Thought Art

Okay Forum, I’m looking at where I am in life. I am 28 years old, balding. I’m living month to month at this moment annd working to change that. Unfortunately student loans and a personal loan for a dumb marketing course have me in debt grid lock. I have a plan to pay off the debt, I’ve got a solid budget. My financial habits and psychology has vastly improved since investing in financial books and videos.I also have plans for savings, etc. This plan is to basically to reach ground zero common sense financially. I admit, I used to be a financial retard and I’ve been working to face the truth of my situation. Honestly I’ve been a retard in every area of my life: relationships, friendships, networking, business, spirituality, etc I have an accounting diploma to pay the bills. It’s not really my thing unfortunately. It’s milk toast. Looking at doing cybersecurity. I’m putting money first, and not interest or purpose because I’m so tired of being broke. Soon… I’ll be 40 years old and then what? What did I live for? Leo talks about life purpose or doing work you find meaningful and that it’s not a luxury but, Leo also planned strategically and was never broke. Leo was intelligent and intentional unlike my dumb ass. I’m more interested in music and Qigong but I am at a point where these things will never be full time jobs. I’m thinking I’m too old and too busy just getting the basics. I feel pretty full of inner resources right now to solve my financial issues and get a better paying job. I know I have to meet life on its terms. I feel disheartened. Living a passionless life… just to survive…. I don’t want to be here. But, do I need to surrender to this reality? Is this some kind of learned helplessness? If life was just as simple as get a good paying job, follow financial common sense and get married well… I should have done that when I was 20. Instead I was traumatized, confused, spiritual seeking stoner artist with little common sense and a big brain. I’ve done a LOT of healing, learning, grounding. I feel I’ve matured so much over the past year especially and I do have a vision for wise and mature living. I’m just worried it’s gonna not be… a life purpose. My YouTube channel is an expression of purpose but… it doesn’t pay me money. I like the idea of escaping wage slavery but, chances are if I am here it’s too late and I’m doomed to be a wage slave. Which, I guess most people call a career, 😅. I am afraid I’ve doomed myself to mediocrity. Am I missing certain ingredients in my brain or something? I know I am smart and I can get to a decent place in the next couple of years. I can’t boil my whole life down to this awkward phase of self correct in my 20s. I just… I’m aware of how valuable my 20s were and they are behind me. It doesn’t feel great. I do feel behind. TLDR: Is it wiser to give up on life purpose to focus on just survival in my case? Learning to just enjoy working and living wisely instead of trying to make it as an artist or whatever? Thanks,

@Princess Arabia That is a decent perspective. In the past I kept the channel separate from the forum just for healthy space. I often share ups and downs here and wanted the audience to be people who didn’t know me. I may include subtle link in the future. Thanks for subscribing. My new routine for neck and shoulders is getting some good feedback. Easy one to start with.

It wouldn’t change much. I’ll think about it. I’m processing the feels

@Princess Arabia Cuz

When Jed McKenna talked about jumping out of a burning building from the 100th floor

@Princess Arabia Don’t like to market here…

@Princess Arabia Little more than a year

@Paradoxed I know what I want. I want to be a professional Qigong teacher. But, I got scammed by a marketing course and I feel stuck. Debt is my issue right now. It’s deeply frustrating despite me trying to accept it and just pay it off. I take 100% responsibility for it.

@Princess Arabia https://youtube.com/@EffortlessQigong?si=zdRtSf6nwFmHRG1L

Life is just what is there. Part of spirituality is letting go.

@Chosen144 Could be cool. I’d be surprised if that name wasn’t already taken.

Okay, so some good news and things I can be grateful for… 1. Starting new job next week 2. Likely going to get seasonal work doing payroll part time this summer/ fall which will be extra money to save/ pay off loans. Funny how that worked out. I planted trees for them and this seemed to work out nicely. 3. 574 subscribers on Qigong channel shows I’m having a small impact on the world. I made a little bit of money from it. I enjoy doing it. As I grow my offerings more money will come.

I don’t want to be a complainer. This weather system is passing through me. I let my nutrition slip today as well and ate some garbage. I feel lots of anger boiling up in me. I hate my situation. Can’t afford to renew my Qigong teacher training certificate. Didn’t realize I had to buy workshops, etc to keep it up to date. My stupid ass.

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Days like today though. I find it very difficult. Dealing with some passing pessimism.

Been wasting time the last hour and 20 minutes. Mind thinking about debt and life purpose and work and meaning. I’m annoyed. I’m getting older. I can afford anything. I feel trapped, though I know it’s temporary. I will honour my life. I have failed my life largely. I am a failure. But, who knows what life has left for me.

How To Use Crippling Debt for Spiritual Development

I have a habit of pleasure eating. Not in alignment with my nutritional values. I want to enjoy some snacks, but want to make them healthier.

I don’t mean to be a jerk either. I am doing my best. I wish everyone well.

What are your favourite products for cleaning and hydrating your face? I am looking at the brand Cera Ve and wonder if people have other preferences?

I have done this a few times now. Usually after an hour of two of Qigong practice. It definitely feels psychedelic, tribal almost, there is a very powerful shift in consciousness. It's actually frightening at first when your energy shifts, but it feels sort of warm, and magical. This breath-work session for me generated a lot of energy, and created some profounds shifts in my consciousness. Needless to say I will be studying breath-work and becoming a certified teacher. I hope you enjoy this breath-work sessions and let us know what your experience is.

Don’t smoke 🚭

Sat-Chit-ananda

Weed can be used for spiritual purposes. Problem is it’s easily abused.

Religious Dogma is not allowed here. For this reason I am locking the thread. People claiming to be Jesus… and we have had a few here the last few month. I will try to speak to you. If I see that you are boasting to be Jesus, putting yourself above everyone else, bragging, boasting, acting superior, clearly dogmatic etc… I will lock the thread and issue warning points. This forum is not intended for these types of situations. You are encouraged to seek support, I wish you well with what you are going through. This is not a place for Dogma. If you are feeling unstable please seek professional support. This personality cult around Jesus is an issue that runs through our society. However, on this forum our focus is on being non dogmatic, open minded, epistemologically humble, and serious in our approach to living truthfully. Building a Jesus ego/ fantasy/ purpose is not what we are doing here. No one is expected to play along with someone claiming to be Jesus. There are plenty of people who go through this. This is not the forums focus.