soos_mite_ah

Food and Mental Health: My Experiences I have noticed that on the days I don't eat enough I am more prone to depression spirals as well as more easily annoyed. I've been looking more into it and I have also posted videos about the link between mental health and diet in an earlier post. So apparently, in a nut shell, this can happen when you don't get enough nutrients which then effects the functioning of the brain, since your brain uses a large chunk of whatever you eat as fuel. The first time I believe I heard about this was when I was about 13 years old. I remember in school, there was this one girl who had a lot of issues with her body and she would "diet" a lot (I'm putting diet in quotes because she would literally starve herself). She would also mention, either in a neutral tone or in a bragging kind of way, on how she didn't eat for a couple days, or how she skipped breakfast and dinner. I remember someone pointed out to her that she is much more upbeat, bubbly, and just generally emotionally alive on the days she does have something for breakfast, even if it's something small like a yogurt or some coffee. I wonder how she is doing with her life and if she got proper help. I hope she is ok now. The other times when I was exposed to how diet influences your mood was when my mom would try to dismiss my emotions. I remember all throughout my teen years, when I would try to vent about something that was making me sad or annoying me, instead of hearing me out and empathizing, my mom would just say "oh you're only feeling this way because of your diet. You eat too much junk and too much in general that's why you are reacting like this." While diet might be a factor in the intensity of my emotions, it's also important to acknowledge the context in which my mom is saying what she is saying. Emotional repression is a very common thing in my family. No one is allowed to actually express how they feel and if they do it is seen as a sign of weakness so if there is something wrong, lets just say you're more likely to get yelled at instead of given compassion. And to me, knowing this context, bringing up my diet after I talked about something that had nothing to do with it, felt like scapegoating my problems and taking an irrelevant turn. I think a small part of me gets on the defensive when people are like 'oh just exercise and eat well and your depression will go away" when in reality moods are much more complicated than that and trauma along with stress are huge factors that need to be considered. And because I focused so much on the trauma and stress to solve an issue so that I'm not upset, I didn't pay enough attention to the biological components that could be contributing to a problem even if it is a smaller way. I have seen a lot of people have a similar attitude. Saying a single food will cure your depression is a very broad stroke that doesn't do the food and mood connection any justice. That type of thinking is often what causes people with depression and anxiety feel like they aren't being heard because a lot of times people know vaguely what is causing them distress. Like for example, if someone lost a family member and is now depressed and grieving, it isn't the right time to go up to that person and say, "oh this is because you aren't eating right." While eating right can help that situation, you still need to address the grief first or else the whole thing will look very tone deaf. Finally, I was exposed to this connection between mental health and nutrition before me choosing to clean up my diet. I noticed that almost every time I had a panic attack, it was followed by barely sleeping, barely eating, and feeling pressurized at school. While I do feel pressure from school, I sure that not sleeping and not eating exacerbates the stress and puts me in a position where I'm biologically more likely to have a panic attack. I remember once I had a panic attack and I went to my therapist about it, she and I came up with a way to cope with these panic attacks and one of those ways was to eat something that has a lot of protein and fats after a panic attack so that my body can calm down and so I can think straight. I feel like that resonated with me more than what my mom used to tell me because in those sessions, she was still being empathetic to my situation and she treated diet as one piece of the larger puzzle rather than the end all be all. Now I'm starting to consider diet as a component to my mood because I have direct experience in that regard and because I have new, more in depth information on it. Also, I think that where I'm at my journey now with self actualization, I can receive this information about how diet effects mood in a more constructive way because I'm not getting defensive about the claim and I'm also not going over board to where I am using diet and exercise as a way to avoid my problems. I have been meaning to clean up my diet and eat right for years now. It's like the stereotypical new years resolution. But I think I failed before because it was coming from a place of self hatred, usually on the basis of not liking the way I looked. In those cases, I wasn't looking at a long term sustainable solution, I wanted a quick fix. A lot of fad diets really mess with your body and isn't loving towards it at all. Also it came from a place of self hatred in the sense of me seeing eating healthy as a chore that I need to exercise discipline to do rather than something I enjoy doing and something that makes me feel physically and mentally good. I think the reason why in these last couple months I have been able to go into really looking into my diet is not only because of the PCOS, but because I cleaned up the other areas in my life to the point where I have minimized any amount of resistance I had to this process. None of this, whether it is the food diaries, any of the entries I post on this journal, what I'm cooking and eating, none of it is forced. It feels like I'm in a state of flow because I'm learning a lot and I feel like I'm making a lot of progress but I'm not pushing myself to do any of it. It's coming naturally from a genuine place. Looking into my health and learning more about what I'm putting into my body feels like a natural step in my self actualization journey at the moment. Because I am tackling a lot of my limiting and beliefs and emotions towards dieting and body image, I feel like I cleared up a lot of resistance surrounding the subject. At this point I genuinely enjoying this whole process and this whole subject is really interesting to me. I don't have to push myself or discipline myself through resistance that isn't even there anymore.

