing in paying for someone's time. He's not paying for my time, he's being appreciative. Likewise I'm being appreciative for showing up. You guys are totally ignoring the part where I said, and I'll put it in caps this time, I WILL GLADLY PAY FOR A DATE THAT I ASKED SOMEONE TO GO ON.

Lol, that's what I said. Atleast we agree on something. Lol

OMG, perfect recipe for suffering, anxiety and depression. What a story.

Sex worker? How dies that even fit into the picture. No one is speaking about that kind of dynamic. There's no mixing the two with me and one doesn't have anything to do with the other. Are you going to turn away your party guests because they didn't bring anything to the party. If you're having a party and you invite me, it's up to me to bring a drink or anything, it shouldn't be expected because you invited me. Idk, maybe it's a generation thing and I'm from a different generation. Plenty of both men and women agree with my stance in this matter and it has nothing to do with treating some one like a sex worker. Those things don't enter my mind when I'm discussing normal things.

I'm filtering out people who don't have manners, who feel entitled to people's time and energy, feel entitled to just ask to go out with you on a romantic date and doesn't know how to show their appreciation for you saying yes. Reverse and I'll gladly pay for showing how I appreciate your saying yes. I can show my appreciation on the date for you asking me out as a woman in many ways. Opening your side of the car door for you after you've let me in, showing respect to you throughout the date, giving you my undivided attention and sharing with you a lovely experience. Genuine and authentically cheap is all the guy will be showing me if he expects me to pay my half.

Guys, if there's a store that requires purchase just for entering the store (just for arguments sake), once you enter the store you're expected to purchase something - that's the rule of the store. Would you ask someone guy or girl to accompany you to that store just because you wanted company and didn't want to go alone. Would you expect them to purchase something out of their pocket just because you asked them to go with you. It's common decency to offer to purchase something for them in this instance because you asked for the companionship. It's the same thing. You guys are the ones reading into this too much. It's simple, ask someone to go on a date you pay. Don't ask if you aren't willing to pay. If the other party says they'll pay then so be it. I don't know how that's arrogance or entitlement. Far from it. It's called decency, maturity, good etiquette and being responsible. Period. End of story.

Is it arrogant to say I will pay for a guy I asked to go out on a date with. I doubt you'd say that's arrogant. Why is the opposite arrogant. I'm sorry, but please don't ask me to go out with you on a date and expect me to pay for it. That's just entitlement and being rude. Doesn't matter if I like you or not. Expecting him to pay doesn't equal to me not being attracted to him or liking him as a person. Nothing to do with that. It's etiquette I'm dealing with here. Not me feeling entitled. Don't ask for a date and expect me to pay and I won't ask you for a date and expect you to pay either.

I wouldn't be ruling a guy out for not paying, I would rule him out for expecting me to pay for a date he asked me out on. That's just bad, really bad. Really, really, really bad. That's enough for me to never want to take the date any further. That to me is equivalent to me approaching you, telling you how much I like you and want to spend time with you and then asking you to pay for the time together. If the woman wants to pay fine, but don't expect her to.

Sorry, but that's just not my mindset. Has nothing to do with equal rights or not or spiral dynamics stages. A better mindset is what mindset the person has and is relative. There are no rules in this game other than what the person sets for themselves. If I ask a man out, I will pay the bill in total. I just don't ask men out. If I ask my gf to accompany me to dinner, I will also gladly pay her share if she doesn't suggests otherwise. If a gf asks me to go to dinner with her and she wants to pay my share, I'll suggest leaving the tip if she lets me and i will insist on it until she really insists back that it's all on her. I'm not referring to just casual platonic dating, I'm referring to a real date with a man that asked me out. It has nothing to do with me liking him for him and not because he paid. It's about etiquette and consideration. Don't ask me out and expect me to pay. Why put someone in a spot to say they can't afford it. Nothing wrong on saying that to a group of people or a gf, but it's very inappropriate to put a lady through that. Just pay up if you ask, it's that simple. Forget about all that women's right stuff and spiral dynamics.

Exactly, some men just aren't that hard up about it, especially if he likes her. They really enjoy it, whether it leads to anything more or not. Some women will offer to pay because they don't want you to feel like now they owe you something.

I was the victim of a horrible pick-up line today. I was alone sitting down and he pranced upon me (kinda scared me shitless) and said, "excuse me, I was wondering if you could give me directions - directions to your heart". Then he actually paused and looked at me waiting for an answer. I just couldn't help but to just look at him in awe, like wtf are you saying. Then after the brief silence he asked if I was single, and I said no. Then he said, I admire beauty, have a nice day and walked away. I hate pick-up-lines. Just say hi, are you alone or hi, I'm Jeff, would you like some company or something ordinary like that. Not that the line was that bad but that he expected an answer. That's not leaving me open to reciprocate, it's leaving me open to look at you like what the fuck was that. Nobody is going to mind a "hi, I'm so and so what's your name", because that's generic and doesn't leave much room for criticism or leave you speechless. It's a mistake to prance upon an unsuspecting female with a line like that because you just set yourself up to be judged by that line and it could go either way. Why take that chance. A hi or hello doesn't have the same effect. I didn't like him anyway at first glance, so it didn't really matter, but maybe he would have been a great conversationalist and got me interested, who knows. That's just me. Even if he were handsome, I probably would have treated the situation the same way, because I'm not swayed by just looks. He wasn't ugly, just average looking but his approach turned me off to even want to engage any further.

