WonderSeeker

Ever since I joined this forum in March 2020, I've had very mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, it's a blessing that this exists. I'm awfully thankful for the golden nuggets that people drop, be it practical-resource posts, or interesting advice/feedback/conversations. However, there are tons of flipsides to this place. Most of it depends on you, but some of it is pre-given, as forums are open to all players. There's no way I'm going to touch on everything here + some of you may disagree with these points. So please, feel free to add your own thoughts! Traps one may fall into on the forum: The #1 trap: wasting time, compounding into hours, days, and even weeks of lost time Getting triggered and more importantly, not being aware of one's own triggered-ness Trolling, debating, or defending pet-theories out of spite/pride Wanting to have a high post-count (I'm not saying that people with high post-counts actually want this, just pointing out this as a general, natural tendency) Posting just to get self-esteem boosts or to shoot-the-shit, as if this is social media or therapy Worrying about whether or not people will respond to your comments/posts; if you have this fear then don't even post (for your own sake), just observe How to use the forum to get the most out of it: Only use this forum because you are choosing to use it, not out of an unconscious, reactionary habit (I used to have this page bookmarked but dropped it so now I have to consciously decide when to hop on) Stay away from toxic threads (don't let chimp-ery appeal to your lower self; seek that which you want, not what you don't want) Actually learn from those who are wiser than you, do not idol-worship others Detach your heart from the 'outcome' of posts Delete your expectations Dive into new perspectives, even if it's a bit uncomfortable When in doubt about somebody's advice, ask "does this feel right?" (even if their advice is 'objectively good', if it doesn't feel right to you, than maybe you're not ready for it, and that's okay) Give encouragement to others, so long as they're being genuine and not looking for attention (it really makes a difference to people when they feel seen in this work: self-actualization is challenging!) If you feel some connection with another user, PM them! Sometimes you'll make fruitful 1-on-1 conversations and learn even more that way vs. a post Don't take the forum too too seriously, have some fun sometimes! But don't overdo it and become a clown

Have any of you ever had a state of feeling deep shameful feelings that just smacked you out of the blue? Last night I was about to go out with friends but took a detour away from the venue, as I began feeling paranoid and submissive towards people. I felt shame about who I was, and this came with feelings of division with other people to the point where I couldn't even look people in the eye. Since I've done lots of meditation, psychedelic trips, and binaural beats in the past couple of years, this state was imbued with a sense of no-self. Honestly, the no-self was less scary than the shame, because the shame is a part of this deep interpersonal shadow that I have due to traumas I accrued as a kid, mainly through bullying. Has anyone had a similar experience? This was really scary and I'm still trying to make sense of what this was and why it happened so suddenly.

Yeah, web-search the correlations between chakras and psychological levels of development. Ken Wilber matches them in his work as well.

Bring up past experiences where others were appearing to be doing wrong to you. Notice how there's a flip side to this: you judged and blamed, thus contributing to their behavior OR the way that they were acting was out of innocent ignorance and you just couldn't see this. If you realize that, then the next step would be to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for not knowing better, for being so blind to your devilish behavior. But don't put the cart before the horse (forgiveness before admitting your devilry). Cheers!

Precisely, it's a break in integrity. Having integrity is all about alignment. For me I get a sensation in my heart and throat areas. I was bullied much during my belongingness (heart chakra) & self-esteem (throat chakra) stages of development. Yo I get that too! It's so sneaky, because you feel like something is off, but you don't know what it is. Yep, that's the plan.

@soos_mite_ah Here's a fun primer: Really contemplate the coherence vs. correspondence theories part. It helps you to delineate "intra-" vs "inter-" when you draw distinctions. The rest is about various ideologies. Just somewhere to start!

I was confronted with the devilry to such a high degree through a sort of psycho-physical suffering that there was no avoiding it; it was as if I was FORCED to admit it. Hell, I was having dreams of past girlfriends in the nights leading up to the experince. The funny part is I relived devilish acts in the dreams! I huge insight that I had in reflecting on the experience is this: you know when you're being devilish because you will feel like you're doing something wrong in the moment, even though you usually can't logically deduce what it is. Like, you'll literally get this 'dirty' feeling in your body or mind that says "I think I'm doing something wrong." Watch out for it! I'd say it's only useless if you don't learn from it! Wonderful, thanks. Yes, I actually whole-heartedly agree with everything you wrote. Yep, there was definitely a "meta-" quality to the experience I had. For example, I texted somebody local, letting them know I was having this psychotic experience. I felt so guilty about sending the text, because I knew they were going out to have fun that night and I didn't want to take away from that, that it took me 30 minutes just to send the text. Yeah, the experience sucked, but I applied lots of mindfulness and non-judgement to it. I also introspected on it the day after, and now I feel amazing. Take the view that if tended to properly, anti-blissful, low-vibe experiences can be a good thing in the long-run

@Egzoset You're a poetic writer. No, after contemplating today I realized that the shame-fest I endured was directly connected to long-standing interpersonal issues in me. I accrued tons of social traumas as a child (including literally YEARS of bullying at school, which I hid from my family). Since then (over the past 10 years) I've been working on getting better at seduction/dating and social life. It's been a super painful journey, and today I came to the conclusion that I psychologically wronged many people (especially women) in the past 10 years. I have prided myself on integrity all the while, but last night's sudden experience forced me to admit that I wasn't being as saintly as I thought I was. I AM the devil. When I first watched this episode over a year ago, I could sort of intellectually get it. Now, I REALLY get it. For those of you reading, actually seeing and especially feeling your very own devilry is a whole different game. You never would have thought that it was you all along!

@Jacob Morres Not weird at all. You're touching on the idea of holons. Google it. Read Ken Wilber's books if you're interested.

