Lyubov

This is actually well put. I actually want to build on this some. To the OP: If you feel hurt that her past is different from yours, then it's up to you to work through what you are believing about yourself, what you are believing her past says about you, what you are believing about her and women in general, etc. How does this stuff make you feel? What does her past touch on for you? Anything from your past it triggers? A lot of the fear of her cheating could be deep rooted pain and envy that you "missed out" or this is all touching on some deeper wound. Blaming her and worrying about her cheating can be a sort of way of avoiding just the deep rooted pain and envy that you missed out on experiences she has had and it can even go deeper than that to stuff from feeling neglected in school or at home as a child. You gotta start digging to see what this is connected to. I don't know you or your relationship though. It can be confusing if you feel sort of unsure about the boundaries and don't know what is healthy or not in a relationship when it comes to these. This is where it's important to be building non blaming/nonjudgemental communication with her like I wrote in my previous post. I provided a good book on this. Also being really honest with yourself about your own desires, what you want in a partner, etc is incredibly important as well. I've seen there are sort of two distinct voices to this issue when it comes to a man that is bothered by his gf's sexual past. One voice says to deal with it yourself, that it's all your own insecurities, etc and another voice that says to dump her, she isn't worthy of your love, find a different girl, etc. I think there actually needs to be a sort of balance between these two. On one hand you do need to address these insecurities and go inward but also you need to be honest about what you would like in a partner and what you realistically can be comfortable with in a relationship in relation to her past experiences. There isn't anything wrong with wanting to date a woman that has a similar past or experiences as yours. But be clear and own your decisions. If you choose to stay with and marry this woman acknowledge that you compromised/sacrificed on this and decided to choose her over your emotions telling you how you feel bothered by this. Don't flip it around and then blame her for her past later and let it leech out through a lack of trust and suspicion, don't use it against her when you feel short changed. She has made you somewhat/fully aware of what her past is like it sounds like so it's up to you to be honest with yourself if you can accept it in marriage or not. I would look to honor both sides but realize you have a ton of freedom here to work through this and plenty of choices you can make, be honest with yourself where your "edge" is (the end of your comfort zone). Try to live just a little beyond it but also realize going too far from it can make life very unenjoyable. There is nothing wrong with letting go of someone if a long term future with them is too far out of your comfort zone due to your differences. Go inward but also honor who you are mostly likely to be compatible with and what you can realistically handle in a marriage. I would start with the inner stuff first and prioritize it, you can slowly adjust the outer stuff when you feel clear in your choices. I would also be working on your communication skills with her.

Stop gaslighting him and filling his head with insecurities. This is untrue. Just because you can’t intuitively read women like this doesn’t mean other guys can.

Not as simple as that. Needy precisely means he has a need not being fulfilled in the relationship. He is talking about marriage here with a woman. Not getting into bed with her for the first time. This is actually is a pretty tricky situation and is actually more complex than it first appears In the OP. I think you should start to build the communication skills with her OP so you can discuss these feelings/thoughts with her. Sit down once a week to have a meeting about the relationship. Start off with more mundane stuff and build up to deeper insecurities. This will also allow for boundaries to be discussed and reiterated as well. Look up the book “nonviolent communication.” You will also need to work on your own inner stuff, self esteem, ets so you feel secure and grounded as well. The deeper you communicate and open up with stuff like this with her the deeper your roots will need to be. She could just want some space and not feel comfortable having to explain herself all the time. It’s tricky though cause you come from a different background. The thing is it isn’t what you say, but how you say it. There are ways for you to communicate your needs to her in a way that DOESN’T dump everything on her and hurt the relationship, where she will then be likely be open to texting you more when she is with her friends, sending pics, feel support here, etc. think about what need you feel isn’t being fulfilled and how she can be an ally in the relationship for it.

When you are just meeting a woman keep your frame about “no strings attached” sex. No need to look at sex as if it’s so sacred you can’t engage in it with a woman you haven’t married . There is so much for you to learn. What you are wanting is just incredibly impractical today. No one has time for this. Getting really good in bed is actually more important IMO than technical game / pick up. You can reach “intermediate” level in pick up and do better than most of these so called “advanced” guys if you have also consciously started walking the path towards sex god statues. Women can feel when you are incredible in bed. Super intimate sex and relationship surfaces all sorts of stored traumas and can be incredibly healing if you work with a partner through them. It’s why finding a ling term partner to get good in bed with is crucial to become a sex god. One super deep long term sexual relationship with a beautiful woman will heal almost every issue you have with attracting women if you consciously take advantage of this opportunity in the relationship. I would rethink everything you’ve written here and consider having casual sex with women. From there you can find a girlfriend.

the man's guide to a woman by john gottman is really good. this is a very practical book and I actually found applying the information in this book very easy to do and very helpful in life. way of the superior man by david deida is really good for getting one interesting perspective on the masculine/feminine but it’s kind esoteric and airy fairy. I don’t necessarily agree with how he conceptualizes everything but it’s a great book for understanding women to a degree. I’ve read it twice now. It’s more for understanding your masculine side.

Really happy you have had this experience. Therapy greatly changed my life as well

I do. I can foresee it in my future. I know when I get older my desire for sex with different women will slow down. I'll be much more open to ending the chapter of playing the field. Most guys I've seen who aren't married by their 40s usually have peter pan vibes going on with them or are married to their career. I am fine spending my 30s dating and getting experience and putting lots of good miles on my dick. Make him one of those nice classic cars.