This is just not true. I see older ordinary looking women getting stuff paid for but usually by men they know or are dating. One doesn't always have to be hot, average looking women are also getting women privileges. Maybe just not as much. And stop saying just for existing. If they weren't in demand or being looked at and gawked at and admired and whatever else, it wouldn't be a thing. I love my cat just for existing. If I was attracted to handsome men I wouldn't say just for existing because there's a reason, I love handsome men. The beautiful women are serving a purpose to those who love them and it's more than just them existing. If you love a beautiful woman just for the way she looks why say she's just existing. If you love a particular shoes or car or clothing, it's the same thing. They all serve a purpose and the beautiful woman to certain people also does - and it could also be just for existing as a beautiful woman. That's not the woman's fault.

I agree with what you're saying and is the best way to go about it. However, there are men who don't mind the opposite (expensive dinner) and even not getting anything in return. Just going out with a woman and spending time that way is enough for some on some occasions if they can afford it. No strings attached. Those men are usually older and have been there done that and usually are already established.

Exactly, that's platonic and with casual friends. That's the way to go, but not on a romantic date where he asked me out. That's what I'm referring to.

If a guy is interested in me romantically and he wants to take me out on a date, why should I have to pay my share. Ridiculous. That's the only time I'm speaking of. If you read my other comments you'll see my stance on who asked who out. To briefly explain, if it's platonic then it all depends on the circumstances and if someone volunteers or offers to pick up the tab.

It's all Absolute. Relative is just Absolute appearing as relative. Nothing can be expressed with words. We do it because it's the only way of communicating and to make sense of what we believe we're actually experiencing. I don't get involved with all these technicalities anymore because it's all just for the mind to make it's distinctions and to complicate things. Only in day to day life and living in the dream but not on paper or speaking about this particular topic. One can't live in nondual state and function as an individual even though it's only appearing that one is functioning. It's all just one blob happening in no time and within no space for no one. Everything else is just appearances happening and coming from nowhere and going back to nowhere void of substance and meaning in the grand scheme of things. There are no real traps, no real consequences and nothing to be "beware of" this is not bypassing, it is the case. Only within the dream and the apparent individual's life there is, and I'm not denying that. I live a normal life of certain fear and I suffer and there's a me here. The difference is I apparently see it all to be a facade and only an appearance that I have nothing to do with.

If a bunch of friends gather around and one suggests for everyone to go out to eat at that time, no I dont expect the person who made that suggestion to foot the bill. We all chip in unless someone says they got it.

ok

You said friend, you need to be more specific. I'll just explain here. If it's gfs and i am prepared financially, I say nothing and just accept and see what happens. They might get the whole bill or i might pick it up. If it's a platonic male friend I'll ask if he's paying just so I know and if I'm prepared to go financially. If it's a date date then yes I expect them to foot the entire bill. All of this is if I was asked. If I ask, whomever and whatever gender I'll expect to pay unless stated otherwise. Of course excluding husbands and live-ins, that's just whoever and doesn't need negotiating just grab any wallet or purse and pay.

She don't need those requirements for you to want to sleep with her, only if it means digging into your wallet. I've never heard a guy said "if she's an authentic nice girl", would I only want to sleep with her then.

If a guy asks you out on a date, would you accept and then proceed to pay half the bill. That's not brainwashing if one is expected to foot the bill for a date they were asked to go on, it's good etiquette. If one offers, then that's a different story.

Yes, there are games that need to be played, or not, in order to accomplish your goal or get what you want. If you want to get married no games there just be upfront and act accordingly. Relationship, no games needed, just be upfront and state your stance. Just sex now is a different story because most women are not just attracted to a body, it's how you make them feel and what emotions you can stir within them. That's a bit of a challenge but only if you're the one doing the chasing. This is why you feel the need to play games here and you can't be straight up because you lack the confidence within to think you have the abilities to do so without needing to resort to games. Most women aren't about to just sleep with you like you're about just sleeping with her just because you find her body attractive, so now the games begin. How about just being genuinely attracted to the person and that will speak for itself and maybe be reciprocated back into a mutual thing because the person feels genuine interest. Take her out, get some laughs in, relax a bit and enjoy each other's company. If you can't do that, or even want to, then why do you feel entitled to their body just for kicks.