Nathalie

@Elton Hey.. It seems Leo has made a video which could especially help you http://actualized.org/articles/awareness-alone-is-curative

@OhHiMark what can one possibly answer you..? All the answers you need are already hidden in the questions you made, if you go just a little deeplier by questioning, I'm sure you will find the best answers you can ever expect.. I would give it a try Wish you the best

@jes Why do you concretely think, you've failed? @Mal seems to know you so he/she can give you an advice.. But if one doesn't know you, it seems too global to me and so the anwer can only be vague.. Just one thing : without failures you can't learn anything! See them as a chance.. Is it possible for you?

you're very welcome and I hope you find a good way

NOOOO ! It really difficult to find a reason why one can act like this.. It just seems creasy.. Perhaps is (was) she totally overstrained?

@Ajax Hi Ajax, sorry to read this.. and difficult to give a useful statement, but if I understand it rightly, the same story seems to happen over and over again, she doesn't really know what she wants and affirms you're the responsible (!!) and you forgive and hope everything will be ok if you only be more attentive (??) In my opinion she should assume her part of responsability, define what she's going to do and become an adult one can trust. If this happens I'm sure you will feel the authenticity of her saying.. For the moment (considering what you've written) she sounds like an dependent who promises what ever you want to hear just in order to get what she wants.. I also think that the reason your daughter needs her parents isn't enough to stay with her: A child needs to be loved and to feel secure and she surely notice stressful situations even if you try to hide it (I had always wished my parents would have divorced..) But what about your own needs? You said you did well before she called you again.. Do you again want to go the same way? Did something change (from her side) since the last time you tried it? Can you learn something from this situation that makes you personally grow? In case she didn't personally evolve since the last time, I would considere a life without her, except in matters about your daughter.. Wish you the best, Martine

@carlo I would never do something I can't at least accept.. Why do you considere to do it? You are taking the risk to lose the rest of self esteem you have. It kind of hurts me even if I only know you from this side.. Please don't get me wrong, I haven't any judgments about a threesome.. I just think if people do it, each one has to want it, it's like every sexual experience.. If not, minimum one is being abused.. And yes I think it's possible that a man (call it being a "real" man if you want to) can be abused. This is never ok. If you ask me I see two possiblities: - you can look very deeply if you can accept and enjoy it, so you can do it or - tell your girl friend that you won't and explain why.. Try to let your moral objections a side (if one loves me she should bla bla bla) and just say exactly what you feel. No matter what happens afterward, I'm quite sure you feel better if you stay in tune with yourself Take care please

@Toby Did you? Is it so?

@dboyle As I read your message and al the posts above, I asked myself if it isn't possible to find a sensitive escort? They are also human arent they? Perhaps it's possible to include what you really want (maybe also learn something?) in your "agreement" and so you could make an enjoyable experience with a woman even if you pay for the time you spend with another.. Perhaps it's stupid, but we all pay for a lot of different services and expect good results nothing to be ashamed about, right?

@abrakamowse I've found a short video which may give you an insight of her teaching

shame on you what about Gangaji ?

@Pallero thank you for your statement.. Up to now, I always considere that a lot of people just don't want to show "you" their feelings maybe because of a lake of faith.. That they eventually don't recognize their feelings them self put the whole issue in another light, so to speak.. So again, thank you for sharing

Yes maybe.. and positivity and negativity are only two faces of the same thing.. Like you apparently do, I also tend to see everything from the "positive side" so the question could be: Do we need somebody in this case who shows us the other side? Are we denying something (generally speaking) ? Again, if it disturbs you while working or what ever I would clarify the issue directly when it happens. By conversations, I would look at it closely, to understand if I possibly lake something.. From a deep consciensness both sides (yours and hers) can be looked at neutrally, can't they?

Hi @chris_crunch , you're leaving in the same flat ? If so, all those arguments, bad moods and negativity get on your nerves, right? I would tell them this (likely both together), your feelings, from your stand point.. That's all.. Looking for a solution (e.g. arguments only on the balcony ) You can't assess, what's good for him or not, can you ? Maybe he needs it in order to become aware of something you can't know..

wrong !! it differs from one person to another (physical reasons, like inclination to addictions) furthermore from one life situation to another and sometimes even from one moment to another. Trust your innerself and stop listening to this kind of super ego who changes your life in hell.

exactly.. just feel what you feel by giving and taking. If your mind comes in, a lot of stories follow.. But if you don't, or let me say just before you start to think about it, it's the same, a kind of connectivity, bond.. isn't it?

@ChimpBrain don't know what you exactly mean with : if you're searching for more spiritual development according to the Spiral Dynamics, I would recommend you "Integral meditation" from Ken Wilber.. Just in case you don't already know him..

I think you can only be selfish or selfless when you're acting out of a dreaming state.. Too simple?? Don't have to be "enlightened" just conscient enough and you feel both, so to speak, at the same time.. Even not really both because before thinking it already has merged in one..

@Elton Hi Elton, I'm sure you now at least know , you're not alone .. So, relating to your tabacco addiction: I know this situation, I stopped so many times, I don't really remember how many.. and it does't bother me. I mean the point is, you've also had the power stopped over and over again, right? And one day you will have stop completely, it's certain if you want it. The last time I stopped, I helped myself with nicotine shewing gum, in Europe, you can get them in a pharmacy. It helps your physical body to stay calm, you just have to put one in your mouth each time you feel nervous and you get the same feeling as if you just have smoked one. And after a while you don't need them anymore either, almost effortless How ever, maybe you find another method to stop, just take any assistance you can get, Just remember: you don't have to make it too hard to yourself because any way to (definitely) stop is a good way

@John in addition to self inquiry and meditation etc.. that you surely use to find a healthy equilibrium I would learn a few simple technics how to communicate and small talk with people.. There are a lot of videos and books about small talk, pick a few ideas out use them and relaxe You often can make it very short, just smiling, saying "thank you", asking a few questions, a lot of people like to speak (maybe to much) so listen to them, concentrate in what they are saying instead of in the voices in your head (you can give the voices more attention while meditating). When you feel stressed concentrate on your breath , put a part of your attention in your body => it grounds you. With a little practice you can switch easely between what the people around you say and your bodily sensations and this will make you feel vital and as a result the conversation as well And finally, if you are able to empatize, you will see that almost everybody has a lot of problem to deal with, maybe they just hide it a little more..

@Andre thank you for taking the time to watch the video even if the tittle seems a little provocative .. but what do you mean with "other planets" ?

@Andre what do you think about this one ?

What would be meaningful for you? You said: As Leo suggested in a video, it's good to stop a "bad" habbit, but you have to replace it with a "good" one, it means something you don't have the feeling you're wasting your time.. Sports? Learning a new skill? Playing a music instrument? Internet can be great if you use it and don't be used by it, I wouldn't surf but look for interesting stoff If you want to stay focused.. I don't know a better method than meditation.. 20 minutes are ok as long as you don't wish or can more, you alone can determine it, right?

Hi @laki Ken Wilber (e.g. in Integral meditation) has exposed a theory about different evolution states and enlightenment. Maybe it clarifies a little the whole thing.. ?

maybe the first step.. Don't know if it works.. Living without avoiding feelings makes life exciting.. But of course it's just my opinion.. what I experience