Richard Alpert

All symtoms have faded away days ago for me (unfortunately

"i find no enjoyment whatsoever from talking to people who im not good friends with is because i cant show my vulnerabilities to them" This is all based on shame. You shame some parts of yourself and you are afraid that people will see these parts in you. Honesty will help you a lot. Like "im a retarded idiot, with a small dick", Do you know how little people actually care about this if you say it with confidence. They actually appreciate it. You dont have to pretend to be anything. It´s just the cultural brainwashing that something is wrong with you. Youre fine. If you dont want anything from people or dont have a need to control their behaviour that also helps a lot. Wanting some specific reactions from people is manipulation. I come from a semi disfunctional family, where there were enough shaming and blaming.

ok, thanks for replying. I have been feeling quite peacefull mostly this day, very calm, but nothing crazy energy moving. Only in my head and brain i feel like something is little switched off compared to normal. But we see how it goes. I watched this again today. I have been doing Jans meditations in the last few months. Can kundalini arousal (energy movement) be something that only happens at once or is it usually an ongoing process once it´s arausd? Jan mentions most arousals are just energy trips and end at some point.

There is a lot a pros. Cons for me was that too much stress about eating, it took way too much time and energy for me because im lousy cook and i wanted to eat as clean as possible. I also ate a bit too little, because i have some stomach issues, i like to fast. But 80% vegan for me and 10-20% no vegan is what i found good for me.

okay. lets see how it goes. i feel quite fine at the moment. was able to sleep 1-2 hours in the morning

Thanks, that sounds almost identical what i felf. That´s why i stayed up some of the night because it got intense when i lied down and rest. It´s 8 am now, i dont think i slept last night at all. I could be wrong, im not 100%, but it was as if i rest and was awake at the same time. Hard to explain. The most intense went away at about 5pm. Now im here without sleeping and feeling quite awake. Usually i am very good sleeper Yea, i dont panic anymore and i very first considered this to be kundalini, that what prevented me to going total panic. I have actually read about kundalini quite a bit in the last few months so i connected the symptoms to it. I still can´t be 100% sure. We will see how this goes, was it just one night thing or continuing. So, your started in December. Do you feel the energy moving daily still?

i get that sensation in meditation quite often. it was very scary first, but not anymore.

The best book to read: Cupids poisoned arrow. I have read + 300 books in the last 7-8 years. I put this one in the top 5 for me probably. Althought i read good books, it´s very rare that a book gives a paradigm shift. I tried to quit porn and masturbation like 100 times. I really think now i have. Plus when i have sex (celibacy now) in the future it will be way different than previously.

Isnt bitcoin course stayed about the same lately? I dont know anything about investing, but i would be expecting much profit if you invest now, you missed the boat.

yep, food is pure chemistry.

And the best trip report award goes to... Azrael

Good story. Sounds like my first awakening. For me it was very short, the ego got scared and knew it was going to stop existing so it had to hold on and illusory "I" came back.

Damn, never knew Shinzen was a heavy stoner for a decade

Leo should do his next video on this topic.

If you are highly active like me then one meal a day is no no. Intermittend fasting is a little bit no no. I mean i like it, because my digestion isnt ready to take anything solid in the morning. fruits are fine. I did earlier intermittend fasting, skipping breakfast and eating lunch somewhere between 11.00-13.00 Nowadays i try to do that my last snack or meal is 8pm and then i eat something light (smoothie usually) somewhere between 8-10 am, depending at what time i wake up, but i dont eat the first thing in the morning. there is solid 12 hours not eating, i think the 16 hour is way too nazi what many suggest nowadays. I have respect for Siim Land although i dont agree everything he says, but he has pretty good knowing of nutrition. He´s advice is pretty good for people who are not highly active / athletes and want to be more healthy. I have done detoxes (and will do in the furute also), intermittend fasting and many many expiriments. But if someone has similar lifestyle to me you got to keep care that you get enough calories in. Probably the best line for health is to be in minimal -calories. But only minimal. Im 6,2 and maybe 175-180 pounds, losing weight is the last thing i want to do. The thing i agree with Siim is that you really dont need to eat every 3-4 hours.

I agree with this. I have done only one vippsana retreat, but the most profound experience was really feeling the demons and suffering. That is pretty much the whole idea. there is a reason you dont talk or use electronics in retreats.

I just shared my opinion. I am not saying im right or wrong. I like Aaron, but i dont agree everything he says, and it´s okay. He probably dont agree with me 100% either. It was Aaron who asked me if Leo would be interested. Aaron knows me. And Leo probably hasnt followed Aaron much, but i think they could strike a good conversation. You dont know anything about me. So you might keep your conclusions to yourself.

Hi Leo, Aaron sent me this comment: "Yes, that's right, thanks for the reminder. P.s. I was informed that my Leo video was on his forum by one of my viewers and then I noticed that you had posted it. I would like to speak with Leo one day soon as I think it would make for a great conversation, I've got a lot of respect for what he does and what he stands for albeit I omitted to say that in my video." I dont know if you are interested or have any time, but let me know if you are interested.

You are old enough to work and London is probably one of the top cities for work opportunities in the world. I might be wrong, but if there is not options in London i dont no where else would be.. You can go live in a commun or as a lodger. I would guess that can be done for few hundreds pounds / month, even in London. And if you are really conservative with food, maybe 10 pounds per day is enough. So lets say total expenses are somewhere around 700 pounds per month. I would guess that you can make 1000 pounds a month as a dishwasher or a cleaner. Even with your age and inexperience at work, i dont find it impossible that you could find 20k/year job for fulltime. Probably full time restaurant server can make something like this.

congratz man. From what i have understood 90 days can be some kind of mark for brain rewiring if you are addicted to pmo. But, you said you werent so probably no problem for you there.

Or you might lose motivation to do anything and you give 0 fucks about what you thought was your life purpose.

I have been following Aaron here and there for a long time. People should watch his video called pumping iron on shrooms Cool guy, but i think he has gone bit too deep in the left. He is not able to play at 2 different (no involment in the matrix) levels as Alan Watts would say. There is a reason he´s posting million videos on YouTube.

Life

Life for most people is tolerating life most of the time. Look at peoples faces you seen on the streets Chasing happiness is also a trap. Speaking from experience here. Think this: If you dont need anything from anybody or you dont compare yorself to other people. Can you be totally miserable? Can you forget the pick up stuff for a while and make your goal having a normal conversation with a women, where you dont want anything from her. I think guys are way too rushy to try making things move forward. When you start to know the other person, then move forward and if the chemistry is there it will happen naturally, you don´t need to force anything. Are your parents happy people and do they have good relationship? Mine do not, that´s why i made a decision little while ago im not going to talk them that often. I still love them. If you start to become more mindfull you will start to realize some patterns in human behaviour. These are all learned things and i believe they can be unlearned althought it´s hard and takes a LOT of work. You probably have friends who are not benefiting you at moving forward. I used to watch a lot of pua also, had bad friend/family relationships and was needy and disfunctional as fuck with women. Baby steps, step by step, keep working. Like, if you get 1-2% better every year with yourself, think how much that is in 10-20 years? Your outside relationships are a manifestation of your inner relationship.