Nick_98

I’ve done that in the past and still do. I let these thoughts arise without acting on it. When I said he makes me angry I didn’t mean I express this anger out I just meant the emotion of anger arises

I guess that’s what I’ve actively let myself do for the past two years but did yield small improvements

Hmmm thanks.

I don’t know. But nice guess.

I have found in the past that letting my emotions rise and investigating it is a tough experience and affects my psychological well being negatively.however, I will still try to do that, guess there is only one way out. Thanks for the advice.

Thanks Joshe

Great advice, thank you. Generally speaking when he is not around I don’t feel any anger. But then he shows up and this emotions start to rise, I keep focus on my breath, try not to judge him and Treat him with respect. I think I did a great job in the past maintaining and preserving our relationship, when we pass by we say Hello, Good Morning and Good night. but I thought that there could’ve been a trick or a technique I can trick my mind into stopping generating these emotions. But unfortunately I can’t find any. I would have to face my own curse.

Anyways I think the replies on this posts are very valuable. You all offered me great advices I really appreciate it. However, that was not what I was hoping for, I didn't want the thread to go to this direction " moving out " and "leaving your house". I understand that they are reasonable advices. But as I mentioned above, it currently is not the right move in my opinion and I'm not financially at great ease, the disadvantages outweighs the benefits here. I hoped that there is someone out there who is emotionally intelligent , to tell me how to convert these thoughts, into something that I can work with. Not change my outer world , but my inner world.

Thanks for your advice. I have made an account on an online platform and paid a good amount to find a job online. I did spend on connects , connects are like coins you can use to apply for jobs. But unfortunately didn't get any job online. I tried.

I live with my mother as well. She can't afford me leaving her place, she's very reliant on me emotionally and I respect her and won't do this to her. I live in the middle east it's not always the right solution to move out. You might lose ties with your family entirely not only your father. If I move out then I might lose ties with all my relatives that I highly respect and that some day can help me if I face a problem. And In the country I live in, you. need your relatives to survive, the more social ties you have the easier your life becomes. I can't afford to alienate myself for a small problem, I can literally live with it I have done so for the last 2 years but I think life would be better if I don't get angry at him. Seems to me that the only solution is to move out, I hoped that there was another solution. Till that time to comes when I move out , I want to thank you for your advice. Just to clarify, the only two valid reasons to leave your house in the middle east is that if you are going to get a new house to marry , or if your career situation depends on it for example traveling for studying/working abroad etc.. That is the only way you can move out without losing your ties and relatives because they know you moved out for a valid reason. But if i just tried to rent my own room I face couple of problems My parents will get really upset why did he leave us ? My relatives might alienate from me , Why did he do that ? I might stumble across a roommate that is religious and smells bad , I might get angry at them as well. So can you tell me now how is that problem solved ? I loose a lot of money. Instead of channelling my money to something that is going to help me I waste it when I already pay nothing at the place i'm staying in. My mother cooks for me , so If I leave I will have to pay for cooking , shopping , etc.. all that is extra work. Is that a valid reason to go through this route just because I get angry at my father because he smells bad ? That makes no sense. I can live with it.. It's fine I don't mean autonomy is not important , of course autonomy is important. But living with my parents saves me a lot of bucks and effort , which gives me room to focus on my work. Autonomy is VERY important. But right now I don't have enough money to live fully autonomous. I need some support , I don't get paid a lot.

I understand we are all flawed individuals, also I want to mention that he has a lot of good characteristics like being polite, nice , and somewhat generous. He curses very rarely and treat me with great respect. But that doesn't eliminate the anger. Today I saw him and I was not angry at him. This was straight after I contemplated why I get angry at him, maybe elaborating the thought process in my mind has caused this annoyance to diminish a little bit. Do you know if there is anyway i can rewire my subconscious mind or thought process so I stop getting angry/annoyed at him?

I'm in my late twenties. I already have a job but it doesn't pay well enough to get my own place.

Hello Verdes, thanks for offering assistance. However, this is not an applicable advice at the moment.

Thanks Dodo

Gotcha

Op I’m sorry but who told you that everyone is like this girl ? Maybe you just happen to stumble across the wrong people quite a lot. But that doesn’t mean everyone is like this . ok how to change this situation to make it more beneficial to you ? i don’t want to project the situation outwards and not focus on yourself, that will be a waste of time. practice non Judgment, learn to not judge this girl. Hard enough? That’s your challenge have a good day

Look the thing is if it is not an interesting read it won’t stick to your head. Ask yourself one simple question. What’s interesting in what I am reading? If you can spot the interesting thing you’ll be engaged with it and learn a lot more, but if you ask this question and you don’t find anything interesting chances are the book is not the right one for you.

my life purpose is to drink coffee in the morning and meet awesome people. Simple as that !! 🙂 you can not alienate yourself from society and think you will find your purpose that way. Your purpose is embedded in communicating with other people. That’s what I’ve recently realised. Your main purpose is to belong somehow somewhere. And people can feed you a lot of purpose doing that alone will rarely work. You need other people feed you the purpose. That’s it.