Yes. Also @Yeah Yeah drop the word approach if you haven't already. It has negative connotations associated with it. Focus on talking to and connecting with women. Seduction is a step-by-step process, and it will naturally lead to sex. Some years from now when you've got it, you'll look back at *right now* and laugh, as if this were actually an issue!

Thank you all for the feedback. Your experience and reflection of this industry has clarified a lot of questions/concerns/doubts. @Leo Gura you said you're making a video about "Life Traps/Scams" soon, right? Will self-help industries be a part of this? It seems like there's a lot to be said there. Okay thank you. I really dislike the over-the-top obnoxious attitude that, for instance, Tyler pushes. Sure, he's an amazing human, has an incredible life-story, and is hyper-qualified as a social skills coach, bar none. But damn some aspects of him rub me the wrong way (e.g., the mansion, ramblings about his business, his hyper-stimulated state, etc.). Same thing for some of the other RSD coaches it seems. Dope, this looks great - thanks. . . . Personally, I'm already working with a dating coach but was checking out other sources for the future when my current program ends. The coach I'm working with is Jad T Jones, and his way of facilitating is online (very similar to the video calls @Nahm does, where he points out blindspots). He's a very down-to-earth and trustworthy guy overall. He has somewhat of an obsession over the notion of "success," but besides that he's compassionate and well-balanced. Never talks you down and his coaching is quite personalized.

He doesn't, but here's something powerful I learned from a dating coach recently. In seduction, you need to ask her qualifying questions when you're getting to know her for the first time. Qualify her. You want a certain girl, so show them that through your inquisitive interest. You say you're into philosophy and spirituality, right? That probably means you read a lot. Maybe say something like "Hey, you seem intelligent. What books do you read." Or maybe "Hey, you have a chill vibe; are you spiritual." By qualifying her early, you can rate her on your own personal scale and then decide if you want to date or not. Of course!

@blessedlion1993 Don't worry, just keep practicing. I couldn't understand what you described for a while, but now it makes sense. Once you drop the idea that you're a human who's doing things at a deep enough level, then you'll naturally start forgetting the idea of other people out there (because there aren't any ). If you practice regularly (meditation/binural beats) and take psychs periodically, you'll get it and be like OMG---how?!

1. Education: studying a boatload of different perspectives to gear up for an amazing life purpose in science/philosophy and to be a good human being 2. Psychedelics: used once per every two months as checkpoints and/or climatic moments in goal manifestation and spiritual growth 3. Seduction/attraction: everything from the approach to the bedroom (currently getting coached and it's like I'm starting to see and dance in the Matrix) 4. Health: cleaning up nutrition slowly over time and staying physically active through running to have long-standing vitality 5. Fun: this one is counter-intuitive and may sound misleading; I used to be overly serious, but am now letting go and learning how to make the areas that I'm working on fun for me so that the journey is more enjoyable, worthwhile, and attractive to anybody else who's watching (let's be real: who tf is gonna self-actualize if it looks like a grueling, torturous grind?!)

@Carl-Richard Hey, I enjoy talking to the dude in my bathroom mirror too

Jad is a fire seduction coach; very straight-forward and giving. If you apply what he says, you'll be in good shape. You'd be shocked to know how much your life could improve if you get a decent handle on the seduction/attraction realm, even if it is somewhat egotistical and less spiritual. Cheers! ~~

@peanutspathtotruth I've done work with him and have gotten the results. That's why I shared. I speak from direct experience

@peanutspathtotruth ?

It sounds like we have a similar childhood. I got bullied for years on end. Jad T Jones is pretty high integrity and a good source. Here's a few videos to start with. And my personal favorite:

Purge this crap out of your psyche. Yes, as someone who's been at it for about 2 years, I empathize; I get where you're coming from. But don't you think that this belief could be the cause, not just the effect, of what it's describing? In other words, your little mantra "life is not going my way" gets confirmed when there's data to support it, and so you dig deeper with it. After all, you said that in the past you've come to the same 'conclusion.' Yeah, personal development is hard. You're trying to become your highest self, meanwhile people are nay-saying you and you are likely doing the same to yourself. You get some progress and then come crashing back down and use that as evidence that you're no-good. But that's bullshit; you can develop, you just need the right mindset. As much as you probably don't want another self-help book, Psycho-Cybernetics is really good for purging negative beliefs out of your subconscious mind. I say give that a shot so you can kick this root belief that you can't develop. If you think that you can't, then you might as well not waste the time in trying. Good luck. <3

There's no "trick" to integrating perspectives and fitting them together neatly. It just takes time, trial, and error. For me, noticing and accepting deeply that 'reality is paradoxical' on some of my earlier psychedelic trips helped. Then learning and applying contradictory perspectives through lots of action made the difference (and still is). Bingo.

@Aaron p Good question! Maybe go out into nature and collect some and experiment with them. As a geoscientist with lots of field experience around 'crystals/minerals', I can't say that they put me into different states per se. BUT... hiking, observing rock formations, minerals, sediment, and the systems that they interact with has always imbued me with a sense of child-like wonder. I'm writing a book about it now. But in terms of a spiritual method, I cannot say that 'crystals' have an 'effect' on my state. I have my doubts.

@flowboy Helpful advice, thank you.

I live in a city of about 43,000 people. Most people will read that and say "But sir, that ain't no city!" I digress. For those with real-world experience in more limited locations, what's your advice? Admittedly, I've only just started practicing, having conversations with a few women so far. The vibe has been good and positive, but all of them have boyfriends. Also, I haven't tried night-game yet, only day-game. How would you change your behavior from day-game to better align with how women behave at night?