Jai

Sep 22 + Spiritual practice: Good today. Chanted again in the morning. Definitely a little rusty. I want to start listening to an audio of it so i can internalize it more. Couldn't download it on my phone. Might make a ghetto recording so I can do it. + Attitude of service: Good outward energy. Not overly stuck in self. + Life habits: Good here. Overall good habits. - Distraction/off at work: Finished the day strong but was distracted early on. Not overly stressed, just distracted. Not the same focus and drive I'm used to. So tomorrow I want a clearer picture of things and to move forward here. Really want to have quality effort at work. / Mental and emotional states: Good except for distraction mentioned already. Plus fell a little in to doubt. Not too much but a little. Overall: Good day. Not as energized as yesterday but I'm still moving forward everyday. Some room for improvement but still a solid effort. So tomorrow I want to improve.

Sep 21 + Spiritual practice: Great today. Did a morning chanting session and still got to work early. Downloading an audio of the chants, hope I can get it to work on my phone. Listened to a good spiritual podcast. Meditation and prayer was strong. So this was really strong today. Felt connected for most of the day. I'm definitely inviting god into my life and it's having a cumulative affect. I want to keep riding this out. + Attitude of service: volunteered to help out at my home group. Good outward energy all day. Trying to be helpful at work. I definitely have good orientation and I want to keep it like this. Also turned in my parking pass for work so I can save $12 + Life habits: Also strong. Really good efforts and habits. Bad habits are disappearing. + Mental and emotional states: Really strong. Hit a small dip after lunch, just got a little sleepy and I noticed the dip in energy also affected my outlook. But really positive and connected today. This is the type of mental and emotional strength I want. Keep building toward days like this. + Overall: Really solid day. This is what I strive for. Feeling connected and feeling like I'm making progress toward God's ideal for me. So overall that was great. Just want to keep after it tomorrow. I know adversity will come and not everyday will be like today. The point is if I maintain a solid practice then an off day is just temporary and I'm always close to another strong day.

Sep 20 + Spiritual practice: Good. Typical weekend intensity you could say. Not as robust as during the week but still present. Going to do a second meditation session now. Have lost consistency with chanting though. I want to find a way to work it back in. + Attitude of service: Great example here today. I went in the grocery store and there were no carts. So I walked outside and grabbed one, on my way back in I saw a guy go in and turn around looking for a cart. I gave him mine. He was surprised and said really? and i said no big deal, because there was another one not too far away. Later in the store he saw me again and thanked me and said that that wasn't common and most people don't do that. I said something like we're all on the same team, no worries. This is exactly the attitude i want and what I want to be doing. I want to see opportunities like this and be on my toes and be helpful to others. I felt really good after, way better than if I would've just ignored the guy and went in with the cart myself. I need to keep training and reorienting myself toward service and being helpful. Today was a really nice example. Most days there aren't too many opportunities to be helpful like that. At work it's just the normal being helpful. Not too many clear opportunities like that in the world so I'm glad I was ready. + Life habits: Good. Good habits overall. Slower intensity because it's a weekned but didn't fall into any bad habits. I'm on a good retention streak. today is day 9. I want to ride this out some. This level of sexual energy is basically what i have to deal with if I want to stay on retention. It's just dealing with a high level sexual energy and not making excuses/justifications to release. A lot of it is just maintaining committment in a few key moments. I want to get used to dealing iwth this high level energy and master it. So I want to see how I can keep this streak going. + Mental and emotional states: good. never fell into negativity, fear, worry, doubt, regret, etc. Good focus overall and good orientation toward the world. I want to keep this up this week. The real challenge is on an off day. Just not wavering and keeping faith and trust in God. On the bad days i probably have to be a bit stoic. Really just not let a bad day affect me and not go to the thoughts of regret over leaving my last job and worry about if I'm on the right path. Overall: Really solid day all around. Probably one of the better Sunday's i've had. Usually sunday I can feel somewhat anxious about the work week. But today I was pretty connected all day. That's the way I want to have it. Really enjoy my weekends and not get consumed with work. Also felt good to see my sister this weekend, hang out with both sponsees, go to the temple and meditate, get in my goal for hours on my computer course. So solid week and gonna carry that in to tomorrow.

