Thought Art

@Natasha Tori Maru I’m pretty bad. My bad boy era.

Some of what Bryan does does not interest me. My main take away are health fundamentals. Even though I don’t embody them perfectly. I improve.

@LordFall I ride in them a lot for work. Very dangerous. Also, very safe if you are careful. There is a risk in everything. My work is full of safety considerations I have lots to be mindful of. We almost got hit by a Jet who didn’t warn us of him being coming in for landing at a small air strip.

Sorry for swearing everyone. We should always speak as best we can with respect and non-violence.

The challenge with Leo’s work is that it is so massive, sprawling, nuanced and requires so much time to not only listen to, contemplate, do the readings and assignments.. it really takes years and decades understand for those who try to even with the busyness of life and our laziness…. People are gonna struggle to understand the work. It’s some of the deepest philosophical work, if not the deepest ever produced. It isn’t perfect, comes from an imperfect but phenomenal human being… 99% of humans will never know what’s Leo knows. I think even many people on this forum will never know what Leo knows because of his history and genetics. But, that being said so many people here are very intelligent in there own ways and that is important to recognize.

As a Qigong teacher and studying mindfulness coach it’s my duty to accept what is, where I am and what has happened. I accept all of reality as part of my evolutionary process. Swearing, cursing, name calling are rare things for me in my communications for others. Really, other than blowing off steam, feeling powerful, covering shame, etc it generally will always backfire on you. At the same time, it can shake things up for everyone. But, as I realize my role in life this kind of thing should be put to an end. As someone who wants to be a role model for peace and wellbeing that type of communication can’t happen, and when it does it should be addressed. I will though, the occasional conflict, or angry outburst will never convince me to quit working on myself, teaching and learning qigong. But, the goal going forward is that I am not the kind of person who swears, name calls, etc, even if rarely in this group. It doesn’t feel good long term, spreads bad vibe and example on the forum and is opposed to my life purpose. I take ownership and responsibility in my life.

My routines will continue to improve and deepen as time goes by. I have a lot more courses to study, teachers to learn from and thousands more routines to make. I think I just have to keep going here. Keep letting the practice evolve as I do. Qigong is really a profound mystery to me and I think there is so much more to learn. Qigong and it's practice I don't think magically makes anyone a good person, or solves all their personal issues. I choose to be a creator, to strive and to grow despite my short comings. I am a real person. Always learning about myself. My mind isn't pure, my ego isn't fully matured and I can sometimes let anger fly. I've begun working with my coach for business and goal related stuff, I am currently looking for a good psychologist or therapist as I do struggle related to people sometimes... I have trauma and attachment style issues that make deep intimacy and trust a challenge, and I am continue with my mindfulness, Qigong and breathwork practice. I will continue to journal and grow.

Released another Qigong Routine

https://aurumbrothers.com/products/parvus-turquoise-camel-4mm-silver-bracelet These bracelets are so cool

True religion is the pursuit of pure understanding.

I feel the grossness of those words for sure. Almost like a huge dump. Probably not good to take a shit on the floor of the forum. Anger, what is your nature? I don’t think you are entirely bad. I have a sharp tongue sometimes. It’s rare. As I mature. I want to be someone who never swears or calls names. Why did I swear and call names? Because, I wanted to just rip straight through that whole fucking petty group think. I don’t need to be in that level trapped with complainers in Perry stuff. No offence to them. Typically I wouldn’t share that. But, I choose to. I want to be disagreeable sometimes. It’s good practice so I can better find my footing in life. No, just no. No more petty posts. I don’t read them and I don’t engage in them. I can hold myself to a higher standard going forward. But I’m not engaging or spending time here wasting it on debates of any kind. I’ll update my journal to share my experiences. I’ll engage occasionally. But, debate, fight, prove to, or anything else is not something I want to do. I am too creative right now. To motivated. I will continue to focus on my own work.

@Yimpa Hey, my bad. That is a good reminder to me of what it’s like being a mod. I apologize for that if that’s the case. I essentially rarely use that kind of language. But, I don’t know I feel vindicated right now to say it regardless of if you or someone else cares. This is an intential rebellion. When it comes to the seriousness I take in my drive for Developing true understanding. I want to make my stance very clear. This is not a cult, and people of lower intelligence for whatever reason are fixating on petty little things. It drags this place down. I get people gotta do their things. But, come on. And complaining about those things too? I just don’t care man. A some point I just gotta let myself be. I’m willing to adjust and be more mindful going forward. But, I said that!!!

