KaRzual

@EmptyVase Massive post. Thank you, very needed.

Today i grasped a phenomenon that i've been noticing for a long time. During the warmup before kickboxing training i've expierenced not being. I literally didnt exist. There was no one to claim "i am". The warmup is guided by one of the pro fighters and the other follow and do what the guide is doing. As soon as i started noticing that the "I" has came up. It felt like a resistance and rising tension. I let go of everything and let the things be it's way, gave up the control. I feel like i had a glimpse of what awaking might be, then the "I" came to play. Mind joining me in discussion guys and elaborating this topic?

Thanks Yeah i get it. I wondered lately if i'm just programmed somehow do do exactly those things which i currently do. Is it determinism? How do i really surrender? How do i give up control without having control to do so?

Beautiful words

Indeed they have. But so far what i've noticed it's not really that related with pleasure.

Woah such a bad answers in the majority. But i gotta admit i'd agree with most of them like 2 years ago. I think the most important trait of every man and woman to keep the other person attracted is being true self. Like really - what kind of man you are to do some stuff only in hope of attracting women that way? Coming from a guy who's into gym and martial arts tho.

Yeah and in my case i've got pretty ambivalent approach. Sometimes i'd edge myself shitload of times during the week thinking that busting a nut to porn and jerking off is something bad for me and potentially worsening my sex during the weeknd and something (like this week) i'm like - yeah i'm not really proud of it but fuck it - imma not restrain myself and jerk off when i want to. And this second approach is really cool. It's something as Leo says - i'm pretty energetic and i'm up for doing my stuff so it's cool for me.

Leo do you watch porn or actually cut if off?

@SQAAD Mind telling more about this suffering and what caused it? I'm really curious.

I mean it's really damned hard for me to stay conscious through the day. When i let my mind slip in it causes havoc, monkey mind and makes me unhappy. When i feel into my emotions i feel pretty ok even when they are "negative" ones (or so called by the mind). How do you guys stay conscious in your life? Is it that hard for you too?

Okay i get it. By not eating junk food you eat healthy ones. But what about monkey mind? You replace that with what? I found in my personal experience that paying attention to my emotions and how i feel is a gamechanger.

@Eternal Unity Thanks for your reply Greg. I was just wondering if i'm that prone to monkey mind and being lost in thoughts and concepts or it is a more popular state. It is hard and i see fruits of my labor arleady. I can't wait to see more of them!

And how did you achieve that grounding/knowing?

I feel like i should into many things. All this while trying to live my life and having some fun. That's hard.

THANKS! Reading through it right now.

Mind telling me more about labeling meditation?

Great advice, really solid. I'm going to try it from now.

So yeah i'm in the place of getting my life together. And i'm pretty ok with feeling bad. But what drives me crazy is my constant inner chatter which tries to undermine whatever i do/however i feel.

Anxiety = resisting? What do you guys think? And i have one additional question - what is (or are) a specific emotion that pulls and keeps One in "the past"?

This guy got this right

this

Hey guys. I'm struggling with certain feeling (or whatever this is). This is happening much rarer lately but it's still a problem when it does. I feel massive anxiety. Something like panic, i feel doom. And i don't know why. It happens mostly around people but not only. It happens also when i trip on shrooms or lsd. If i don't navigate my behaviour or thoughts i fall into this trap of incoming doom. I hate it. This is terrible. I feel miserable then, out of control and hopeless. I can't even name it, i can't even tell you guys what i'm having problem with. This is very hard for me. When i happens i feel massive tension. I feel not good enough. I feel sad and anger. I feel sorry for myself. I want to shout and run away. Everything pisses me off then and i can't be near people. This happened on weddings before and other social gathering. I can't stand sitting and talking and doing this stuff. I feel massive anxiety. Guys i really want to hear something from you. What i wrote is pretty chaotic but i can't write that out more "properly". Does somebody have similiar experience? Why does this happen?

Typing this out and thinking pretty much helped me - i feel like i care too much about others opinions and i drift away from myself. From myself which is sometimes chaotic, destructive and not cool. But that's cool. That's me. The question is - How can i keep this focus on myself and live in that moment?> When i do that feels great. I feel alive.

Maybe that's becouse i care about their opinion too much? Focusing on myself would be btter option and experiencing myself without distortions?

What is the answer? Be able to take care of myself 100% time? Like 100%? How?