Sep 19 + Spiritual practice: Met up with a friend and had a meditation session. Went well. Also did a prayer session. + Attitude of service: pretty good today. Was helpful in some ways. Good outward energy. / Life habits: Okay, but didn't eat clean. Kinda feel it also from that. Noramlly have great discipline there. + Mental and emotional states: Good. Was positive and optimistic. Felt pretty connected throughout the day. Overall: Good day all around. Was helpful to a friend, tried to be helpful in general. Also felt pretty connected.

Sep 18 + Spiritual practice: I had a good session this morning. Prior to meditation did an alternative WHM technique. That was good to mix it up. Good morning session overall. + Attitude of service: Good at work. Really good outward energy. Really good effort toward being helpful to others. So I want to keep this up. Never really lost an outward focus. + Life habits: Good. I took a little extra sleep this morning because I was tired. Really good decision becasue I had good energy and vitality all day. Also backed off of the run and bodyweight exercises. Still strong habits overall. + Mental and emotional states: REally good. It's too bad everyday can't be this strong. Really positive and focused. Maybe it's a friday thing. Anyway I finished the week strong. Was optimistic and nothing got to me. So I want to keep this up. On tougher days it's almost like I can't take some of the doubts seriosuly. I want to get better at just brushing them off. I know with how consistent I've been that most my days are good overall, and I usually feel pretty connected. The point is that I want to really develop a way to deflect doubt, worry, fear, negativity, etc. Even on an off day I'm never far off from a good day. So that's what I need to remind myself. The off days are really just a test. On those days I want to recommit to my goals and just stick with it. Overall: Great day all around. A lot to be proud of today.

Sep 17 + Spiritual practice: Good morning session. I love having this built into my day as a top priority. + Attitude of service: Good desire to be helpful. Was able to have decent outward energy even though it was kind of a tough day. + Life habits: Good. Got up early and faced the cold. Ran outside in a t shirt. Took a cold shower. Something about facing the cold brings good strength and discipline. Other habits good also. / Mental and emotional states: I did pretty good but also fell into a little fear and worry. Work is definitely demanding and it will be difficult for some time. Things just aren't going to go smoothly. Today I didn't maintain a strong energy all day. I fell into some worry and just feeling overwhelmed. But I did recognize it and did counter it by relying on God. Plus tomorrow is Friday so just have to survive tomorrow. Overall: i can say I moved forward today. I had good effort. Good habits, a good attitude. I just felt a little worried/stressed for part of the day. Tomorrow I want to keep up with the good things. Tough days will happen from time to time. I also just have to expect adversity at work. There is no way around it. I'm still learning the job and just have to keep moving forward a little everyday.

Sep 16 + Spiritual practice: Good morning session. My chanting is inconsistent tho. Need to figure out a way to work this in. + Attitude of service: Good outward energy today. Not stuck inner torment. Good outward energy. + Life habits: Good. Didn't want to get out of bed at 4:15am. I did anyway and had good morning habits. I'm really living heatlhy. + Mental and emotional states: Better here. Was on the positive side of things today. Kept it together in the face of adversity. Not too much adversity today, but sometimes if I'm having an off day I can fall into worry. I've settled in to work and I want to keep the positivity up. + Orientation toward others: I've had a lot of imporvement here so it's time to note it. I'm not as critical of others as I was before. Good progress here. I"m noticing good things and potential in others. This feels a lot better. So I want to keep this up. Overall: Not too much negative to report. Solid day overall. Working a lot and I think this is just life now. There is no end. No long vacations or part time schedule. It's just a lot of work and routine and got to enjoy life when I can. Good news is that I have a lot of healthy habits and lifestyle things that are fun. Probably need a little more excitement from time to time but I can work toward that. Other thing is that I can't get distracted and discouraged by work. This is just life now. I got to accept it and meet these circumstances. I normally like time off but I got to fix my finances and rely on God to do the best I can in this situation.

morning journal session Today I want to stay positive. Yesterday I wasn't exactly negative but I sunk a little into worry about work and if things will get done. Was also worried about what other people think since I couldn't really be helpful in certain situations just becasue either I didn't know an answer or becasue it wasn't really in my area. The problem is this hindered me a little. Yesterday I had good habits, good actions, even recognized the mental and emotional adversity and did a pretty good job of countering it. So overall there was a lot of progress. Today I'm hoping to keep up all the good habits and even feel positive throughout the day. When I feel connected I'm definitely of more help to others. The recent development is feeling frustrated at times with coworkers. When this happens it's not really anything other people do. It's because I'm in a state of worry about things and then that displays itself with frustration. So that is the strategy for today. The other thing I would like to do is to have trust and patience. I don't want to worry about work and the future. I've done a good job of avoiding this thus far. For the most part I've really improved my faith. So that is also a goal for today. Over the past almost 5 months I've had a really strong spiritual practice. So I've grown a lot here. it's been the centerpeice of everything really and the top priority. I want to keep this and the good habits up. Today, I had some mental energy trying to talk me out of all the good habits. I don't want to give in to that. I want to keep a strong practice. Even if I feel sometimes tired by this I would like to keep it up and know that most days I feel really energized by these good habits and the spiritual practice i have/

