Robert

There are 2 big obsticles I'm facing right now. One is about tomorrow, the other is about December 12th. I HOPE I overcome both obsticles, and soon. I HOPE! However, hope may not be enough. We all know this story. We wish and dream and hope only to be let down in the end. That's why I still have to be taking action, of course. But also prepare to be let down regardless of how hard I try. And I guess I have to admit that I created these obsticles. I was negligent. Earlier in this journal I wrote that I rarely fuck things up, but what I'm going through right now is due to me fucking things up. I'm disappointed in myself... I can't believe I made such stupid mistakes... Maybe I'll have to find an entire new strategy to navigate this "place." Maybe I'll have to leave with no treasure or Holy Grail. Maybe I'll die before I get out! I don't know!!! We'll just see... ?

Please, bring me good fortune tomorrow. ? I need it... Tomorrow...

I don't know exactly what lies ahead of me but I will keep fighting the good fight! I am 100% responsible for this universe, after all...

Even though I will probably lose almost 20 more points, I don't want anyone to think that I will just be sitting around doing nothing. I'm still here in The Dark Woods! I will still be working on my life purpose heavily, and I also will be remaining hopeful for the 200-day challenge. I don't care if I end up with -20 points, it would still be possible for me to make them up. I might still have a chance! I might still have a fucking chance!!! There is always that small tiny little chance!!! ?

12/12/18 ? Fear Him by Vulpes-Ibculta on DeviantArt. But who is to fear? I am responsible.

It's actually 12/12/18 that I believe is the deciding day. I will probably end up with -22 points by then and decide to quit the 200-day challenge. And maybe I'll die on that day. ?

I know what's subjective, but if you put things into context those programs/courses would be a waste for OP. And I think the only reason you were able to improve in authenticity is because of how you uniquely applied what you learned. Even though I haven't been through any of those products, I simply do not believe that RSD teaches true authenticity in their products, I'm sorry. @XYZ You're getting a lot of things wrong. You should really try better to understand the wisdom in my advice to OP. But if you're happy right now then I'm happy for you.

The 200-Day Challenge Day 8 Worked on mind, body, and life purpose +1 point -4/200 points earned 3/3 free days remaining

Even if you don't find the treasure or the Holy Grail, you still have your memories of journeying through the woods. You still have a story to tell! You're one of the few people who were brave enough to even try to search The Dark Woods, and you have experienced things which will stay with you forever. Experiences that made you stronger, experiences that you can still be proud of. Don't feel bad.

I'm scared for 12/13/18. We'll see what happens. Maybe it'll make me fail The 200-Day Challenge. I fucking hope not. All I can do is hope at this point...

The 200-Day Challenge Day 7 Worked on mind, body, and life purpose +1 point -5/200 points earned 3/3 free days remaining

And we're telling you it's not JUST a strong desire, it's a need. Human beings need love and belonging. You can't "have" anything more than anything else (this includes both people and honey.) It's all one. Nope. I'm not confusing anything. I know how the universe and human beings work. The physical body can't transcend its needs. If it stops getting food for too long or it gets stabbed in the wrong spot, it will cause the organism to die. It's no different with love and belonging (even if those needs are higher on Maslow's hierarchy.) I always develop myself by putting myself in painful and uncomfortable situations. I think that's the best way to do personal development. However, I make sure I do it healthily and for the benefit of the universe, not to run away from the truth like you're doing. You also are ignorant of how emotions work and what you just said proves that you're suppressing things. You should NOT just "get out" of emotional states like you described. Emotions such as anger are there to get you to ask questions about the situation so you can continue on in the right direction. You have this belief that you can't or aren't supposed to get angry or bitter or whatever with relationships/sex, but that's bullshit. You are free to be angry at whatever you want. Use the emotion properly. It's trying to tell you something. And it also is not about getting an ideology about relationships. I never said relationships are the solution to alleviate all loneliness, etc. Just aknolwedge the fact that you will need support in life. You can run away to your bedroom or a cave somewhere to try to escape, but you will not become your best version or serve the universe that way. You need both a give AND take attitude. Think holistically. I'm probably way more of an oddball than you and yet I still know I need to seek what I want as hard as I can in order to get it. This is how success works. That's why 99% of people including OP fail and never find what they are seeking. We need to take massive action in our lives!!! And BTW, those people at those social activities are most likely not friends, they're just acquaintances. Are they actually there when you NEED support? Are they growing with you or just engaging in meaningless chit-chat with you? I'm happy for you. But don't listen to Leo about the physical/emotional suffering. He also gets this relationship stuff wrong and seems to look at it too much on the surface. He goes deeper than most self-help teachers, but he still barely scratches the surface in his vids which is why I avoid his videos these days. This is because of your low level of development. You get uncomfortable way too easily. I'm not even telling you to repair everyone or look to get repaired by everyone. You're viewing it that way because YOU'RE acting too selfish. Just see everyone as already connected with you and acknowledge that we are all in this life TOGETHER. This is how life works. Life requires us all to cooperate in order to keep growing.

