Thought Art

@Kshantivadin The problem is, your far enough to see through some veils, but not far enough to see the benefits. You are free to choose your own spiritual path. I recently participated in an online festival from Ista Temple Arts called "Spiritual, sexual, Shamanic" and it was the most profound spiritual experience that integrated and showed me what spiritual sexuality is. and it is key. Integration is vaste. Once you see the ego die enough times, you have the map built up enough, you observe enough you can create any experience you want. Leo is right about paranormal experiences. I experienced shamanic possession and a vision quest.

@acidgoofy Can Confirm it works nicely, give time for control. I don't think I have completely broken through though more experimentation is needed.

Us Vs Them is duality, and often the dialogue for Us vs Them, because it is built on identity and not facts, truth, and nuance makes it hard for either party to get what they want. For example, if you think the wage gap exists because you are a feminist and therefore its because of patriarchal tyranny. and if you don't agree your a sexist, white elitist.... While if you were a feminist who was not in this With us or against us mentality you would be open and aware to different opinions without identifying others as against you based on difference in structure of opinion. You would be open to mutli-variance analysis on the pay wage gap and be open to exploring the subject in a way that you couldn't if you were too busy being caught up in identity politics. Us Vs Them: Content Vs Structure.

Are you saying that developing our awareness is counter-intuitive and to increase it we must BE not force or try? Even though, I've noticed in my direct experience a bit of Try and a bit of BE works best

I used a Herb vape, so the temperature is a lot lower than if I use a pipe and flame. I found I could vape it until a point I am at my limit... turn off the vape.. Die, and then keep hitting the vape and maybe go through it again.

There are a few different types of psychedlics I have discovered: 5MeO-MET, 5MeO-DPT, 5MEOMiPT, theres various types of simple tryptamines, and various kinds of 4-HO... Basically I have realized there tonnes of different chemicals out there. A whole landscape to explore.

Man, amazing to hear your take on the trip. I was inspired to leave my trip here too. I look further to reading future reports. and sharing! --- Okay, So did MeO for first time yesterday. 1. Vaped (460f) 2. Approximately 3mg I've been slowly increasing the heat, and on other trips increasing the dosage. I've experienced ego death 2 or 3 times now. I loved it I do admit that When I feel it speeeeeeeeeeding up my ego will just in and say 'Okay thats enough there boyo just sit here and observe. You have lots of time to tread further later on' then I just relax and die. I know there is further to go. I love the happiness that 5Meo sparks in me, I took it while outside in a very low dose, in a place I know is safe because I write there often. It for me was a sacred space. I love it. It feels clean, clear, sparks love in the heart, allows you to experience ego death. Fuller smooth bodied insights. ... No god yet. But, it is a smooth, amazing experience that I recommend to everyone vaped, in low dosage. It could easily be used for pleasure. Part of me felt sad. Part of me wanted a more profound change to my experience and my thoughts. I wan't more insights. I want to develop my vision, and transecend fear and live in creation. Perhaps though, I know 5Meo isn't going to show me this. But, could I think help me develop a cleaner system to build from.

'No, it couldnt be... I can't be love' God- 'It is'

Happy Birthday Leo!

@Leo Gura Just got some 5meo, but its so tiny! I mean I knew it was only 250 mgs but ahaha yeah. I don't have a scale yet...

I recommend the fabulous App. It's in your head, energy, and overall state of being. It has nothing to do with external stuff, and money. Which is great because it means you have the power. https://www.thefabulous.co/

I am thinking about doing it soon, however with Covid I won't be likely to see anyone else, like a sitter. Sitter seems like a good Idea. Would it be SUPER dangerous to do it solo? I'll start small and work my way up, take proper precautions other than.

I found a very powerful quote I think sums up how I feel about Leo's presentation style, those who are making videos to judge him, and the maze like web of other view points about what truth is that exists out there: "A good man's outward appearance and actions sometimes may appear cruel and violent and his expression egotistical, yet he possesses a pure heart within. On the other hand, a false prophet may express an apparent high degree of outward humility and gentleness, but inwardly his sole objective is self-gain. A false prophet in order to thrive, is dependant on the approval of the public, whereas a good man lives in harmony with himself-he neither seeks nor needs external approval. The natural way of Thick Face, Black Heart is beyond human manipulation, beyond petty standards of human judgement. When one acts in harmony with the universal Will, one's actions are aligned with the good of all and benefit of all. You are neither self-righteous nor eager to please; nor are you seeking approval. In action, you are swift, competent, and dispassionate. In yielding, you are unabashed and have no concern for other's judgments. In conquering, you are effective and can be ruthless. In action and nonaction, you are changeless. You are a true Thick Face, Black Heart practitioner. " -Chin Ning Chu, Black Face Thick Heart

I don't trust her, I can't tell if she is a psychopath or what?

@Leo Gura MY GOD.