Sep 15 + Spiritual practice: good but drowsy during my morning meditation. Good effort overall. / Attitude of service: Good, but a little bothered that I'm not more knowledgeable at work. I fell into a little inner turmoil. Became a little worried about what others think/stress. This lessened my effectiveness. Part of it was mental, i was more focused on myself and my own problems and I didn't have a really strong outward energy. + Life habits: Good. Really healthy. Lots of discipline. Got to keep it up. + Mental and emotional states: This was good. I really countered the adversity well. Was very watchful and noticed the changes. This was tough to do so I can get some credit there. I had a little dip today and felt the stress a little more, but I still did well overall. / Today I was again a little bothered and frustrated at work. It's a reflection that i fell a little into worry, doubt, fear, etc. It came forth in some interactions with coworkers. I'd really like to improve this here and not have this be a habit. When helping others I have to forget other tasks. Overall: Good day with actions even though I didn't feel super energized. I'd did put forth good effort and did have a pretty good reaction to adversity. So I want to keep that up and really bring the same effort tomorrow. I want to improve my optimism and faith and not worry about work. Have faith that things will get done and bring a good attitude toward helping others.

Sep 14 + Spiritual practice: Really good morning session. Really feeling oriented with a good spiritual podcast. Morning session starts it all. Really felt well connected this morning. Also maintained a pretty good God focus during the day. I want to keep an awareness and an orientation toward God's will. + Attitude of service: Good overall. Made an emphasis to bring good outward energy and to be helpful at work. + Life habits: Really good. Had good energy and motivation today. Want to carry this through all week. + Mental and emotional states. Actually pretty good overall but was also tested. I got a little discouraged at work. The truth is the work never ends. That's why it's work. There's always more to do every week. So I was a little down by this, just because I don't have a whole lot of expertise. I recognized this and still had good actions all day. And I countered it pretty well. I guess that's the real win. Not being overwhelmed by it and just accepting it, things like that are going to happen at work. - Frustration at work. Was a little frustrated with a coworker. All my fault here. Nothing to be frustrated about. I think it has to do with not being able to answer a whole lot of questions. So I feel frustrated because I don't have answers. Need to keep a watchful eye out for this. i would like to avoid falling into negative emotion like this and having it affect me. Overall: A really solid day with all things. Good habits, good orientation, good attitudes. Was faced with some adversity, felt a little dip but reacted well. Recognized my fault in being frustrated but I want to keep improving. So just carry this over into tomorrow the best I can.

Sep 13 + Spiritual practice: Really strong meditation and prayer session with a friend. Was cool to do breathwork, meditation, and a prayer session together. Double the force of it + Attitude of service: Good today. Outward energy. Looking to be helpful. Found small ways to be considerate. + Life habits: Strong day. Really good cold shower. Really good day for exercise. I gain quality enjoyment from good things. + Mental and emotional states: Really strong. Basically spent the whole day in positivity, except for a brief visit from worry in the afternoon. But just got back into good habits. I don't want to worry much about work. All it is is an opportunity for service so not much to worry about. I want to keep unplugging during the weekend and keep doing my best to stay away from the anxiety and worry. Overall: Great day today. Hung out with my friend who is doing well in life. He's also a spiritual person so it feels good to know other people walking this path. Really felt good and connected today. Perfect way to raise the energy for this week. I want to bring this all in to this week and set a high standard. That's really the goal. Last week I struggled with lower energy than normal. I still had a decent week but didn't feel the same level of connection. I want my connection to stay high.

