soos_mite_ah

I'm just going off of how I shifted from green to more yellow I would try to convey how if you want to make lasting change that helps women, minorities, and people disadvantaged by society, you need to tackle things on a systemic level to prevent false hierarchies from happening in the first place (this appeals for their value for flattening the hierarchies). Green in general advocates for the marginalized and opens their heart to them and I guess you could frame systems thinking as opening your heart to more than each group of people and rather to everyone as a whole. As far as shifting from more collective to individualistic again, I think that will happen more as a side effect of the above. From what i understand about yellow, its not that they don't value groups and interactions but it just comes in second to analyzing systems.

Just in general I don't see how wanting to wait til marriage is regressing to traditional norms as long as waiting is genuinely what you want and isn't rooted with what other people or society thinks of you which includes notions of purity etc. It's also problematic to expect a person to not wait simply because of societal norms when they have made it clear that they do want to wait. What I'm trying to say is that waiting isn't regressive. Doing things because of other people 's expectations or society (regardless of if that means having sex or not) is what is actually regressive. In other words. Do you.

@Roy Also to add on to that. Sex is not an act of charity, it's a personal choice. If anyone is put off by you wanting to wait, that's okay, they are allowed to have their own needs but they need to find someone else and you need to honor your needs as well. That would weed those people out and eventually you'll find someone else who is also willing to wait and as a result, no one will feel deprived (that is if both parties are being honest with themselves) which leads to a more healthy relationship. Sex is not a given in every relationship and it isn't anything that anyone is entitled towards regardless of gender since it is a personal choice.

After I started taking self development work more seriously, I found myself getting more and more invested in my own studies, not in a *I need to produce as much as I can* way but more of a *I want to analyze the world and marvel at how interconnected it is* kind of way. I have heard that moving from orange to green, people often see a drop in initial productivity because they move from focusing on achievement to focusing on relationships. I was wondering if when you move from green to yellow, if it is possible to be less interested in building relationships and instead shift your focus towards analyzing models, not for the sake of achievement but for the sake of understanding. I definitely still care about connecting to people but I have noticed that in the last year or so that I'm much more driven by models and understanding the world as opposed to socializing. I have become a bit more like a hermit, yet I don't feel disconnected or lonely. Is this just me or is this part of moving from green to yellow?

Desired Career Paths I realized that my interests have remained the same. For years these are the things that I have been into: analyzing and evaluating different cultures how businesses work art and creativity (which goes back to different cultures and also has to do with strategy imo) thinking strategically self development But the means in which I wanted to express those interests have changed greatly throughout the years (and so has the way I tune into these interests but that's another topic). Also I realized that they correspond with where I was at in the spiral at the time. I don't have anything for purple, red, or blue because I was a child when I was predominantly at those stages and I wasn't seriously thinking about a career path nor were my interests clearly defined at that age. I wish I had stories about what I wanted to be when I grew up when I was little but from what I remember, I would hear that question and be like "i don't know I'm 5." That sense of not knowing and confusion would creep into existential dread as I became a teenager lol. From the ages of 14-18 when I still had quite a bit of orange in me, I was drawn to the idea of becoming a strategic manager or working on Wall Street From 17-19 I became more critical of that vision particularly on how that would emotionally fulfill me as i moved into green. I saw working on wall street as something I wouldn't mind doing temporarily given that it would fund my desire to travel and create art. Then it turned into me demonizing wall street as I moved deeper into green. Now currently as I shift more towards yellow, I see this want to become a professor and do more research on social sciences as opposed to travelling around (though I am still open to that experience). Wall Street doesn't interest me much anymore, though I am still open to it as I see it as a challenge to do something more consciously and change things up. I wonder if when I get to turquoise if I would want to just abandon everything and just become a monk hahaha. But I'm not there yet so I don't know. I wonder how my interest would manifest at this stage. I'm currently dead set on completing my degree. I'm majoring in Finance and International Relations with a minor in Human Rights. I did a great job in deciding what I wanted to study and it suits me sooooooo well but I have no idea what I want to do with my degree yet. I want to make sure that the next step I take with my career has to do with what is true to me in the long run rather than what is true to me in the moment depending on my stage of development. I did a good job at that when it came to my field of study. I'm not sure where to go from here when it comes to my line of work. I'm open to a number of possibilities for my future career. One of the best pieces of advice I got from a professor is that it's good to have an idea of what you want in a career in terms of what you value it's not the best idea to be dead set in one specific path. Because when you're set on one path and one path only, you might miss out on alternatives that could have fit you much better.