Hey Guys, I keep finding myself in this loop when I become vulnerable with someone. Whether trying to make friends, or date someone. Especially people or the opposite sex, which makes sense because of the trauma that is there. My brain starts running in circles, I over think everything I say. 'Oh know what if the think this' It's like I have two competing voices and I try to explain what is happening inside me to people but it only scares them away. I haven't found a therapist. It is likely due to trauma I developed as a kind, and while in young relationships. I developed these needy emotional centres or egos. I think I started dating too young, and got into toxic relationships. It's like I am stuck in a pattern. My heart burns and is scared, but I have yet to have any relationship survive long term because of this fear of connection, or connection repelling energy that is within me. The heart feels like it is being stabbed, the same vulnerability is stopping me from diving deep into my business and creativity. Healthy Relationships is one of my top values, however, I don't have many that are deep. It's saddening. I know I can improve and I have improved massively with my extreme social anxiety over the past few years. Grateful for this part of the forum. Wondering if anyone has similar experience, wants to talk to me with about this kind of stuff? Anyone down to talk about shadow work?

@from chaos into self Thank you! I've seen a few difference therapists. I will persist in different methods, and there are books I have yet to read as well.

Yeah, Personally I love my kindle. The amount of books available on it is great, and theres even monthly netflix like subscription you can get called Kindle Unlimited. On Kindle you can: 1. highlight 2. Check definitions 3. Wikipedia at your finger tips 4. Minimal, light, convenient

What is your life purpose? What are you interested in learning? What are you sticking your neck out for? Why are you creating what you are? What is the most important thing to do in the world right now?

@Eren Eeager Who are these people? I feel those things. Today I had a pretty big ego backlash.

@Leo Gura Leo, Have you known anyone to puke, or fall into a deep depression followed by 5Meo? Also are people highly vocal and loud during?

I know you mentioned this and my vape is much hotter than yours going to 460. You vape yeah?

So, can you vape this stuff?

Hey, (I do a tonne of inner work in this area of my life. I am venting here because I am looking for people who can offer their advice. I am not looking for people to tell me I am wrong or something.) So I was in a relationship with a girl. I fell super in love with her, we started a business. She is a reiki master, kundalini yoga teacher and graphic designer. We met at a time when I was still pretty early on in my personal growth journey. I find that as soon I get into relationships my heart starts to ache. I am pretty sure theres tonnes of scars and unprocessed emotional energy. Its like when I get into a relationship and I start to experience love its followed by extreme heart ache, paranoia the person is cheating on me (likely a mixture of projections because I cheated in the past), fear of abandonment, as well as extreme anger and frustration. I knew this girl was worth it and I thought that because she was a healer that I could work through this stuff. I tried I really did. I started doing the yoga she showed me, I dedicated entire journals to venting the paranoia and anger and distrust. I was honest with her. Also at this time fears that maybe I am a homosexual came up. But thats not right because if anything I am bisexual I just haven't been in a relationship with another male. Anyway in the end the pain was just too great. She was great and patient and understanding. We went on and off. She was literally okay if while we were dating I had sex with men if I wanted to. But, I wouldn't because I wasn't okay with her having sex with other people (she never said she would, she said she would not) Anyway, we were on and off. I never stopped loving this girl but for whatever reason when we were together it was so painful. But when we were friends it was bearable. We pretty much spent every single day together because we were friends and we were working on a business together. However, at some point even while we were dating she moved back in with her ex- boyfriend. She claimed he wasn't there and that he was just living at his parents (Bullshit). I have no idea if that is true or false. Anyway, once were were 'friends' (I still loved her but I know I have work to do on myself and it was just too much for me) she finally "Got back with him" at some point and instead of telling me she started posting videos USING THE EQUIPMENT I LET HER to film them hanging out in the woods. And It was just fucking obvious she was hiding shit from me for a long time. Long story short I find out she is with him, get super pissed because I had discovered she was lying and now I have no idea if she was cheating on me or what. The icing on the cake is now we work for the same non-profit, I have to write her cheques and she does all the graphic design. Overall the entire experience is full of tasty inner work, observing my neurotic patterns, immense suffering and discomfort etc etc. I've been pretty much over it the last few months. However, I have been doing Yoga and I think i am unblocking energy in me that has not been processed. Tonight I felt immense rage. IMMENSE. Luckily I have a great relationship with my boss, I was able to tell him I was deregulated (I also have ADHD which means I have trouble regulating strong emotions especially anger) I did a Warrior Flow Yoga. Recentered myself, and now I am writing this. I am going to begin some self inquiry and journaling, read and go to bed. Thanks for reading, curious if you relate at all, have any books or advice. I already have read a lot on relationships, transference etc and I have books on my kindle I am working towards on my reading list for trust, self esteem etc. OKAY!!

After a long time dealing with working with my ex and not being able to move past the toxicity in the relationships I decided to leave the non-profit I work for.I can't tell if it was self destructive behaviour or not. Other than her being there the place have been nothing but good. Job opportunity, skill development and mentor ship. The door is still open and I can return whenever to keep involved. But, I can't do it while she is there because I get filled with rage. I know there are other opportunities out there. It's just, not I don't know where to go.