Taking a taxi or Uber back isn’t awkward at all. I used to think that but realized how silly that is. You’re creating an obstacle for yourself and making it weird believing that it’s awkward/weird. You gotta learn to sit with the tension but at that point you should already feel warmed up and in flow so it’s not really a problem. If you live like SUPER far though (1hour) via taxi then maybe it’s time to relocate to the center!

I slept with a sexy Russian movie star once and then started sleeping with her equally beautiful sister a year later. I was a savage years ago when I used to actively game ? I love the Russian hunnies!

loool I did not expect that

I think it depends what you value. I feel a rejuvenating wave of energy every time I look upon my gf’s physical beauty. But just because I may not see that in another woman it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. I do agree with what you are saying and how intimacy increases this. Pretty amazing how that occurs. I was mostly just making banter here. Beauty is subjective and everyone has different preferences and there is no better or worse, just personal preferences. I’m glad I’m able to fulfill mine in this regard. @Leo Gura they are my absolute favorite.

Nah man, I’m mostly busting balls here. It was discussed a few times before in some other threads in dating/relationship section where those gaming the US claimed it as the best and some in Europe chimed in saying how they are wrong and there are better and different dating pools out there. I have no doubt Vegas has a lot of good looking women. The problem is you gotta play the Vegas / US game to get to them though. It’s doable for sure but I will always call out how Europe is way better for game if you want to sleep with really hot women and not have to have a six figure job or be part of some inner circle.

Dude, Russia and Ukraine is literally a paradise of women. All the countries east and north of Germany as well. I don’t like number ranking beauty but I will say I find more than half of everyone I see around my age (20s/30s) sexually attractive. The numbers drop the further west you go on the northern hemisphere. Leo’s all against living in underdeveloped places, fair enough. If he can still speak decent Russian though the dude would literally drown in women out here. It’s just my preference so some will disagree.

Nope, but it’s subjective. Open a tinder and change your location to the capitals of Poland, Hungary, Romania, Russia and Ukraine. Basically almost every woman looks good to great with plenty of immaculate mixed in as well.

I’m happy for you but sexy just doesn’t make my jaw drop with envy like that anymore. They are a dime a dozen east of Germany. If you were here you would be saying “if I showed you my last five girlfriends / lays yada yada” to another guy and if he wasn’t gay he would smirk and say the same back to you! Socialism in action There is a saying that the men are spoiled rotten and don’t appreciate the beauty here (former USSR).

Gotta be hella slow to still be following Tai Lopez. Maybe if it was their first foray into self help and happened to watch some youtube videos of his like five/six years ago? I think only people dumb enough to still be following him actively are naive teenage boys / young guys that are desperate to buy a sports car and have a hot girlfriend. Guy is a total conman. Only thing I envy about him is his work ethic and ability to commit to something for so long such as pulling one new scam after another.

Wonder if the guy who sold that FAKE green energy truck will get a similar sentence if he goes to trial. pretty crazy how the same dog and pony scam shows happen at all levels of society all the way up to the very top of the financial elite.

I like her message at the end. She isn't telling women to go all natural. Just to explore what feels right and comfortable for them and explore where these forces come from. Are they doing it for themselves, society, someone else, just to be aware of them.

The music and vibe in that club was whack and offensive tho. I'm still not sold on Vegas clubs. I will gladly die on this hill that I think Vegas is super overrated for game

Never seen him in the wild like that I want more content like this

Well put. Non duality is a pretty awful conceptualization of truth anyways to follow, especially if you are looking for healing and psychological well-being. I would even choose a religion over the non dual circle jerk. Almost everyone I’ve spoken to that’s super deep into it doesn’t seem happy or very fulfilled at all in their life. It’s dry and overlooks a vast amount of terrain and mystery and joy possible through spirituality and relationships. I wish this person was able to find the help they needed. A lot of people don’t have the support and grounding around them and it’s very unfortunate. I feel bad for their family.

I got secure. I did a tremendous amount of inner work to get here. Secure doesn’t mean a relationship without problems. You can still face some very challenging issues.

? love it if it’s keeping you from sleeping with them then maybe this dynamic is getting in the way of communicating what you want out of the relationship with them. I would say your level of consciousness and psychological well-being can be one of the best gifts you can give to a girl. I can relate a bit though cause sometimes it feels like I’m playing therapist with my gf. So I think it just requires a balance, trial and error with how for wnd setting boundaries and communicating what you want. You can be helpful and a strong container and radiate sexual energy.

You need to communicate better with your bf what you want. What you said sounds humiliating for him and unfulfilling for you. Tell him what’s missing. Don’t be so scared and run around like that behind his back. that’s going to be worse for your self esteem and reputation in the long run than just working on this or leaving him because you aren’t satisfied.

Looks are super subjective. I’ve seen lots of hot girls with physically average looking guys but here is the thing… the guy looks good because he dresses nice, takes care of himself, has a sense of fashion, looks confident cause he has a hot woman, etc. So usually I find it’s very hard to find a guy unattractive if he has a hot gf cause he takes care of himself and looks happy. I’ve rarely if ever seen a truly unhappy horribly maintained guy with a hot woman. Even the most chubby guys I’ve seen with a hot gf look happy and handsome and take good care of themselves.