Anon212

@Tim R Yes there is a past experience where I have been too insecure to share how I feel. Of course, it turned into a friendship. I think it makes sense. I mean she was giving me signals all day and eventually went up and lay in my bed but when I actually started to make a move, it confused the hell out of her.

@Lyubov Yeah it's the same again, absolute indecisiveness. I wasn't clear with her that I wanted a relationship with her or even sex. I guess that's why she said she had no idea I was into her when I started to make out with her. I completely failed to show that I was interested in her romantically.

@Roy You are damn right. I was extremely indecisive and was too shy to show any romantic interest. In retrospect, I could have kissed her at a much earlier date or at least flirted a bit more. I don't think I even complimented her even once leading up to her being in my room which is just terrible.

Sorry about the title, I really do love my synonyms. I just have some serious life questions and I was hoping I could draw upon the infinite wisdom and experience of actualized forum users and of course God himself/herself/itself. Alright in all seriousness, I do find myself kind of stuck in life. I am a 21 year old graduate. I studied physiology in uni and finished up a couple of months ago. I've been moving quite slowly since. Initially I moved home but I found it difficult to live with my religious parents so I left quite fast. I became interested in e-commerce and started studying that quite deeply but I needed a job to keep myself ticking over. I ended up taking a job in a bakery which is not bad to be honest but I certainly am not fulfilled there. Right now my costs are very low (I live with a wonderful friend) and I save money while only working three days a week. Now here is the bind, more recently I paid $5000 for a marketing and copywriting course. I mean it when I say that I am deriving more value from this course than I did from college. It's phenomenal. But at the same time, I feel so fucking lost man. I don't know what I'm doing, where I am going or what comes next. During this period I turned down a few professional jobs and a PhD offer which now makes me a but uneasy but I have no drive to work 40-50 hours a week on silly shit right now. My friends are progressing in their careers and making dolla bills while I'm sitting back trying to figure out what to do. I've done the life purpose course twice but I still can't pinpoint exactly what I want to do. I decided to learn marketing simply because deep down I know I will run a business one day. So this is where I am. I feel like the spiritual side of things for me is strong. I've been following Leo for years and have been meditating for the last three to four years. I spent most of my time in college alone just focusing on spirituality. It was worth it. It totally changed my life, however there are two key areas in my life lacking right and I don't know how to tackle it. I have never had a girlfriend and my game fucking sucks. My career is in limbo (this is where I really feel lost, the girl stuff doesn't bother me as much). Where do I began? What do I focus on? What the fuck do I do? I don't know what the next step is? Do I just keep working and doing the course? Should I get a professional job just for some experience? Or should I start clubbing and getting laid? I am genuinely confused. I honestly don't know what to do. I have a strong work ethic and I'm working away every day and learning lots but I'm just lost. Lost, lost, lost. Any and all advice is appreciated. Thanks in advance!

In Leo's God-realization video, Leo describes consciousness as dial. It can be dialed up or down. I've been looking around for other teachers who at the least explain consciousness in a similar way (for cross reference). I think Sadhguru makes a similar analogy in this video at 10:20. He just uses the word awareness in place of consciousness. Anyone know of other teachers that speak on this? Thanks!

