John Paul

What is an alien? Use your direct experience of aliens. Don’t think too many thoughts about what seems to be true... question what seems to be true until you’re just paying attention to what’s happening right now

I've heard that I should wait at least 2 weeks between journeys. I've heard that I should wait at least 2 days between micro-doses. How should I strategize (schedule) my trips if I want to use micro-doses (a third or so of a strong gel LSD tab) and regular doses (1 LSD tab or maybe 2). Is a schedule itself unwise versus intuition? Could I take a micro-dose every three days and then a regular dose every 2 1/2 weeks if the dose is 2 days after the micro-dose? Also I want to stay mostly on topic but is there a maximum dose of LSD one shouldn't go over or is it again an intuitive thing? I don't expect anyone to have any answers that I don't but I'm looking for some quick advice because I just got my hands on a few tabs and a source and I want to begin taking them since I'm excited for this new year.

@Leo Gura, you made me very curious in your "..Facets Of Awakening.." video when you mentioned different psychedelics hitting different notes. I think the reason is because you said something like "..it's a complicated subject for another time". Since my last and next journey will be induced by LSD, can you tell me what LSD is really getting to the bottom of? What "notes" is it more likely to be striking? Maybe this will be helpful information because I can use it to set clearer intentions and with contemplation and a high dose hopefully I can grasp a deeper realization of a certain facet of what is. Or maybe not, thoughts Leo or anyone?

Today I took an acid gel tab with no intentions but to contemplate and hopefully specifically find out "who am I? What are these different versions of the true self I hear about? etc". I realized that I'm pure imagination happening nowhere, endless stories and possibilities in all directions/planes, the container or space, masculine and feminine and basically all people and relationships are me. The part of me that "I am" when I'm confused is just a confused "part" of me. Those who are not presently or not fully living as me are just confused. Confusion of being separate or just identifying with the skin and under (not including the imagination in my head) due to fear of harm (naturally) is what causes all suffering. I integrated many of the personalities of the world like being a little girl (I"m a man) and being a woman, being bi-sexual or whatever label, basically a lot of integration of pure femininity. I am this great awareness (masculine) and all this crazy, random, sometimes indescribable shit that happens within the space of awareness (or infinite mind?) (feminine). I am everything.... already this is all slipping away as it does in a way usually with my psychedelic trips and I'm writing this as I can't sleep. I realized that all of history is imaginary and that I'm imagining it now (while at the time or shortly before some crazy edm shit came on my headphones and made me realize I'm aliens, I am future. A lot of this future/past/feminine/masculine stuff was just so cheesy the way I presented it to myself. The whole thing was cheesy. I kept imagining this thin layer of curtain with some big secret behind is and like this playful spirit of "uh-oh! what's behind? what's behind?" Saying like: "Don't you see that it's right now all the time? This isn't some super amazing thing, you've always been infinite" But obviously this insight was coming to me while super high and now the curtain is mostly closed and it doesn't feel quite as simple. I am learning slowly what the work is. The work is not identifying with ANYTHING. Not clinging to ANY ideas of me, mine etc. or what should be. I learned that craving isn't about what is being craved for (or at least not on this trip). Craving is about wanting to move forward (in some "direction") and then after moving where I wanted to "go", realizing that I never moved at all. I realized that sometimes I try to not control myself...like by eliminating addictions or whatever, trying to break bad habits etc. But I realized how tricky I am and by trying to hard to improve I can get caught in a control game. I wrote: Don't TRY to not control yourself (trippy right?); Don't try to control yourself; we are alone; we are complete; Life purpose = simply ask = how can I help? I realized what contemplation really is and how powerful it is or what it really is, it's like a state or that's where it takes you.. I guess it leads to more insights. It's obvious that this is what contemplation is but I truly experienced it. When I was my true self I still wondered what god was so I don't know if I got the god facet down. Anyway.... so much goes on in these trips it's hard to write it all let alone remember (I feel a smidge bad for not putting more effort into remembering/serious note-taking). Also I realized that death is a complete illusion because I am not the body obviously now. I've been here before. It's scary to me because it's like "Aha!!! I REMEMBER! Here I was looking for something brand new but I REMEMBER who I am." and it's like... how did I get confused AGAIN? I know my life is very disorganized and I need a lot of help strategizing and getting better at studying, integrating, practicing meditation more often or yoga or whatever. But still.....the ultimate truth is the ultimate truth....I don't want to let it slip away.... wait.. slip away? How can I slip away from MYSELF? Yet it seems to slip away with the confusion of the outside world. It's crazy to listen to someone who is me talking as if they are not me, including myself sometimes (especially in the future when those times of more intense confusion will probably arise for me personally again). Please send me loving kindness or healing whenever this is read to all of you skilled magical people reading this. And to Leo.... I know you aren't a person Leo. I know we are one. But I want to say I love actualized.org I hope that actualized.org can keep others as well as myself on a journey without any ideology/dogma/attachment toward creating a me with less suffering. You are a kind, compassionate, loving man. You are so serious in the videos but when I go to the truth and think about them I laugh out loud! How much more confusing would this path be without you.. you are a SAINTLY man. I love your work, I love you! I have a serious problem with my trips that needs addressing. I don't want to write it out now so I will post it tomorrow morning because I want the good stuff in my mind as I lay down to try and sleep. To all of those reading, BE FREE! Let go of EVERYTHING, nothing can remain!