Manifestations Some things I want to manifest through improving my diet and my relationship with food. I am nutritionally complete Everything is covered by my diet. I have enough calories in my diet. I can eat whatever I want and be comfortable in my weight and health. I feel free around food. I am confident in the way I look. I am free from cravings. My healthy eating habits are so normalized to me to where I can implement them effortlessly. I have a good sleep schedule. I have really strong hair and nails. I have a fast metabolism. I have clear skin. I am managing PCOS symptoms really well. I am free from my family health history. I have a really stable mood. My head and heart are more in tuned with each other since biologically I'm getting the proper nutrition to regulate my emotions. I am calm. I am happy. I am energetic. I can concentrate better than ever. I feel efficient in my life. I am healthy, mentally and physically. I have a good relationship with food. I enjoy food and occasions regarding food. My diet is sustainable and nutritious. I have a healthy relationship with food. I am an amazing and efficient cook. I am well hydrated.

Honestly idk. I know a lot of people who hype up a dad bod. But then again, I don't know if a lot of guys with dad bods have the confidence to become a stripper. I have no idea what to answer tbh. But on the other hand I'm pretty sure the ideal for a guy isn't a girl who has the body of a female stripper. There is a lot of variability when it comes to what people find attractive even if society has one standard mold and expects everyone to align their tastes with that.

That makes sense. I guess because I'm mainly surrounded by blue, orange, and green, that is my frame of reference in regards to what selfishness is. Yellow looks like a saint next to those stages. If you take a stage green person, travel back in time, and plop them into the medieval times, the green person would also look like a saint next to people who are mostly in purple, red, and blue...... ...but on the other hand, because yellow understands a variety of perspectives while still being ethical, a yellow person is more likely to use his or her intellect in order to find a solution and tact that will be good for most of the players in the situation. So their ability to distinguish between common good and selfish intent is better than say someone at stage blue. A person in stage blue might be able to see multiple perspectives but will most likely lack the ability to exercise empathy for those perspectives to reach a solution or strategy that works for everyone.