@DefinitelyNotARobot In addition to women who want to wait but then give in because they don't want to uphold their boundaries, I would also add another group of women who feel the need to put up this front to wait longer because society as a whole does not respect women who want to sleep around. Either way, its about people not being true to themselves and has less to do with where those boundaries are at and more to do with executing those boundaries. Some women want to wait and some want to sleep around. Either way its fine and self respect has to do with honoring what is authentic to you. I can see how waiting can garner more respect especially considering that its difficult to keep up and stay dedicated to. But at the same time staying dedicated to something is the quality that is more respected rather than the decision itself if that makes any sense. I think this is a pretty healthy attitude to have but I would just be wary of judging women especially in this regard because of the context in which women's sexualities tend to be scrutinized by society as a whole. I'm not saying that's what is happening, I'm saying to take that part into consideration as well.

@DefinitelyNotARobot I feel like what you're describing has more to do with someone sticking to their boundaries, knowing what they want, and being rock solid/ self assured rather than waiting for sex (even though that is one of the places where you can observe someone sticking to boundaries or lack thereof) To me those girls don't sound fake, but rather unsure of what they want and willing to waver. And when you don't stick to something and take it seriously, other people around you won't take things as seriously. "Cheapness" in a way has more to do with your lack of ability to stick to your boundaries and enforce them rather than where those boundaries lie in the first place. But don't get me wrong, I don't think there is anything wrong with changing your mind about something. However, changing your mind on something should be done if you genuinely want to change for yourself rather than changing for the sake of other people.

This is Random But.... I have noticed that skincare as a whole makes me happy. I really feel like I'm taking care of myself and like I'm winding down whenever I do my skincare routine in the morning or in the night. It feels weirdly zen and incredibly relaxing. I have caught myself looking up skin care products randomly. I'm not even concerned with any "problem areas" per se. When I look up products, I'm not even looking at what the product can do for me. I'm just looking at how satisfying it looks lol. Trying out different skincare products seems like a lot of fun not because of what the product can do why how it feels physically and emotionally. I know a lot of it is probably me getting heavily influenced by marketing and how it ties things like skincare in with self care and femininity. My monkey mind can't resist lol. I feel like if I made a decent amount of money to where I am completely financially free/ stable to where money isn't a concern, skin care is one of the things I would splurge on. It wouldn't be houses, it wouldn't be cars, it wouldn't be fancy food, shoes, clothes etc. It would be a face mist I could spray and feel like a fairy while doing it. I also made kind of like this vision board because I know that I'm not currently in the place to own all of these things and because I'm trying to save my money. I think this is a better way of embracing this itch rather than going out and spending a shit ton of money. Also, now that I write this out, the link between skincare and femininity does make sense to me and where I'm at with my journey of self-improvement. Lately I have been trying to embrace my femininity more and let myself be vulnerable so that I can invite more gentleness into my life. In a way, skincare feels like a way that I could treat myself more gently and honor my sense of vulnerability. .........well that took a weird turn..

I'm also thinking about waiting for sex. Not til marriage, but until I find someone I really like and get into a long term relationship with them for a number of months. My reasons are the following. My period is super irregular. I know that things like condoms and birth control, though highly effective, are not 100% guaranteed to protect against pregnancy. If anything goes wrong, I won't be able to tell until its like 2 months later. Or my period might come late and I'll have a false alarm. Either way, an orgasm isn't worth the anxiety especially if it's with someone who I don't care for like that. I know that I'm the type of person that sees sex as an emotional experience that can be used to deeply connect to people. I wouldn't go as far to say that it is sacred and I fully understand and support people who don't see sex as a big deal. But I do recognize that I am not one of those people and I'm willing to do what is right for me and what is true to my needs. Also I feel like, at least for me personally, that it would be difficult to have really good sex unless you know someone really well. I feel that in order to be vulnerable, there needs to be a large degree of trust and emotional intimacy that needs to be established, even outside of the bedroom. Especially outside of the bedroom. As far as sexual compatibility before marriage, I personally don't see it as a deal breaker but I can understand how for some people, physical intimacy plays a role in feeling connected to your partner. Honestly, I might be a little weird when it comes to this but if I had a partner who wasn't getting his needs sexually met, I wouldn't mind if he got those needs met outside of the relationship (after letting me know) granted those relations are mainly physical and not emotional and both parties are being safe. I don't think it's cheating as long as there is consent involved. I consider myself pretty open when it comes to sex. I don't mind talking about it and I want to try a variety of things but I want to make sure it's with the right person. I don't think sex is a big deal, not in a sense where its like *sex isn't a big deal just go sleeping around stop making it something that is sacred* but in a sense where regardless of your preference do you, and do what feels right for you granted you aren't hurting anyone.

