Molaric

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Posts posted by Molaric

  2. Posted

    1 hour ago, Carl-Richard said:

    If you like metal, I actually had this very thought some few days ago: I think "Grind" by Gojira is one of the best metal songs ever made (and I've been around the block). Catchy as fuck, cutting-edge production, creative, pristine, soulful, transcendent.

     

    All of Gojira's songs are great quality IMO. I personally like their older albums.

  3. Posted

    7 hours ago, Space said:

    @Molaric Yea its a tough one to overcome, but it can be done. 

    The thing is you don't really want to quit video games. You're just telling yourself it's a good thing to quit, so you end up fighting with yourself and making things more difficult. Which I understand because I'm in that position as well. I'm mildly addicted to video games atm, but it's not too crazy and it doesn't stop me doing work. I play maybe 1-2 hours a day. So I understand your position.

    When I've quit games in the past I've often have thoughts like 'What will my life be like in 5 years if I quit now vs if I kept on playing?', and 'I know I'm not gonna play this game forever so whats the difference between quitting sometime in the future vs quitting now. I may as well just quit now and do other things'.

    But here's a few ideas and ways forward:

    1) Force yourself to go cold turkey. This is actually possible. The trick is to push through the initial withdrawals which may be days, may be weeks depending on the game and your level of addiction. 

    You have to accept and come to terms with the fact that you're not gonna play league ever again. It's like a breakup. You're not ever gonna see that person again and it fucking sucks. Same with video games. But you will get over it. You're not gonna be crying about it for the rest of your life. But you'll be glad that you let it go. 

    And then when you inevitably have a bunch of free time you start thinking about other things you could be doing. You automatically fill up that time with other things which helps to forget about the video game. 

    2) Another idea is to just swap it for another game. I haven't ever played league but I've heard its a life destroying brain rot of a game. So i'd say any other game is probably gonna be better for you. I mean there's so many other games that you could play on a more casual basis that still allow you chill out and have fun, but don't destroy your attention and time like LOL does. 

    3) A common bit of advice here is to swap the video game out for some other activity, like sport, some other hobby, maybe even pickup, or going to the gym. But it needs to be something that is really really fun and has the same 'chilled' easy going vibe that playing video games has, otherwise you'll still want to go back to the video games.

    4) Another common piece of advice is to have a ridiculously strong and awesome vision for your life that overpowers your desire to play video games. This is definitely possible but video games are so damn addictive and easy to access these days that i'd say this is pretty hard to achieve.

    Anyway, hope that helps.

    I'll try these thank you

  4. Posted

    I hope you guys had a great New Year and Christmas (if you celebrate it)!

    I am installing better hobbies and things to do in my life in order to replace my league of legends addiction, however it's just really hard for me to focus on things such as reading and studying computer science concepts and I just space out and think about the game over and over. I try to ignore it and focus on coding and other pursuits but it gets unbearable each day I'm not playing it to where it took me like 90 minutes to read 10 pages of a book, granted it was a difficult academic book on algorithms but still it's a little insane to think about. I just always want to play and watch more content, it never ends. I want to have a good future socially, with my developer skills, and career-wise but at the same time I also just have a strong desire to just play league all day for the rest of my life idk. I just can't imagine what life is like without playing games, it's just so weird to me as it's all I've known since I was 8. I'm gonna look for therapist soon and maybe that'll help but I came here wondering what tips or lessons would you give to deal with this lack of focus/motivation on other pursuits issue that comes with my addiction in the short-term and long-term. I felt less attached then I did in the past to the game but it's still really strong. :(

  6. Posted

    22 minutes ago, Ragib Ashraf said:

    Bro this may sound fucked up but I actually get kinda motivated by your posts because you frequently complain about a bunch of shit and it just reminds me that I can't end up like that and I have to go out there and solve this shit. 

    Just look at our mans Leo. He went from Russian nerd loser to dmt smoking millionaire boss player who fucks plenty bad bitches galore. It's possible dude. It ain't happening by consulting random strangers online all the time

    Based

  11. Posted

    8 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

    By socializing with people who have substance.

    Average people are on the surface and you cant expect much from them(so just see them for what they are and see its not compatible) but sometimes you get surprised..

    If you can have fun with yourself with those people then you are on the great path...

    I don't have really high expectations for people I talk to, I just want a way to not fall asleep in interactions. I'll find more interesting people here and there, that's not really a concern I generally know where to look.

