innerchild

So, is that definitely impossible to practice enlightenment/spirituality while pampering the ego?. What's wrong with an ego?. Of course, Ego craves for more and hardly gets satisfied. So, what?. If 'I' as a God-given major role for an ego to play. then, why not go through it. Isn't that act of detaching from Ego itself stems from Ego?

I have the same conditioning, I had been suffering through severe itches, irritation, and even pain sometimes. I had tried certain anti-Histamine drugs. It will work and gives you significant relief in some cases. But, it's not permanent, such medicines only last for a couple of days. As you have mentioned I'm open to testing alternative medicines and techniques as well. For me, certain things are really helpful. i. I don't impulsively scratch my skin, yes it's quite difficult, an inconvenience but you should be doing this at least not to make it worse. In my case, it's purely psychological and psychosomatic. So whenever I feel depressed, stressful my condition gets worse. Overthinking and working too hard is the vital source of emanating stress beneath the skin. I started keeping a journal, I don't just write to-do list stuff, I tend to Jott down every single memory, experiences, and emotional breakdown into that journal. As of Leo prescribed, I used to delve deep into the quest and unsolved riddles within myself. So, take a pen (I use digital format) and bring some basic questions relevant to field of the topic you have chosen. Then contemplate and come up with a dozen questions and answer them all. Not in a day, but invest 20-30 mins everyday for such contemplation work. It can significantly fade off any form of traumatic conditioning you might have.

Consciously, I don't have any interest in baby fetishes or pretending to be a baby. In fact, I tend to be hating such fetishes. Yet, since from my childhood I intentionally act or imitate certain physical gestures as infants do. Also, it seems rewarding when I do with my mom. But, now I'm nearly 27, whenever I happened to spend alone time with my mom. I still tend to act in a certain way. Not just instinctive but really getting indulged in such a scenario. it wasn't significantly harmful in itself. but, it tends to recall the nasty behavior I had or did, and most insane and self-destructive decisions I had ever made in my childhood/teen times. Also, some of the awful memories I have with my mother is coming to the surface level. So, what should I do?. Also, how could I stop myself from behaving such way?. Should I minimize amount of times I visit her in-person or should I force myself to control such behavior?

Of course, I was not aware of particular jargon such as 'solipsism', 'matrix', 'quantum position' nor taught by some wise-ass about such philosophy or concept. Like most of you all (assuming), I was a loner, had no friends (literally 0 friends) when I was growing up. Due to my physical pathologies, I had very low self-esteem, a lack of denial, and a victim mindset that I nurtured with. I have not tried to make friends or subscribe to any sort of hobby in my life.. So, I was initially programmed and tend to be a shy, awkward and introverted person, also believed that being an Autistic Asshole is a highest attribute of wisdom one can ever get (very Autistic & Literal!). Of course trust me, at a time of having such an experience I never ever watched movies regarding any multiverse, time travel, or any other shit. Especially not even aware of the Matrix. The only movie I familiar with at that time was Spiderman (original 2002). So let's come to the point. Although I had a very healthy relationship and loyalty with my family members. I used to think of them as they're trying to deceive or manipulate me some way. They're faking this damn world (obvious and given) to make me fall for it. Conceiving Experience or Scenario of my neighbors As I said to you before, I had no friends or in-person contact with anyone besides my shitty family members. In fact, no one else from my family members even come to visit or greet others (entire family as a whole). Is that creepy right?, As it is!.. I don't know what my neighbors were doing at the time I experienced this stuff, I don't know how they look, what they prefer, and know shit about them. Yet I feel or conceive what they will be doing. For example: At one random event I was looking for some random shit around my closet, at that point I was very curious and playful about that thing, Almost, not even bother of my existence, I was that curious!. Although I had unknown inception of some odd visual of what my neighbors are doing now, I exactly remember to this date. I've got an image of some old-looking person, trying to reach the upper rack of a shelf in order to get some cookie jar or something.. I felt like, I was that old man, and I was currently in need of that particular article. So, please tell me, is this an insight of solipsism?. How one child could get there even if he's not acquainted with such a concept before? Also, please share any of the crazy experiences you had as a child.

I partially agree with you, but how come does it emanating both nothing and everything?. Can we exist in both phases at the same time, without physically losing one's body and without entering momentary God-consciousness (through psychedelics)? is that mean Consciousness is operating from superposition kinda mechanism?.

have you ever familiar of how does certain Yogis or enlightened sages tend to incorporate any form of pain or discomfort in order to increase the difficulty level of meditation?. I even heard some people used to meditate while they get themselves suspended upside down. also like, meditating in some extreme temperature of heat. So, can we add any such form of pain to increase intensity (as stoic does!), not trying such thing yet but just curious!.