Good stuff. Thanks for sharing. I'm over a year no porn, have a decent retention pattern - usually release once a week. Last week I released 3 days in a row and felt let down. I had a tough week as a result. I have a lower and lower tolerance for lack of discipline in this area. I think I should give long term retention a try. To really gain mastery over this energy. Your story and wisdom with this is good. Thanks

Sep 12 + Spiritual practice: Good morning session. Settled nicely into meditation. + Attitude of service: Looking to be helpful to a friend who visited. + Life habits: pretty healthy day overall. + Mental and emotional states: Good here. Improvement from yesterday. Back to a place of optimism and feeling connected. Overall: Solid day. Kept busy and enjoyed a day off. Felt like I'm back on the right track.

Sep 11 / Spiritual practice: Okay but not up to my high standard. Had a shorter meditation because I woke up a little late. + Attitude of service: Good today at work. I want to keep this up. Had good effort here. / Life habits: Okay but I slept in, didn't exercise in the morning. It was a tough week so I felt a little worn down. I want to get pumped again for next week. / Mental and emotional states: Okay but not great. I wasn't exactly negative but I also wasn't energized. This weekned I'll regroup and go into next week strong. Overall: Generally a good day. A lot of my actions were good. I just fell out of normal routine with some things. I also didn't have a strong mental and emotional presence like I normally do. But I'm still doing well and going to bounce back strong and get back to what has been a normally strong state over the last few months.

Sep 10 + Spiritual practice: Good. Really good morning session of prayer and meditation - Attitude of service: Really good most of the day. But then I got frustrated and was not super helpful to a coworker. Normally I have a really strong helpful attitude but it was the end of the day and I was a little frustrated. I saw it happening, and after I knew I was wrong. It really took the wind out of my sails... which is good I guess. It shows that this is important to me. So gonna talk with her and express that I wasn't at my best. / Life habits: good but then I ate a piece of pie out with my friend. It's not necesarily bad, because I almost never do this but I have to ask myself is it worth it. It felt good to meet up with a friend for a treat, but it also costs money and it isn't the habit I want. / Mental and emotional states: Really good, but then lost my attitude of service. Kept it together in this area pretty well. Recognized I was wrong. The episode hasn't thrown me off too much. Just haven't been as positive as I normally am. Still climbing back to a consistent strong place. What's been throwing me off is a little regret and self questioning about leaving my last job. That creeps back. Overall: In many ways a really good day. Most of my actions were good. My issue at work was really just minor and internal. So actually a pretty great day. I got a decent amount done at work, met up with a friend, had good habits but let myself have a treat. So have to give some credit. The issue is probably just faith about the path I'm on. I'm just in a little doubt from time to time and just have to stick with it.

Sep 9 + Spiritual practice: Good today. Good morning session. Was a little drowsy but still did okay. Got to reinitiate my interest in chanting. I'm almost to the end of this chant, so I want to tough it out and learn the last page or so. + Attitude of service: Good here. Dropped what I was doing to help out with a task my boss asked me to do. Good because I had a really good attitude toward this. I like having opportunities for service like this. And it was something I felt capable of doing and did pretty quick. I definitely want to be capable with things like this. Overall good outward energy at work. Felt useful and productive. Also spoke with my sponsee and am trying to be helpful. I really hope my experience is valuable. + Life habits: Good here. Took an extra 15 minutes of sleep but i still went out for a run while it was snowing. Then took a cold shower. Had a good day of habits in general. + Mental and emotional states. Good progress here. Definitely better than yesterday. Overall good, but still not where i want to be. I was in a little funk and now i'm on my way out of it. I want to get to that consistent optimistic place i've been operating at for awhile. So today pretty strong, never fell into negativity. Overall: Another solid day. Pretty effective overall. In a pretty good state of peace and calm. Not stuck in regret over leaving my last job. I had a strong dream about that last night. So it is definitley a deep thought pattern. I'm grateful for it, there are some things I miss. But this is also a good opportunity and I'm moving forward pretty good. So my focus has to be on the life i'm building. A day at a time I'm building good habits and making progress.

Sep 8 + Spiritual practice: Good but I have stalled out on chanting. I'm not learning new lines. So my overall spiritual practice is solid, just have to find time to practice chanting / Attitude of service: Pretty good overall. Was helpful at work. But fell into a little funk after work and lost gratitude and fell into some worry. Not horrible but there. So I lost some of the outward energy. + Life habits: Good. Wake up early, exercise, diet is good. Strong habits. / Mental and emotional states: Good, but fell into a little funk. Good for most of the day, but at the end after work I lost gratitude. I lost the connection with spirit that I've been used to. I think this is related to my weekend funk. I've got some momentum back, but I'm not where I want to be or where I've normally been at over the past few months. I definitely predict over the next two days I'll get back to where I was. And this is a minor funk all things considered. Overall: Actually a pretty solid day. Good habits, good attitude at work. Good effort. Just kinda fell into a little funk. It isn't even that bad, it's just the lack of gratitude and connection. It's all around money. I feel regret over leaving my last job that paid better. I don't think i'm making progress fast enough. So when I get into a funk I lose gratitude, I don't trust God, and I lose connection. I lose sight of how great my life is overall. And I lose faith that more good things are on the way. All I really have to do is keep investing in God.

