Lento

This journal is going to be dedicated for tracking my progress towards achieving the ultimate way of living life, which is balance in all aspects of life; God and the devil, conciousness and unconsciousness, the heart and the mind, selfishness and selflessness, freedom and discipline, thinking and doing, wants and needs, success and happiness, Enlightenment and Life Purpose, socialising and solitude, working and resting, waking and sleeping, and basically everything. The thing is that I've spent many years in the past practising selfishness and its accessories (unconsciously), until I've got to a certain point where I'd completely burnt myself out and gradually started gravitating towards the opposite side of the pendulum. And then out of a sudden, I've become completely selfless and known how life looks like from that point of view. Recently, I started gravitating again towards the opposite side of selflessness, and so I wanted to make sure that I apply more awareness on that dynamic this time. I think I have had enough experiences with the extremes, and that time has come to live in harmony with everyone and everything, including myself. The main goals of this journal: Maintaining health. Creating and maintaining a high-quality (the highest) lifestyle. Becoming more systematic/nuanced with the way I deal with life in general. Balancing what I want to do with what needs to be done. Quitting internet and phone addictions. Finding the balance in being unbalanced, which is the ultimate goal of this journal. I imagine that as living a fully balanced life without having to consciously balancing it all the time. I think it'd occur when I reach levels of awareness where almost no more awareness is required to manage going through life. I'm not sure this is realistic, but it's an inspiring goal to look up to. So... Here I go...

Crazy intuition I have! ?

@Keyhole Wow! Nice pic! Your mind says 30+ y.o. btw.

I see a lot of people stuck due to overthinking future decisions. I have found this gem quite helpful for me and wanted to share it with you; Good luck!

I am the biggest fan and advocate of balance, but the truth is that I don't know whether it is the best way to live life or not. How would I even know?! All I know is that I want balance, but that's about it.

@Prevailer I'm unaware of those certain meditation practices. Could you please elaborate?

This is my path too but I don't know about other people's paths. As well, I think there's no obligation to do anything at all. It's all just existence doing itself, so what could possibly go wrong? Sure, we can still talk about civil rights, morality, rules, etc... and other relative matters. There are no contradictions here. But the fundamental truths should be realised first, and only upon them we can create whatever constructions we agree upon. That's called integral thinking, I guess.

@Seth For me, nowadays insights come pretty much effortlessly. They literally appear when I don't intend to look. I'm not sure that answers your question because I wasn't able to capture it. What is the outcome you're looking for? Insights? Enlightenment? Peace of mind? What is it exactly?

There is a head, but unless I'm mistaken, possession is imaginary.

@Prevailer There ain't no computers; Existence is prior to any explanations. I perceive that as an obvious fact and wonder why it's difficult for many people to accept it. I wonder why people like to create maps and assume that there are rules to existence.

@remember You're right. I'm just informing you that with this approach, you're more likely to fail than succeed. It's as if you are asking for peace by submission. It's not going to work. Instead, letting go would probably do.

I saw you preaching against the ego, yet now it seems to be your best friend. Just stop, please.

Yes, because you claimed to be open to criticism. I thought you were trying to help. My mistake. How about surrendering your sword for love? You can't fight fire with fire.

@remember Will you leave him alone for fuck's sake?! You should learn to listen more instead of always trying to problem-solve. Good intentions aren't always enough. He probably just needs some space to express himself and then he'll be better.

@Martin123 Thanks! Here's my result: I think it's accurate. Any advice would be appreciated.

I apologise that this was the impact. Please know that it was never my intention, and please forgive me. I'm really sorry.

Would you let your child throw itself off a cliff? I'm not saying that the one who's being preached to has a mind and understanding of a child. I'm saying that in the preacher's perception, that is likely the case. Otherwise, they would have probably kept their insights for themselves. Now, if it's assumed that there's ego behind their preaching, then that's something else. For me, I prefer not making this assumption except when I can't find any other interpretations. Sure, I'm not trying to justify abuse. Just trying to understand it to be able to transcend it for myself and others. And since you've mentioned that there may be a personal trigger, I would say that it's better to try to reconcile this issue once that trigger is gone, because, obviously, it's difficult to be objective, unbiased and, more importantly, clear in perception. Notice! Wouldn't you say that this right here is a form of dominance? A thought trying to dominate other thoughts? For what, really? How sneaky! Still, I would refrain from going further into this discussion until the fury is, at least, over.