Okay, let me tell you a brief history/relation with Paranormal. I wasn't a psyche in my childhood/teenage days. In fact, I was totally clung over rationalization/logical thinking. The worst part was my parents were encouraged me to be such a way I am (instead of insisting to change how I behave). Of course, rational thinking might be helpful to attain a higher domain of academics. But, it is not gonna change the game of Autism, Overthinking, Lack of Empathy, Introversion, Ego Boasting (Yes, I used to brag about all the nonsense I could do with my reptilian mind!). Hence I got to believe logical (linear analysis) as an only superior power that mind ever does I got bullied in school, my self-esteem was totally shattered, I have successfully made literally 0 friends until I found Leo Gura (not an honor, just fact!). Even now, I'm struggling harder to increase my level of empathy in my social skills. I totally neglected or hardly believed in 'crazy' stuff like paranormal, law of attraction, even I was skeptical about Psychoanalysis (though it is heavily recognized by academia). From 2019, I happened to change myself gradually, I've started opting into several courses on LOA and psychotherapy, I've read 2-3 books on brain-damaged cases (as Leo said, I'm not sure those books are in his booklist). Now I apparently believe some people actually can manifest or alter certain parts of this stream of consciousness according to one's desires. Hence our own mind got some advantages as the infinite mind does (not solipcism). Recently (8 months), certain things of my imagination or thoughts are getting rendered into real-world (Of course, I didn't make any money through this). But, some radical things are going on in my life, nowadays I tend to iterate such things in a very frequent manner. I don't know whether it could be considered as a sign of paranormal or not. So, let me know whether it is or not. Recurring Pattern among all - I can often manifest things, events after 1-2 days of thinking of them.. i. I tend to sight certain words while reading, words such as Epitome, Cohesive, Dormant, Derogatory, Yearn. I happened to see them again within 3-6 hours (max 48 hours). Of course, these are getting repeated in totally irrelevant sources. Some words I can sight while reading spiritual materials for the first time then I can sight somewhere like reading about automobiles, old-school technology. ii. Some philosophies or ideas getting repeated for multiple iterations. iii. I'm experiencing over 6-10 encounters of Thegavu moments every single day (I had some in my childhood, but it's getting more vivid where the point I can convince it had already happened someday). iii. The same posts regarding some articles (memes, wow factors) are getting repeated very frequently. Such as articles on some crazy vegan ideas, bizarre decisions ever made by celebrities, rag to riches stories. You might say these are could be side effects of personalized ads or search algorithms, don't fool yourself. But, I've literally tried switching my IP address every single day. my cookies, browser cache will be automatically deleted every hour, also installed multiple ad blockers and literally stopped every ad popups of Youtube, Duck search results, popup/floating ads, and so on. Also, I've completely eliminated most dominated segments of Youtube (Youtube recommendation, Suggestion, Videos through Subscription listing) - You should implement this stuff if you're struggling with distraction issues like me.. So, definitely it couldn't be the aftermath of some data mining shit. So, should I conceive it as a realm of possibilities and pursue Psychic abilities or should I don't bother this stuff too much?. Let me know your opinion. Also, let me know your psychic manifestations or symptoms if you have any..

Is it necessary to get committed with multiple friends and relationships if one has to score higher in those particular fields?. Why not post source file of it? can we post our own scores on this thread?

Yes I know, Ego is counterintuitive, it always chases for advancements/success one after another. Ego was inherently selfish, aggressive and it's behavior do gets backfired often times. Like I was a productivity addict, I used to work all day long, even at night many cases. I tend to work without rest, sleep or barely had any fun. still, the results/quality of my work were really poor, even if I happened to have one or two successes, It won't get satisfied. It'll crave for more. But, this counterintuitiveness, egocentrism, lack of altruism could be easily fixed in the course of a year or two. But, why many mystics and philosophers tend to hate Ego so much?. even act of pursuing enlightenment/ego death stems from Ego's mind!.. so let me have a clear reason behind such opinion. Also, let me know how bad you got affected by your ego in your early days! (before practicing spirituality).