1/14/2021 Food Diary I woke up feeling exhausted for some reason today. I rolled around in bed for an hour and a half and I couldn't get myself up even though I had a proper amount of sleep last night. Then again, since I'm on break from school, my sleep schedule is likely off because of that. Brunch: A sandwich: I made a sandwich using two small slices of gluten free bread, an avocado, some balsamic vinegar, a couple slices of tomato, a couple slices of cucumber, and some pesto. I got up too late for breakfast so instead of my usual bread with avocado and an egg, I opted for a sandwich. 1 hard boiled egg: Thought I needed some protein in my breakfast. A handful of berries: I took some blueberries, black berries, and raspberries into a small bowl so that I can get a serving of fruit. A tomato: Even though I only used a couple slices for my sandwich, since the tomato was small, I thought, eh might as well eat the whole thing. I'm one of those people who sometimes eat as they make food. Lunch/ snack: Spinach and banana smoothie: This has spinach, one banana, some peanut butter, a little bit of vanilla, and unsweetened almond milk. Since I didn't eat breakfast, I thought I would make myself a snack/meal of sorts that is rather light but will ensure that I'm not fatigued later on in the day. A handful of nuts: for the iron. Dinner: 2 pieces of salmon: I marinated them with parsley, chives, basil, pesto, olive oil, lemon, Mediterranean dressing, onion powder, and a little bit of red chili powder, cooked them, and then served them with some bell peppers and onions. I normally would have only one piece but I'm trying to get my calories in. Sweet potato fries: I took one small sweet potato and then tossed it in some olive oil, red chili powder, lemon pepper, garlic powder, and Italian seasoning. Then I put them in the oven and cooked them til they were like fries. Cauliflower rice: the usual recipe. Had some in the fridge thought I use it up. I had a little bit of a head ache today. The headache I had yesterday was very mild and the headache I had today was about half as intense as the one yesterday. It lasted about 20 minutes. My energy was up today, I would say more so than yesterday. But around 3:30 pm or so I caught myself feeling tired. This was also around the time when my headache kicked in. I let myself close my eyes for about 30-40 minutes so I can get in some rest but I won't fall asleep and ruin my sleep schedule (I had an alarm on my phone). I felt better afterwards. No headache. No fatigue for the rest of the day. I think my body is taking a couple days to adjust back to me eating in a larger amount.

Society that's why. The club is trying to appeal to a large number of women based on society's standards so they can get money. They aren't trying to appeal to individual women. You don't have to look like a male stripper to turn a woman on

Also yall presentation is key. Sure part of presentation is your genetic looks but larger components of presentation include hygiene, the way you dress, the way you talk to a woman, and your level of confidence. I'm using a picture of bieber because I think this is a good example of what I'm talking about and it's easy to find pictures of him. He looks great on the left but on the right, he looks like a guy who would creep on a girl in the gas station in the middle of the night. IDK what happened to him between those couple of years but the guy looks like he has been through it.

I feel that when guys talk about women being sexualized or objectified, they are either blue or green. A blue guy will say women are being sexualized because in his eyes women need to maintain her purity. She can't walk around in a short skirt even if it is her choosing. That type of clothing is an example of ungodly behavior and vanity. He comes from a place of sexual repression for women. A green guy will say women are being sexualized because in his eyes women are being harassed. She should be able to walk around a short skirt if it is her choosing and not have to deal with creepy men who are catcalling her or have creeps assume that "she's asking for it." He comes from a place of sexual freedom and desire for consent. To me my definition of manipulation implies malicious and selfish intent and outcome. So if you are "manipulating" someone for their genuine care and well being because you have good reasons, that by definition isn't manipulation because you aren't doing anything harmful. Idk, I think I would need an example of this to understand what you're talking about. But if you have good intentions and you are choosing to not be fully authentic for the wellbeing of the other person in an informed way, to me that is being tactful. I guess an example I can think of is if a kid asks about something that is a very adult topic because the kid saw something on the news, you might not want to be fully authentic and explain everything rather you might want to give broad, age appropriate details so that the child's psychological well being is preserved in order to emotionally develop properly. I guess that could be seen as "manipulation" because you aren't being fully authentic and you might be lying by omission, but in this case, to me that is more so along the lines of being tactful because there isn't any malicious intent or result for it to be defined as manipulation.

Just checked out r/TrueRateMe Yeah I take that back. I don't have an unusually inclusive definition of beauty, these people are absolutely insane. https://www.reddit.com/r/truerateme/comments/kxdpdi/28f/ They rated this poor girl as a 6.5. To me I thought she was fairly attractive. Most of these girls on this reddit seem attractive to very attractive sooo yeah I'm 10000% the people rating these girls are incels who are projecting their own insecurities on women who look just fine.

Both Henry Cavill and Timothee Chalamet are what I believe twitter calls "white boy of the month" where you have a bunch of girls on twitter simping over random usually white boys before those girls finds new people to obsess over in the next month. I assure you for anyone reading this thread, normal girls or guys don't scrutinize your face or bone structure to that extent. Whatever flaw you might have, people don't care nearly as much as you do.

