Kshantivadin

@Serotoninluv thank you for the lovely reply <3 @SOUL great insight. thank you.

I see now. It's hard. Would I truly suffer less if I were to accept everything? I could still cling to samsara and, while being aware of all the spiritual teachings, try to make the "best" life with the most of the "good things" and the least of the "bad things" and suffer less than if I were to go head on into loving everything without yet being enlightened? Surrendering reality itself could mean radically different life circumstances (for the worse) while I'm still unable to fully love which would create more suffering - because of the choices I make while being in a higher state of consciousness, mystical experience, divine love that's not yet "permanent". my dilemma is solved though, thank you leo. enjoy taking a break!