I tend to meditate on a regular basis. I've incorporated shamanic breathing, mindfulness alongside meditation. It's certainly helpful to minimize stress levels and even increases focus and energy level to certain extent. Yet, they're not potent enough to promote any spiritual and/or paranormal experiences. That's why I've been practicing clairvoyance, telepathy and other psychic related techniques in order to raise my emotional and sensual levels. I've started shamanic breathing and shadow-work journaling on March 12, 20, and successfully doing as an everyday routine. traumatic and childhood episodes are becoming so intrusive these days. Not sabotaging 'YET'. Yet I would like to know reasons or someone else's experience doing shadow work/shamanic stuff.. Things I Encounter Very Frequently.. i. reminisce random occasions held in childhood days. ii. Vivid encounters of embarrassing/shameful events held in my past. Such as. classmates made fun of my ignorances, nagged for boasting my ego. iii. Hearing random songs, music that I happened to listen in my childhood iv. Persistent anger and jealously. v. Feeling regretful for my past mistakes (settling for low) So, is that really mean I'm recovering from traumatic conditioning?. Is there any chance of relapse of such traumatic episodes after purging off it completely? Also, please share any of your shadow work experiences and aftereffects of it. Also, let me know any other techniques in order to increase efficiencies or speed up the process. Thanks in advance..

Previously I had encountered various insights regarding deception of reality, how false is the physical reality that we perceive and so on. I didn't believe this physical projection as mere illusion/hallucination until I had multiple LOA experiences. Now I know that I can alter certain details of this flow of consciousness by mere force of LOA. Yesterday I've been going through Leo's episode on 'Why People Seem Crazy', where he talks about huge differences among people, big five personality types. Where he gives multiple examples of how brain perceives reality in brain-damaged/traumatic people. So, now I consider even people with cruel/sadistic intentions do have purpose to serve in this stream of consciousness. So, the Consciousness is intended to experience various aspects, cuasations. That's why it has rendered into multiple instances of people, lifeform. All is one!.. God is interested in seeing how these instances react, conflict and blend with each other!.. That is Self Love!..

Logically I know possessing a college degree isn't mandatory to get one in order to bootstrap one's a career/occupation for living. I'm running a self-help blog which is generating adequate wealth through sponsorship programs and course materials. I'm no longer dependent on employment or a traditional 9 to 5 job. Yet, I still consider myself inferior or less in certain ways relative to the conventional people who designated their career based on the college degree. I often feel guilty for not obtaining a college degree. Whenever I see someone with fancy degrees and multiple majors listed on their profiles I'm feeling depressed. Is college degree meant to offer more than money?. how good or different my life could be if I had one. am I missing any significant parts of social life? Of course, I could resume my alma matter if I want so, yet I don't find any concrete reason to have one. At the same time, I can't help with feeling alone from the mainstream herd of people. I would like to publish research papers and do surveys on personality types and certain aspects of behavior/impulses. Could I do such a thing without getting a major in psychology? (I had discontinued my studies since high school! :P) How could I overcome FMO of not having glittering college life like group studies, sleepovers or some other crap! (I don't have an interest for such things yet I miss them).

Yes, I totally agree with you, there's no point in doing things that we don't really into, That's why I have taken content creation as a fulltime profession. Of course, I have faith and appreciation for skillsets. It can help you during worst-case scenarios. But sometimes it feels lonely and secluded to do things that aren't common in mainstream society. And could you give me suggestion on how to meet people or befriend random people you met?. How do you feel when you're hanging out with random acquaintances?.

I've been taking notes on the Spiral Dynamics series of Leo and referring multiple resources and materials as well. I'm really interested to delve deep into spiral dynamics in order to get a vivid idea about myself. I had literally abnormal or unconventional way of growing up, due to my physical condition and difficulty in a speech I hadnt had a thought of interacting with others, even my only interaction or communication during my teenage years is talking with customer support dude to make complaints about faulty internet or something. I had no idea about personal development, I didn't even think of possibilities for personal development, barely had any exercises. I was a totally spoiled, ignorant and drenched fully into denial and victimization. Only back into 2016 (age of 22) I've started realizing my mistakes and actuality of the way I've chosen to exist. Since then I started reading many books, gave up my eating and porn addiction. I had taken exercises and learning as a serious business. So, now I'm almost discarded old way of living, limiting and self-destructive beliefs once I had. Of course there's lot room for personal and spiritual development. So, here's my question. through the course of understanding dynamics of how society, culture and humanity work. I start to notice radical changes and transformation in my psyche and my limiting beliefs about success, happiness has skyrocketed to a whole new level. Although I used to emanate significant qualities of stage blue. Yet I didn't experience stage green in my life yet. So, is it possible for oneself to skip or bypass stages of Spiral Dynamics (in a non-linear fashion)?

I know whether for growing spiritually, obtaining physical possessions or any kind of personal development. Birthname is totally not mattered. Yet I'm not comfortable with the birthname assigned to me. I'm not a religious or cling over specific cultural or social biases. But I would like to change my name before bootstrapping my fresh career as an online content creator.. So, tell me what kind of stuff or practice should I follow/consider before making a birth name (not speaking of legal norms). Is it necessary to look at a glance of astrology and numerology before the name change or can go with any random name through online baby boy names?.. Also, let me know about the experience if you had a name change or someone else you know..