@Martin123 I'm not disagreeing with you. Everything you said is great, and I second it. All I was trying to say is that there's work to be done on both sides (and I use the terms masculine and feminine rather loosely). There needs to be acceptance in order for transcendence to occur. In my perception, untangling the patriarchal conditioning does not mean demonising it, but rather understanding it. If there's anything I've learned throughout my journey; it's that what you resist persists.

Perhaps there's another angle to look at it. Essentially, I think the whole patriarchy thing is derived from fatherhood, which is overly masculine love; A father loves and cares for his children, and because he knows better than them, he does his best to help them grow and protect them in the ways he thinks are best. I'm quite sure that the majority of fathers don't practice patriarchy as a form of dominance for suppressing their children's emotions and needs, although that might sometimes be the case; in this case, I would consider that an abuse of fatherhood. Most fathers just practice and preach what they have found useful to them more in a rigid, traditional way. As well, I would create a distinction between intention and impact; I could have the best intentions in the world, yet create a bad impact, and vice-versa. These two are very distinct things and the distinction is really important. That being said; I wouldn't consider the feminine approach superior to the masculine, even though I personally currently have an inclination towards the former. I would consider integrating both approaches to be the superior approach. That may be a little bit off-topic, but it's important that we understand why that dynamic exists and how it completes the feminine. I believe fathers don't wish to suppress emotions and destroy them. It's probably just their way of thinking, just more logical and rational rather than intuitive and emotional, that's all. Notice that you said that the patriarchal conditioning satisfies the need for dominance, which is something I assume you would support, but then you equate that emotional need with abuse. I think there's a distinction here; dominance does not necessarily mean abuse. It can mean something very beautiful like care and protection. In this light, there isn't a need to reject anything said in an insensitive way; I either resonate with it so I take it, or I don't so I ignore it. I get your concern that this insensitivity may hurt sometimes, and I agree with you. That's why I would never recommend such people to get involved in therapy. I would be grateful if they could learn to talk more gently and sensitively, or remain silent. That's a lesson that they should learn if they want to become integrated. Likewise, people like me should learn to embrace that way of "preaching" more in order to become integrated as well. ???

There's nothing to talk about.

Sure. I'm guilty of this. Although, I do think it may have a certain value to some people on their paths. Sometimes, this patriarchal imposing attitude comes out just as what someone needs. It rarely happens to be the case for me at the moment, but I understand that sometimes for some people it can satisfy a certain psychological need on the receiving end for whatever reasons. I think relativity is one of the finest and most beautiful features of reality. What works for me might not work for you, and vice-versa. I believe we all mean good in the end, regardless of the way we communicate our ideas. Thank you for bringing up this discussion and for your insights and concerns. And of course, thank you for your help on my thread. You were very precise in your assessment.

It's happened to me before a couple of times. The way I handle it is by setting my boundaries strongly and not compromise or tolerate anything less than them being completely fulfilled. That way, I either get the discussion I want and I know is helpful for me, or they break my boundaries so I ignore them and never reply to them again. I think it has to do with my capacity to let go. Years earlier, it had been very difficult for me.

@AlphaAbundance

https://www.evergreenpsychotherapycenter.com/styles-adult-attachment/ Autonomous (Secure): Comfortable in a warm, loving and emotionally close relationship. CHECK ?? Depends on partner and allows partner to depend on them; is available for partner in times of need. CHECK ?? Accepts partner’s need for separateness without feeling rejected or threatened; can be close and also independent (“dependent–independent”). CHECK ?? Trusting, empathic, tolerant of differences, and forgiving. CHECK ?? Communicates emotions and needs honestly and openly; attuned to partner’s needs and responds appropriately; does not avoid conflict. CHECK ?? Manages emotions well; not overly upset about relationship issues. POOR ?? Insight, resolution and forgiveness about past relationship issues and hurts. CHECK ?? Sensitive, warm and caring parent; attuned to child’s cues and needs; children are securely attached. CHECK, I guess.