Thought Art

I think when we are too zoomed up things look bad, but God has a much longer term vision

@fopylo Important to listen to yourself, maybe talk therapy or journaling is called for as well. I personally think Qigong is very grounding as it will help your nervous system regulate the higher state you are now in.

@BipolarGrowth No, we see your behaviour. Your spiritual ability may correlate with higher degrees of openness and neuroticism which makes sense to me, especially when we are young and trying to make sense of the world. IMO, you are both young and immature. We aren't saying you aren't improving, or are capable of living a constructive life. We are saying, keep working on yourself, be responsible and mature. Chronically smoking weed, doing psychedelics when you are already struggling and are ungrounded can be throwing gas on the fire. Psychedelics can increase openness radically, which when we are all ready so open without proper grounding can lead to more delusion of grandure, meaning etc when in reality we are just SOOO open we aren't really grounded in a practical actuality that comes from deep inner work, journaling, meditation, Yoga, talk therapy, contemplation, reading self help books. To me these practices and sobriety make up 90% of spiritual effort. While 10% is substance use. Sure, that 10% might make up a good chunk of your deep results but that only works with a strong grounded psyche and practice imo. I've seen this TED talk and agree that different brain types require different ways of developing mastery. That doesn't take away from many of the points made here. This TED Talk also isn't your guys unique experiences. It's just some ideas. Be mature, be honest and ground yourself. Just keep doing that. We will all have our own paths to mastery depending on our unique circumstance. Also, be wary when you KNOW you have all these diagnoses in defending yourself against people who don't. IMO, we tend not to see ourself accurately when we can't see reality clearly. I understand wanting to be understood. But, also... be humble I think. It's all love baby, no judgments here. We are all on our own path.

Exactly. We also generally tend to think we know more and are more advanced than we are. So be humble. Then, in 10-20 years if we do it right we will see the seed we planted is now a full grown tree, on which young birds can perch and new seeds are growing new trees. I don't fully understand the second paragraph. I don't compare teachers in the way, but collect maps and models from different people and then work to integrate them. Most high level teachings that are grounded in truth have a lot of similarity in their structure, though content can be different. A great book I love is The Mystic Masters Speak by Vernon Howard. It's a collected of tonnes of quotes from mystic masters. You can see in some way how related they are. Namaste Brother

Qigong is standing meditation. My opinion is, you can have Qigong type awakenings in the body, nervous system and organs that you can not gain through psychedelics or simply sitting meditation. Also, side note once you are able to sit for 30 minutes to an hour you can also begin doing things like body scans, inner smile etc which is exciting. I think once you are comfortable with sit and do nothing meditation a bunch of new practices are open you to

I've done a few one hour sessions while being guided by a shaman online. I don't think I could do it alone. It can be very challenging. My whole body and hands cramped and everything the first time it was very painful. Be careful though.. A good shamanic breathing session is like a light dose of 5meo ahha After that session I was in a bad way and made some decisions I regret. NEVER MAKE DECISION directly after a trip, or intense spiritual practice/ ceremony. You aren't thinking right, and things might not be as bad or whatever as they seem.

Listen to your body, doing some Qigong could help balance out your system

Yes. But, to get to their level they weren't like trump, overly confident in their ignorance. They were humble and persistant and suffered greatly until they got to the truth. It was only with their realization, I assume the confidence grew. We must be humble at our stage, because we are not them. Leo for example is very confident, but that is only because he was stable and put in the work.

Oh yea, he openly admits it and I've seen him around on the forum for awhile. It's all love though! I've been ungrounded in the past. I mean, at this point I think I am learning to make distinctions between a grounded spiritual practitioner and someone who is playing games and is ungrounded. Honestly, we are in deep waters here. This is life! We have to go through our process. Ideally though, we make it to land sooner than later. A lot of us are young, and to become wise doesn't happen from watching a video even of the highest wisdom. We actually have to go out, try stuff, experience life, and change through trial and error and direct experience. Our programming, mental models, paradigm's addictions, and immaturity survive even the best and deepest video or book. It's a long term project. If we are young we got like 60ish years to grow. Ideally we grow over the next 10 years so we can live successful, beautiful, spiritual and practical lives full of joy, sobriety, clear thinking and understanding. But, the waves are big and our rudder is malfunctioning. But, I am sure we can make it through..

I think they are one in the same

Let's learn from our mistakes or immaturity around psychedelics and become good examples for others. Psychedelics aren't even the point, we are trying to become wise, integrated and spiritually mature human beings. The work we are doing is much bigger than taking some drugs, having fun, playing with spiritual masterbation ideas. For me, it's about evolving. A huge chunk of that is facing yourself, which is very painful but if we don't feel the pain we don't grow. Last night I was craving a joint, but I instead did Qigong, journaled, practiced guitar and read sober. Sobriety, with a well planned trip every 2 weeks, or month is ideal for me given my direct experience and maturing. I now have a system and well thought out protocol to make the most of the trips for my growth. If we are serious about living the good live, we should be so busy learning, reading, meditating, doing yoga/Qigong/ breathwork, contemplating, going to classes, spending time in our area of mastery, taking online courses etc that we only have 1 day a week every two weeks to do a deep trip. Integrate it, contemplate it stay grounded and grow. I used to be in this mad rush to awaken. Now, I realize less is more. Balanced is better. These tools, teachings and space should be aimed toward becoming mature, balanced and functional. Yes, mistakes happen, yes we are immature and young but the sooner we learn the better. We don't wanna end up in some shit situation that we can't come back from. Wherever we are now, how ever we acted in the past. Let's rise together!