The 200-Day Challenge Day 6 Did not work on mind, body, or life purpose -3 points Today was a horrible day. Something really scary happened. I hope it doesn't make me fail this challenge. ? -6/200 points earned 3/3 free days remaining

@Anirban657 That's not something you want to read an entire book for. Just search the internet for info. Also keep in mind that your way of getting capital will likely be very unique to you.

@Elisabeth That's a good idea, but you're right about needing to be more specific. Especially for something that abstract. I would say find the biggest problems people have in life that could be solved using your domain, then work from there.

@Dan Arnautu Don't encourage him to waste money on PUA stuff. It won't help him. What he needs is authentic connection.

No, you're suppressing things and making excuses. It doesn't matter if you don't see them as needs, the fact is that they are needs. Either you can delude yourself and be blissfully ignorant of them until they come back to bite you in the ass one day, or you can look at how life actually works and take 100% responsibility and fix your problem ASAP. You care, trust me. That's not how happiness works. Ever heard of babies being born addicted to crack? They had no control over that. The situations you face are not uncomfortable, painful, stressful enough, I can tell. If they were, you wouldn't be saying what you are now. Also, you can't come only from a place of giving. That's not wise at all. Acknowledge the fact that when you go into a relationship YOU WANT TO TAKE SOMETHING. Everyone does. Be honest. Face the truth. Fucking face it. I have a way worse situation than you based on what you wrote. But either way, EVERYONE IS NEEDY. Everyone has needs. The people who would put you down for being needy are hypocrites. The second they lose their family or friends or partner, they will become like the people they put down. Don't listen to the idiots who say enlightenment makes you non-needy. It doesn't. You will still need to eat, feel safe, even self-actualize, etc. My advice might not work for you, but I would tell you to be completely honest at all times. This always pays off for me. I, personally, do not care about someone labeling me as needy. Right now I have a great friend and he doesn't seem to think I'm needy. Some people percieve me as needy, others don't. Just find people who you click with. I'm sorry I can't give you advice on friendship right now, but here are 2 very good and accurate videos on friendship: Look at the important points that were made. This isn't helpful. All you're doing is repeating the same thing that has been said a million times and hasn't worked for like 99% of people. If he could "just notice," I'm pretty sure he would JUST do it. He's not stupid. Shin, needs have nothing to do with stage of development. Everyone alive at every stage has needs, and for all humans they are basically the same. OP clearly doesn't have everything he needs. Like I said above, enlightenment doesn't make you non-needy.

Days left for The 200-Day Challenge by month: 29 days for December 2018 (including today) 31 days for January 2019 28 days for February 2019 31 days for March 2019 30 days for April 2019 31 days for May 2019 30 days for June 2019 31 days for July 2019 25 days for August 2019 TOTAL: 266 days

Actually, no. These are not just my go-to life purpose songs. They are my two favorite songs of all fucking time!!!!!!

POSSO FARCELA AND THE CLIMB These are my two go-to life purpose songs. If I'm having trouble, one of these often help me. I love to sing along. Posso Farcela is the Italian version of Go the Distance. I like it just as much as the English one. Posso Farcela!!! CE LA POSSA FARE!!! ? There's not a single time I went to this song while feeling down on my LP and it didn't bring me back up. Not a single fucking time. Keep the faith!!! IT'S ALL ABOUT THE CLIMB!!! ?

The 200-Day Challenge Day 5 Worked on mind, did not work on life purpose or body -3 points -3/200 points earned 3/3 free days remaining

Leo mentioned something like this in the life purpose course: in The Dark Woods you will sometimes be either too excited to go to sleep or too scared to go to sleep. That happened to me the other night. The journey through the woods can be fucking intense!!! It all depends on how deep you decide to go.

Correction: I already did work on my mind today. But I will not be doing work on body or life purpose, most likely.

Today is day 5 of The 200-Day Challenge, however, it is very likely that I will not be doing anything today or tomorrow, so I will be losing 6 points. There was an issue today that came up, and it is forcing me to act now. But everything is fine. After that I don't believe I'll get messed up again. The challenge has already given me amazing results. I am already seeing amazing results in all areas I'm focusing on because I'm working hard and seriously and I'm focused. Even though my number of points will be in the negatives soon, I'm not perturbed by this overall. I will make this days up and continue to get results. The long-term is what I'm mostly concerned with, not the short-term.

The 200-Day Challenge Day 4 Worked on mind and body, did not work on life purpose -3 points I fell asleep in the middle of life purpose work, lol. This was due to terrible sleep the night before. Woke up to a disturbance and couldn't go back to sleep that night, so was tired throughout the day. Was able to work on my mind before the nap and my body after the nap, but I was only able to get a couple of hours of life purpose work done. 0/200 points earned 3/3 free days remaining