I made a post while back describing this Shambavi Mahamudra meditation that I learned from the Isha Foundation. It is a yogic practice taught by Sadhguru and his trained teachers. I just wanted to share how the mediation has changed me over a couple of months. Before I mention what it did to me, I will say that the results vary quite drastically between individuals. Some people report quitting smoking cigarettes and pot within a week whereas others say they experience no benefit after two years of practice. It just depends on the person. For me, it turned out to be the best decision of my life. When I started initially, I did get this euphoric feeling but this died down over the months. In the early stages, I also noticed that most of my compulsions fell away... Literally within 2-3 weeks, however slowly they started to come back and over a period of 2-3 months I felt as though I was back to pre-meditation. However, the recommendation by the teachers was to continue for at least six months irrespective of what happened and so I did... Really after the four month mark, I started to see some great changes. For many years, I have suffered from IBS (irritable bowl syndrome) and this magically disappeared. I mean it. I haven't had a stomach ache in over a month. Nothing else has really changed and the only thing I can attribute it to is the meditation. I also had a certain combination of issues which included people-pleasing, nice-guy, and indecisiveness. These often coexist. Recently, I noticed that these issues have improved quite significantly. For me to say that they are completely gone would be absurd, but the improvement has been incredible. I think the meditation helped me develop a frame for myself. I was so intensely focused inwards while meditating, that I developed a strong frame (I would be more within my own body) and noticed that I would confront people more. I reduced people-pleasing quite significantly, started ignoring people's opinions more than I ever have in the past and for the first time ever, started to make decisions swiftly for myself. Yes, I'm shocked too that a damn meditation could do this but I can't see how it was anything else. Further, I had many other issues including nail biting (gone), social anxiety (significantly reduced), biting random shit (gone), addiction to sugar, caffeine and fast foods (90% gone). I had difficulty focusing on tasks and this has improved probably 5 fold. My cardio respiratory fitness has improved and I actually measured this. Of course not to a perfect standard. There was a claim that the meditation improved lung capacity and I also saw this to be true (despite no changes in workout program). Overall, I would also say that I look 3-5 years younger. I recognize the for me to come on here and make such claims is quite crazy. People spend years ridding themselves of some of this issues but this meditation really has worked wonders for me. I am not here to advertise it, just sharing how it completely transformed me in five months. Mind you, the recommendation was 2x a day for 40 days and then 1x per day after. I would do it much more. Sometimes 3-4x a day for weeks straight. Maybe this gave me results faster. Very recently, the euphoria that I felt in the first 2-3 weeks of the meditation is returning - but more slowly. I feel much better. My mood is great 6/7 days, and I have been able to instill many many good habits. I use to struggle to wake up before 9AM and now I effortlessly wake up at 6.30AM and did I mention that my sleep quota has dropped by 1.5 hours! From 8 hours to 6.5. I suspect it will fall further...! For those of you thinking about doing it, I would say go for it! But don't expect anything because I have spoken to people who showed no major improvements in their lives. It is possible that they may not be noticing the changes or they may be doing it incorrectly. I just don't know. Has anyone else done this meditation? If so, how is it working out for you?

@samijiben Hey man, Shambavi Mahamudra and Shambavi Mudra are two different practices. This is a very basic meditation. To be honest, they both are when it comes to existential matters. For me, the former helped improved my life (survival) but no spiritual benefits. Shambavi Mudra is good but it is not the practice I'm talking about.

I have spoken on this guy in the past addressing his radical claims. He has a kriya meditation on YouTube which (honestly) really isn't great so I decided to test the waters with his work further. I have recently been 'consecrated' by him into the Shambavi Mahamudra Kriya and I would like to share what I experienced. Well firstly, there was a massive difference in doing the meditation with him than doing it alone. I was consecrated online but the day it happened the meditation was 'explosive' to say the least, it genuinely left me trembling, the next few days it was much lighter though still very powerful. Anytime the dude clapped his hands, I could feel my energies going crazy. He made some radical claims (again) throughout the sessions and I hope to confirm them. He said that over a certain period of time, you will hit a layer of being called the bliss body and burst into ecstasy. With consistent practice, it will become your natural state, A perpetual state of orgasm... Further the meditation is dubbed to have tremendous healing capacities because it puts you in touch with the 'source'. Actually there are some scientific studies on this. There were innumerable other physiological, psychological and spiritual benefits mentioned by him. Six months was the time frame given. He said that you will not recognise yourself in six months. Your consciousness will be that different. I guess I will update you guys in a few months, but so far it truly has been amazing. He said if enlightenment is of interest, then it is important to seek consistently but he also said that if one doesn't make it and has been initiated or consecrated by him - they have nothing to worry about. He essentially said that he will deal with you after you die and you will not take on another body, the game is over. Again, I have yet to confirm these and am practicing consistently to do so. I mention this here because I am curious to hear if anyone else has had an experience with him and also what you guys think of him? Also, has anyone else who has been consecrated with this particular kriya (long before I have), started to experience any of these more profound benefits?