Only game in town

As I sit and read about you two talking, imagining you exist. I still can't tell if I understand this line of thought contextually. I felt like I grocked what consciousness is... But the grocking is fleeting. I still don't know how to harness it, or if it is harnessable. but, if I am fooling myself I am good at it. It's like I've been doing it for awhile or something.

I think a combination of too much and not enough is most dangerous

I have that fear too. Read bout it in Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene.

Can we all just admit how scary this whole thing is? Life is brutal. You make one mistake and everyone hates you and your life is over. All the success you build can be taken away in an instant with one bad decision. I am personally going to study suicide so if the time comes I know how to do it effectively. It's a profound balancing act, and it goes on and on and on and on... A decision you made 20 years ago is still in ways with you today. I get this whole thing is divine, love etc. But, it's also kind of sick and twisted. I want to be successful in my life, but living a life as a failure who everyone hates and demonizes... I won't stick around for that. I understand this response is fear based. I feel a lot of fear if I am honest in my life. If reality is infinity, I still don't feel satisfied with many of Leos explainations of love. I mean, obivously it's love but it's expression seems arbitrary.

I have suicidal thoughts because there are aspects of reality which are super shit, and I am still learning to accept them and course correct. I am eternal, and I don't need to stick around in some shit situation for the rest of my life. Obviously, putting in the work and growing through mistakes, emotional labour etc is ideal compared to suicide. But, If I find myself painted into a corner and there is no getting out of it. I'll take my chances.

Idk what it is. But, I learned a lesson. 8 weeks of hard work only to have to repeat it again in a few months is not something I am interested in doing again. I passed well the entire program, only to have a really bad exam...? I got in my own head failed before even started. Accounting is very technical, which is new for me. I don't normally fail tests, but I did here. Even though I have like an 85 in the course, I fail the entire thing based on an exam? So stupid. I was short like 7 points...? Why can't I just retake the exam? No use fussing. My fires are burning this week. I will not fail again.

I failed by 7 points. I didn't apply my study time properly this week. I got so caught up in studying life purpose material I lost the ball on my school studies. I also let needly distractions take me. ALSO, writing it too late at night when I was already tired and had just written another exam. Back to back exams don't work. I need to plan realistically and space them out next time. I am turning up the motors to succeed in the next courses. I have the time, energy and intelligence to succeed. I fully apply myself, retake aim and put aside my dreams for the sake of being practical and mastering survival. Dreams are for people far more developed, mature, disciplined than myself. I feel a subtle suicidal thought pattern, about how shitty I am and inadequate to life. I will have to pay who knows how much and retain the 13 week program again. FUCK THAT. What the fuck am I doing with my life? There is no reason to fail. I did so well on the EXACT same material a few weeks ago, only to pull blank after blank...? This is a painful lesson. I felt a bit self sabotage during the exam too, wanting to throw in the towel early. I had 15 minute left, and just handed it in.? Why did I do that? Do I get off on my own failure? I feel like I should feel more pain than I do. IDk Anyway, I am already making plans in my head to reflect and review what went wrong with this class. I will adjust, and course correct, say no to everything (like life purpose) for now until pass all my classes until the end of October. That is like 2 months, Lets just focus it out. Failing an exam, there is not reason for it. I want to hate myself and beat myself up. But I am learning that does nothing. Life purpose might be a pipe dream for me. As of right now, I have nothing to share, create, or teach. I only have to learn, integrate and mature. I want to master a basic skillset, get a decent job, and honestly... There is so much I want to do. I just feel frustrated by my lack of strategic planning, execution etc. I don't really care for my current life. I feel very constrained and full of "What could have been" I feel like I have squandered so many opportunities I couldn't see that at the time. Looking back I was giving so much in this life, but I have no reference experiences or the knowledge I have now. It makes me want to kill myself. But, then I realize that killing myself is just my selfish desire to simply have the life I want. There is no proof of what death even is, and if this life is capable of being shitty what makes me thing killing myself would make anything better? I just need to learn, persist, don't be a fucking idiot and get shit done.

They can be very powerful, but I don't read novels often

Something with programming or accounting maybe

I self reflected this morning, and am course correcting so I don't fall into this situation again. I have the capacity to pass all my exams in this program. I note the mistake, I course correct and I keep going. I can retain the course in October or November I think. It's unfortunate, but not awful. Mistakes happen in life. I am just like any body else, average and my success will be what I put into life. I love myself more, I will work harder and more joyfully. This is a technical field I am studying and I am grateful for the progress I made. I also learned and reflected on my values and how I wasn't meeting them, and best practices for studying and exam writing in general. I made many errors that lead to this demise. I have spent too much time complaining about how life is the past 5 years, trying to change the nature of this thing. But, in reality this life is brutal, long, boring and unforgiving. You must just put in the work, and let the way. Reality owes you nothing, you aint special and anything you have that is good is luck * effort and deliberate practice.

I think the biggest problem was I was tired, and basically instead of just doing the exam I talked myself out of it. I passed another exam literally 30 minutes before on the exact same subject. (we had to write two exams for to governing bodies on the same subject) Failing by 7 points, was my sleepiness and frustration. And yes, not preparing as strongly as I know I can do going forward. Fuck this shit

I found he comes around really well later in the video. I suppose, the video will be ready when you are. There's lots of other areas to work on! Personally, I like these videos I find them humbling. I sense being humbled is an acquired taste.