I also wonder where I can find more stage yellow people irl. I love having this forum as an outlet, but deep down inside I'm more of an offline person when it comes to cultivating relationships. So far my go to for finding people to talk to is popping up in my professors office hours to nerd out about whatever is being discussed in class and getting additional materials for my own research just because I'm interested. I find that a lot of my professors, specifically the ones who are more focused towards social sciences like anthropology, sociology, political science, etc. tend to be more yellow leaning and are aware of how events and solutions play out on a systemic level.

I'm in a similar place as well. I can still enjoy regular people things such as hanging out with people, being funny, looking cute etc. but it just doesn't resonate like it used to. I still have interest and am involved in my reality but I feel like I look through it in a different lens. People already look at me like weird af when I discuss the need for more socialism in the government in my solidly orange environment. I'm pretty sure I'd look absolutely insane if I share my spiritual views or start talking about spiral dynamics Yeah at this point I think it's healthier for people to be on their own path instead of just giving them all the answers. For me personally, it has been better for my personal mental health as well as my relationships with others since giving advice and telling people what to do doesn't always equal to empathizing and connecting with others. Plus it's like half of the time the advice goes over people's heads and sometimes they end up overwhelmed with and existential crisis because I said too much too soon for their place in their journey. But yeah, I'm glad that this forum exists so we can find like minded people who is going to be more receptive of our train of thoughts and way of looking at the world.

That reminds me of this one experience I had in the business school that I'm attending in college (which is pretty heavily orange). Basically I kept trying to make friends and tap into people's interests so that I could have deeper conversations and analyze the world. That didn't work but I didn't take things too personally. I just figured that I would eventually find people. Then our professor had us take this personality quiz (it was the OCEAN test that scored you on openness, contentiousness, extroversion, agreeableness and neuroticism). She read out the class averages and I remember the class average for openness was a 15 (not very open) while my score was a 95. Openness mainly had to do with how open you are to analyzing the world, to new experiences, art, philosophy, science etc. And at that moment it made sense why i didn't connect to people in my class as well. I was trying to appeal to openness when most people didn't operate from it. I'm sure there are some really open orange people out there but I think in general openness expands as you go up the spiral. A lot of my green friends that took the class previously scored higher. I think there is also a thing where progressives/liberals tend to score higher than conservatives do as well.

@tuckerwphotography I also had that moment where I didn't feel like myself. I was so confused. It was like a lot of my green interests, mainly when it came to things like politics and social justice, faded away. I still have some type of interest to where I am informed and I read up on things, but I'm not passionately advocating for my views like I user to. I felt confused with this shift (I would say it started happening from like March 2019). Like I was losing interest of the things that I used to be passionate about, but it didnt come with depression. I just kind of brushed it off and went with it but the whole thing feels even more real, especially during COVID. Part of me is kind of glad that I can retreat and delve into my interests more without being judged for being an awkward hermit lmao

"Everything that can be invented has been invented." Charles H. Duell (Commisioner of U.S. Office of Patents) 1899

Yeah I'm not too sure what to put on a dream board to deal with this. Maybe it's to lift your overall mood and get out of the habit of thinking/feeling a certain way?

@Leo Gura Ok thank you. Because lately I've been feeling like I'm going full nerd mode in the best way possible where I want to analyze everything. I currently derive a lot of my happiness and fulfillment through researching along with self-development work and just being alone with my thoughts in meditation. I'm pretty sure I look like a hermit and really weird to outsiders, mainly orange and some green people, but idc mainly because of how happy I currently am. I'm just doing what's right for me at this time according to what resonates.