@SincerityHey, it was worth it. I wouldn’t do it many times more for sure. But, I am glad it was said. I choose to say it, stand by it. I know you chose to apply warning points, despite my history and everything. I gladly hold them. I will stand up for my freedom, my mind, and my growth. I wont live underneath the pressure of those whiners and complainers any more. If I need to get warning points in the process to shatter this I don’t mind. I will also stand firmly in my rights as a guest here, as someone who has been around a long time, generally always respectful to the best of my ability. But, sometimes you have to say fuck you. I am sorry. It’s not like an everyday thing. Just contemplate the nature of these warning points. I don’t really care if they are there. But, I stand 100% with myself that people can…

I rest in the burden of speaking my truth. Though, I will do best not to repeat it.

So good. I got a warning points for saying this: “You wanna accuse me of being a small brain cult follower? Go fuck yourself you complete moron. Fuck you. You can put me into a box in your own mind but I don’t frankly care. I’m gonna keep learning, studying, growing and maturing and I don’t give a fuck about morons who don’t get the fucking picture of what we are doing here. “

I stand by my choice of words on this thread as en expression of the warrior side of me. However, whether or not they should be publically expressed it another matter. I do care about the well being and ecosystem of the forum. I’ve been here a long time. If people want to insult this place and me. I want to be able to swear rarely. But, hey. I am willing to talk it out. Maybe I can’t do that. I respect forum users. I am sure I can do better. I want to approach the forum differently. More thoughtfully going forward. I think this means less interaction and more reading. I am sharing this here just as the outcome for others as to what happened when I swore above. Leo has sweared on occasion, other people have done this. If Mods want to issue me warnings without ever speaking to me directly that’s their choice. I would appreciate more direct communication and chance to correct errors. I’ve been around you know? Sometimes you gotta speak to someone and help them see something in themselves. The warning points can help me grow. Thanks! When people say these things about the work this is deeply offensive to me. I’ve put a lot of time into the forum, and following this work. So, honestly to people who think this is a cult. @#$#$ #$%.. I have nothing actually against you. But, Your not going to shake me or rattle me up anymore. I don’t care you think that and I’ve determined this is not a cult. I don’t need to fight or defend this ever again. But, going forward I will not swear to the best of my maturity and would appreciate people in this community to help me grow in this matter. I respect the ecosystem of the forum more than I do swearing at you guys. My apologies.

I 100% stand by my comment as an expression of how I actually felt. But, I recognize not all things should be expressed openly. Even with my long history here I guess people can still provide me with warning points. There is a feeling of it not being fair, and a feeling of understanding. Giving me warning points is totally your choice. I have been on this forum for years, I’ve been a mod. Leo occasionally swears in the way I did in that post. As a mod I have reached out to people and spoken to them before applying warning points. Pointing out their mistake or error and allowing reprieve. @SincerityYour Choice to mod how you are. Speaking to me was always a choice and you never did. I stand by my choice of words in that context. It’s a rare use of profanity. But you want to give me warning points? That’s totally fine. You don’t offer course for correction?

If I am to return to the forum I need to change my approach. No more exchanging with others with regards to drama. It’s a waste of time and a distraction. Let them figure it out for themselves. I don’t have much to say here. I am imperfect. This is for sure and have lots of inner work, contemplation, and healing journaling to do. It’s overwhelming actually how much I can be doing. So many things to do and improve. But, all in time. I’ve seen a lot of growth over the years. As I mature I see more areas for growth in all major areas of my life. I score low right now in my High Performance planning in many key area of my life. I also see that I am focusing my energy in particular areas of my life which make addressing everything right now at once is impossible. I will talk to my coach Monday about ways I can be more disciplined with my schedule. I am fairly productive right now. I know I need to get to a higher level of focus, distraction free work, dealing with boredom if I am to get to a higher level of success. I am making progress in my courses. But, not enough. I am letting blocked time slide too much in some key areas. Anyway, I was journaling heavily. Doing some Qigong. I am up late. Time to turn in. I think I’ll always have room for improvement. I made a lot of progress this week I can be proud of. I also see areas where I need to lock in. I am also aware of balancing my plan with my needs and life circumstances that come up. But, I also think I need to say no to more things, and block time more skillfully. Be more focused on referring to my schedule not doing what feels best.