Ok I checked all the links out and I will say that I think it's stupid lol and that these people have WAAAAAY too much time on their hands. To me in in both the men's and the women's sections if it were up to me I would rank what the chart defines as a 10 all the way to 5 as very attractive to attractive depending on an individual's preferences. 4.5 - 2 to me look more like average people. The nose, lips, cheekbones, and face shape thing is kinda dumb. I looked at the people who they deemed as sub par as perfectly fine. I get the ratio and the symmetry thing but maybe the way I rate people is more broad and forgiving because I'm not out here measuring out people's faces like a obsessive lunatic, and maybe I might have a very inclusive definition of beauty and attractiveness. I also kinda get the skin thing but I find it nitpicky. You can be pretty attractive and still have acne or wrinkles. Yeah it's really difficult to just quantify beauty like that. Just because your nose is slightly crooked doesn't mean you get points taken off. Hell, most people probably aren't looking that closely at your face to analyze it and if they are that's weird as hell.

Intelligent is one thing. But to me a highly intelligent person knows better than to be an asshole and to manipulate someone. Being an asshole and playing games is a waste of time and puts you on bad terms with people. It's a dumb move if you ask me. From my experience, if a guy is really smart, he also has a lot consciousness to him. Then again, that might have to do with how I define smart. Stage red intelligent guys are manipulative and pretty dangerous. Very likely to be narcissistic. The example of a stage red intelligent guy that I immediately think of is a criminal mastermind or a ruthless mob boss. Stage blue intelligent guys are typically really smart in one area of their life, usually with their work. As far as manipulation goes, they are likely acting out a lot of trauma or a lot of unawareness to social issues, usually because of indoctrination. If you point out their manipulation, they would project and gaslight you. I met a couple of guys like that in college where they are academically really smart but they think trans people are subhuman and that women are born to submit and serve men for instance. Stage orange intelligent guys are usually the ones that are super ambitious, competitive, and like to one up people. I'm talking from my experience in school but these are the guys that will do anything to be number 1 and define their lives up with their stats, whether they are in high school and they derive their self worth from their high SAT scores, or they are in the real world and they define themselves by how much money they make and how much status their intellectual job might hold. IMO they are the most likely to manipulate because they think they are better than you because of how smart they are. Stage green intelligent guys may have the same lifestyle as stage orange intelligent guys where they are super ambitious and care about their work but they invest more of their intelligence into social and emotional intelligence. They are probably smart enough to be able to discern different social issues and empathize with women and their experience. They know how the economy and society works and they stand up for social causes, like climate change for example, not only because they care about the people getting affected but because they know systemically, caring about social causes progress society forward to where everyone benefits. Typically they look at the stage orange guy's desire to manipulate as stupidity in the sense of "you're so stupid and selfish for treating a woman like that" or "you're so stupid and selfish for not caring about the planet and that's why we are all screwed." I'm pretty sure these guys can still be manipulative but often it is more unintentional at least in my experience. But unlike stage blue, if you point it out, they are more likely to apologize and try their best of avoid doing whatever they were doing. Social and emotional intelligence is a huge indicator of how conscious and deep into stage green you are imo. I can't say much about stage yellow intelligent guys because I have yet to encounter one irl. I'd expect that they'd be even less judgmental than green who still looks down at other stages and writes them off as stupid because yellow knows about the spiral. I'd expect a stage yellow guy to also have too many ethics and self awareness to manipulate someone though I wouldn't say it's impossible, just much less likely because as you go up the spiral, you become less selfish and therefore less likely to manipulate because your ego doesn't feel the need to do that.