Sep 7 + Spiritual practice: Good here. Good morning practice. Chanted also. although on Monday's I feel a little rushed because I go into work so I lose the time i normally owuld have to 15 minute commute. + Attitude of service. Overall good. One minor disturbance where I felt bothered a little talking to someone at work. Not a big deal at all because I noticed it and it was an exception. Good outward energy today. + Life habits: overall good. Really good discipline today. Got up early and made a solid day. Had the right intention and right effort in the morning. + Mental and emotional states. Back on the right track. So much better than this weekend. Really recovered today and pointing in the right direction. Gotta pick up some steam and keep this train moving. Amazing how distraction over online dating plus lack of sexual discipline can redirect solid mental states into confusion. It was pretty clear to see. So gonna keep this strong all through the week. Overall: Solid day. Moved forward. Good habits and effort on my part. Good overall.

Sept 6 + Spiritual practice: Not stellar but solid. Good 30 minute meditaiton in the morning. Listened to some spiritual podcasts which are really beneficial - Attitude of service: Stuck in inner turmoil today. Not focused on others, not good outward energy. Just kinda in a funk which is uncharacteristic. tomorrow I want to bounce back and get the good outward energy back. Feel like I'm contributing again from a powerful source, not stuck in inner limitation and low vibes + Life habits: Good. I woke up on an alarm at 5:30. got a lot of studying done for my computer session. Went hiking. Went on a nice bike ride. Ate healthy, took a cold shower. All kinds of great things. I was in a funk today but I really kept my habits strong. - Mental and emotional states: Not where I usually am at. In a funk. Didn't feel confident. Didn't fee positive and optimistic. Didn't fall into a total tailspin, but I also didn't operate at my normal level of mental and emotional strength. The culprit behind this is really less discipline in my sex ideal. I released 3 days in a row so I had lower energy than normal. I'm used to maintaining a high level of sexual energy. this does have an overall benefit. So I was a little less disciplined there. The other factor was getting back on online dating. It is a huge distraction. It really does take my attention away from good habits and enjoying what I'm doing. I'm not sure what to do here. It might have to go. I'd like to date a little and meet a girl, but my impression of online dating is bad. It's thrown me off some. It's probably the best way to meet someone now. So I said i'd give it a month and see what happens. But I'm still not too sure of it. I'd rather meet someone in person but with Covid it just seems impossible. Anyway, point is tomorrow I want to get back on top of the strong mental and emotional states I'm building. Note: i need to work on being more social and extroverted. When this covid stuff started I'd go out of my way to talk to people to not feel isolated. I want to start being extra friendly again and look for opportunites to talk with people. Overall: In a funk today but will force me to continue to grow. i know I'm going to bounce back strong tomorrow.