The GOAT has returned. Just kidding. But in seriousness, I remember Leo describing Trump's inauguration as "collective backlash" for Obama's two terms and I thought this was quite an apt description as I notice my inner Trump comes out everytime I make some progress in my life. I'm trying to understand how, after everything has happened, he can step up again and receive such a gracious welcome? He acted like an impulsive, childish, narcissist, lunatic at the call of the last election and showed no class by not showing up to the inauguration. Heck even stage blue Pence had that decency. Nevermind the inauguration. Look at downplaying the pandemic, further inaction and then blaming everyone but himself. How do people not see the games he is playing? Is there a possibility that there will be a second term with Trump in 2024? I fear that if Biden's senility worsens, he may capitalize on that (and many other things) to try to get back in. It seems possible that he could be back in 2024. What do you guys think? Also, what would be the most effective way to help Trump followers move up the spiral? If we as conscious citizens cared about politics and wanted to help this cohort of people grow, how would we go about it? I don't see how you can work with people who are so closed minded.

Just got the single shot J&J vaccine. I'm a young 21 year old. I actually developed a headache within an hour and it got worse throughout the day. Paracetamol does the trick. It is a bit crappy for some people, but thank God for these vaccines. I can finally travel now.

I have completed the life purpose course. I want to start some sort of a personal development business, although I love spirituality too. Today my thesis supervisor emailed me and offered me a PhD position in his lab. It is four years long. It is also in exercise physiology which is an area in which I strive. In fact I would consider exercise physiology a zone of excellence for me. I am not however truly passionate about it. I graduate in two weeks and then I am out in the open. Complete uncertainty. I have less than a week to accept this offer. The PhD is the path of least resistance I guess. I have 10,000 pounds saved up. I could go all in and pursue my passions or I could take this PhD and and save more money however it will be four years of my life and by the time I am finished I will be 25. Any advice anyone? Should I take this offer or should I pursue my dreams. I know this may sound ridiculous but I am really tempted to accept. Man this is so tough. I have always excelled in academia, I even got a full scholarship to study my undergraduate degree, however there is just no juice to it. There is nothing exhilarating about doing some EMGs/EEGs and writing scientific reports. I am really stuck here. I really need advice.

