trenton

@WelcometoReality if you mean emptiness that comes from not knowing, there is a mixture initially. Some crying and fear that is hard to explain followed by laughter. Otherwise, I can laugh at whatever comes to mind after darting off in many directions until I find something to laugh at. I don't need to be afraid of emptiness if my fears are not really justified.

Recently, I had two insights. The first was that all models are absurd because they are representations of reality and therefore not true except for the model itself. The second was that in order to be fully open minded, I am open to the possibility that everything i believe is wrong. This entails that I know nothing and true open mindedness comes from the stance of not knowing. In exploring the full implications and entire slippery slope of not knowing anything, I struggle to grasp the full significance of not knowing. It means I don't know what to do about knowing. I don't know if actualized.org is delusional or not and same with me. How can I tell if I am delusional or not with this glimpse, and if I am not what are the full ramifications of not knowing?

I wanted to mention the fear I constantly feel. When not knowing, I become very uncomfortable. This leads my mind to darting off in a million directions. When I find any one thing, my mind then runs on a loop repeatedly about the one point. After laughing for a bit, I realize that nothing is coming from this thought loop, and then I become threatened again causing the whole situation to reset. Good observation.

That makes a lot more sense. I keep assuming a right and wrong, but I don't know if there is such a thing. In fact this assumption causes a lot of suffering because there is always doubt when I assume that there is a right. Even if I could convince everybody I was right in the back of my mind I still have doubt about it, and I feel like I'm never right. This makes it pointless for me to debate people because I am only suppressing my own self doubt the whole time.