I also think passion is a huge factor. Often times I don't have the same interests as a guy but if a guy is passionate about something and appears knowledgeable about a subject, that's attractive. Sometimes that passion can seem like intelligence or nerdiness but I still rack it up to passion nonetheless because they don't know about the subject because they are smart, they know about the subject because they genuinely enjoy looking into it in their free time. Yet another reason to get a life purpose and invest time into things you are interested in or passionate about. Passion can make someone seem more authentic, ambitious and even intelligent, all of which are very attractive qualities. Plus if a person is super passionate about something, it makes you subconsciously think what other areas of life they may have that passionate energy in .

From what I understand you're talking about why when a woman makes the first move or starts approaching guys to flirt with them why that is looked down upon (correct me if I'm wrong). I guess it's the stereotype of men being the initiator while women being more passive at play. The man looks like he has balls when he goes on a whim and starts flirting with a lot of women, but if a woman does the same thing, she is seen as desperate and attention seeking rather than bold.

No I think it's a plus. Personally, I need to date an intelligent guy because I tried to go on dates dumber guys before and they straight up had no idea what I was talking about most of the time. Granted that this person is also emotionally intelligent. Emotional intelligence is much more important in a relationship than being logically intelligent. Also you can be logically stupid but also emotionally intelligent. Himbos are a real thing and some women prefer them. They are guy bimbos that are stupid and kinda funny but they still drink enough respect woman juice and have enough emotional intelligence to not be an asshole. In a lot of cases, they are too stupid to be deceptive and manipulative. They maybe slow but they aren't destructive.

This is kind of off topic but how do you even know where you fall in the 1-10 scale of attractiveness? Like so many people have so many various preferences, what looks like a 10 to me looks like a 5 in my friend's eyes and vice versa. I get what is considered attractive by society's standards but even then culturally things can vary A LOT. Also even if someone is attractive by society's standards, that doesn't mean that they are going to be attractive by an individual's standard. For me, I can look at a lot of celebrities that people often talk about being so sexy but a lot of the times, I can see why they would be considered attractive, kind of like how you can see why a painting would be considered beautiful, but I'm personally not attracted to them and they register as a 5-6 in my mind.

Food and Mental Health This is a subject that is interesting me more and more since I am seeing differences with how I feel emotionally after I eat. Hangry is a very real phenomenon lmao

Looking through old posts I just realized that I haven't thought of pizza since the time I had a flatbread about 2 weeks ago. I guess in some cases, just letting yourself eat the food you're craving and moving on is the best way to deal with the situation. I remember while I was writing this post, I was thinking about pizza almost everyday until I finally let myself have some. I responded to my future goals from a few weeks ago in the bolded words within parenthesis. I also have a couple posts where I talk about cutting down on wheat and soy based on what I saw on Leo's video. I knew that I wasn't going to follow that video exactly since a person's diet is a very individualized matter and isn't one of those things that can be fixed for many people with a one size fits all solution. I used it as a starting point since I didn't know what I was doing. Wheat isn't necessarily bad for me personally because I have issues with getting my carbs in as I have described numerous times with the headaches and the nausea I have been experiencing for the last few days. I believe that I still need it in my diet but I do have to be mindful of what kind of wheat I'm choosing, specifically whether or not it is gluten free. As for soy, I think things like tofu and tempeh can help my condition specifically even though this might be something that really messes with some people. Now unless any of that changes or I get any other type of new information, wheat and soy are here to stay in moderation.

I ate some white bread to deal with the headaches I was experiencing yesterday because of a lack of calories and carbs and how does my body repay me? By giving me a nice juicy pimple on my face that's how. God.... I hate this condition. I just want clear skin