Morning journal session It's Sunday and I don't have a huge hike planned so I'm not out the door super early. I think I'll do a shorter hike later nearby instead of driving deep into the mountains. Regardless, it's a good time to reflect. I have some outstanding stuff I would like to get done this month to improve my life. Get a tattoo, maybe buy some new shirts, get a new pair of glasses. Some style upgrades that will improve my life. It's been awhile since I've done something like this. I've been saving good and this won't totally throw me off. So that's somehting to look forward to. I'd like to do a big hike today because it's nice to really get up into the mountains. Especially on a Sunday. I usually don't have too bad anxiety, but Sunday's I feel it a little. Which is odd because Monday is one of my strongest days typically. So it's kinda unjustified. So I'd like to avoid the anxiety today. I'm doing a smaller hike becasue I have other important stuff to do. I have to finish a few hours of my computer course to stay on track. I actually enjoy this and it's kinda fun to learn this. It's satisfying to make progress and work with the computer language. Kinda wish i had more time to do this. Also today I have to make a move with some of my savings. I've been waiting on this until I began working again and saving again. I'm on the path now. So now's the time. Gonna see if I can set up a Vanguard index fund today. So those are the big things today. I also want to bounce back today and get some good momentum going into the week. Yesterday ended in a kind of lower state than normal. Surprising becasue I had a really strong morning. In the morning I met with a friend. We had a really good meditation and prayer session. Hung out. I just felt really connected. Then in the late afternoon the disconnection began. The culprit is definitely online dating. I added an app recently and it definitely is a distraction. But I also want to meet someone and during the covid times it's pretty difficult to talk to people in person because everyone has masks on and everyone seems so distant in person. Anyway, so online dating is a distraction becasue it just drags me into my phone. I know I have to put a lot of likes and messages out there to get matches so there's the time with that. Then I have to try to engage when I get a message becasue I know how many messages girls get so I want to interact if I can. I honestly prefer the in person interaction way more and just talking to girls. So i definitely need to put some limits on the online stuff. Especially during the week. I can't be getting distracted like this. And I can't have it drag my connection down. I still want to try it for a month. That was basically what I thought when I downloaded it. I'll try it for a month. If I find someone great. If not, I'll be sick of it I'm sure. I've been feeling more desire for sexual expression. Obviously that's part of why I'm doing this online dating thing. I haven't been retaining on my normal schedule. For a long time I was releasing just once a week. A lot of discipline and some good benefit. I've released the past 3 days which hasn't happened in months. I think that is also part of my low energy state. I do want more enjoyment here. I obviously want to meet a girl. In the meantime I should get back on a retention schedule of more discipline. I get a lot of benefit out of retention and all it takes is some good discipline. I've settled in nicely to my new city and new job. This is really due to my spiritual practice. It keeps me confident and strong so I don't feel worried or insecure at work. Investing in my spiritual practice also keeps me away from regret, self pity, fear, etc. So I have to keep that up more. Lately I've really had some good clarity and connection with God. I've really just decided to give my life to God and am reaffirming this in moments of connection. So what does giving my life to God mean? On some level it means following the God connection, those are like the clues. What makes me feel connected? What actions do I need to take? What sort of attitude and orientation do I need? It's weird but that seems to be a good indicator... just. follow the God connection. Also, it means continuing my spiritual practice of course. A strong spiritual practice really opens up to stay connected. It means having an orientation toward service and being helpful. And lastly it does mean letting go of outcomes. I'm really here to serve God. Let God show what is possible and walk the path that God indicates. Oddly enough I can still set goals, and develop those so that they are God inspired. But ultimately it's thy will not mine be done. So it's an openess to follwo the direction that he indicates. So with the God stuff that is going really well lately. I'm feeling mostly connected which is great.

Sept 5 + Spiritual practice: good session today. Did a meditation with a friend and also a prayer session. Was pretty powerful. I really stayed focused and oriented toward spirit. + Attitude of service: Good here. Tried to be as helpful as possible to my sponsee. Just really would like to see him do well and for me to be a part of that. / Life habits: good ones stayed good. Was distracted on my phone too much. Fell into that and then checking dumb websites. / Mental and emotional states: A tale of two days. Really strong morning. Good orientation toward the world. Really good connection with God. Then I got on my phone to do online dating. A total distraction. Really threw my day off. It's like it really disconnected me and sucked the life out of me. I lost my connectiona nd then became scatter brained. Lost focus, lost good orientation toward life. It was really evident. Makes me think it's not worth it. Problem is to get a date you have to be on there a bunch to find a girl that wants to meet up. That would definitely be a good thing. But problem is how this affects my overall connection. Clearly detrimental. So need to reasses. If it has to go it will go. Overall: Good morning and early afternoon, tougher evening. Went from connected to disconnected. Important to note this. Tommorow got a big day. A lot I want to get done on my day off.

Sept 4 + Spiritual practice: good morning practice as always. Second quick meditation on lunch + Attitude of service: good here. Good outward energy. Looking to be helpful at work. Keeping this up. + Life habits. Good as always. + Mental and emotional states: good today. Solid ending to a great week. Stayed positive. Handled stress and adversity well. + Attitude toward others. good also here. Definitely not as critical as before so moving in the right direction. Want to start to see more potential in others. Overall: Probably my best work week so far from a mental and emotional perspective. I kept it together. Just tried to contribute. Felt connected with God. Good ending to the week today. Feel a little spaced out because I was just messaging on online dating. It kinda threw off my focus and presence. But that's part of it. Just gotta put in sometime so I can line up a date. But honestly I don't really like online. I do way better in person. It's so much more real and authentic. Just now during the dumb covid not a lot of opportunities Anyway so that's it for today. just keep this train moving.

