Kshantivadin

I'll write this prompt soon. I really like it. Visualisation and reflecting is super hard for me, yet I'm aware how important it is. Makes me feel bad . Contemplation, visualisation and inquiry can get you so, so far

Anjali mudra. Try it! Do it every day. Report back in a month or two

Kindle paperwhite. Minimalist. Can get any digital book. Has wikipedia, dictionaries (amazing for language learning + flash card option for learning those new words) which you just click and see the meaning or translation, and is thinner than any book. I got mine for $120.

This is you in no time

How about weekly check-ups? We make a template/writing prompt to see how we're doing each week, and keep ourselves accountable in the meantime? Sounds like an amazing project tbh.

@soos_mite_ah thank you! I think the main part for me is following up on things and being more proactive. My spiritual practice made me enjoy whatever outcome too much so I don't do the small extra push needed to turn something into reality - that's why I think setting this intention is going to make it work. I've already had some good results last night

I want to have amazing friends. I want to have an amazing social life as well. This might actually be one of the most important things in life for me. I've had a great friend in my life - and it was amazing. I spent some of the best moments of my life with him. Now, imagine multiple AMAZING friends. Imagine a rich social network. I want to make a blueprint on how to go about this. I don't want a mediocre social life and mediocre relationships most people settle down for. It seems I have to be strategic about this if I want good results. Now, going about this is complex. I've been contemplating the topic already and this is what I came up with: Stage 0 would be working on: social skills, the mental aspect, and structuring my life in such a way that facilitates socialising (logistics, tweaking my day so as to be in "state" most of the time mastering small-talk, observational statements, endless conversations optimising looks and energy Stage 0 is a prerequisite, but only to a certain point, from there on it's a constant process while working on the later stages. Stage 1: meeting people defining what people I want in my life, and how does one meet them making a concerted effort to put myself out there - in situations where i can attract those people having quality interactions (!) (that result in deep, intimate, joyful and enjoyable connections and people wanting me to be their friend) finding a way to efficiently screen people finding a way to effectively network My socialising up until now looked like this: I do meet people as I am a pretty social and outgoing guy, but most interactions don't go deeper, even with the people whom I want to be friends with and they feel the same. Too many distractions Stage 2: converting acquaintances into friends ??? definitely the hardest part I need to contemplate this more One thing I've noticed is that time spent together is a good predictor of relationships growing deeper. Important: providing value is probably one of the most important things here's where general personal development comes into play, but also being a leader, being proactive, being charismatic, becoming "the life of the party", and giving, giving, giving Stage 3: Differentiating between my "tribe" and a "social circle" Tribe being a tight-knit circle of best friends, and a social circle being anyone I can hit up to invite somewhere without it being weird (maybe I should expand the definition to include people I know and are receptive to me). A tribe probably requires way more effort to build up it is also pretty easy to fall out with acquaintances though, seeing how fragile the connections are in the first place maybe I should ditch the "amassing acquaintances" part and just focus on high-quality friendships and making myself be such a person that people would die to be friends with - that way, the acquaintances come themselves Stage 4: Putting it into action after a certain point, it would snowball TL;DR I was contemplating how does one have an amazing friend circle and an amazing social life so I contemplated the what's and how's. I would greatly appreciate your input on this topic and what is something you think I missed, if there is something you disagree with, and general advice regarding the endeavour. Let me know if there are any resources on how to go about this. I will be adding more things as I think about the topic further. Thank you very much and I hope you're having a great day.

@NoSelfSelf thx I also found a couple of vids, will link them later if anyone is interested in the same topic.

Interesting. Thank you for sharing. Sounds legit.

@aurum Thank you How do you think I can make friends with people who already have their needs met, or are way higher in "value" than I currently am? It seems to me that people who stick as friends are either similar to me, or lower in most areas of development. A good example to think about are people who are "popular" or famous in any respect, no matter how big or small. It seems to me you have to be somewhere around them to grab their attention. I lack better words to describe this.

This topic is becoming redundant. If you want to keep on masturbating but want the immense benefits, start practicing taoist techniques. Give up the petty genital orgasms which drain your energy for rejuvenating full-body orgasms. Stop feeding the victim. Take responsibility for your life. You have the power

Growing a strong backbone is the solution this. Fuck 'em.

I feel you on this bro. I'm one coffee away from being addicted again. It used to be like that with cigs as well.

By shedding the belief that you are doing something "wrong" by approaching. Switch into bringing value by approaching. They will be delighted that you went out of your way to talk to them. Fear is sometimes so strong that it projects stuff onto reality. You are allowed to approach - you are lovable. The cop within will hopefully go silent once you feel this. Then all that will remain is fear. And you know how fear is dealt with - with action.

Dance, photography, language, fitness, meditation. If I could become a master in just one of these areas, I think I would be happy with that. But we're shooting for the moon I forgot yoga. Imagine being a master of yoga

Push-ups + squats would be way more effective, or if you want them combined/cardio, burpees. Keep in mind that you need a pull movement as well, otherwise your body will be out of balance (push-ups being a push movement)

I have been practicing SR for years yet still haven't found a proper way to prevent wet dreams. There is no reason for me to want them. I can feel the consequences of it the next day despite it being way less harmful than wakeful releasing. It beats the point of "cultivation" for me if the semen is going to be released during the night. I derive no benefit from it whatsoever. There are certain guidelines which I adhere to, of course, yet there are so many factors. It's truly frustrating. Example: yesterday I ate beans+tofu for dinner (hearthy meal) and of course I have a wet dream. Sometimes a full colon presses other organs. At least a full bladder is easier to manage. Hopefully a veteran will stumble upon this thread. Thank you!

Notice the assumptions - assumption of a mechanism, assumption of something "built into" something. It's not a question of harmfulness or harmlessness - it's a question of purpose, and a question of what works. Retaining works. As time passed, abstaining expanded into retaining. and now the scope of retention has broadened into the bardo of dream as well.

Yes. But I'm good on all fronts except the dream-world. It's a sense of urgency, respect and striving. On the contrary, abstaining for a prolonged period of time forces one to face one's own neuroses, as a result of not having a way for the energy to get out the easy way.

I am not going to expand on this. I'll drop this link though: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/

True. The French call orgasms le petit mort (minor death). Many Eastern traditions believe that semen contains vital life-force. From personal experience, abstaining from ejaculation is superior in every regard. Porn is unhealthy. If you choose to masturbate, do it without porn. Look into it. Listen to your body.

I have no clue how I missed your thread. I searched the whole forum. I have tried and practice most of these methods. Wet dreams don't go away. They definitely are not full, charged orgasms and ejaculations, but are still detrimental. It happens to me 3x a week on average... A couple of days ago I had my first true sleeping NEO. Thank you!

Berserk is originally a manga. Great example of mastery and excellence within a field.

I think studying the Suttas requires a certain level of practice and also devotion before being able to get the most out of them. People can also burnout pretty easily that way, it seems. Walpola Rahula - What the Buddha Taught + Bhante G - Mindfulness in Plain English, Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness would be a good intro to studying for me. Then it's all about practice The Suttas are mostly addressed to particular brahmins or Bikkhus regarding a certain element of practice.