Thought Art

Yeah, Personally I love my kindle. The amount of books available on it is great, and theres even monthly netflix like subscription you can get called Kindle Unlimited. On Kindle you can: 1. highlight 2. Check definitions 3. Wikipedia at your finger tips 4. Minimal, light, convenient

What is your life purpose? What are you interested in learning? What are you sticking your neck out for? Why are you creating what you are? What is the most important thing to do in the world right now?

@Eren Eeager Who are these people? I feel those things. Today I had a pretty big ego backlash.

@Leo Gura Leo, Have you known anyone to puke, or fall into a deep depression followed by 5Meo? Also are people highly vocal and loud during?

I know you mentioned this and my vape is much hotter than yours going to 460. You vape yeah?

So, can you vape this stuff?

Hey, (I do a tonne of inner work in this area of my life. I am venting here because I am looking for people who can offer their advice. I am not looking for people to tell me I am wrong or something.) So I was in a relationship with a girl. I fell super in love with her, we started a business. She is a reiki master, kundalini yoga teacher and graphic designer. We met at a time when I was still pretty early on in my personal growth journey. I find that as soon I get into relationships my heart starts to ache. I am pretty sure theres tonnes of scars and unprocessed emotional energy. Its like when I get into a relationship and I start to experience love its followed by extreme heart ache, paranoia the person is cheating on me (likely a mixture of projections because I cheated in the past), fear of abandonment, as well as extreme anger and frustration. I knew this girl was worth it and I thought that because she was a healer that I could work through this stuff. I tried I really did. I started doing the yoga she showed me, I dedicated entire journals to venting the paranoia and anger and distrust. I was honest with her. Also at this time fears that maybe I am a homosexual came up. But thats not right because if anything I am bisexual I just haven't been in a relationship with another male. Anyway in the end the pain was just too great. She was great and patient and understanding. We went on and off. She was literally okay if while we were dating I had sex with men if I wanted to. But, I wouldn't because I wasn't okay with her having sex with other people (she never said she would, she said she would not) Anyway, we were on and off. I never stopped loving this girl but for whatever reason when we were together it was so painful. But when we were friends it was bearable. We pretty much spent every single day together because we were friends and we were working on a business together. However, at some point even while we were dating she moved back in with her ex- boyfriend. She claimed he wasn't there and that he was just living at his parents (Bullshit). I have no idea if that is true or false. Anyway, once were were 'friends' (I still loved her but I know I have work to do on myself and it was just too much for me) she finally "Got back with him" at some point and instead of telling me she started posting videos USING THE EQUIPMENT I LET HER to film them hanging out in the woods. And It was just fucking obvious she was hiding shit from me for a long time. Long story short I find out she is with him, get super pissed because I had discovered she was lying and now I have no idea if she was cheating on me or what. The icing on the cake is now we work for the same non-profit, I have to write her cheques and she does all the graphic design. Overall the entire experience is full of tasty inner work, observing my neurotic patterns, immense suffering and discomfort etc etc. I've been pretty much over it the last few months. However, I have been doing Yoga and I think i am unblocking energy in me that has not been processed. Tonight I felt immense rage. IMMENSE. Luckily I have a great relationship with my boss, I was able to tell him I was deregulated (I also have ADHD which means I have trouble regulating strong emotions especially anger) I did a Warrior Flow Yoga. Recentered myself, and now I am writing this. I am going to begin some self inquiry and journaling, read and go to bed. Thanks for reading, curious if you relate at all, have any books or advice. I already have read a lot on relationships, transference etc and I have books on my kindle I am working towards on my reading list for trust, self esteem etc. OKAY!!

After a long time dealing with working with my ex and not being able to move past the toxicity in the relationships I decided to leave the non-profit I work for.I can't tell if it was self destructive behaviour or not. Other than her being there the place have been nothing but good. Job opportunity, skill development and mentor ship. The door is still open and I can return whenever to keep involved. But, I can't do it while she is there because I get filled with rage. I know there are other opportunities out there. It's just, not I don't know where to go.

For those of you who journal, or would like to but don't know where to start. What is your biggest frustration?

is it 11? mean kid without whistle = 3 ahh didn't see I was late to the party! Good work everyone!

Life Purpose Course: hehe thus no longer wondering what do to hehe much love

(I read it and I understand. Just noting you looking for psychiatrist) Try doing some research and see if you can afford one of the many online therapy sessions that are available! Good luck on your journey.

@Serotoninluv Those Eyes

Saying thank you to all the moderators and Self Actualizers on the forum. Thank you to Leo all the eye opening and entertaining videos, booklist and the Life purpose course. So far, though I still have a lot of work to do on myself this has changed my life for the better.

Hmm, I think text is inherently a hard and limited way to communicate. So far I like the Forum, but there is often a sense of conflict or something. Idk. I'll be sticking around though for awhile. I like what Actualized.org stands for and this is giving me a much needed sense of community.

@Anna1 Thanks. It feels right.

@Justin Michael Is that you? That's one of the nicest photos I've seen!

I like the book: Your Magic Powers Of Persuasion By Vernon Howard. Great book, addresses all kind of great points in regards to social interaction. Isn't really about manipulation but how to embrace and find your power in social situations that you already have. He makes lots of great counterintuitive points.

Thanks for sharing this. I really like this guy. However, I am not a doctor and I don't know the science. interesting.

coooool

I like leo!

Best Live Rock band in the world ! imo

He is well read in Ken Wilber apparently, cool guy

It should speak to you, and you should be the authority on it. Maybe start by researching and making a collection of 100 possible name? Good luck!

@StarStruck New member long time viewer ahah I think I have seen 99% of them.