Lento

@SaaraSabina Yes, I think we do. Some people might think they don't, but I think they don't appreciate what they already have. A lot of people don't appreciate the importance of being healthy until they lose their health. A close friend is something we all intimately need, no matter how introverted we might be. It's a biological need. Interesting video on point: ?

I think the OP has a point. He/she is trying to reduce the hierarchical bias to zero, or at least somewhere near it. He/she is not denying the hierarchy itself. And definitely the "start your own forum" answer is a huge misunderstanding and a huge fallacy. Can't you simply read the lines? The OP is giving an honest feedback, hoping for it to be taken seriously and to be considered by the administrator and moderators without self-bias. Seriously, have some flexibility, just because you own the place doesn't mean it can't be improved.

@Joel3102 He literally walks the talk. Thanks again ??

Oh, wow! Just the blog I was looking for. Thank you ?

@Nichts Okay, jokes aside. I'd like to emphasise on three points here: 1) I think $3000 is way way too much for something like that. 2) Three days will never be enough or anywhere near it of practice. 3) Whatever they teach in that boot camp will never be as real as the real "hunt". So, as for the money, I think you can use it in a lot of more beneficial ways, I personally would spend it on high-quality books, seminars, courses, etc... I don't think it's a wise decision to spend it all on one specific field, no matter how tempting it might seem. And as for the boot camp, I don't think it will be able to teach you the real game, especially since it's only 3-days-long. That's way too shy of a duration for such amount of money. Besides, I would introspect my motives behind that temptation. I mean, after all, it might be a justification stemming from fear of going out by yourself and try to approach on your own (whether alongside a wingman or not). Really, contemplate why you seem to favour spending all that money on such thing, why not simply just go out, try and fail, like everyone else, until you succeed. I don't have the links, but I've recently overheard about some research from a friend, which mainly talks about the gap between academic teachings and the application. This phenomenon turned out to be quite relevant even in world class universities, like Cambridge and Oxford. So, don't expect the boot camp to be any different. In the end it all boils down to you, are you willing to put your ego aside and approach girls? That's the key to approaching. Take care of the looks, work on your confidence, self-esteem, emotional intelligence, humour, and so on (I don't know about you, but I assume the common theme for guys of being terrible at those things). One last point, working on other areas of personal development. They all overlap in the end and create a better person out of you. Just my thoughts.

I'd be your bitch for $3000. ?

The withdrawal symptoms, whether the addiction is substance dependent or not, might include physical death. But that's quite rare.

@Preety_India You're right. And it's good to be aware of someone else's experiences. Thank you so much ?

A normal person could do that, I don't see why an enlightened one wouldn't be able to.

In my case, she keeps trying to hunt me, and I'm mainly responding out of empathy. I could stop that, but then I would lose direction and eventually I would lose this colourful life ?

Actually, I'm currently on the edge of engaging in such dynamic. I like what @Emerald said here. In my case, I am being the people pleasing queen, and the woman is probably the socially manipulative villainous queen. I started noticing this dynamic, but I wasn't sure until I read this thread. Now, the problem is that I actually feel complete with her, like all my problems and fears disappear or at least feel very small, my motivation multiplies by 20, and everything in my life falls into place and feels under control. I don't know whether all of that is just an illusion or something true. All I can say right now is that I am so attracted to her and I find difficulties in resisting that attraction. One last thing is that I feel completely sober, unlike the intoxication that usually comes with falling in love. To say the least, I feel 300% alive, and conscious AF.

Notice that in asking for advice you're actually still in the theoretical territory. The action that you took in posting your question, however, is the practice. Notice that the action came from a deeper source which is your emotions and authentic self. Follow that deeper source and you will get where you need to be. After all, the theory might be the path for you to walk and discover. Ask yourself: what do I really want? And then follow your heart.

Too much of victim mentality among well-developed people = gets too much unnecessary and probably counter-productive care and attention (prime example: Mikael89 here on the forum)

Add me in here

Couldn't agree more ?

There can be different layers to this question: On the one hand, you identify with your whole body, yet you don't experience every single cell or muscle etc... On the other hand, just because it is said to be so does not actually make it so. In other words, this whole 'you are everything' thing may be just a perspective to help you move out of the materialist paradigm. It does not necessarily have to be true. Or maybe your ideas of what everything is like or how you are conscious of it are irrelevant. Just my thoughts.

Tell a woman that she's allowed to talk to everyone except one person, she will reject everyone and chase that one person. Be that person, that's step one, have something special and take care of your looks and reputation. Now that you got the outside taken care of, time to work on your inner self. Confidence, detachment, passion, virtue, having a purpose, humour, positivity, leadership, etc... the more the better of course. All of the above is the infrastructure you need to have for successful approaching, but don't make this a limiting belief, you don't need to have all of them perfected. You certainly have some good things already, you might need to develop them a little bit more. Some of them may only develop from rejection, so you might need to allow yourself to get rejected repeatedly. Now for the approach, you need to apply the law of attraction, with a little twist. I mean that you need to approach from a place of abundance. Don't ever show neediness. Be comfortable in your own skin, be detached from her opinion. And then talk anything and the conversation will run itself. Easier said than done though.

I wish that most people in spirituality would only assume things. Most of the spiritual people I interact with treat those assumptions as absolute truths. But so do the 'unspiritual' ordinary people with the opposite assumptions. It's a huge trap, in my opinion, and most people fall for it.

You're almost right, but if I may make a little adjustment: I have no 'fixed' idea

@The Don Do you need a body to dream?

This isn't the truth.

@Preety_India Yes exactly! That's what I want. I personally don't find it stressful or emotionally difficult to deal with such people. In fact, I enjoy being the puppet master whenever I am. However, that's not often the case. Sometimes, I just don't have a clue for how things work or how I should act. I often find myself disconnected from the situation and it's not something that I want to keep encountering. I'd appreciate it if you could share any videos or books as suggestions. I don't know if it's appropriate to tell you that you're a goldmine of expertise, but you are. And it's a great pleasure for me to share ideas with you. Good luck to you too.

@Preety_India Very rich and insightful post! There's a lot to learn from you indeed. Thank you. I don't disagree with anything you said. In fact, I think your post is enriching to this thread. However, if you're like me, i.e. trying to become a better leader, I would suggest using a different lens for looking at this whole dynamic thing. Instead of just rejecting the dynamics, how about embracing it and making it work for your favour? The reason why, is that we as leaders need to be more realistic. In the real life, we don't only meet the good people, we deal with all kinds of narcissistic, neurotic, controlling, ignorant, selfish, and so on kinds of people. So, I think it's helpful to learn their language as well. What do you think? @Nickyy I like the Spiral Dynamics approach and I think it's so much relevant to this topic. I also like viewing it from other perspectives, like more humane "in vitro" perspectives. You made some great points, and I certainly enjoyed reading your post. However, I was hoping to read more about your experiences and how you deal with people of different personalities. Thank you.

Suffering and solitude.