Osaid

Ego can only ever be thought. All "I" statements are thought. All "I" statements are limitations because they are divisions and separations. All separation is limitation. You are being aware of thoughts of limitation, like "I am this or that." You, as unbounded infinite awareness, are being aware of the thoughts, but not being in the thoughts. Awareness can't be limited by what it is aware of, because it can't be inside of what it is aware of. You can't read a story while being in the story. Trying to get rid of barriers is like trying to get rid of unicorns. You can't get rid of what is inside of imagination because only something which exists inside of imagination could do that. You are not someone who hunts unicorns. You are not someone who hunts down barriers. You can only realize that you aren't inside of imagination in the first place.

The dreaded E word. We don't use such terms around these parts.

All of which would have to be imaginary. Like imagining blue and yellow unicorns. Finite is thought. You are aware of the thought of being finite, like "I have incarnated into a body/unicorn." You are being the thought, not being in the thought. You can't be inside of what you are aware of. You can't read a story while being in the story.

Ego can't do any of that because unicorns can't do any of that. The ego is any story or statement you make of it. You can't read a story while being in the story. You are being aware of things, not being in what you are aware of. The idea that the ego can return is itself ego. There it is, right there, in the idea: "the ego will return."

Quote from the edited version: Meaning, there is no higher level, because higher level is in contrast to ego/body, which itself is imagination and thought. The entire thing is ego/imagination.

Only what is imaginary can be imagined. If the body is being imagined at a higher level, then the body and the higher level are both imaginary.

Ego is thought. Your statement relates itself to ego, therefore it confirms the existence of ego, therefore it is ego. Because it claims that the body relates to ego in some way. Therefore, the formulation in the sentence is itself is just thought and ego.

Can something you think die? Do unicorns die? If you think you're a body.

"It" will return "next time"? Interesting thought but no thanks. The unicorn population will be dearly missed.

Use hydroxyapatite toothpaste. Make sure to floss regularly, work your way up to it slowly if your gums are weak and bleed easily. Brush your tongue and also the top of your mouth. If it is a natural hydroxyapatite toothpaste, it is essentially going to be entirely edible, you don't have to rinse with water and it is recommended you don't (just spit all of it out without water) and I find that this helps keep the oral microbiome in check for longer (clean, no bad breath). The toothpaste I use has sorbitol and peppermint oil in order to mediate the oral microbiome, so maybe look for those. Control what you eat, make sure it is not overly sticky and carby. It should be something that your saliva easily breaks down and emulsifies. Essentially stick to whole foods. In the morning I eat 1 tbsp of butter and coconut oil and coat the inside of my gums and teeth with it, gives it a protective layer. I'll have 1 tbsp at the end of the day too. Let food be your oral medicine. Chew thoroughly and properly. Should be like baby food at the end. You can imagine you're chewing as if there is a rock or needle in the food. It's important that your saliva properly lubricates the food and mouth. Make sure your mouth isn't dry. Hydrate.

There is just the thought. The thought is equivalent to conditioning. Being aware of the thought "25 years of old conditioning" is the conditioning and subsequent identity which is felt currently, as the thought. You are being the thought, not being in the thought. 25 years can't be thought of, or experienced. 25 years is not caused by 25 years. 25 years only exists from the vantage point of "25 years after." 25 years is thought, in every sense. You are aware of the thought "25 years", you are not being in the thought. Thought is not caused by what happened 25 years ago. Conditioning is not caused by what happened 25 years ago. You cannot experience the cause of experience. Conditioning is felt currently, as the thought.

The idea that mind/ego has a paradigm and gets crushed, is itself mind/ego. Like saying: "How come unicorns keep coming back after having their paradigms crushed?" The idea of an ego, is ego. Don't confuse the map for the territory. Don't fight ghosts. Fighting ghosts is ego. Ego is a ghost. The idea of awakening, going here, doing this and that to rid yourself of ego, is itself ego. Conception. Separation. Division. Look at how the thoughts feel. Look at how the division feels. Look at who is being aware of thoughts and division. You are not in thoughts/division, you are being aware of it. You can't read a story while being in a story. There is no reason beyond reason. Reason is imagination. All is uncaused. You are uncaused. Reason is uncaused. Imagination is uncaused. Imagination can't cause anything therefore reason can't cause anything. You are aware of what is caused, therefore you are not in the cause.

Luckily, mind is not physical. Mind can "die" before body dies. "Body" is itself mind. "It" can happen without having to wait for death. It can happen right now.

❤️

You fail to realize that this is a koan you've created, which points to nothing. Sound of one hand clapping. Sound of a tree falling with no one around to hear it. Sound of God creating itself before it existed?

Nothing changed except the thought of it. Your thought of it. Your understanding of it. Which was "false" in the same way that there can't be a unicorn that understands things. There can't be "you" which "understands" or thinks of "it" or anything at all because there aren't any "things" aside from the thought of "things." Thought can't understand thought. A thought about things can't understand another thought about things. Recursion error. Catch-22. Onto the question of "what remains?" Assuming you also let go of the story that there is "you" which can "let go of stories", then what remains can only be... Nothing. No things. Not a thing. Infinity. Nothingness. Non-definitiveness. etc.

For real haha

∅

Sounds like vulnerable/covert NPD. Research vulnerable/covert NPD. BPD is often comorbid with NPD. The line between the two is quite thin actually, but I digress. If they fit vulnerable/covert NPD very well and you suspect them to have it, then the relationship is probably not salvageable since they are probably purposefully abusing you. Diagnoses aside, listen to how you feel and think above all else. You don't need to know what their diagnostics are to know whether you should stay or not. Do you feel constant anxiety around them? Do they gaslight? Do they manipulate? Do they instill a false hope that they will change or get better, only to contradict that sentiment time and time again? Do you want to experience all of those things for a significant period of your life time? I have to say though, everything you described is textbook covert narcissism. I am 100% convinced they have covert NPD.

They don't, obviously. He was just fooling us.

My favorite pity parties are the ones where you aren't allowed to reference the past or future.

? Not only that, but something other than what you are right now? I know what you mean. You mean the future. The you which isn't here with us right now. But when you get there, it won't include a body. And then we'll say "it's not infinite because it's excluding a body." Maybe infinity can't be "imagining other experiences"? Maybe your idea of infinity has trapped you in a logical catch-22 which points to absolutely nothing? And you chase that "nothing" like a hamster in an infinite wheel? Hahaha is this a threat to signify your annoyance or am I misinterpreting?

But not a body? Pointing out contradiction is "playing with words"? ? Right.

A limitation is a relation between two things. For something to be limited, it is limited by a thing. For limitation to occur, there is "Thing A", which is. And then "Thing B", which is not. The perception of a thing which is and a thing which is not, creates the perception of "limitation." But how can something which is not, Thing B, ever be experienced? It can't. It is non-existence. It must be imagined and inferred. Any single limitation you can think of, is simply just what you can think of. Mind. Imagination. Nothing else. Do you experience yourself as two? Are there two experiences? Are there two experiences which can relate and limit each other? Or do you simply divide it through your mind, and mistake it for yourself?