I’m sorry you had to go through a breakup. my advice to you is to relax.. it is not the end of the world! Take a break from searching for a girl you need a break you can’t let these thoughts of wanting to get a rebound control you relax relax relax you need to relax😁

I used to be like that, very excited. But I want to clarify something, maybe you’re just horny. And guess what, that’s a good thing! Your Libido is functioning well, you’re emotionally on the roof that is the best time in your life. Unfortunately, after you age you will see these emotions do not last forever. My opinion that if you have sex it will be more pleasurable than the ppl you’re comparing yourself with. Relax!

My honest opinion ? God is testing you both, especially you. the question for you would be , do you want to sacrifice the small things to have with him a life long relationship ? it’s not about who did what wrong. It’s about you sacrificing the things that are irritating in your relationship to see if you would last for a lifetime. If you both are not willing to quit these arguments that feed on taking your inner peace this relationship cannot continue.

You didn’t do anything wrong stop overthinking it. It’s a volume game, the more you find leads the more likely one is going to go on a date with you. Don’t stress yourself No reason. if a girl is really into you you could text her Fuck you and she will still go out on a date with you

People are a reflection to your own self

Hello , I come from a muslim background, I got taught in school about it and I'm also a muslim based on my family identity. However I would say , Leo should not blamed for not understanding islam, I as well do not understand it completely. There is a HUGE language barrier between English and Arabic which makes Leo in an unfair disadvantage to try to decipher the teachings. The fact that Leo even read about islam is something I highly respect it shows the character of a very open minded and knowledgable person. The language in which the Quraan was given is a passes Highest levels of the Arabic language. You need someone who studies that for over 20+ years to start to decipher just the logic behind islam. However there are general things that could be well understood even if you are a foreigner to the language. Like for example Quraan's main rehearsed phrases. Quran Mostly focus on two aspects, The Heaven and the Hell. The people who believed in Mohamed the messenger , and the people who didn't believe that mohamed carried a true message. Quraan states that the people who believed in mohamed and did what the quraan explains will go to heaven. for example: Praying 5 times a day, Marrying only 4 women tops only under the condition that you provide for them "equally" , being kind to your parents even if they are mean, etc.. The people who do not follow mohamed are automatically labelled as NON believers , and shall go to hell. Quraan describes heaven and hell, Also it describes the kind of punishment god will do to the non believers , and what kind of Ever lasting peace god will provide for the Believers. The day which the Quraan is talking about is labelled the last day or correctly speaking" يوم الآخرة""Yum al akhra" .. the day where people will be revived again according to quraan. Anyways, I just want to say that since I got taught Quraan since I was a child, and even had a teacher that visited me weekly to teach me some lessons, I wanna say that there is a HUGE language barrier there , even if you translate Quraan you are not doing it a big favor. Quraan is written in "Fusha" it's like a high level german language in terms of its difficulty. You need to be fluent in arabic first in order to start understanding "fusha" language. Translation can get you so far , but you will never reach the entire meaning. so guys.. Props to you for even reading about it. that was a brief about islam. Additional notes Even tho I don't practice islam I want to share with you my favorite "Hadith" from prophet mohamed. Hadith means a sentence or couple of sentences that mohamed has said Are you ready to know my favorite Hadith ? It goes like this.. " Whoever believes in God and Yum al Akhra" should say something nice or shut up" that's my favorite hadith. It does mean that you shouldn't curse , you shouldn't irritate someone else by your words. It's as well in my opinion one of the hardest things to do. Try it Also That is my favorite hadith in general I don't mean anything against OP. OP presented us with a valid argument which I highly respect. Props to you op and Props to you Leo as well. Have a good day.

I have been thinking about this question for a couple of days and it still doesn’t make any sense to me. In the most popular religions like christianity and Islam, you are encouraged to have sex as long as you’re married to the person that you’re having sex with. it’s even stated in islam that you can have sex with 4 different women as long as you are married to them and providing to them equally the same share of money/assets. it doesn’t make any sense to me that Prophet mohamed who was a religious person did have a wife and children. now how does religion not forbid sex ? How does it encourage sex instead through marriage ? I believe a person who is very close to god would abstain from Pleasing themselves. At the end of the day what’s sex more than pleasing your own self. i believe that a real religion would forbid sex and calls on abstaining from it permanently, that makes a lot more sense if you’re trying to be “religious” does anybody have any explanation how and why is that ?