  12. Posted

    I find myself often getting bored in conversations and talking about my life, especially when I end up talking to multiple people over a course of a day and I end up talking about the same thing over and over. I'm practicing saying what comes to my mind and I have done better with it, but I have found myself just repeating the things I talk about and end up ending the conversation early most of the time cause I get bored. I also kind of struggle with just remembering things about my past even though I have done great things and could've been great conversational points and pivots, but without it the convo gets dry fast and ends up being small talk for extended periods. I'm reading mastery and the book says to enjoy the process and moment but I can't seem to find the joy in this process of being better socially. I just don't get the fun of it, the process of doing it just seems so mindless and I usually like to do things that involve thinking/planning but this is a skill that just throws it out the window so it kind of rattles me (nothing wrong with that, I appreciate that getting better at this skill means accessing the non-logical part of my mind). I have gotten a lot better then I had in the past but this process just feels bland to me, are there any ways that the people on this forum find the joy in it that I haven't thought of? I will get better at this skill, I just need some way of making the process more bearable so I won't burn out or something -_-.

    I'm thinking if this issue is because of my withdraws from my addictions making life boring compared to my addiction or just because I'm relatively new to this skill, or both.

  15. Posted

    Today I had an outburst with my mother when she was scolding me somewhat, and I just lost control and started to scream and bang my arms on a table. I ended up in fetal position crying intensely. I don't know what it is about her but I feel this primal like rage and irritation whenever she interacts with me. Is there something fucked up with me? I really dislike her

  16. Posted

    Hello I'm in high school as a senior (17) and I find it hard to approach girls consistently. I'm at this weird middle area where I'm too young to do night game and too old to approach a lot of the younger girls due to potential age gap. I don't have the sheer volume at the moment with people that are my age, so is it better to wait for college then start approaching and build social skills in the meantime? I don't have a lot of ideas of what I can do right now.

  18. Posted

    14 minutes ago, aurum said:

    @Molaric

    Do you think you could be misdiagnosing the problem?

    Unless you’re on the autism spectrum, most people with an average upbringing are perfectly capable of reading social cues. Your brain is literally wired to do this, the same way we could say a dog’s nose is wired to smell.

    So if you can’t do what a human being is meant to do, consider that the problem isn’t that you haven’t read enough books or watched enough YT videos on socializing. Consider that the problem is that you are not intune with your own signals. Most likely because you struggle with relaxing, and therefore your nervous system is in a state of fight-or-flight, which is anti-social.

    You can of course read books and study body language. Charisma on Command is a good YT channel for this. But that’s honestly not what is going to make the biggest difference for people.

    The biggest difference is going to come from relaxing your nervous system and socializing a lot.

    Of course now that I said this, relaxing may become the new thing that you start to stress about. Is my nervous system relaxed enough??? Am I in fight or flight??? But you gotta start somewhere.

    My parents say I'm on the spectrum but I don't really align with much of the symptoms. I do relate to this nervousness since I don't want to sound weird and I try to improve my nonverbal mannerisms since whenever I do speak people give me weird looks and reactions. I just try to say something, but it always feels off and alien-ish to others I notice. 

  23. Posted

    On 9/4/2021 at 8:41 AM, flowboy said:

    Here's your sticking point. You have a filter on what you are willing to say. How much of what goes on inside you, you are willing to share.

    The requirement: "meaningful", is probably only the tip of the iceberg.

    How many other requirements for what you say, do you have?

    Does it have to:

    • Not make you look stupid?
    • Not make the other person feel bad?
    • Not make the other person be mad at you?
    • Not be too revealing about your inner psychology?
    • Not make you look weak?
    • Not make the other person judge you as ...?

    When you can't think of anything to say, how would you feel about saying: "I can't think of anything to say?"

    A conversation only comes to a halt when thoughts or feelings come up that you aren't willing to share. (Or aren't aware of, or don't know how to put into words)

    For example, when one person talks about something that seems smart and interesting, and you can't think of anything meaningful to say, it might be because you don't actually care or understand that topic, and would rather talk about something else.

    So why not talk about something else?

    I do have those filters/requirements you mentioned above, and if I usually run out of things to say I would just stand/sit in silence until something pops up.

  24. Posted

    2 minutes ago, Kalki Avatar said:

    When you put expectations on yourself like becoming better at social skills and women, you pressure yourself and almost always fck up. 

    The trick is that the self improvement has to occur almost unconsciously without intention of wanting to improve. The reason one improve is because of survival. If you truly were to see yourself almost dying, you would take action without much thought. Alot of courage and action will rise naturally. If you place yourself in an enviornment, without looking to get better at social skills, you will improve through time automatically. Either a job or going to the same club like its your home. You just stay there in social enviornments without looking for results and expectations. You will then truly improve alot faster. 

    Then only after you have built some decent confidence and skill, you may intentionally start to aim with some expectation. Still, I dont use expectations. I let the enviornment make me improve. 

    I don't care too much about the result or expectation as much as I used to, but I still want to measure progress to see what I need to change and all that. I feel like forcing action (in moderation as to avoid ego backlash) is what works best for me as I tend to stick to hard things once I get started.