Sep 3 + Spiritual practice: Really solid today. Focused more on my concentration meditation than normal. Setting aside this time is so valuable. Didn't chant because i went in to work and wanted to be early. Will chant tomorrow. + Attitude of service: Also good. Good outward energy. Not stuck in inner turmoil. Looking to be helpful at work. Good attitude overall at work. + Life habits: Solid. Good discipline. Living a healthy active life. + Mental and emotional states: Great day today here. Never thrown off. I've been handling adversity well so when I have a day without any adversity I feel really confident. I've changed so much here and I want to keep working on this. I'm so much more condfident and optimistic about life. I feel positive about myself and the world in general. Day in and day out I'm performing at working and seeing that I'm capable. To do this I'm bringing the best attitude possible. I'm getting rid of negative emotions like resentment, jealousy, anger, doubt, fear, self pity, regret, etc. I have got to keep this up. I know it can get even better. + Attitude toward others: Not critical today. Recognizing that I should see the potential in others. Just see that they are spirit beings, see all the good in others. Difficult to do, definitely not there yet, but I am making progress. Overall: Really solid day. Got some stuff done at work and out of the way. Things aren't perfect but they're going well. We'll get where we need to be. We're hitting milestones on this project so I feel some relief. Still a lot of hard work to do, but we're making progress. I'm handling all of the stress well because of my spiritual practice and good habits. Gotta trust God and keep this up.

Sep 2 + Spiritual practice: chanting has become part of my morning practice. I really need to do this almost daily to really get it down. I also need to keep pushing forward and learning new parts of it. I'm relatively close to the end of this chant, but I've stalled out and haven't learned any new lines. It will be good when I really get it down. + Attitude of service: Helped a stranger today. Was biking and saw he needed help moving these steel grates used in landscaping. Helped him move them. It was like I recognized an opportunity and was just into service. Such a good reaction. Shows I'm on the right path. Also in general today good attitude and looking to be helpful. + Life habits: Strong as usual. I've become a new person. I really like this and want to keep it this way. No going back. I know what it feels like to recede back into poor habits. Don't want that to happen again. I feel strong and motivated so no compromises. / Seeing potential in others. Overall actually good, one exception where I was overly critical of someone mentally. But I'm catching myself so I'm building awareness. Overall: Nothing really negative to report. This is great news of course. Wasn't horribly thrown off today in any way. Faced a little frustration but still had a solid day. I've had a lot of good days and it's a product of really trying to connect with God. I feel oriented properly, I feel capable, I feel a deeper trust. I'm in a such better place than I've been in for awhile. So the idea is to of course not back off of what works. I have to keep God a priority in life.

Sep 1 + Spiritual practice: Really good today. My morning session is great. Listening to a spiritual podcast everyday also really energizes me and puts my thoughts in the right direction. I'm more conscious throughout the day of just giving my life to God. Overall a consistent spiritual practice is the foundation of my life. A commitment to that allows for a solid relationship with God. My life definitely has transformed over the past 4+ months. + Attitude of service: Good today. Not stuck in self. Looking to be helpful at work. Trying my best to improve everyday and contribute. So good here. + Life habits: Strong. I'm really disciplined here. I'm actually getting a lot of enjoyment out of good habits. It's a healthy pleasure unlike the sort of lazy pleasure I get out of bad habits. Definitely have lost a little weight from eating so clean. I've always been pretty thin so I'm not sure about this. I do know that my energy is good, I'm never really hungry, and I still feel pretty strong. So my diet is doing everything it should do. /Seeing potential in others: Not a lot of opportunity to practice this. Didn't really see anyone all day since I was working from home. Went on a bike ride but was kinda in a zone + Mental and emotional states. A win here today. I was really frustrated with work. I really felt a change inside and was upset. I did some WHM breathing on lunch, then I turned to God and asked for direction and strength. Just went into the afternoon with a good attitude and finished strong. So far I've been holding up to the adversity and stress. It's always going to be there, but I'm doing good by relying on God and good habits. Nothing is really throwing me off and making me go into a tailspin. Also I feel like my attitudes toward coworkers is going strong. I'm trying to do a little better everyday and look where i can be helpful. Just have the best orientation possible toward others. Overall: Solid day. Definitely moved forward. Everyday is a day of progress.