I did the life purpose course two years ago and I have recently gone over it again. With that I have done other similar courses and read books and have come to the same result: I want to teach something around health, exercise and spirituality. It would be great if I could figure out a niche and combine them all but I am facing some issues now. I made a post recently about a PhD offer I got that I turned down. Now I'm thinking I should have accepted it but I don't even know if I want to do it. I say that because I know if I have a PhD in something, people will be more inclined to listen to me. It helps that the PhD was in exercise physiology. I don't know how I'm going to execute on my purpose. I don't know if I should go back to college. The main reason I would go back to college is to gain more accolades so that I appear as more learned. Otherwise I know it's bullshit. Also, I have noticed recently that I am quite impulsive. I woke up one day and thought "oh I should become a personal trainer, I've done bodybuilding, powerlifting and martial arts in the past". But then the gyms opened up, I took my brother to the gym to teach him how to lift and thought "wow this is boring". The next day I started thinking about doing medicine. This is definitely because my asian parents have brainwashed this shit into me. I don't really want to be a doctor but I'm considering it - again just out of pure pressure. Clearly this jumping between careers in my mind shows a lack of clarity. I have just graduated from college, I have a nice bit of cash saved up and I am living cost free with my parents. My parents are pushing me to pursue medicine. My friends are pushing me to do the PhD and yet I know deep down that none of this is for me. I also recently read The Big Leap and it shows that I really want to teach. My top three values are spirituality, health and wisdom. I have gone through some very (very) severe traumas in the past and I think that (compared to others my age), I have become quite wise. When I say traumas, I mean a toxic household, physical traumas, many bullies in school (I grew up as an Asian in a conservative area), lack of love. I ending up being a people pleaser, nice guy, subject to narcissist...man the lists goes on. I'm not going to get into it but honestly there is so much that I feel lucky I haven't fallen into deep depression. When I listen to someone like Ram Dass and he says that this suffering is grace as helps you to awaken, I really resonate with him. In the last two years I have spent over 1000 hours meditating and I have read at least 30 books on spirituality from Mooji to Sadhguru to Ralston. I have also read lots of psychology. With that I have religiously followed Leo also! At one point I thought I was falling for the newbie non duality trap but I also looked at this very carefully and it just wasn't the case. This shit means everything to me. However if I started teaching spirituality, my Muslim family will disown me. No doubt. To add to all of that, I am quite nihilistic right now. The classic stage green nihilism and I know I must go through this. It's difficult to square this nihilism with attempting to work on my life purpose. I'm super confused. Should I continue trying to figure out my purpose? Should I go back to college? Should I get a job in a pharma company for a while? Should I take a year off? And how do I work with this considering I don't really seem to apply meaning to anything right now. I feel kind of stuck because I'm sitting at home doing nothing and I see my friends going into their pharma jobs, PhDs, med school etc ... I'm not jealous but I feel uneasy because there is no movement in my life as there is in others lives. I also feel very lonely at times. I am quite weird. I mean, the nature of the books that I read is quite weird. Nobody and I mean NOBODY around me is studying psychedelics, spiritual schools and teachers, developmental psychology etc... you know the whole self-actualized stuff. I seriously need advice man. Is there anyone that can offer anything?

@gggkkk I think you have summed it up quiet nicely!

I resonated so much with this video but I don't think I fully get what he is saying. I do feel stuck in life but I can't see how I am getting satisfaction out of the position I am in. Can someone give a couple of specific examples. Examples of the secret payoffs.

@Snader I don't recommend doing that but it is just the truth. Of course you shouldn't eat cheeseburgers and hotdogs but you can still lose weight if your caloric intake is low enough. Again don't recommend it... Yes, the rule applies to most people. To lose weight you need to consume less than your body uses up. Of course, I have heard of yogis who develop tremendous abilities to manipulate their metabolism but they are not most people.

Lol, diet is such a controversial area. You don't necessarily have to cut out carbs. In fact, if you want to lose weight you should combine diet and exercise and though a lot of people argue with this, carbs are amazing for exercise. The evidence for high fat diets boosting athletic performance/exercise is not great. I think you should eat healthy carbs for sure. Maintain a nitrogen surplus (eat high quality protein) and be in a caloric deficit (lose weight). You can eat shit and still lose weight if you're in a caloric deficit. The rule is simple. You must take in less than what your body uses up. Then you can lose weight. Of course this is not a good idea. I won't go into detail but I think you should aim for body recomposition especially if you are young and detrained. For this, it's best to do a combination of HIIT training and moderate intensity resistance training. Again, nitrogen surplus (muscle growth) and caloric deficit (fat loss) should be present. Don't ignore putting on muscle. A certain amount of muscle is good for you. It will increase you self-esteem, strengthen bones, improve the immune response. In fact the benefits are endless. HIIT will significantly improve your cardiorespiratory fitness and your day to day tasks will become a lot easier. This may sound hard but it's quite easy. You can train 2-3 days a week, fix your diet and get excellent results.