Looking Back a Few Days Ago.... I still think of this experience I had of a few days ago. I still can't put it into words but it was unforgettable. It was so peaceful. I hope that I can experience something like this again. I got a glimpse of what I can be working towards. I have worked hard in regards to getting into a better state of mind and being. I look back at my journal in my computer even a couple years ago and I can put myself in the shoes of the person I was back then, how much anxiety, depression, and existential distress she was living in. I feel like I'm have achieved a much better quality of life through therapy and through self-actualization work. I still have a lot of things I still need to sort through especially when it comes to shadow work. But, to me, this sense of bliss that I had the privilege of experiencing, even for a little bit, shows me what is possible and what is my next step.

Bright Eyed Bushy Tailed Energy Something that I noticed that really makes me happy is just talking about the things that I am currently studying. I'm so thankful that this is the case because when I came into college, I was so worried about not liking my major and getting boxed into a career that doesn't make me happy. I'm definitely a nerd in class but I'm also like that outside of school in general. I have so many interests and I'm so glad that I can explore them in college. I'm also so thankful that I have spaces like this forum as well as space in real life like in my professors' office hours to delve into things that I'm passionate about. The only thing that kind of brings me down is that I don't have friends that I can nerd out with. Even when I talk to people in my classes, I see that people aren't always into stuff the way that I am. Granted I'm just this huge nerd and I know there is a time and place for that so that I don't annoy people but I wish I could just be in this bright eyed bushy tailed place externally all the time. Nevertheless, I am thankful that I have this bright eyed bushy tailed energy in my inner world. I know that not everyone has that and I have definitely been in a place where I wasn't like that all the time either. And just knowing that makes me thankful for the joy in my life.

@ColeMC01 I would also add azula as red especially when she said "trust is for fools, fear is the only reliable way" ALos I think she is a good example of how red is created as opposed to the notion that she was born a psychopath (especially when it comes to her mental breakdown)

A gentleman/ lady has boundaries and as a result self-esteem and therefore can stand up for themselves and the people around them (they build people up instead of tearing them down). In doing so they are self-respecting and a leader A people-pleaser will go beyond his/her boundaries even when he/she isn't comfortable to ensure that everyone approves of them since they doesn't have enough self-esteem to ensure themselves. These people are also insecure enough to tear others down or puff themselves up to show off their ego so that they can feel like they are worth something. A gentleman/lady knows their worth so as a result they don't have to go around and proving it to people. A people-pleaser does not have a backbone while a gentleman/ lady does.

As soon as I feel asleep, everything faded to black and I felt this sense of interconnectedness, love, peacefulness and consciousness enveloped over me. There was nothing separating me from everything, but at the same time there was nothing there. It's hard to describe really. I've had dreamless sleep before, most of the time I sleep, I don't dream. But this felt different because even though there was this sense of nothingness, there were these feeling that I can't put into words. Even now as I write this, I'm not even confused. I feel really calm, but also curious. I'm just wondering.... wtf did I just experience???

Yeah that's why life purpose is so tricky. Also life purpose might not always come with a set career you can follow. Sometimes, you need to create a career from scratch that aligns with your life purpose. That is much harder than falling into the pattern of *okay let me go to college, get a degree, get hired etc* Society does contribute to this being hard, but just being creative in general by itself can be difficult. Pretty much. It threatens their power and the status quo, why would they want to question/change a system that already benefits their ego and works for them?

@Osaid I wonder if it's possible to access that consciously. The experience I had was totally out of the blue, unplanned, and random. I wouldn't mind experiencing this every time I fell asleep lmaooo I also had that split second "how is this even possible" moment and then I was like *nah this nice*. I don't know how long it lasted, maybe a couple hours, but i can't tell because I can't experience time in the same way when I'm asleep.

There was a huge youth voter turnout in 2018. It increased a lot across most states. In states like Texas and Georgia, I remember reading that it tripled. Because of that the races were pretty close. I think that a lot of young people are getting more involved with politics mainly because politics has infiltrated popular media so much ranging from music to movies, and even memes.

I know that i didn't feel my body, smell, sight, or sensation. Not sure about my mind. There was just this weird feeling of absolute interconnectedness in the void.