@Preety_India I really appreciate it. Thank you so much

1/13/2020 Food Diary I woke up with a headache and even though my stomach wasn't feeling hungry, I thought it would be a good idea to eat anyway. That was really the theme for today. Even if I didn't feel like I needed to eat from my stomach, I still made it a point to eat more than what I'm used to in order to ensure that my body gets what it needs. After all, I have goals pertaining to that. I made it my intention today that I'm going to eat more than what I'm used to in order to see what will happen and see if my headaches and nausea goes away. Breakfast: 2 gluten free pieces of toast with an avocado and an egg: Originally I thought about eliminating bread entirely from my diet, even the gluten free kind. I thought that maybe that would help with the insulin resistance that is related to my PCOS. Yeah, that's not a good idea, for me anyway. I need to get some carbs and I think that is one of the reasons why I have been getting these headaches. I'm not eating a crazy amount of refined grains and I think I should be fine considering I have a lot of vegetables (and now incorporating more fruits) in my diet. It's not like my diet only consists of simple carbs. A handful of grapes and some pineapple: I feel like part of me didn't gravitate towards fruits because I thought that they are filled with sugar and that they would mess me up. I'm starting to question that and incorporate more fruits into my diet. I think an easy way to start is just having some fruit on the side with my regular breakfast or maybe as some type of snack. A glass of water with half of a lemon: I'm just getting back into lemon water. Lunch: Gluten free spaghetti with shrimp: I used some onion, tomatoes, garlic, bell peppers, shrimp, tomato sauce, parsley and a bunch of different spices to make this spaghetti. As usual, my spaghetti tends to be mainly vegetables and meat if I include some rather than noodles, but I don't mind that since that is usually how I like my spaghetti. I opted for spaghetti instead of a salad or zucchini noodles because I'm trying to get in more carbs and see if that helps anything. Snack: A handful of peanuts: This will help my iron deficiency. A green apple: again, trying to get in more fruits. I ate this apple when I caught myself feeling tired towards the evening and I found that it helped. Because I ate breakfast and ate a heavier lunch, I found myself feeling less tired around this time of day even though I still wanted to doze off. Dinner: Black eye pea salad with some spinach: I just had some of this salad remaining in the fridge and thought that I'd finish it up. 2 pieces of salmon: Trying to make dinner a little heavier than what I'm used to. Normally I opt for only one piece of salmon. Overall, I felt more energetic today, my mood felt more stable, and my headaches, though they were there, only lasted for a brief amount of time (maybe 45 minutes total in the entire day). I mainly felt tired in the evening but after I ate dinner, I felt energized again. I'm really starting to think that my tendency to want to take a nap in the afternoon/ evening is related to how much food is in my system. I also had a doctor's appointment today, specifically for the PCOS. I told him what I was doing with my diet and how I was feeling both in terms of the PCOS symptoms but also the headaches and the nausea that I was experiencing. He told me that it is likely that this is due to me restricting my calories too much and restricting too many carbs. And if I restrict more carbs, the headaches are going to get much worse and so will the PCOS symptoms. So, taking this into consideration, the gluten free toast, the gluten free spaghetti, and the gluten free tortillas are here to stay.

I mean I haven't been to a strip club so I don't know. I imagine that I'd think they were attractive but would I want to do anything physical or go on a date with them, probably not. I'm also more into subtlety and lightheartedness when it comes to I guess flirting or the way a guy approaches me. A guy stripping and giving me a lap dance aint it even if I think he is hot.

We get turned on by looks just as much as men do but we still take other factors into consideration. You can be hot as hell and that might give you more leeway and more of a margin of error if you are awkward, but creepy is still creepy even if you are hot. Social skills and emotional intelligence is crucial since for us attraction is also emotional/ psychological. So yeah we get turned on by looks a lot but that's not the only thing we get turned on by nor is it the only thing that is important. Exactly! The way you carry yourself and present yourself is super important. I would put the way you carry yourself as an intersection between looks and personality tbh.

@Nahm Thank you so much, this clears somethings up. This was super helpful

So, please correct me if I'm misunderstanding anything, what I'm getting is that I need to: find a silver lining in this situation and take advantage of it figure out a way that I can have my situation help my life purpose or simply ignore everything and focus on my purpose transcend what I find good and bad about reality and see it as neutral to the point the so called "bad stuff" doesn't get to me anymore because those labels (good and bad) are nothing more than a construction of my mind and the way the ego sees the world as things benefiting it and the stuff it relates to release the resistance I have with my parents by realizing that the reason why it gets under my skin is because what they are saying is deep down inside resonating with something inside me that I have yet to address.