I have always wanted to be a teacher. I just love teaching. When I was younger I use to give biology grinds. Early in college I use to teach organic chemistry to my classmates. For the past few years I have been following Leo's work and many other teachers. Now I like to speak about spirituality, self-help and relationships. I don't doubt my physiological knowledge one bit and know that I can be a teacher in that field but I am not passionate about it. It seems quite boring compared to non-duality, spirituality etc... This shit is much more meaningful. Herein lies the problem. I always say to myself. Why should I teach when there are teachers out there at the calibre of Leo and Sadhguru? I have enough intelligence to recognise that I am nowhere near, not even in the same stratosphere with regards to understanding, nuance and teaching skills as these guys. So why should I teach when others are much more suitable? Maybe I have had 3 spiritual awakenings but someone else has had 50 and has a much deeper understanding of reality than I do. Maybe I have read 50 books on relationships but someone else has read 500 books. I don't know what I should do? I really want to fu*king teach but I look at myself and see all the problems, all the shadow work that needs to be done, all the reading, studying, inquiring, contemplating that I must do and so on... All the self-deception games that I play, self-biases and of course I probably have an innumerable amount of blind spots right now. At the same time, I feel much more advanced than everyone around me (in person). Can anyone advise me on this? Is this an issue of self-worth, or a legitimate concern? With college drawing to a close, I need to act now. But something is holding me back. I don't want to spit out the limitations of 'myself' into the world. I don't get it...

Thanks for all of the feedback. The offer was on very short notice. I turned it down. I am not spending another four years in college. It just hit me how absurd it would be for me to do this college shit all over again. Again, I appreciate all of the advice! Time to get to work...

@Girzo haha sure, I mean I learned a yogic kriya recently and a claim that came with it was that 100% of lung capacity is reached within 3 years of practice. Just as a comparison high level athletes are at around 80%... Maybe putting these claims to the test might push science forward a bit if they turn out to be true ...

Surely yogis are God-realised? I mean if you read some of the stuff they are capable of doing, it seems as though it would be impossible without God-realisation. I mean Ramakrishna had to create a false desire for food to hold onto his body...? Isn't the pinnacle of consciousness associates with literal death (despite death being an illusion). Of course I am biased as hell, I want my favorite yogis to be god-realized because they have impacted me so profoundly. I would recommend, "more than a life", it's about Sadhguru... Really crazy shit in there.

@Thought Art Haha, I'm hearing this from many... buuut there is a side to me that wants to take a risk. I have nothing to lose... or maybe I'm just a naive young man. Maybe I need to be more pragmatic!

@Bubba66 Thank you for this response. I think I will speak to my supervisor regarding the opportunity. I don't think personal development is a mimicry of actualized.org. I found actualized three years ago and I have been a personal development junkie since 15 years old (through Elliot Hulse). That's 6 years ago. Yes I started doing personal development at a very young age and its the reason why I secured a scholarship for college. I love spirituality too. I have probably read 10+ self help/spirituality books in the last few months alone while also working on my thesis. I always make time for this stuff. I have paid 100s for self-help/spiritual courses too (including the life purpose course) and have been working on various meditations for the past two years. Last year of college was quite easy and I spent most of time studying spiritual teachers and self help teachers. I think I have amassed 30+ of them now and read 50/60+ books on this!! This stuff is my whole damn life! I love learning but doing it on my own terms. I am 21 years old now, I have no debt and a decent amount of money saved up. The only thing is that I am out in the open in two weeks without any certainty. My mates have all gotten PhDs sorted though I am very different to them. They think I am a a bit if a nutjob when I talk to them about consciousness lol. I just feel very uneasy right now. I don't know what to do.

@Raptorsin7 It is paid at 20k per year. There will be 0 debt. With a doctorate you can certainly expect to make 80k+ starting but it depends on where you find work.

@Yarco Essentially pressure from family and society is correct, however there is the element of certainty. I know I will be fine working at this over the next few years, will have a decent inflow of cash. My final year thesis was similar this PhD program and I certainly was not passionate about it. It was ok at best. Of course my family and friends are pushing me to take it because it is an opportunity on a platter.

Holy sheet bro, I just started a thread on this. I just got a PhD offer today and I am really on the fence about it. It offers a flow of cash and certainty for the next four years but I am not passionate about it. If you could go back, would you have done the PhD?